• May 26, 2012
WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW

January 15, 2009

Liveblogging George Bush Junior’s Victory Lap To America

by Jim Newell  

Ughh… people have asked for a drinking game for George W. Bush’s farewell address, which this liveblog will “cover” (as in, “maybe watch.”) Well here’s your game. Drink. Drink constantly. Locate alcohol and imbibe as rapidly as possible. YOU MUST DRINK, IT IS GEORGE BUSH JUNIOR COMMANDING RESPECT. SAVE YOURSELF. DRINK SOME ALCOHOL YOU IDIOT. DRINK VINEGAR AT THE VERY LEAST.

7:59 — The teevee schedule seems to think that this will only be 15 minutes long. Praise 800 Jesuses.
8:00 — We’re watching CNN with a nice gal you may have heard of, Campbell Brown. (This one time she ate our website for like a whole week.) She says that before Bush comes on, people must know about this plane that crashed in New York’s river today. Note that if Rudy Giuliani had been mayor during this, the people in the plane would have surely died and, uh, Greece would be nuked tomorrow.
8:01 — Here he is, in the Hall of Flags or something! The 50 people who care about him are there clapping. There is some crazy woman next to Cheney, who is not smiling.
8:02 — We made the mistake of watching him on HD. Never do this. He looks… gritty. OMG he looks insaner as they zoom in.
8:03 — He congratulates the Negroids and their children for taking over America.
8:04 — Thanks Laura, who has given George a “wild card” for tonight’s bedroom activities. Never again.
8:04 — Thank thanks thanks, blah blah, now let’s get to the motherfucking point…
8:04 — 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11
8:05 — Oh the crazy woman is actually the mother of a 9/11 victim or something. Um, she’s cool?
8:05 — We stuck it to the terrorists over there, not here, etc.
8:05 — “There has been much debate” about the War on Terror, but “no one can question the results.” O?
8:06 — There have been no terrorist attacks since 9/11, because of War.
8:07 — His neck looks like a turkey gizzard on HD. This is completely terrifying.
8:07 — No free country will ever elect killers, or something, he says. Hmm…
8:08 — Some chick had malaria and George Bush saved her.
8:08 — Our public schools are great.
8:09 — Our air, land and water “are cleaner.” R432rmkfewklewr24#@$@#$@#
8:09 — “I have experienced setbacks,” like every other president. Interesting passive phrasing.
8:09 — The point is, the terrorists are coming still so BACK OFF.
8:10 — “It can be tempting to seek cover by turning inward.” We must “reject isolationism” and its twin “protectionism.” This leaves only one option, we may infer, called “imperialism.” This is the everything of George W. Bush.
8:11 — … Does he have pink eye?
8:11 — Here’s a little diddly-o from Tommy Jefferson, who was presimuhdent 2,000 years ago: why dwell on the past? People should just chill.
8:12 — Now he is introducing the 5-6 black people sitting in the front row. One of them built a charter school after Hurricane Katrina, shortly after realizing that he was on his own?
8:13 — Another dude who likes him is going to Iraq and therefore can’t be there, drag.
8:14 — It has been his blessing and honor to rule America.
8:14 — He is happy to be a citizen. PSST, George: it’s not that great.
8:15 — For the final time, “goodbye,” he says. Yeah buh-bye, the end.

{ 227 comments }

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Katie, ask him what he reads!

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm

I walked in the door and immediately did three shots of tequila. Just to be sure I can handle this.

Tra January 15, 2009 at 8:00 pm

I started at noon! But I can still feel the pain …

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:01 pm

And so, hail and farewell. I hate you all. 9-11. Freedom. Suckas!

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:01 pm

Accomplishments: 2 minutes
Challenges for Obama: 28 minutes

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:01 pm

Did George say what plea he will be entering at the Hague?

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:01 pm

We clap because you are leaving. Hooray!

MarvintheCat January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Here come the pardons!

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Oh. My. God. I hate his smug ass so much. There are literally no word.

Did he color his hair? Also.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I can’t wait for him to mention that this is a ‘peaceful transfer of power’ as though he really wanted to have a bloody putsch.

shortsshortsshorts January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

I AM AT WORK I CANNOT DRINK. WHY DONT YOU RUB IT IN MY FACE SOME MORE?
You people have no respect for the west coast time schedule, Mr. President.

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Wow, Lynne Cheney looks old!

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

“I’d like to thank the academy…”

rocktonsammy January 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

HEY LOOK, JUNIOR IS DRUNK!

