Wonkette
Oh jesus this is the cutest thing in the world. Our hairy-legged neighbors to the north are putting together a collection of songs for Barack Obama as a way of saying, “Would you like to come over and we can watch movies in my basement?” This thoughtful gift shall represent the very essence of Canada, distilled into 49 beautiful songs about being polite, speaking passable French, and having depressoid sex under a pile of blankets 10 months of every year. In other words, it will be 49 songs by Rush. But which 49? You are urged to pick your “favourite” ones here. [CBC Radio]
“The Trees” by Rush, natch!
There is no emoticon invented for the level of embarrassment I feel to be from Canada City at this moment.
What no “New Orleans is Sinking” and “Blowing High Dough” from the Tragically Hip?
Wow. All those songs suck.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
How could you not vote for Leonard Cohen “Democracy”?
Sara, your experience with Rush must be limited to the songs Rivendell and 2112. What you just described is so obviously Ann Murray it’s not funny. At least Rush left their quasi-Ayn Rand stage a while ago after Neil Peart discovered teh Buddah.
What about Anne Murray? Doesn’t she epitomize cutting edge Canadian music?
…”We in the White House” by Rick Ross!
Didn’t those charming Ontario lads, The Barenaked Ladies, one record a catchy little ditty called “If I Had 850 Billion Dollars”?
That one would be pretty appropriate, at this time.
After the Canadians get Obama in their basement, they will sacrifice him to the Snow Gods and taxiderm the carcass and put it over their bar with their many hockey trophies.
They specifically broke it up into 4 categories sothat Rush will only win one.
Do they have a government yet? Whatever happened to that brief moment when we all paid attention to Canada’s politics?
I voted for the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald because it’s so darn cheerful.
“North American Scum”!
There wasn’t enough Anne Murray on the list.
No Bruce Cockburn, what’s up with that? And why isn’t Leonard Cohen in with the other Quebec artists?–RACIST!
If there’s any Celene Dion on it, Obama should send their damn mix tape back to them with a note to get a life.
How ’bout “Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere” by Neil Young. Oh, and another great Canadian hit would be Shatner’s rendition of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Yeah, Canadia hates me.
THE WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD! YES.
I’m torn between “The Hockey Song” and “Canada’s Really Big” by the Arrogant Worms.
(though, Raise a Little Hell is good, too)
I for one would bow to our new Canadian overlords but will wait until I am sure Charlie Crist is not running first.
Acadian Driftwood? American Woman? What are they trying to tell us?
Terry: Seriously, of all the perfectly fine pop tunes that Gordo recorded, they pick the one about a big freighter going down with all hands. Yay, CBC.
“Snowbird”?? Wrong, surely they ment“You Needed Me”…the quintessential lesbianic Murray.
Hmmm. Toronto and Montreal are south of the 49 parallel. Rush and Celine Dion should be DQ’d.
…since they are making mix tapes for us does this mean we are dating now?
hockeymom: I was going to make a joke about “The Hockey Song” and then I saw it was actually on the list. Then I voted for it.
The Wreck of the Patrick Fitzgerald
Lascauxcaveman: WIN
Nothing from Pascal Dufour? How aboot “L’homme-grenouille,” eh?
All Quebecois rock, all the time.
“Frère Harper”
Oh ya, Gaye DeLorme’s The Rodeo Song would be a great gift from our maple syrup friends to the north (for the NSFW version that was great to drink (lots of) beer with).
I haz a sad for Canada. I can smell the sweaty stench of their humiliation drifting south of the border.
I take no crap from ANYONE dissing the country that gave us Shania Twain. Until she gets a few more years on her and then the hell with her.
tunamelt: Terry: Not as cheerful as Gord’s song “Alberta Bound.” It’s the only song in the history of mankind that comes up with a rhyme for “Toronto.” It’s also possibly the lamest song EVAR.
Oh, the skyline of Toronto
Is something you’ll get onto
But they say you’ve got to live there for a while
And if you got the money
You can get yourself a honey
A written guarantee to make you smile
But it’s snowing in the city
And the streets are brown and gritty
And I know there’s pretty girls all over town
But they never seem to find me
And the one I left behind me
Is the reason that I’ll be Alberta bound.
