fundraising schemes

Scammy-Looking ‘Joe The Journalist’ Site Allegedly Raises Money To Get Joe Home

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Joe the pork-addicted boozebagHa ha, how awesome would it be if Joe “Sam” Wurzelbacher really didn’t have the money to get home from Israel and he had to stay there, forever, until the Israelis deported him for being such a horrible douche? (Or until he got esploded by a Hamas rocket, of course.) In honor of this fine Web site, your Wonkette will be starting a fraudulent PayPal collection scheme where we’ll be “raising money” to keep Joe in Israel/Gaza. All proceeds will be diverted to support Wonkette’s Patriotic Inaugural Ball. [Joe the Journalist aka Joe the plumber]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Sassette

    He’s interviewing Obama? In Gaza? That seems unlikely, being as Obama’s on a whole different hemisphere. I’d prefer to think that’s an epic prank by the Obama staff than a really shoddy lie.

  • johnnypantalones

    Well considering that the shitty Palestinian rockets have only managed to kill like, a dozen Israelis and the Israeli shells and airforce and missles and so on have killed like 12,000, I think the chances of him being hit by Israeli fire are far more likely, and would produce far more hilarity and delicious, delicious schadenfreude-chocolate-heroin-gasms for all.

  • Mr Blifil

    Damn. Now I’m almost SURE he’s a performance artist.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    I HAS STARTED A WEBSITE TO RAZE MONEY 4 MY GERNALISTIC AMBITIONS:
    http://www.redtube.com
    PWEASE HELP ME.

    If only every average “Joe” (read: retard) were able to raise money this way. Someone should most certainly cockslap him.

  • Dildo Baggins

    How much for Joe the penis-headed ass clown domain?

  • CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    Screw the TLD– I just offered him $10,000 dollars to stay the hell over there.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=218741]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Cockslap? My penis retreats up into my pelvis at the very sight of this dingus. No thank ye.

  • Giant Robot

    PJTV stiffing Joe on his return ticket would be funnier than 10 million PUMAS not helping Hillary Clinton pay her campaign debts. Suck it losers…

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    What happened, did Pajama Pundit or whatever the crap name of that right wing stupid fest is run out of money or decide that JTP’s absence from the US actually increased the overall US IQ score now that the hillbilly’s are dying off from too much inbreeding (see previous post).

  • ManchuCandidate

    Why doesn’t he just sell his anal virginity?

    Sort of like this lady:
    http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2009-01/14/content_7397257.htm

  • Servo

    I say we submit his site to the State Department and tell them that it’s funding terrorism.

  • Dave J.

    On Jan 12, 2009 I was invited to an remote place in the Gaza strip to interview Obama the most sought after person in the world.

    Er, what does that even mean?

  • johnbpt

    I bid a button, three bottlecaps and this bit of string — I can haz d’ohmane?

  • dougbob

    what’s a round of jaeger for the wonkette staff cost? that’s what i bidding to keep him there!

  • Gopherit

    [re=218753]ManchuCandidate[/re]: haha. Like joe is an anal virgin. He’s a conservative republican!

    They’d make more selling http://www.joethefraud.com.

    Go to the front lines Joe and GIT SUM!!!

  • WIDTAP

    [re=218758]Dave J.[/re]: My bet is that it’s a joke from those morning radio clowns. Joe refese to go to a remote Gaza location until they threw in a meeting with Sarkozy as well.

    Either that or someone has taken the Safari concept for Nigerian scammers to a whole new level.

  • HMS Nerd

    Joe should completely worry about using his knowledge of the sewers to gain Gaza access instead of just tooling around bothering nice Reuters camerapeople (they don’t go to his job and stop him from laying pipe) – this dude turned out to be such a bald sack of pooh. McCain should lick his head.

  • Dave J.

    Who will be the first brave reader to email him a generous offer of used TruckNutz in exchange for the domain name?

  • Tra

    “In honor of this fine Web site, your Wonkette will be starting a fraudulent PayPal collection scheme where we’ll be “raising money” to keep Joe in Israel/Gaza.”

    Does it really have to be fradulent? The man was hawking digital tuners.

    I will personally raffle off my dog to see this happen.

  • Crow T. Robot

    I will offer him $16,000, 100 cases of beer, and several cases of meat.

    But I will not pay.

  • teebob2000

    [re=218742]Dildo Baggins: How much for Joe the penis-headed ass clown domain?[/re] You mean for the .com, or the .org one?

  • BadKitty

    Damn, that Obama chap is a political genius! First he roofies every conservative blogger on the planet so that they fall in love with him, and then he totally PWNS! Joe the Asshat and strands his ass in Gaza. If I hadn’t already voted for him, I’d totally vote for him again. I <3 him.

  • JGB

    Wait, isn’t he the rich guy with the tax problem that “O” bama wouldn’t fix for him? That guy? Needs help getting plane fare? Screw that asshat…take out a loan, fukstik.

  • TGY

    15 minutes of fame followed by six months of complain.

  • Maus

    [re=218752]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “What happened, did Pajama Pundit or whatever the crap name of that right wing stupid fest is run out of money or decide that JTP’s absence from the US actually increased the overall US IQ score now that the hillbilly’s are dying off from too much inbreeding (see previous post).”

    I sent them a note asking the honest question of why JTP was saying that they didn’t pay for his ticket back.

  • Servo

    He can fuckin’ walk home.