Tra January 15, 2009 at 8:03 pm

Plus, how long does it take to say, “I tortured the terrists for you, Merica! For you!”

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:03 pm

9/11 Bitches!!!!!!

Mo MoDo January 15, 2009 at 8:03 pm

My get drunk quick drinking game words:
Victory
surge
terrorists
evil
epic fail

I really don’t expect to hear the last one but it’s true.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:03 pm

He doesn’t remember the ‘Bin Ladin to Strike in U.S.’ memo.

Rachel Ray Jihad January 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

911! The best moment of my Presidency!

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

Geeze, even his sentimentality sucks. I remember, I remember, I remember.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

Bush is STILL a 9/11 victim!

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

Man, he looks BAD. Is this going to be a deal where he doesn’t get another haircut ever, like Lyndon?

czechy January 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm

stowed women in the streets??

Amoriahs January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

9/11, 9/11, 9/11…

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

The FBI the intelligence community and the military have been transformed. For the worse. And what’s this nonsense about Afghanistan and Iraq being wonderful paradises now?

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Actually, the Taliban still controls 75% of Afghanistan. And Iraq has gone to a brutal dictatorship to a brutal corrupt quagmire.

myheadsexploding January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

terrorist is the drinking word, obviously. good luck everyone.

rocktonsammy January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

If I could afford shoes, I’d throw them.

Did he just say “toil?”

SuperRounder January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

That’s a lot of black folks in the front row. I wonder how much they’re getting paid.

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

[re=220324]czechy[/re]: stoned women in distress

Squiggyfm January 15, 2009 at 8:05 pm

So this is just him jerking off about 9/11? I’ve already seen this episode.

The Neoskeptic January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

we’ve been safe since 9/11, which was the beginning of all record keeping on national security. everything before and including 9/11 was a freebie.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

“There has been no higher honor than serving as your commander-in-chief.” Well, for you, dumbass.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

A small band of tyrants? Like Cheney, Rumsfeld, Feith, etc.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

“freedomm”: drink!

The Neoskeptic January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

there are no stoned women in the street. everyone’s too broke to get stoned.

Pop Socket January 15, 2009 at 8:06 pm

“small band of fanatics demands total obedience”
Sounds like Rove’s kind of guys.

Totowa January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Again with the world trade center rubble! What about all the rubble he created after 9/11. What an ass, trying to define his presidency with that word FREEDOM, rights and dignity.

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

He is bringing people back to life! He is Jesus!

EnBuenOra January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

This is really surprising that he would mention 9/11/2001 tonight. I really didn’t expect that.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

“When people live in freedom, they do not willingly choose leaders who lead campaigns of terror.”
Explain 2004 then.

sk1win January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Enjoy Paraguay, Douchebag!

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

freedom

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Freedom will be the drinking word.

echoman2000 January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Lynn Chenney is older than “those who must be kept”.

Squiggyfm January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

Finding hope through facebook?

Mr Blifil January 15, 2009 at 8:07 pm

I do not recollect having ever served as your President. I simply don’t remember. No sir. No recollection. Don’t recall. Can’t remember. I’m not saying I didn’t, I just have no memory of ever having done so. No recollection.

EnBuenOra January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Let me offer up a faith-based “fuck you, you fucking prick.” America is “measurably cleaner.” We took “decisive measures” to save the economy. Fuck you, George Bush Jr.

myheadsexploding January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pm

the addicted and suffering are finding new hope through facebook, er, faith-based, er…

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pm

should I order Chinese or Japanese tonite? hmmmm

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pm

[re=220337]chascates[/re]: I think he meant the entire Republican Party…Liddy Dole is seated in Row 2 next to a wax figurine made to look like Bob Dole.

sarcasticusername January 15, 2009 at 8:08 pm

this man never manages to sound anything other than completely and utterly creepy; he even made the adorable obama kids sound creepy and that’s like impossible.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Marshall Pétain will be considered a better leader.

stew January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Now back to Crawford and some chilled Jack!

lightskinegro January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Hey look. It’s that asshole blathering again.

sati demise January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

America is cleaner? only when you are gone georgie.

lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie &etc liar.

Cookie Guggelman January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Love how numbnuts was totally overshadowed today by the hero pilot.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Oh dear — he’s leaving us with his driblets of wisdom.

Pop Socket January 15, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Supreme Court nominees
bank failures

These are the things he’s proud of?

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

[re=220354]smellyal8r[/re]: These people must be so degraded to sit there. No Collin Powell.

