Wonkette
This winter season we have been repeatedly disappointed by an assortment of famous people’s refusal to run for higher office: Chris Matthews, after flirting outrageously with running for a Pennsylvania Senate seat, seems not to be interested, and ditto former Florida governor Jeb Bush who said he was more interested in “spending time with his family” (Q: gay sex furry pedophile meth-monster scandal brewing?). So which brave soul will step into the fray in 2010 and fill the massive shoes left by outgoing Florida Senator Mel Martinez, who was apparently the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development once? Charlie Crist, that’s who! Maybe!
Poor Charlie Crist is constantly being told that he has to run for this office or that office when he seems perfectly content just to be a governor. The latest jerk to lecture him is “Big John” Cornyn, who said that:
efforts are ongoing to persuade Florida Gov. Charlie Crist (R) to run for his state’s open Senate seat.
“We’re going to continue to visit. It’s very early in the game, but recruitment is important and the ability to be competitive on the financial front is very important too. We’re working on both of those fronts,” Cornyn told The Hill.
Don’t let Big John just ram this thing through, Charlie! Don’t let him cram this down your throat! Sure, the field is wide open and eager for a strong entrant — but it doesn’t have to be you.
Cornyn says GOP talking to Crist about Senate bid [The Hill]
Yes but what are his views on Truck NUTZ? Everyone knows that the Crist loves nutz, but what about nutz, for your truck? Also.
Florida had a chance to elect the first drag queen in Kitty Harris, who at least had a rack. Plus I think Sarah Silverman will just do a Great Schlep II if Chawlie runs and just the name will have the seniors punching the Dem ballot as they gobble mah jong tiles when their Aricept runs out.
“(Q: gay sex furry pedophile meth-monster scandal brewing?).”
No, Jeb’s kids already had those scandals for him.
Good news: sham wedding not in vain.
Bad news: have to spend the next two years with John Cornyn.
OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE! Sweet baby Jeebus, let our gay married orange governor run!! So then a TRIAL LAWYER can be Governor and the GOPs head with EXPLODE!!! And we can beat Charlie’s ass. YIPEEE. Sorry lots of cafe this morning.
If his hair were cut differently, I’d swear that Charlie was an in the closet version of Roger Sterling from Sterling Cooper.
In what respect, Chah-lie?
Ahneta: But Crist loves riding cowboy.
Duh, of course he’s going to run. Why else would he have gotten married–to a woman?
Any news on how that “marriage” is doing?
Charlie Crist has guys with names like “Big John” ramming and cramming his verious orifices nightly, this shouldn’t even phase him.
But so many others have already had his Florida seat. (buh-dum-tish).
With the color of his skin he should be a lobbyist for the orange juice industry.
Bah, he should skip running and just parachute himself there.
Don’t tell me Governor Christ is just going to lay down and take it from “Big John” like that, hopefully he’ll offer some stiff push-back and try to buck the load.
I just made my self a little sick…
The funny thing is, absolutely no one would care if Charlie came out. Total lack of surprise from everyone. Except the wingnuts, but then they are never happy.
The “About Charlie Crist” section of his official website has pictures of him from grammar school and in his football uniform. It does not have the photo that Wonkette normally uses.
Mrs. Christ goes to Washington.
Good thing he went through with that “marriage”, otherwise he might have the correct amount of gay shielding to convince voters that he and another man don’t want to adopt orphans or wear matching rings.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
It’ll get him away from the wife for a few days a week, so I bet it is tempting.
In that photo he is definitely masturbating with his right hand, thinking “If I can’t get my favorite brand of amyl poppers in DC, then no fucking deal.”
Aw, comeon’ we love us some closeted gay politicians in Florida. I’m from the only Congressional district in the ENtire US of A to have sex scandals knock out our incumbant 2 elections in a row. We shudda just stuck with Mark “I LOVE PAGES” Foley. At least we would have had a Repub with some seniority rather than the feckless freshman we’ve got now.
El Pinche: Reverse cowboy.
cal: Heck he actually seems like a nice guy, in a rather gay, non-wingnutty way. I hope he goes ahead and wins the thing, then comes out. Then runs for re-election, with the full support of his amicably divorced ex (she could shrug and say, “Hey, I tried.”), smilingly photographed with a fabulous Cuban pool boy on his arm at every campaign stop.
Be still my heart. The potential comedy goldmine of Agent Orange heading to the majors.
Hmmm. I am kinda sorta related by marriage to the lady who narrowly lost to Mel back in 2004. (Why’s he retiring after just one term anyway?) If my tenuous connection is good for any comedic insights into the 2010 race, I’ll be sure and share.
CorkPopper: I love me some Betty Castor!
CorkPopper: Cuz his popularity rating outside of Miami/Dade is in the tank and he’d probably lose. Since we are now a “purple” state that hard line Bushie rhetoric doesn’t play as well as it did in 2004. Since FL seems to like having a “Dem” seat and a “Repub” seat in the Senate, they know the chances will be way better if they nominate someone like CC who is much more moderate. And gay.
Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool: I don’t know if it matters to you, but having lived in Sarasota, I can tell you Ms. Kitty’s Rack is fake! Not original equipment! They’re ad ons. When she was first running for public office she was a little perky, then one day Bam! Ta ta’s! Everything about her is phoney, isn’t that just like a Republican? At least if Jeb had run Florida would have a chance at a real boob.
The giveaway was when he hired Larry Craig’s entire staff, after sending them each a box set of Liza CDs.
DoctorCulturae: (buh-dum-tish)
I always wondered how the cymbal crash was spelled… Well done.
springfield_meltdown: It’ll get him away from the wife for a few days a week, so I bet it is tempting.
I picture something like this as being a common occurrence in teh gov’s manse…
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39073
Aw, for the love of Crist!
If he does end up winning the seat, will there be a place on his staff for Mark Foley?
President Beeblebrox: doh! that’s right.
Maybe Jeb saw the recent contrast in ‘00 Bush and ‘08 Bush and decided he’d rather keep his dainty looks than age thirty years in eight.
corndog, what an ass. crist already has a job that is a million times better than being a GOP backbench nobody.
“Oompa loopma, loopity-do / He’s got an-oth-er puzzle for you!”
That ridiculous TV commercial referenced in SKS’s report here tells you pretty much all you need to know about Big Gay John. Before he was senator I went to a birthday party (not his) which he also attended. He is big. His stupid gray head stood about a foot above everyone’s. I did not get close to him. Did not want to catch the wingnut cooties. He is an embarrassment to all thinking Texans (all three or four of us, found here on Wonkette.) And the TV commercial only served to show how his enormous ego is in inverse proportion to his intellect. Unfortunately the Democratic Party keeps nominating sacrificial lambs rather than real opponents to contest his seat, so we are probably stuck with this big gay idiot for years to come. If only we had a moderate gay man like Crist instead of a retarded man-child for senator.
He might be orange, but at least he has better hair than Debbie Wasserman Schultz. And a better name, too, come to think of it.
So he’ll caucus with Lindsay Graham?