Sara - you say “49 songs by Rush” as if it were a bad thing -
shanemacgowan: I KNOW! I looked at that and said Whut? I mean Eh? You can’t trust those Canadians and their Trojan Horse tape of I hate freedom songs. Watch out President Obama! Remember they are all French up there. I’m surprised they didn’t include Le Marseillaise.
Whoa, SKS misspelled Canada as “Canda”. I make that typo every time (it took me like 3 tries to spell it correctly just now) and until now I had never seen anyone else do it.
CLEARLY WE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.
The list is crap because every song is in the BPM range of 90-130. When I think of Canada, I think of Venetian Snares.
El Pinche: I thought k.d. lang was the official lesbianic singer of Canada.
hockeymom: They totally neglected the Arrogant Worms’ “The War of 1812″, but that might for the best.
This is unnecessary. Obama’s zune is probably already filled up with Stompin’ Tom Connors songs.
Canada,
We’re just not that into you.
-America
Does Obama really need a CD full of Anne Murray, that “Take Off” song by the MacKenzie Brothers featuring Geddy Lee, and Alanis’ greatest hits? It’s going in the dumpster next to the casserole Lieberman baked Barry. Just send a Kids in the Hall DVD and hope for the best.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I’m happy to see “Superman’s Song” by the crash test dummies.
Also.
I was hoping to find anything from the cult Hamilton Punk Band, Day Glo Abortions.
Barrett’s Privateers!
La complainte du phoque en Alaska - Beau Dommage
I believe this roughly translates to “Complaints about that Fucking Twit Governor in Alaska”
So vote for it!
Miller: I’ll take it if he doesn’t want it.
Um, for my cats. Yeah.
Wonkette for shame, you were supposed to make the prefunctory “sex in a canoe” joke.
EXAMPLE: and having depressoid sex under a pile of blankets 10 months of every year. But it’s OK they have sex in a canoe the other 2 months.
If you want to confrim this note that when googling anything Canada oriented the -Beer flag is usually necessary to get to the info you want. Unless what you want is Canadian beer oriented.
WHERE IS LOVERBOY? C’mon, Everybody’s Workin’ for the Weekend is a hopey worker’s anthem if ever there was one…
Lascauxcaveman: HEY! Don’t be dissing Gordo’s song! I live on the shore of the big lake they call Gitchigumee (and its effin COLD up here! -18 with -48 windchill at the moment. Wait. What was my point? I can’t think. My brain fluid is frozen). When “The Edmund Fitzgerald” is played on a jukebox, we are required to hang our heads and cry and our tears freeze and drop onto our frozen beer.
AngryBlakGuy:
Yahoo!
First date anal…but no kissing on the mouth!
El Pinche: What Obama needs from Canada is a CD full of dub renditions of Black Sabbath songs. This version of Electric funeral in the Lincoln limo on the morning drive to the whitehouse is a good way to start your day.
I would have voted for Arcade Fire, but I don’t want Obama to start cutting himself.
CUB CUB CUB CUB CUB CUB CUB CUB CUB. COME ON, CANADA, Cub is the only decent band you’ve given the world since Neil Young. (The Arcade Fire would be OK if they weren’t such twits).
I really love Rush, but I wouldn’t impose them on anyone unwillingly.
How about the Hard Core Logo soundtrack? And I second “Take Off” by the Mackenzie brothers.
Am I blind, or is Alanis not on that list? I hate her, but she’s gotta be the most successful canadian recording artist of the 90s, how soon oui forget. Sad.
OK, wonkette I know what 69 refers to, what is 49?
Mustang: I’m surprised they didn’t include “Ohio” or “The Needle and the Damage Done.”
Frankly, I’d rather see this Crash Test Dummies song, about a kid who likes to get his teeth pulled out. Because that’s kind of a metaphor for the Democratic Party sometimes. Also.
And why no Triumph?
or April Wine?
space stout: Mike Reno died in a headband incident after recording Almost Paradise with that Wilson chick from Heart. Who, like Canada, has a big backyard.
The website is inexplicably blocked by my work firewall, so I can’t see the list. Someone please tell me if they’ve reserved “You Oughtta Know” for W’s break-up mix tape!