JohnnyMac January 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

I had to back up the DVR to be sure, but he really did almost say “finding new hope through Facebook”

caddylou January 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

He looks even drunker in HD…

shortsshortsshorts January 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

He has such a stupid face. It’s hilarious. I have no sound so I just get to watch his flapping stupid mouth make outrageous stupid words. Sooooo stupid.

lightskinegro January 15, 2009 at 8:10 pm

goody evil?

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Cause Jesus changed my heart.

paolaccio January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Murdering the innocent is wrong! Bush is a Jew-hating Hamas-lover!

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Yes, we get uncomfortable about your constant refrain of good and evil. People who agree with me wholeheartedly = good; people who don’t = evil.

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

You are a failure. STFU and please leave. Thanks.

Keram2 January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

Yawn. What’s on TNT? I bet it’s Law and Order. (Bom bum, bum bum bum bum, bum. bum. *guitar solo*)

Oh wait. It’s the NBA. Oh well. Basketball basketball basketball.

EnBuenOra January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

I actually feel like I have a good deal of ‘moral clarity’, and it tells me that Bush Jr. is an immoral, evil, shallow, incompetent failure of a mother fucker.

And don’t you dare quote from Thomas Jefferson, you fucking prick.

sati demise January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

[re=220355]sarcasticusername[/re]: to me he sounds just like Kim Jon Ill or North Korea.

cal January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

So if George is leaving and Hopey doesn’t take over until the 20th, does that mean Cheney’s in charge?

(“Cheney in Charge” would be a great sitcom, wouldn’t it?)

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

“I’ve often talked to you about good and evil. And this has made some uncomfortable.”
It makes me uncomfortable when a guy with the strongest military at his command has a worldview that comes from the Saturday morning cartoons.

Pop Socket January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

“we must speak out for justice and truth”
Which is why I want Rumsfeld indicted for war crimes now.

Monsieur Grumpe January 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm

I’m yelling at my Tee Vee and he’s still talking.

Moral clarity? Someone must teach that imbecile what irony means.

Cookie Guggelman January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Bush to America: You’ll get over me.

The Station Manager January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Ow, my brains.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=220315]Tra[/re]: Poor lad. Carrying the Bush genes he has always confused the word “terrorist with the word “ferret”. This is why special ed. was created.

MarvintheCat January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Uhmerikunz are comin to expand ur libertiez.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Charter Schools good, Teachers’ Union BAD!

sk1win January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Funky Cold Medina! Oh yeah!

Keram2 January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

OH he’s pulling a Blago, only the people in the crowd aren’t crippled. And the hair.

lightskinegro January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Round up all the black soldiers

SloppyCronkite January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

i see examples of America’s character all around me: McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s are all near my house.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

where the white heroes at?

Dientes January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=220368]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I think it is the eyebrows

Squiggyfm January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

“And now the parade of negroes!”

echoman2000 January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Laura hits it. Think about that.

SuperRounder January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

This man has a despair in his eyes. It’s the look of a someone desperate to sell something they know no one wants. Like a female prostitute at the RNC.

itgetter January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Oh god. It’s always wrong to kill for an ideology? Did he really just say something along those lines? Irony is really lost on him, isn’t it? I’m already anticipating the old footage that Jon Stewart is going use to destroy this speech.

Bic January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Why is he smirking throughout his talk? Cause he thinks he’s fooling us with all this nonsense speech?

Monsieur Grumpe January 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=220368]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
His lips are moving but all I hear is duh duh duh doh.

rocktonsammy January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

At least Blago didn’t trot out the coloreds.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Black heroes! Who knew?

lightskinegro January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Hey look. It’s fuck face flapping his jaws again!

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

And now the portion of the speech “A lady from Pasadeana…” “A soldier who died is also in the room of freedom…”

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Oh great — we’re sending 60-year-old new recruits to the front lines! Freedom!

Anonymous Office Zombie January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Murdering innocents in the name of an ideology is always wrong? Really? REEAAALLLYYYY, GEORGE???… head… ready… to… explode… obliviousness… overload… bzzzt… bzzzzzttt…

Amoriahs January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

This speech has completely removed my snark, which has been replaced by a re-cap of the total loathing I’ve felt for this man over the past 8 years

SuperRounder January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

[re=220368]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s the eyebrows that keep fucking it up for him.

Tra January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

You know, I don’t think he ever figured out what a president was supposed to do. Didn’t anyone ever read him the job description?

