About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. rocktonsammy

    What has Rick Sanchez done for America lately?

    Joe the Dumber is willing to die for his country and Joe’s country is willing to let him.

  2. Rosalindavenue

    This is awesome, SAMUEL. Even though I was not born in a Communist County, I too am harshly critical of douchebag loser Joe the Plumber. I hope that’s OK.

  3. Maus

    Everybody in Miami thought he was a prick. Strange that him and former Miamian Shepard Smith both seem to be more tolerable as they move up the ranks. Of course, I only hear about Shep when he says something DECENT on Fox, so comparatively, he could be and probably is spewing a load of crap when I’m unaware.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    JtP got Dirty Sanchez-ed!

    What is really annoying is the ESPN like scroll bar with stupid Txt messages. I have expected to see “Yanks Rul Sox Suk Luv U Tonisha Fr Billy Bob”

  5. Texan Bulldoggette

    Oooh, he compares JTP to Fidel … Does JTP even know who Fidel is? I’m starting to like Rick Sanchez.

  6. The Cold Sea

    Damn, Rick’s got all the differnt medias going: titterz and blogs and the teevee. One of the comments in the scrawl said he was “twitterific?” What?

  7. HMS Nerd

    Ha! Saw this coming after angry tweet from RS’s twitter (just after he translated the word “cojones” for a clueless follower). Joe’s completely going to take on the ‘chez and we’ll get a live tweet-burst with every fall of the plunger.

  8. bfstevie

    Hmmm. Rick seems to be a faux-plumber hater. The question is, if Joe the Plumber fell in the forest and nobody was around, would he make a noise? It’s cruel to pick on this artard. How about someone “outing” the artards who felt the need to give Joe a bully pulpit? (A bully pulpit is a tool used to clean out clogged septic tanks.)

  9. The Cold Sea

    Rick and JTP need to just….have it off. Go on, have teh gay buttseks. The tension is too much. JTP needs a dick and Rick’s it.

  10. j6n

    [re=218937]whiskey tango foxtrot[/re]: I vote for Larry King to call him a douchebag. Let’s start a petition.

  11. bfstevie

    [re=218954]The Cold Sea[/re]: Will there be video of that? If so, will it be streaming online or will I have to buy the DVD?

  12. Kev-O-Tron

    Damn, he haz a MAD! I would love to see the look on Sam’s face when he sees that. I hate all those pricks on teevee but that was a pretty good “go fahk yaself” right there.

    In terms of war reporting I know I pimped this here before (and no I didn’t write it) but it is well worth the money.

    Sorry I’m low on snark today – I found out I probably have an ulcer this morning. yuk. But shit, I got some Adavan out of it!

  13. PopeyesPipe

    Man you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Just drink his pee, Rick, and be done with it.

  14. OReillysVibrator

    Not a huge fan of Sanchez, but I’ll give him points for reading Plumber’s comments like a child showing his grandparents that he just learned to read, as that is representative of Plumber’s acumen.

  15. TGY

    [re=218949]bfstevie[/re]: Well, the *actual* question is, if Joesam ran out in front of Sanchez’s car, would he apply the breaks or the accelerator?

  16. OReillysVibrator

    I for one have the class to show up at backyard barbecue only when the hosts are charging for food, and pay my fair share; anything less is TEH SOCIALIZUM

  17. gurukalehuru

    I am reminded of an old Star Trek episode, original version, where you’ve got some kind of nebulous energy being (I know, they always had that)that fed on hate and it kept the humans and klingons fighting and in the end, kirk figured out that they just needed to laugh at it and it would go away and he convinced the Klingon captain and they’re standing there on the bridge laughing like jackasses, and the Klingon captain slaps Kirk on the back and says “Ha! I need no urging to hate humans!”
    Well, just replace the energy monster with Rick Sanchez, Captain Kirk with Joe the Plumber, and the Klingon captain with me. Oh, yeah, the word hate with “make fun of.” Also.

  18. bfstevie

    [re=218973]TGY[/re]: That would play well on the local, soon to be extinct, “if it bleeds, it leads” teevee nooze. They would probably mention that it happened on the “4200 block of Terwilliger Street”.

  19. Otto Reimer

    Seriously, I am just looking for clarification here.

    Is Joe the Plumber Jeff Gannon, or is he not?

  20. blader

    Rick Sanchez–illegal commie immigrant, smacks down JtP-skinhead moron.
    is this a great country or what!

  21. Czn939

    that depends on if he wants JTP to suffer a lifetime of pain and agony or a swift, yet spectacularly messy death. also.

  22. ColHeightsChic

    For about 2.3 seconds, I was a little turned on by Sanchez, particularly when he proudly boasted of his Commie past and so lusciously enunciated “Sam-Yu-El”. But then I remembered what I was watching and snapped back to reality.

  23. MortSinclair

    Some times it doesn’t pay to shoot the messenger. Good for you, Sanchez. Is there hope for you yet?

  24. Mustang

    Okay, here’s the deal. Rick Sanchez = the equipment manager for the football team. Joe the P = Dork who showed up at the cool football player party uninvited.

  25. Keram2

    [re=219066]Mustang[/re]: Joe the P = Dork who showed up at the cool football player party uninvited, and then vomited everywhere. It’s kinda like what he’s doing now, only the party is the national discourse.

  26. myheadsexploding

    [re=218961]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: you got some snark stuck to the lining of your stomach, that’s the problem. you’ll get better!

  27. Heywood Floyd

    It was great until he called him out and then offered him his Twitter and Facebook as a means to reply. “If you were a real man, Samuel, you’d meet me face to face. On Facebook.”


  28. Mr Blifil

    You get the idea that some of them are starting to become dimly aware of what’s going on in the realm of information technology.

    Now, Rick, get your azz over to Gaza and start reporting some fucking truth or shut your fucking pie hole.

    Thank you.

  29. Advocatus_Diaboli

    He’s not nearly as obnoxious, or as dirty, that Sanchez, as Olberman, but I guess he’ll have to do. Too bad JtP wouldn’t even begin to understand the criticism, though, also. It’s not like that moron even recognized the contradiction with being a “war correspondent” dissing war correspondents: He’s too fucking stupid. I think the only thing he’d understand is a loafer flung at his forehead.

  30. undermedicated

    [re=218932]Maus[/re]: Porn video of hot and sometimes reasonable cablenewstards Shep and Rick? Already taken down from the youtubes before I could download it. Guess we’ll have to settle for Rove and Will: creepy gay porn.

  31. Monsieur Grumpe

    Snark off.
    Been there. Eat well and relax for awhile.
    Snark on.
    I’d like to see the two battle to near death and just when they’re going to kiss and make up a piano drops on them both. Claaaaaaannnnnnnnnggggggg!!!!!

  32. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=218987]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: ….P’RLD! (War corespondent version of p’wnd, in honor of Daniel Pearl.)

  33. Norbert

    don’t really know who this Sanchez is (no TV, only WOnkette and my subscription to Watchtower for news from the outside). but this was quite entertaining.

  34. Gallowglass

    Dammit, Sanchez. I don’t like you and I don’t want to, but why, WHY, did you have to make me enjoy that so damned much?

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