Paul Tardy:
It’s not a Canada City only sex position.
49 refers to the 49th Parallel which was the agreed upon border between Western Canada City and the US America.
Its time to close the border since Neil Young doesn’t live there anymore.
ManchuCandidate: I thought it referred to a “do me, and I owe you twenty” proposition.
Godot: Jesus, what am I NOT misspelling today. Anyway yes, obviously we are destined for ONENESS.
i believe you’re looking for B.J. Snowden’s seminal “In Canada”.
Why not 51 for that official 51st state status?
I figured 49 was a hint that Canada would like to join the union as the 49th state. Assuming we boot out the old 49th state, this is fine by me.
No Robin Sparkles? I’m confused now.
ManchuCandidate: That was after the U.S. Americans tried to do MOAR invasions of Canada City, not being content to get demolished in the Revolutionary War, and got their butts kicked, Iraq-style, in places like Lundy’s Lane and Queenston Heights.
“It’s the only song in the history of mankind that comes up with a rhyme for “Toronto.””
Well, that needs fixing right as soon as possible.
How about:
My beautiful Toronto,
street never wandered by Tonto…..
or
Toronto, Toronto,
will you embrace Esperanto?
or
?
The BF and I love to listen to Motorhead’s “Bomber” when we’re feeling Hopetardish, because it sounds like they’re singing “It’s Obama, it’s Obama, it’s Obama” in the chorus. They’re British, not Canadian, but who gives a fuck, they’re all the same thing right?
I’m usually quite pleased with the fact that I live in Canada. Today, however, I am mortified.
I’d better go improve my spirits with a delicious, big, artery-hardening poutine.
President Beeblebrox:
Forgot to mention the torching of DC and the White House in revenge for US America burned down York aka Toronto (which is still considered a good thing by non Toronto Canada City folks.)
Oh the shame of being Canadian…
Not only I have to endure Celine Dion’s jokes and now this…
Come on…. so not fair.
Hello? Trooper? “Raise a Little Hell?” H.E.L.L.O.?
And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones to start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart
Ha ha, One Great City! from Winnipeglians The Weakerthans made the cut. It contains hate speech against Winnipeg. Vote for it now, won’t you?
For Québec, go with Pierre LaPointe or Malajube.
Back to “Blame Canada!”
Joni Mitchell, perhaps?
ManchuCandidate: Argh! Fuck! Kill!
Anyway, I voted for Teh Parachute Club because “Have Not Been the Same” by Slow was nowhere to be found.
An oldies station around here used to play an Andy Williams song called “Weekend In Canada” that was the most unintentionally hilarious song on Earth.
As a Canadian, I can say that is the most frightening collection of blandness every brought together in one place.
CBC, you’ve outdone yourself.
Paul Tardy: And this is why we should have make a reading list instead.
lada_sue: Definitely the velvety-voiced, melancholy crooner Pierre Lapointe.
What about this fuckin guy? What? Living between a KFC and strip club not Canadian enough for you?! This list is obviously sexist.
Who the fuck are all those people?
ManchuCandidate: The next thing that will happen is Canada City will invade US America again to open Real Canadian Superstores next to every Wal-Mart in the land to economically dominate US America in retaliation for the Battle of Baltimore and that silly US America anthem/British drinking song.
Don’t switch the blade
On the guy in shades, oh-no!
Don’t masquerade
With the guy in shades, oh-no!
I can’t believe it
‘Cause you got it made
With the guy in shades, oh-no!
El Pinche: My gawd. That’s Joe the Rapper, renaissance plumber. My admiration grows.
This is like Regis and Kelly picked out USAmerica’s great hits. In Alabama, we get way better Québecois stuff off XM — even the Malajube song isn’t necessarily their best.
Don’t mean to be so confrontational. It’s just the maple syrup talking.
OK, so Sara–you’re covering for everybody else this morning aren’t you? Where are they–something gay friendly & involving pork, I’ll bet.
Also: Free Will, Red Barchetta, 2112–there’s all sorts of good stuff. I got to co my first serious feels of you wymen folk to 2112–c’mon, show the love.