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Can he really believe this shit? Is he really the most self-deluded person who ever lived?

Bruno January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

So how do I donate to the presidential library again? America needs to know.

Incredulicious January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

“The thing I’ll miss most about being presdint? Not being able to tell Jack Bauer to torture those rag wearing motherfuckers until they shit themselves anymore. Hoo-wee, that was hoot. Ah, well.”

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Oh my fucking god. Seriously George? Do you still really still have to hide behind people who actually do good things to make yourself look better? Stand up and take your failure like a fucking man. You have run this country into the ground so much that the fact that anyone could manage in the past eight years to get up and do anything even remotely good is a damn miracle. JUST LEAVE!!! agh.

czechy January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

and the privilege of my life to serve as your denizen madame president.

Nerdalicious January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Short & Creepy.

stumpycuse January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Will someone just throw a fucking shoe already!

Mr. Tusks January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Didn’t the White House that Jefferson lived in burn down?

myheadsexploding January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

c ya wouldn’t wanta be ya

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

May we never see your sorry ass again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sati demise January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Bush has only the 24% Sarah Palin base to talk to/about….finally over. thats the last time I have to listen to that psycho

lightskinegro January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

And good fuckin riddance A-HOLE

SloppyCronkite January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

His official American title is douchebag.

Monsieur Grumpe January 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Good night and fuck you.

BadKitty January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

SHUT UP, YOU FREAK!! SHUT UP! GO AWAY!

Oh. Cool. He really is going away.

I barely had time to throw one shoe!

itgetter January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

He’s done! Now can he bumble around in the back of the room trying to find a door that opens, just for old time’s sake?

joe twelve pack January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

oh gawd! did anyone just see the chubby guy wipe tears away as the applause began?!?!

vomit.

smellyal8r January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

All of this monkey shines for 15 minutes? That’s it? 50 people in the room for a 15 minute speech? Idiotic. No Ugly Betty tonite for this crapola? Make him leave right now. Tonite. The end.

Keram2 January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap FAIL.

TheeFauxhemian January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

I wanted to vomit after the first thirty seconds, so I tried to take safe haven in my bedroom, but the teevee box was too loud.

Dubya lives in opposite land.

It is tragic.

The Neoskeptic January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

chris mathews: “it’s like teeball, everyone gets a trophy”

Nerdalicious January 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm

Blabberman must be frothing at the mouth at this point.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Well, that was perfectly horrid. But a good kind of horrid — like getting a nookie from the neighborhood bully the last time before he gets deployed to Iraq.

off-white working class January 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

anyone notice that godless american hunchback liddy dole lurking in the 2nd row? how’s it feel to be unemployeeeeeeedddd suckaaaaa! muahahhahahahaha.

Kittens January 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Ding, dong the witch is dead. Wicked witch is dead.

Jonny Lieberman January 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

“I’m still smirkin’ you filthy fucking assholes!”

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:16 pm

“Our public schools are great.” In the text of the speech, it appears as “grate”.

Giant Robot January 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Imagine him giving this speech if McCain had won. Then again, don’t.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm

The Gallop poll from just a few days ago claims that 75% of Republicans still approve of the job he did. THAT is the greatest problem facing President Obama.

ABitOfACommunist January 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm

The first call on C-span after the speech:

“I can’t believe these guys are applauding a war criminal! You guys are fucking n-”

…cut off

Amoriahs January 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Campbell Brown’s sidekick just called Bush a “Gentleman”, thank God he didn’t add the word “scholar” to that…

rocktonsammy January 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm

He should have started with,”excuse me while I whip this out.”

Tra January 15, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Fuck you. May we never see your smirking mug on tv again in any context that does not involve war crimes trials or a fatal mauling by angry badgers.

sarcasticusername January 15, 2009 at 8:19 pm

@shorts: that really is the overwhelming impression one walks away with when watching him, there’s just too much stupid for words up at that podium. without even knowing what he’s saying, everything about him just screams stupid, it’s amazing really; he does have one skill after all, he’s got stupid down pat.

sk1win January 15, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Matthews is destroying Bush! Wow, I know MSNBC is lefty but that is most insightful and correct piece of analysis I have ever heard.

loislane1939 January 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm

I tried to watch part of it sober but my left eye started twitching. No idea what that was about.

itgetter January 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm

[re=220441]rocktonsammy[/re]: That’s Barry’s line, dammit

sarcasticusername January 15, 2009 at 8:21 pm

did someone really tell him it was a good idea to bring up katrina?!? amazing.

