HISTORICAL MOMENTS  2:30 pm January 15, 2009

Roland Burris Adds New Honor To His Tomb

by Ken Layne

Rod Blagojevich for the win! The comedy continues, as smirking creep Dick Cheney swears in megalomaniacal Death Monument-builder Roland Burris. This marks the end of racism and the Triumph of the Black Spirit. [AP]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


american mutt January 15, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Call this an unfair generalization but old black folks are no good at nothing. yes. i said that.

tiny mexican January 15, 2009 at 2:36 pm

God damn it Rod Blagojevich, you really are the man.

JeffGoldblum January 15, 2009 at 2:36 pm

So when does Blagojevich get sworn in as Secretary of Nailin’ Hot Broads?

Colander January 15, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Yes! MLK must be doing the tootsie roll in heaven right now. I can’t wait to rub this in my Jew neighbor’s face.

ManchuCandidate January 15, 2009 at 2:39 pm

What is going to be added?


Scarab January 15, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Looking at the image at the beginning of the video I was hoping it was a clip of Burris bitch-slapping Cheney.

SayItWithWookies January 15, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=219732]american mutt[/re]: Good lord — he was appointed by Blagojevich and sworn in by Cheney — hasn’t the man suffered enough?

Vercingatorix January 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Reid…. you fuckin pussy.

Serolf Divad January 15, 2009 at 2:42 pm

If Burris had a shred of self-respect he would have made a black-power fist at the end there.

Servo January 15, 2009 at 2:43 pm

The phony mosquito swat that leaves a bruise.

President Beeblebrox January 15, 2009 at 2:43 pm

The problem is that he won’t be able to carve “* U.S. Senator” under the “TRAIL BLAZER FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN IN ILLINOIS TO BECOME:” heading of his big luxury tomb because, well, he ain’t. Guess this will have to go under the “OTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS” part of the tomb.

Damn, it’s a stone resume.

Gopherit January 15, 2009 at 2:43 pm

This is the ultimate result of the sternly-worded memo theory of governance.

CollegeStudent January 15, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Who was the white guy following him around and standing behind him? Was that Dick Durbin or Blagojevich’s Taint?

Serolf Divad January 15, 2009 at 2:49 pm

[re=219750]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

He’s probably the first appointed black Senator, though. That should count for something.

dannygutters January 15, 2009 at 2:50 pm

How hilarious would it have been if he had etched his appointment into the tomb before this.

Reefpilot January 15, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Wonkette, this overt racism needs to stop. The PUMAs may enjoy it when they’re not talking about farts or inadequate black males, but you’re making the black jesus cry.

MattW January 15, 2009 at 2:51 pm

[re=219750]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Hopefully it includes how many words he can carve per minute.

cal January 15, 2009 at 2:51 pm

So then racism must be over?

Noodle Salad January 15, 2009 at 2:51 pm

I’m beginning to think I should appoint myself the new Senator from Nevada. Harry Reid will surrender faster than a French Draftee.

S.Luggo January 15, 2009 at 2:52 pm

how do you like your browneyed boy
Mister Blago

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 2:55 pm

The least he could do in thanks for personal Dick ceremony is make room in the crypt for Cheney’s much deserved and long overdue dirt nap.

JeffGoldblum January 15, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=219763]Noodle Salad[/re]: I know you didn’t just slander the French… TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST SLANDER THE FRENCH

shanemacgowan January 15, 2009 at 2:57 pm

I still don’t understand why this is viewed as such a major victory for Blagojevich. Getting Roland Burris sworn into the Senate will not keep him out of jail.

LittlePig January 15, 2009 at 2:57 pm

I like what Jon Stewart photoshopped on it: “World’s Smallest Penis”.

wickedlittledoll January 15, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Neon Trotsky January 15, 2009 at 3:03 pm

There is a reason why Burris wasn’t more animated and joyous–Dick Durbin mouthbreathing on one’s neck is enough to strike fear into the heart of even the bravest person…

rambone January 15, 2009 at 3:06 pm

This is a proud day for middling individuals everywhere.

shortsshortsshorts January 15, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Oh Jesus, all snark aside. I mean what Blago did was bad and all, but a black guy in the Senate?
Strom Thurmond does not approve.

Mahousu January 15, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=219778]rambone[/re]: Indeed. For the first time in my life, I am proud of my country.

Kwame' January 15, 2009 at 3:10 pm

I think hieroglyphics are in order now.

jetjaguar January 15, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Wow, that two whole minutes of racism being over was awesome.

President Beeblebrox January 15, 2009 at 3:15 pm

I’m waiting for teh Wonkettes to post something about Joe Biden’s farewell speech. He was supposed to start at 10am, so he should be wrapping up just about now, God love ‘im.

Noodle Salad January 15, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=219770]JeffGoldblum[/re]: What does it say when comparing a lowly French draftee to our Senate Majority leader is an insult to the French? Bravo, Reid. I owe an apology to the French military. Harry owes an apology to the universe.

Bruno January 15, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Haha, Barry is so screwed! He let this bozo get sworn into his senate seat, days before he is ruled as an UNNATURAL BORNE CITIZEN OF MUZZIE AND AFRICANOINDONESIO EVIL.

Jukesgrrl January 15, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=219750]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I don’t think it’s going to go on either tablet. I think he’s going to add an additional piece of marble above the word “Burris” that says, “United States Senator.” His family is probably now meeting with cemetery management to negotiate the addition of neon.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 15, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=219778]rambone[/re]: This is a proud day for TAINTS everywhere.

There. Fixed that for you.

bitchincamaro January 15, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=219790]Jukesgrrl[/re]: That tombstone deserves to be Blingee’d, fo’ sho’. Anybody?

loudmouthredhead January 15, 2009 at 3:34 pm

“First black senator of IL with a white taint”?
I’d call that a classy memorial.

pdiddycornchips January 15, 2009 at 3:50 pm


Blago ain’t going to jail. The whole thing will blow over soon because Blago will resign his post to become the fifth judge on American Idol. Those trips to hollywood are valuable fucking things, why should he give it away?

problemwithcaring January 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=219771]shanemacgowan[/re]: Srsly. Where is the medal for dick slapping Harry Reid in the face?

TGY January 15, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Great, now please put Blago away for 3 eons + life for being a disgrace to the human race.

jetjaguar January 15, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Jukesgrrl January 15, 2009 at 4:20 pm

[re=219888]jetjaguar[/re]: When you go see that tomb and it actually DOES have a disco ball on it, you sue his ass. You were there first; I’ll be your witness.

josereyes.theroof January 15, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Egomaniac? That’s the Senate, & Bill Frist was first among equals (heart surgeon and Senator? Insufferable!).

BlueOx January 15, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Roland Burris gets sworn in, and planes fall from the sky. You do the math. While you’re doing the math, I will be tucked away in my panic room.

villageatrois January 16, 2009 at 12:16 am

Fuk yez, Wonkers! Roland Burris has been a good guy for a long time. If he would add a graphic to his crypt that said, “A – Phi – A” and “Blago-Muerto”, would you be happy?

And also — you can’t dance worth a shit.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: