Wonkette
To honor Barack Obama’s swearing-in as the first Luo president of America, ever, your Wonkette is hosting a sexy sexy party this Friday — yes, the one that’s in two days! Ha ha! And it’s free for everyone, with the musics and the alcohols. America’s videographer Liz Glover will play host at her very own yoga studio to boot! Oh boy! Details!
- Where/when?
10PM till seriously whenever
@ BIKRAM YOGA CAPITOL HILL
410 H Street N.E. Washington, DC 20002
BYOB IF YOU WANT TO
$5 suggested donation (or you can pay nothing and be BANNED FOREVER from LIFE) - Who will play the musics and show you the sexy moving pictures? Descriptions from DC’s own resident art cartographer Nikolas Schiller, who knows all the hot tickets in this town!
BIG GOLD BELT
“visionary seductive sleaze from Luke & Christina, live music/video performance”DJ ANDREW MORGAN
“People’s Potential honcho spinning records so mind-bogglingly nasty that they don’t even actually exist”BEAUTIFUL SWIMMERS
“Future Times heroes (DJ Ari G and Disco City’s Maxmillion Dunbar) banging that slow, aquatic house vibe”Mmhmm!
- Why?
FOR AMERICA! (Free beer.)
- Should I RSVP?
Hmm maybe! Not really, ha. BUT if you’re interested, please send an e-mail indicating you would like to come to tips@wonkette.com, subject line, “I HAVE COORDINATED MY BUMPASS-ROSE TO WONKETTE’S PARTY,” just so we can get a basic headcount, ok? Deal with it?
There will be a Facebook info page soon, for the kids. UPDATE: Facebook event page is here! You can respond there too! Post wacky pictures!
Peggy Noonan and Bill Kristol will be there too, with that same aquatic vibe, because they are fish. Uhh that’s all for now. Come!
Good thing somebody has the balls to give a ball.
Alas, Liz my love, I wouldn’t be caught dead in D.C. for the inauguration, but hey! Party on and take photos for blackmail.
Damn, not enough notice. Flight from Islamabad coming in 3 days later.
Otherwise could have brought a pillowcase full of the good stuff. Is that allowed?
Can I bring the Tennessee House Democrats?
If only you had had the party on Sunday. I will be flying in from the Netherlands to New York only on Saturday
BTW, a question to fellow wonketteers - are there any Inauguration parties taking place in New York that I can crash / but tickets on short notice to?
Satellite party at my house in Marin County. Orgy will occur. Heroin will be distributed. E-mail dvitter@huggies.com for more details.
I got a bad feeling about this…
FRIDAY? As in a day and a half from now? Damn your elite DC dwelling hides! We want liveblog!
I’ll probably bring beer, but who will bring the TruckNutz?
You tempt us with Liz + yoga, but give us only 2 days notice? How cruel you’ve become, Jim!
If anyone is passing through Ann Arbor, MI, we are having some quality bar parties which this libtard will be attending.
Could you guys have a San Diego version (no, I won’t drive to LA)? With the free booze? & snacks? & entertainment? & hoors? (or womenz, though they will not be automatically nice to me)
& someplace we can talk? (that’s not about the women, it’s about the um…nm)
I would bring fie dollas to u.
Bikram Yoga? What exactly is your plan for power-washing the baked-in stench of 100+ degree yoga ball-sweat out of there before your fancy ball?
The closest I can come is to go up to my local Buddhist hot dog vendor and ask him to make me one with everything.
Ooh…about the cover charge…I lit my last fiver to heat my apartment via fire-in-a-barrel. Could I perhaps interest the lovely Wonkette editors in some tomatoes from my Victory Garden instead?
Why does it have to be Friday?! I don’t roll in until Sunday morning. Maybe Liz and I can do an impromptu photoshoot in Lincoln’s lap later in the week.
Bill Kristol is a fish mouthed bastard. Yay! I’m glad someone else sees it, too.