Bic January 15, 2009 at 8:21 pm

Sure he’s happy to be a citizen now, since he doesn’t have to be one under his presidency.

assistant/atlas January 15, 2009 at 8:22 pm

[re=220377]cal[/re]: I think that show is called “24″…

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO January 15, 2009 at 8:22 pm

rocktonsammy: No, he should have started with, “I’m sorry… really… really sorry.”

Tra January 15, 2009 at 8:23 pm

[re=220444]sk1win[/re]: Blink.

Did you just use Matthews, insightful and correct in a sentence?

ABitOfACommunist January 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm

[re=220444]sk1win[/re]: Hope that get’s you-tubed, for those of us without a teevee that are relying on online streams

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm

— Our air, land and water “are cleaner.” —
That line was supplied by the TVA. Clean Coal, Ameristan’s Futurization.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm

When he was elected president and leaving Texas he was told of the upcoming budget deficits and other problems facing the next governor. “I’m glad I won’t be around for that” he said. Same story 8 years later.

Dreamer January 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm

[re=220310]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Allah or Jesus doesn’t like the west coast. I don’t know why you people don’t get this point – all the fires and natural disasters should be a clear clue or something. At least that is what my religious nut client told me (not the Allah part).

sarcasticusername January 15, 2009 at 8:25 pm

@echoman2000: no she doesn’t. she may be drugged out of her mind, but i simply refuse to believe that she’s fucked up enough, to fuck that.

Cookie Guggelman January 15, 2009 at 8:25 pm

[re=220441]rocktonsammy[/re]: Maybe he thought he was going to get a laurel…and hardy handshake.

shortsshortsshorts January 15, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=220455]Dreamer[/re]: Strangely enough, that is what I dreamed about last night. GIT OUTTA MIE HEAD.

kingofnothing January 15, 2009 at 8:27 pm

The only thing he had a right to say was, “I fucked up. Please forgive me.”

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

Where’s the helicopter exit?

sk1win January 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

[re=220451]Tra[/re]: I did and stand by it. He could barely contain his hatred but he did and he made great points. If this was HBO, Matthews would still be spewing curse words.

katrina January 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm

What?! No Tennysen?!?
Wanker.

kingofnothing January 15, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Also, he has a lot of nerve thanking the American people for entrusting the presidency to him. We didn’t do that. He stole the fucking election!

OffTheRecord January 15, 2009 at 8:29 pm

Is it possible that Scott McClellan has gotten fatter?

Dreamer January 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm

[re=220375]EnBuenOra[/re]: Totally agree – his blathering angered me so much. Is he trying to tell us that he made things better? What a delusional fuckwit. I work with people who have serious mental illness and they are less delusional than him.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm

[re=220377]cal[/re]: “would”?

El Pinche January 15, 2009 at 8:31 pm

I felt a disturbance in the force. It’s as if someone said Matthews was insightful and correct and ment it.

Nerdalicious January 15, 2009 at 8:31 pm

Scott McClellen: It’s like listening to Charlie Brown’s teacher: “Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa” Haaaaaaaaaaaa!

MarvintheCat January 15, 2009 at 8:32 pm

Did I hear correctly that the first time he addressed the public as Preznit was after 9/11? WTF?

napalmnacey January 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm

Goodbye, mother-fucker. Don’t let the door hit ya where your good Lord split ya. Ahhh, it’s a good day.

InsidiousTuna January 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=220471]MarvintheCat[/re]: Directly from the White House, that is.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm

The CNN.com anchor said he’s going to Camp David over the weekend. Just gotta squeeze in that last vacation before retirement. No wonder this guy has a government job.

hrhkingfriday January 15, 2009 at 8:33 pm

[re=220310]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: here ill rub it in your face more. I SAW HOPEY TODAY! exiting the washington post. GAHHHHH! hopegasm.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm

[re=220471]MarvintheCat[/re]: That’s what I thought he said. Maybe he meant to say as ‘War President.’

echoman2000 January 15, 2009 at 8:35 pm

He looked like he’d been pissed on and missed, shit on and hit.

quoth teh Raven January 15, 2009 at 8:35 pm

Why does everything coming out of his mouth sound so penisy?

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Dreamer January 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=220459]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Did you also by any chance dream about Michelle Obama trying to entice you into sin? If so then see you next Tuesday.

FunkyPalmettoBug January 15, 2009 at 8:40 pm

Was Bush even living in the US during the Bush years?