& Johnny–The Trees dopes rock pretty hard, but it’s a little too libertarian/harrison bergeron-y for my taste.
all celine, all the time! that tape would surely destroy u.s./canada relations and ensure that barry never goes to canada ever again; in fact he’ll make sarah palin ambassador to canada just for some extra cruel and unusual punishment.
Could we somehow sneak Rick Astley’s epic ballad “Never Gonna Give You Up”? Please?!? Canadian or not (NOT), why not Rick roll El Presidente?
“Flip, Flop, Fly?” Surely they meant “Fap Fap Fap.”
When I saw “Rush” my first thought was “Rush Limbaugh is a musician?” I feel ashamed.
No Rufus Wainwright= CBC are homophobes.
Jesus Tapping Christ! I’ve spent one filthy night on George Street and I could put together a better play list than this. Only one song by Great Big Sea??? WTF.
No Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet?!
Nigerian Business Executive: Tough call. They’ve chosen my least favorite song that Pierre Lapointe album. Very Hawaii Five-O, for some reason. And then there’s the video of it where he’s riding Tron motorbikes, for some reason.
Somehow, I like the idea of Obama listening to the shrieking french-canadian Queen sounds of Malajube.
Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool: headband incident! HA! fuckin’ EH!
as for the list… whatT!?! no Spoons? no Rough Trade? no Platinum Blonde? no The Box?!
fuck the CEEB. luckily I was just putting together my own Canadian early 80s mix-tape and I can step up to fill the void. Barry, call me.
Best graffito ever — circa 1980 in a bar in Lubbock, Texas — “So, what will it be: pea soup or Canada?”
What indeed?
Everything ever recorded by Joey Shithead and D.O.A. from Vancouver, especially their early ’80s hits.
Mustang: You’ve got it. Canada does, in fact, “hate our freedom” ™
That’s why they sent us curling.
BadKitty: Swell! Good times.
(I actually like the song, and can even play it on my guitar, but its is pretty damn depressing.)
shanemacgowan: No Trooper, no Thin Lizzie, no Chiliwack.
Oops. OK one Trooper song. But I could pick some better ones from that band.
Aww, I think that’s sweet. Maybe they could tie the compilation CD around the neck of a bottle of really good Canadian whiskey.
S.Luggo: Yeah, he and Sam the Sham are both fakes, but Chuggo is funnier.
Who could be more appropriate for Barry the Muslin than Mecca Normal?
“They keep you wanting more, more, more…”
do you really need two hockey songs?
get a life, losers
saw rush in puerto rico (hey, not too many concerts there) loudest show i’ve ever seen.
Lascauxcaveman: In the frozen tundra that is the Midwest, Chilliwack is apropos.
Lascauxcaveman: Double oops. Thin Lizzy was Irish.
“Steal My Sunshine” would be my no. 1 for this project, though “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”* is my no. 1 all-time.
*Seriously, Mars Volta, get on it. You need to cover this bad-boy.
lada_sue: Someone needs to make a Canadian type for Dubya that contains exactly one song: “Bye-Bye Mon Cowboy” by Mitsou.
Also: Bryan Adams’s “Anything I Do (I Do It for You)”.
Nigerian Business Executive: Canadian tApe, p’tit con.
49 songs north of the 49th parallel, my ass! I know what this is - it’s code for “Hey USA, you’d really be cooler as the 49 states of America! Why don’t you let us annex Alaska and take that snowbilly off your hands? We could use the oil, and frankly, you’re better off without them.”
Just when you think Canada can’t get any more adorable, they go and do something like this.
In the North American neighborhood, America is totally the redneck family with the rusting Dodge Charger in the front yard, next to the gay Canadian couple with their immaculate lawn topiaries.
josereyes.theroof: Bravo! Had to read very far before a Bryan Adam’s reference. “Summer of 69″ now that the gays are allowed in the military might be a new anthem
Max Webster. “Hangover”. That is all.
Come on folks, let’s make the The Hockey Song by Stompin’ Tom Connors on the top of Obama’s mix tape.
Arcade Fire, Feist, Weakerthans … I never know XM Radio’s “The Verge” was just a channel full of Canuckistani music. I guess they are closer to the satellites up there and all, but hell.
assistant/atlas:
That certainly explains the relatively low population number north of the border.
For the housing crisis, RUSH’s ‘Subdivisions’ seems appropriate.
