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HISTORICAL MOMENTS

Roland Burris Adds New Honor To His Tomb


Rod Blagojevich for the win! The comedy continues, as smirking creep Dick Cheney swears in megalomaniacal Death Monument-builder Roland Burris. This marks the end of racism and the Triumph of the Black Spirit. [AP]


2:30 PM on Thu January 15 2009
By Ken Layne
1358 Views

  1. american mutt says at 2:32 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Call this an unfair generalization but old black folks are no good at nothing. yes. i said that.

  2. tiny mexican says at 2:36 pm, January 15th, 2009

    God damn it Rod Blagojevich, you really are the man.

  3. JeffGoldblum says at 2:36 pm, January 15th, 2009

    So when does Blagojevich get sworn in as Secretary of Nailin’ Hot Broads?

  4. Colander says at 2:39 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Yes! MLK must be doing the tootsie roll in heaven right now. I can’t wait to rub this in my Jew neighbor’s face.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 2:39 pm, January 15th, 2009

    What is going to be added?

    “TAINT”?

  6. Looking at the image at the beginning of the video I was hoping it was a clip of Burris bitch-slapping Cheney.

  7. SayItWithWookies says at 2:40 pm, January 15th, 2009

    american mutt: Good lord — he was appointed by Blagojevich and sworn in by Cheney — hasn’t the man suffered enough?

  8. Vercingatorix says at 2:41 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Reid…. you fuckin pussy.

  9. Serolf Divad says at 2:42 pm, January 15th, 2009

    If Burris had a shred of self-respect he would have made a black-power fist at the end there.

  10. Scarab:
    The phony mosquito swat that leaves a bruise.

  11. President Beeblebrox says at 2:43 pm, January 15th, 2009

    The problem is that he won’t be able to carve “* U.S. Senator” under the “TRAIL BLAZER FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN IN ILLINOIS TO BECOME:” heading of his big luxury tomb because, well, he ain’t. Guess this will have to go under the “OTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS” part of the tomb.

    Damn, it’s a stone resume.

  12. Gopherit says at 2:43 pm, January 15th, 2009

    This is the ultimate result of the sternly-worded memo theory of governance.

  13. CollegeStudent says at 2:48 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Who was the white guy following him around and standing behind him? Was that Dick Durbin or Blagojevich’s Taint?

  14. Serolf Divad says at 2:49 pm, January 15th, 2009

    President Beeblebrox:

    He’s probably the first appointed black Senator, though. That should count for something.

  15. dannygutters says at 2:50 pm, January 15th, 2009

    How hilarious would it have been if he had etched his appointment into the tomb before this.

  16. Reefpilot says at 2:51 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Wonkette, this overt racism needs to stop. The PUMAs may enjoy it when they’re not talking about farts or inadequate black males, but you’re making the black jesus cry.

  17. President Beeblebrox: Hopefully it includes how many words he can carve per minute.

  18. So then racism must be over?

  19. Noodle Salad says at 2:51 pm, January 15th, 2009

    I’m beginning to think I should appoint myself the new Senator from Nevada. Harry Reid will surrender faster than a French Draftee.

  20. how do you like your browneyed boy
    Mister Blago

  21. bitchincamaro says at 2:55 pm, January 15th, 2009

    The least he could do in thanks for personal Dick ceremony is make room in the crypt for Cheney’s much deserved and long overdue dirt nap.

  22. JeffGoldblum says at 2:56 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Noodle Salad: I know you didn’t just slander the French… TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST SLANDER THE FRENCH

  23. shanemacgowan says at 2:57 pm, January 15th, 2009

    I still don’t understand why this is viewed as such a major victory for Blagojevich. Getting Roland Burris sworn into the Senate will not keep him out of jail.

  24. LittlePig says at 2:57 pm, January 15th, 2009

    I like what Jon Stewart photoshopped on it: “World’s Smallest Penis”.

  25. wickedlittledoll says at 3:01 pm, January 15th, 2009
  26. Neon Trotsky says at 3:03 pm, January 15th, 2009

    There is a reason why Burris wasn’t more animated and joyous–Dick Durbin mouthbreathing on one’s neck is enough to strike fear into the heart of even the bravest person…

  27. This is a proud day for middling individuals everywhere.

  28. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:08 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Oh Jesus, all snark aside. I mean what Blago did was bad and all, but a black guy in the Senate?
    Strom Thurmond does not approve.

  29. rambone: Indeed. For the first time in my life, I am proud of my country.

  30. I think hieroglyphics are in order now.

  31. jetjaguar says at 3:14 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Wow, that two whole minutes of racism being over was awesome.

  32. President Beeblebrox says at 3:15 pm, January 15th, 2009

    I’m waiting for teh Wonkettes to post something about Joe Biden’s farewell speech. He was supposed to start at 10am, so he should be wrapping up just about now, God love ‘im.

  33. Noodle Salad says at 3:16 pm, January 15th, 2009

    JeffGoldblum: What does it say when comparing a lowly French draftee to our Senate Majority leader is an insult to the French? Bravo, Reid. I owe an apology to the French military. Harry owes an apology to the universe.

  34. Haha, Barry is so screwed! He let this bozo get sworn into his senate seat, days before he is ruled as an UNNATURAL BORNE CITIZEN OF MUZZIE AND AFRICANOINDONESIO EVIL.

  35. Jukesgrrl says at 3:17 pm, January 15th, 2009

    President Beeblebrox: I don’t think it’s going to go on either tablet. I think he’s going to add an additional piece of marble above the word “Burris” that says, “United States Senator.” His family is probably now meeting with cemetery management to negotiate the addition of neon.

  36. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 3:19 pm, January 15th, 2009

    rambone: This is a proud day for TAINTS everywhere.

    There. Fixed that for you.

  37. bitchincamaro says at 3:24 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Jukesgrrl: That tombstone deserves to be Blingee’d, fo’ sho’. Anybody?

  38. loudmouthredhead says at 3:34 pm, January 15th, 2009

    “First black senator of IL with a white taint”?
    I’d call that a classy memorial.

  39. pdiddycornchips says at 3:50 pm, January 15th, 2009

    shanemacgowan:

    Blago ain’t going to jail. The whole thing will blow over soon because Blago will resign his post to become the fifth judge on American Idol. Those trips to hollywood are valuable fucking things, why should he give it away?

  40. problemwithcaring says at 3:56 pm, January 15th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: Srsly. Where is the medal for dick slapping Harry Reid in the face?

  41. Great, now please put Blago away for 3 eons + life for being a disgrace to the human race.

  42. jetjaguar says at 4:04 pm, January 15th, 2009
  43. Jukesgrrl says at 4:20 pm, January 15th, 2009

    jetjaguar: When you go see that tomb and it actually DOES have a disco ball on it, you sue his ass. You were there first; I’ll be your witness.

  44. josereyes.theroof says at 5:42 pm, January 15th, 2009

    Egomaniac? That’s the Senate, & Bill Frist was first among equals (heart surgeon and Senator? Insufferable!).

  45. Roland Burris gets sworn in, and planes fall from the sky. You do the math. While you’re doing the math, I will be tucked away in my panic room.

  46. villageatrois says at 12:16 am, January 16th, 2009

    Fuk yez, Wonkers! Roland Burris has been a good guy for a long time. If he would add a graphic to his crypt that said, “A - Phi - A” and “Blago-Muerto”, would you be happy?

    And also — you can’t dance worth a shit.

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