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 8:40 pm

[re=220465]OffTheRecord[/re]: Since Bush operatives has stopped putting dioxin in borscht, his health has improved.

sarcasticusername January 15, 2009 at 8:40 pm

@sayitwithwookies: sigh, i shouldn’t be surprised but i am just a little. seriously, why doesn’t he just move out for good tonight and let hopey in already; it’s not like he hasn’t already been much more of a president in the last 2 months than W has been in 7.5 years.

chascates January 15, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Although this was bad enough it doesn’t stop here:
“Beck’s first guest on Fox: Palin\On Monday, just in time for Obama’s swearing in, Glenn Beck’s new 5 p.m. show will premiere on Fox. His first guest: Sarah Palin.”
from the always objective:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/michaelcalderone/0109/Becks_first_guest_on_Fox_Palin.html?showall

kingofnothing January 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm

“I would say only that if some of my judgments were wrong — and some were wrong — they were made in what I believed at the time to be the best interests of the nation.” — Richard Nixon, August 8, 1974

“There are things I would do differently if given the chance. Yet I have always acted with the best interests of our country in mind.” — George W. Bush, January 15, 2009

Nerdalicious January 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm

I saw a Documentary about Jimmy Carter. Prez Carter was so damn careful & afraid of losing just ONE young American life during the hostage crisis. Just terrified. Now here we have Shrubry & the at least 4,000 American lives lost. For what? Here is the difference between a Human Being & a Sociopath.

myheadsexploding January 15, 2009 at 8:47 pm

what an incredible non-event. like 10 minutes of dead air. that i’ll never get back. also.

rocktonsammy January 15, 2009 at 9:05 pm

[re=220489]Nerdalicious[/re]:

Or as Brad Goodman put it,”Is he a human being or a human doing?”

Thank God W is a human going.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 9:05 pm

[re=220377]cal[/re]: Nyet.
Dick is now living comfortably in Cheyenne (or maybe it’s La Paz) under the name Felix Dzerzhinsky.
But who would ever suspect?

4tehlulz January 15, 2009 at 9:10 pm

The only way this would have been worth anybody’s time is if W decided to do a Budd Dwyer.

Dreamer January 15, 2009 at 9:15 pm

I still ask myself how America voted for this moron for a second time. What were our fellow citizen’s thinking? I was actually thinking that he might admit to some mistakes but not this
psychopath.

kingofnothing January 15, 2009 at 9:16 pm

[re=220497]4tehlulz[/re]: But then Cheney would be president for 5 days, which is more than enough time to invade Iran, Syria, etc.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 9:16 pm

[re=220488]kingofnothing[/re]: Exhibit A.
George, a nice paraphrase from the transcript of the Neuremberg trials.
“I was only obeying mein own orders.”

turkey lurkey January 15, 2009 at 9:20 pm

We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want anymore bears!

Dr Tobias Funke January 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm

the birds are the real terrorists..first the paint on my car, now planes. we must kill all birds b4 they strike again. this means war!

President Beeblebrox January 15, 2009 at 9:29 pm

[re=220487]chascates[/re]: And thus begins 4 years of hearing from the only politician in US America who’s more inane than Bush.

2druk2phluq January 15, 2009 at 9:30 pm

Why won’t Bush just die, die?
Why won’t Bush just die, die?
Well all my friends, they died.

[re=220499]Dreamer[/re]: Most people are fucking ignorant. It can’t be blamed on schools or backgrounds or any of those things. It’s like this because most people are too lazy or just don’t care enough to educate themselves.

It’s amazing that to me that the GOP managed to blow their permanent majority with this populace, but even a retarded four year old understands the difference being hungry and being well fed. Bush has a history degree and forgot about the French Revolution. Bozo the clown returns to private life. So long, Dubya, you arrogant cocksucker.

Servo January 15, 2009 at 9:38 pm

He walks like he shit himself.

snideinplainsight January 15, 2009 at 9:45 pm

You people make me laugh so much I pee myself! I blame furries!

chalkgirl January 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm

I can’t believe this cunt is still trying to milk 9/11. Fuck him.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 9:54 pm

[re=220502]turkey lurkey[/re]: Add a negative to your first two sentences and you’ll have Warren’s invocation, also.
But that is what reaching a national consensus is all about.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 9:54 pm

Wow. I await with bated breath how Bono sees this all in his next excremental installment in NYT.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 9:59 pm

[re=220517]chalkgirl[/re]: When the mare goes dry, the next is the bull.
You may quote me.