“Be cool or be cast out.”
No, no, no. This should include The Rodeo Song. Canadian author (Gaye DeLorme). Used to be popular in college bars (and still probably is in C&W ones). I heard it at a local lesbian/biker/redneck/fratkid bar (interesting how those groups managed to coexist; it involved a lot of drinking).
BigDupa: Seemed so obvious, too. Should have been no. 1a, after Celine.
Also: Leonard Cohen’s needs to be there for “The Future”. I prefer Songs of…, though. (Got me thru many a chill nite in Romania. That, & Back in Black (which is about as far from Canadian as one can get).)
Nigerian Business Executive: I can’t vote for Les Breastfeeders? This is racist against women.
I will use my secret Fortran script to vote for both Malajube and Pierre LaPointe.
Terry:
Me too, it talks about the days when there was actually iron ore in Minnesota and water in Lake Superior.
And steel mills to pay for my kids’ tuition and boilermakers on payday!
Good times, O Canada!
Thanks for the memories.
Also, ObamaTails
http://www.metronews.ca/ottawa/local/article/166432
“Gimme A Smoke”, by Doug & Bob McKenzie. How come it’s not there, eh?
ManchuCandidate: Haha, Hamilton thinks its a real city even without a hockey team. Having been there last month, I will confirm that it is in fact not.
Also, what’s up with Ontario liquor laws?
President Beeblebrox: And Tim Hortons. In massive quantities.
(And seriously, Nuckistanis, what the fuck is up with the whole Tim Horton thing?)
Min:
Actually, no, they couldn’t. There is no such thing as good Canadian whiskey. It all tastes entirely too….
I was going to same bland, sameish, unoriginal, and uninspired, but perhaps just “Canadian” would do?
The Rhythm Method (Drum Solo) [Live]
Roll the Bones
The Enemy Within, Pt. 1 of “Fear”
The Big Money
Mystic Rhythms
Lakeside Park
Red Barchetta
Lessons
Distant Early Warning
New World Man
A Passage to Bangkok
Territories
Chemistry
Limelight
I Think I’m Going Bald
Closer to the Heart (Live)
Different Strings
Working Man
Fly By Night
The Spirit of Radio
Anthem
La Villa Strangiato
Tom Sawyer
Countdown
Manhattan Project
Xanadu
Jacob’s Ladder
The Body Electric
The Trees (Live)
Freewill
A Farewell to Kings
The Weapon
Time Stand Still
The Analog Kid
Twilight Zone
Farewell to Kings
Entre Nous
Spirit of Radio
Digital Man
2112
Finding My Way
Losing It
Bastille Day
YYZ
By-Tor and the Snow Dog
Subdivisions
Red Sector A
Cinderella Man
The Temples of Syrinx (Retrospective Edit)
In the town of Springhill, Nova Scotia,
Down in the dark of the Cumberland Mine,
There’s blood on the coal
And the miners lie ….
Bone and blood is the price of coal.
Bone and blood is the price of co-alllll.
Take that, Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Also, if BTO wins I swear to god I’m leaving the country to go to Canada. No… wait. No, not Canada. That other country I’m always fleeing to.
Oooooo! Goldberg Variations - Glenn Gould!
A few points to think aboot:
1-How come no love for “I’m a going up Yonder”?
2-Can we get Rosanne to sing “Oh Canada”?
3-”I wanta go-ta Owatta
So I’m leaving Toronto pronto.
But if you wanta be a cruiser
you should go to Vancouver.”
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=qqneBEZ164U
In a fit of seriousness no doubt brought on by horrid memories of all the Anne Murray songs my parents used to play on our Datsun 210’s eight-track, I’m going to nominate the Rural Alberta Advantage. Unsigned but awesome. The Deathbridge in Lethbridge would make a fine addition to any mix tape.
Is there a chance that Canada isn’t serious and that this is a ploy to get to second base?
n’importe quoi
Now, be nice or we’ll come down and sack the White House again…
One of Gordon Lightfoot’s best songs is Canadian Railroad Trilogy, where he sings about the Chinese temporary immigrants our government worked to death. And uses the word “verdant”
And the CBC (government owned), commissioned the song!
Man I love my frozen country
No, really 