Wonkette
Hey wait a minute! You mean this Barack Obama, who was fairly liberal as an Illinois state senator, may have altered his position on such hot-button topics as gay marriage in order to become a more viable national candidate? It sounds crazy, but it just might be true!
Way back in 1996, when he was a lowly state senatorial candidate with a wife who wore unfortunate leggings, he sent a big long statement to Chicago’s Windy City Times outlining his big fat liberal beliefs about various issues of concern to the gay community. And he said this:
“I favor legalizing same-sex marriages, and would fight efforts to prohibit such marriages.”
ZOMGWTF!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!
More recently, like last week, Obama’s spokesman Robert Gibbs says he will also end the military’s dumb rule where they don’t allow the gays to enlist and they fire all the linguists who speak Arabic, because of their gayness. (These exciting changes will have to wait a bit until he has fixed the economy, though.)
So what does this all mean for you, the gays of America? That your suspicion that Barack Obama kind of pussyfoots around the gay marriage issue for strategic rather than moral reasons is correct, and also soon you will be able to go to war along with the obese not-very-smart high-school dropouts the Army currently accepts.
Obama changed views on gay marriage [Windy City Times]
Mittens referred to it as “evolution.”
Does this mean the army can stop enlisting fatties?
What a homotard.
He changed his mind when he realized that supporting gay marriage would make us more likely to get hit by a meteor.
I knew that, as president, Obama’s penis would eventually be in my anus, but now it sounds like it might not necessarily be a bad thing.
Can Charlie Crist get an anullment now?
…the awesome thing about gays in the military, is Republicans will no longer have a reason for not serving!
Does this mean that Charlie Crist gets to shoot Arabs in the Iraq?
This ought to be great bloody sux to anybody who thought he was an observant Muslin back then.
…finally the last prophecy of “The Village People” has come true!
WadISay: Hiz dezk yoos’d 2 fase Mekka, allso.
No more clandestine buttsecks with Rick Warren for you, Barry!
AngryBlakGuy: looking forward to Hopey in that motorcycle cop outfit… hawtt!
I get it. Barry is a genius. He “fights efforts to prohibit such marriages” by saying repeatedly that he is against gay marriage completley, so that by the time he invites a gay bishop to brunch, it looks like culture jihad. Learn from him, buttsecks grasshoppers.
When I’m preznit, I will outlaw all marriages, as they are the stoopid. Suck on it, gheys.
All well and good, but I won’t be happy until there’s an authentic Brazilian transsexual in the cabinet.
“Yeah, I was in Afghanistan. A Gay Beret.”
magic titty: I agree, 10000000000000%. Ban the institution of marriage.
And Christianity, also.
shanemacgowan:
Does Mitten’s form of evolution result in each man ruling over his own planet with his many wives and children gazing adoringly at him?
So, you’re saying he’s a politician?
Come on, Barry. If Brokeback taught us anything, it’s that you can’t take the gay seduction all slow and gentle-like. Some time you just gotta flip your willing bottom on his back like a turtle and hatefuck him ’til the sheep come home. Come now, B.O., make the American electorate your Jack Twist.
Apparently Barack Obama was for change before he was against it.
magic titty: shortsshortsshorts: I move for a ban on “easy listening” music because it isn’t really easy listening at all. And it’s barely even music.
Then why is Rick Warren included in the inauguration (the INAUGURATION!!!)?
Terry: Yeah, you’d think that Utah would be very reluctant to invite scrutiny of marriages, or child rape as we call it in the outer forty-nine.
A man who patterns himself after Lincoln cannot ignore the principal human rights issue of our day.
the principal human rights issue of the day is not fucking gay marriage. global economic inequality takes that particular shit-frosted cake.
Servo: Well, if you ask most of the Army, they think the beret is gay in general. If they make the announcement it will make for great wingnut radio. WAVA will go non-linear.
Purple Tide: Heritic.
Ever since 2003, I wanted to get geigh married and die in the middle east, and now I can do both! I wonder which I’ll try first…
Haha, I’m 27 bitches! Good luck drafting this crusty old gay.
omg i knew it, larry sinclair was right! obviously barry is a self-loathing gay dude; who hides behind religion, because if he openly supported gay marriage then obviously people would figure out that he secretly wanted to marry larry or was it that choir guy boyfriend of his that he had killed. whatever, it all make so much sense now; must go out and buy larry sinclair’s book so i can read his detailed description of hopey’s unicorn horn, and you know more importantly support the cause of revealing the truth about hopey’s evil political empire and his true citizenship.
ALL marriage is gay. Carry on.
Purple Tide: More like Jack Nasty…
SayItWithWookies: A meteor of fabulousness!
Welcome to American Politics 101. I guarantee that 80% of Republican politicians could give two shits about gay marriage except as a wedge issue that garners them votes. In judging these guys you’ve got to go by their actions rather than by their rhetoric. The next 8 years will allow us to judge where Barry’s heart really lies. I’m hoping he helps move the country in the right direction.
AngryBlakGuy: If only cub scouts could serve. BEST. PLATOON. EVER!
Yay! Gays get to participate in America’s two most despised institutions: marriage and the military!
2010 prediction: Larry Craig joins the militia; marries Elton John.
Just got my swearing in ticket. It is for the Silver Area- which is just in front of the unwashed mob area.
Lips is lips.
Speaking of sexism and buttplugs, Our Sarah Palin will be a no show at yet another Obama dinner to tribute the Mac’s “honor”. Obama is wining, dining, and 69ing DC.
Hey, maybe the gay and lesbian marching band in the inauguration parade could be followed by a big gay wedding cake float.
AfghanVet:
Especially when the berets are worn with the S&M jump boots.
Maybe he’ll promote gay marriage as part of the stimulus package. Think of the money injection of all those fabulous weddings.
I am tired of the gheyz and the marriage. If they want to submit to an institution that is not democratic at all, then I say shortshortshorts becomes El Presidente for Life of the Gaylifornian Republic. Submit to your new leader! And burn your square knit ties. For freedom!
Terry: While wearing their Special Underwear.
How terribly surprising that supporting the gays goes on the back burner when Hopey cooks with ambition!
Seriously though, why is anyone shocked? The HRC throws the trannies under a bus regularly and they’re allegedly the gayest gays in gaydom.
The problem with gays gaining the sacred institution of marriage is that every time a gay couple gets married, a hetero couple has to get divorced. Right? Isn’t that how it works? They said so on Fox.
sossajes: cunvenshunal whizdom on poseteng:
sober = serious and boring
schnockered = snarky and fun
it’s your choice…
El Pinche: Probably for the best, she would be that type would ask for a Bud Light when they only had microbrews, and when the bartender informs her of this, she gives him a look of shock and disgust. True story.
sossajes: And, “the” HRC (Human Rights Campaign for the non-homos) does not (anymore) throw the trannies under the bus - the trannies do it themselves now.
El Pinche: thank you for giving me a new name for my riotttt grrrrl band: Sexism and Buttplugs. Misogyny and Tampons just didn’t have a very good ring to it…
I say let teh gheys into the military–we have already seen their potential might when Key Westers fought and won independence as the Conch Republic…
Trannies with guns!
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/01/homosexuals-may-soon-be-able-to-die-for_15.html
Sounds like fuckin Levi has another fuckin job option.
AngryBlakGuy: A thoughtful, cogent and well-reasoned observation. Pie for everybody!