Servo January 15, 2009 at 10:06 pm

I think I’ll design the Dubya Edition Monoploy game in his honor. You start by borrowing trillions…

eoberhauser January 15, 2009 at 10:11 pm

Bye!! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

wickedlittledoll January 15, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Talk about for the birds!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

dannygutters January 15, 2009 at 10:44 pm

can someone summarize this, I can’t even muster up the effort to read a liveblog of a bush presser.

Gustav6000 January 15, 2009 at 10:50 pm

I spit on his enzymes and amino acids.

kingofnothing January 15, 2009 at 10:54 pm

The consensus is that the world would be a better place if Bush 41 had never met Barbara.

Mr Blifil January 15, 2009 at 10:54 pm

Joke’s on Bush. Persona non grata at the biggest party of the century on Tuesday. Even by his sick sociopathic disaffected standards, that’s gotta hurt a little.

villageatrois January 15, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Over the past few years, several things are important: 1) With no disrespect to people with developmental disabilities, the word “Fucktard” is an important addition to our lexicon. 2) We must NEVER, Never, never, sign an extradition treaty with Paraguay. Since we won’t be able to extradite Paulson – Cheney – Bush 41 – Bush 43, etc. back here, we will just carpet-bomb Paraguay. OK? Wonkette Rule proposed: show of hands? 3) Timmy Geithner, and other Obama-appointed douchenozzles will be exported to Paraguay with Rodham Blagojevich, and others on a list that grows daily.

Hooray For Anything January 15, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Being on the west coast, I’m sorta sorry I missed the speech because I’ve dreaming of this moment for, ohhhh, about 8 years. I want to savor every moment of the door hitting his sorry ass.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 11:38 pm

[re=220522]S.Luggo[/re]: That’s beautiful.

Okay, this has probably been way done, but here’s one to add to the collection.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 11:38 pm

[re=220555]Hooray For Anything[/re]: You can relive GWB’s farewell speech through the Sundance enrty, “Mistakes Were Made”.

Jukesgrrl January 15, 2009 at 11:54 pm

I ate dinner while watching — a big piece of quiche. ‘Cause I’m an elitist. Anyone can drink.

lumpenprole January 16, 2009 at 12:19 am

Hopefully he’ll be remembered as George the Dog. Apparently, it works in several languages.

SayItWithWookies January 16, 2009 at 12:25 am

Obama may have skipped the speech — he was having dinner at Equinox.
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/01/15/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry4726147.shtml
I guess he didn’t order the sanctimony.

agitpropster January 16, 2009 at 12:32 am

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yeessssssssss.

Dieses schadenfreude glaubt recht verdammtes gutes, meine Wonkette Freunde! But it doesn’t feel as good as I thought it was going to. I’m tired of being so righteously fucking angry all the time…tired of arguing with ignorant Bitterz and Christards…tired of watching my friend’s formerly middle-class kids who, back in the day, would have bought their home and educations for their children with their blue-collar salaries. Now they can only be a.) meth cooks b.) Wal-Martards c.) prison guards or d.) have their Hummer blown out from under ‘em by an IED made from a US 155mm howitzer shell Rumsfeld sold Saddam in 1985.

Christ.

On the bright side, my 8-year-long fantasizing of beating Sean Hannity’s smug, racist face in with a 2 X 4 came to a halt on the afternoon of November 6th last. I set my DVR so that when I came home from work I could watch that cocksucker’s lying, sweaty, screwface twist and grimace as he was forced to read teh magic Negro incantation “President-Elect Obama” off the FAUX NEWS teleprompter. I swear ta Gawd I rewound it more times than Jasmine Rouge’s latest money shot. Hehengh..

My dear Wonkettes, I have pulled something out of the shameful video archive of the 2004 “election” so that you can jeer, hoot and throw shit with renewed vigor tonight.

Examine once more – if you have the stomach – the disgraced toadies, the fawning Bushite syncophants, the showboating transvestite Mayor, the rabid turncoat Georgia hayseed, WALNUTS!, the chortling Hollywood Austrian Nazi spawn , “Big” Dick Cheney and all the rest, chanting those obscene mantras ad nauseum while fat, deluded Repug fucktards cheer themselves hoarse.

They are singing a different tune now, by God.

It’s only a short, sweet little bit of C-Span editing called The 2004 RNC Convention in 90 Seconds..