  • OReillysVibrator

    Much like a Jewish person is conflicted by free ham, so is a pacifist conflicted by Joe the Plumber in a war zone.

  • Maus
  • Iggy Plop

    A few clicks and a google search reveals that the site is the creation of Mark Tahiliani, a convicted on-line “natural supplements” fraud artist and the defendant in some wingnut “writ of mandamus” suit from 2007 naming Alberto Gonzalez and Michael Chertoff as defendants. in other words, Joe the Plumber’s exact peer and duplicate.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I offered a ball gag and 2 barely used anal butt-plugs! That will get their attention!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Joe was critical of the media until he realized he was desperately trying to become a part of it.

  • Mustang

    I’ve got my checkbook out, but now I’m thinking, “How the hell they gonna keep Joe in Gaza?” If you give the money directly to Joe, he’ll probably buy some chew and some beer and a crate of beanie weenies, but it’s unlikely you’ll keep him there for long. Maybe you could send him the money, and put up a fake flyer on that street where he hangs out advertising a plumbing business for sale, because remember that’s how this all got started.

  • freakishlystrong

    Does he mean OSama, what the fuck is it blabbering about? Joe the Dumber…

  • Fivetree

    Can we rendition his pimply ass to Darfur or something? Or sell him into sexual slavery? He’s an attention whore so he might as well be a whore in every other sense of the word as well.

    Also.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    JTP has a ‘gmail’ account? He’s got AOL or netzero written all over him. Plus, a tip for the Rhodes Scholar. His legions of mouth-breathing fans don’t know who the fuck Samuel Wurzelbacher is; he might want to stay with the name that brung him fortune & fame. You know: Joetheplumber@aol.com.

  • StephanieInCA

    Or, I hear they have a couple open spots in some resort called “Gitmo”, maybe JTP could go there? Also.

  • Czn939

    [re=218791]Iggy Plop[/re]:
    He’s a total Matt Drudge groupy, right down to the gay-ass fedora, also.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    I heard the media was dying, but I guess its not just the godless, butt seck-pushing liberal media only.

  • 4tehlulz

    If Israel deported him to Gaza or one of the really nutball settlements, that..I don’t think I could put into words how awesome that would be.

  • lenorecutie

    I’m kind of sorry it’s a scam. I totally would have bought it for the sole purpose of turning it into a hard core bestiality site.

  • friendlynerd

    Can we start a counter-fund to make him stay there?

  • BadKitty
  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=218835]BadKitty[/re]: TROLLING NOW.

  • Otto Reimer

    I am still not convinced Joe the Plumber isn’t Jeff Gannon.

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    For his protection, I suggest we weld him inside a 55 gallon steel drum and cleverly hide it underwater somewhere the evildoers wouldn’t think of looking.

  • whiskey tango foxtrot

    Since the blogger awards are over I will click on this site over and over again until I can get the visitor count up to an estimable level. FOR JOE!

  • BadKitty

    [re=218840]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: U rock my world, shorts.

  • norbizness

    I’m selling norbizness@gmail.com to get the bus fare to take the Barton Springs to East Oltorf route. Either that or wait for another ozone action day.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=218792]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: As a point of style, “anal butt plug” is redundant.

  • magic titty

    Shorts and KevOTron are my heroes.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=218891]magic titty[/re]: [re=218858]BadKitty[/re]: Come play! I don’t think there’s even a moderator because my comment went up right away!

  • sezme

    Hamas rocket? The irony would be so much more complete (and thus the narrative arc improved) if he was esploded by an Israeli rocket.

  • Gopherit

    [re=218901]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: [re=218901]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I has a sad. THey are moderating mine.

  • President Beeblebrox

    Joe’s head asplode.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=218947]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Um, you mean Joe’s head a splode. Get the Strongbadism right.

  • BadKitty

    [re=218901]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: They make smart comments go away! Why do they hate America?

  • chascates

    So I assume we are free to use samuelwurzelbacher@gmail.com to sign up for email scams, porno sites, and spam offers?

  • picyou

    Somebody needs to tell Joe/Sam that he could make a pretty good living being a *real* prostitute, and he could do it right back here in the States! All he needs to do is pick a city (NYC would be good, but I guess Columbus would do in a pinch), make a sandwich board that advertises “Joe the Plumber Blow-Jobs, 50 bucks!”, then just walk up and down the sidewalks downtown. He probably has a panel van, being a plumber and all, so he just takes his client to the van, sucks him off and takes the money. Rinse and repeat.

    I’m really surprised that he hasn’t already thought of this.

  • Mahousu

    I notice the page redirects to donate.barackobama.com now. So even Joe has gone all Hopey on us!

  • Roll Fish

    THAT IS NOT DONATE.BARACKOBAMA.COM

    All the images and links go to donate.barackobama.com but the site is just a scam to harvest credit card info.

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T DO IT YOU IMBECILES.

  • tom_dooley

    I am a avid Obama supporter and it is definitely Barack Obama site. I have purchased here in the past during his run for office. I just donated $150 again and I will be getting my awesome tee-shirt in 2 to 3 week as I did back in August. If you look at the source code it goes the the President elects’ secure server. Below is the source code… frame src=”https://donate.barackobama.com/page/contribute/dnc08victoryshirt1?source=feature”

    I am so glad I found this website once again. Thank you wonkette.com

  • JDHART

    I’m cool with Joe staying put.