Ah, the memories. It’s a hoot – and a half.

myheadsexploding January 16, 2009 at 1:16 am

[re=220584]agitpropster[/re]: It’s only a short, sweet little bit of C-Span editing called The 2004 RNC Convention in 90 Seconds..

terrists terrists terrists. on tuesday, the terrists are finally, officially OUT.

populucious January 16, 2009 at 1:34 am

“no one can question the results.”

This statement is making my brain melt, unless he’s saying that there’s no question that the results have been horrifying, appalling and wretched.

In which case, well, George, we’ve finally found a topic we can agree upon.

Lascauxcaveman January 16, 2009 at 2:05 am

[/buffing black heel marks off my LCD teevee]

wickedlittledoll January 16, 2009 at 2:27 am
Servo January 16, 2009 at 4:25 am

Good riddance, coward!

TGY January 16, 2009 at 5:02 am

A flaming bag of poo on the metaphorical doorstep of America: light and run

Barack Like Me, Bitches January 16, 2009 at 6:00 am

[re=220544]Mr Blifil[/re]: Better yet, as of 12:01 est, Tuesday, Our Fearless and Brazen Monkey Boy gets relegated to the dustbin of being nothing more, ever, than a Trivial Pursuit question, forever.

Also.

Downside to all this is that in a little over 100 hours I’m gonna have to give up the raging blind drunk I’ve been on for the last part of his Prezdinetting and straighten up and fly right.

Thats gonna suck, the greatest Hopey Hope I’ve got for the course of the next week is that the shakes won’t be so bad, and hopefully the DTs won’t be fatal.

JDHART January 16, 2009 at 7:52 am

Where to begin … Ok, I got it. That’s not pink eye — it’s the ass cancer everyone has wished upon him. No? All right then, 9-11, Freedom marches on, if you don’t do everything I say the terrorists win, 9-11, WMD, Bin Laden, Katrina, economy crash … Ah, whatever, just go already. Faster! Get out now! Live a long life with generous doses of daily misery and shame. GET OUT!

Say it with me, people, and say it every day: WORST PRESIDENT EVER!

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul January 16, 2009 at 8:09 am

As a non-English person I’ve always been wondering the name Campbell. What is the origin of that? Do you need a special bell in camping conditions? Why should anyone use that word as a name?

Then I looked at the Online Etymology Dictionary. And it’s all clear to me now: http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=Campbell

Folks at CNN are into people with family names as first names. Like Anderson Cooper & Campbell Brown. Why?

Oh, and goodbye, George.

RobPetrified January 16, 2009 at 8:21 am

All anyone can talk about today (and late night yesterday) is the mad skilz of ‘Sully’ Sullenberger, , the amazing pilot who crashed an airliner into the Hudson river and managed to do it so skillfully that no one died.
Speaking of plane crashes, didn’t Dumbya do something last night on the TV?
Does anybody care, today?

Cape Clod January 16, 2009 at 8:42 am

I couldn’t watch it without screaming ‘fuck you!’ whenever he finished a sentence. It actually made me quite deranged to watch that oblivious, self deluding cretin talk. That and the vodka.

freakishlystrong January 16, 2009 at 9:06 am

I gotta get it in, ciao, you fucking beady eyed creep…

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 16, 2009 at 9:12 am

[re=220632]Cape Clod[/re]: I actually missed the presser because I was at a commie pinko faggot Community Organizing meeting. But I still got to curse like I had Tourette’s at the rehash NPR so graciously provided this morning. It will be refreshing to have my regular vocabulary back. Oh, and Mitch McConnell can eat a bag of dicks too.

Crazybroad January 16, 2009 at 10:07 am

[re=220377]cal[/re]: Um, that’s scarier than 9/11. For real.

Cape Clod January 16, 2009 at 11:24 am

[re=220651]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I think the only thing that Charles Krauthammer has ever been right about is that there is such a thing as ‘Bush Derangement Syndrome’. What he still doesn’t realize is that it’s an entirely natural response to having to put up with this searingly incompetent ass-clown for the last eight years.

Zipperupus January 16, 2009 at 12:22 pm

The French had a point when it came to the guillotine.

Car Ramrod January 16, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Heckuva job, Bushie.

robanybody January 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm

After W’s exit speech, it’s clear what he’s planning to do after he leaves office. I just hope he knows that stand-up comedy is tough gig.

angrymommy January 16, 2009 at 11:22 pm

he spoke for 14 minutes , just long enough for Cheney to tie up Rich Gannon for one last tryst in front of the roaring fire containing the secrets in Cheney’s man-sized safe….

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