NoWireHangers: The heat will not be turned on. Unless we want to kill you all, which is possible.
I thought Liz was still being waterboarded for freedom?!?!?!
Check Out My Rack: Happy Birthday indeed, Mr. President!
Oooh, sounds hip and fancy! Are crabby middle aged women invited? Oh, oh, oh, make sure Serolf Divad is there so I can get drunk and make a pass at him, please.
Are a lot of you guys really in DC? I thought I was the only one.
Maybe I can astral travel* my way to the Yogic Center.
*astral travel = buttsecks in the back of a moving vehicle.
NoWireHangers: Boric Acid
Is this the party Ken is finally crowned Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather?
Sash queen.
I want to go, but there is no way that I am venturing anywhere near DC for the rest of the month. Can’t you move the party to Philadelphia or something?
Oh snap! Obama met with lib columnist/pundits today. MoDo and Maddow in the same room. The possibilities…
I’m not in DC, I’m in beautiful downtown Silver Spring but if I slip on some ice, I can slide into DC by accident so that pretty much counts as being in DC.
Busy. I have a first date. Hopefully some anal, too.
NoWireHangers: Just shut up and show up with your scrupulously rolled up yoga mat slung over your shoulder and everything will be fine. Ball sweat odor is nothing to be ashamed of, but I should caution readers that it makes a lousy aperitif.
Party tip: turn the taps on in the venue for few hours beforehand to conjure that aquatic house vibe for your guests.
Friday. Damn townies. I don’t fly in from the provinces until Saturday. You will miss me. I am fabulous.
I’ll go, who wants to pregame with meeeee
WILL MICHELE MALKIN, ANN COOTLER AND PEGGY NOONAN BE THERE?!?!?!?!?
God damn America. I won’t be in DC until Sunday at the earliest. This is a conspiracy to rob me of the opportunity to get drunk and hit on our editors.
rockstarjoe: Never fear, there is more than one DC(ish) person here!
It would take a lot more than free beer to inspire me to drag my ass anywhere near DC before at least two weeks from now (after which all the human excrement should either be washed from the streets or at least frozen under fresh snow). But you guys have fun!
choinski: WIN
Will that microphone-eating dog be there? He was adorable!
We’re always proud to see our editors hold balls.
I assume the editors, specifically Jim, will be in yoga apparel?
Oh, that’s real nice.
“Great party starting in 5 minutes, everyone!! Oh, you can’t make it on that short notice? Can’t get out of work to fly in?? Last-minute plane tickets are *expensive*?? Geez, sorry! Thought everyone lived off their trust fund! Huh!”
MoonshineJoe: Yeah, srsly, lets all have a commentor pregame party (HOW LAME DOES THAT SOUND). Maybe we can ask for some bitters to go.
Kev-O-Tron: “This is a conspiracy to rob me of the opportunity to get drunk and hit on our editors.” I bet Ken & Jim are sorely pissed about that, too.
Jim Newell: Mr Blifil: Sadly, I won’t be able to attend as I’ll be spending Inauguration Day on the left coast. However, if I had to die anywhere it would be in Jim’s arms…
NoWireHangers: like the other victims before you?
Fish? Will Governor Salmon Pouch be there, too?
This would qualify as a first date for Wonketteers, right? And as such, anal is to be expected, yes?
Whores! I’m not getting in til saturday. because before that i have to “work”.
Is Bikram the kind of Yoga where they heat the room and everybody strips down? Gawd I hope Peggy N shows!
This Friday night? AWESOME> I will sooooo be th…no, wait a minute. I’ll be at work Friday night, about 3000 miles from DC, pulling a night shift. And probably doing the quarterly taxes. And the yearly taxes. And W3’s and all that. Also.
Yay. (Aw, who cares, I hate DJ’ed events anyway. Live band, then I’m feeling I’m missing something.)
StephanieInCA: You address people as “whores,” too? My God, we could be soulmates. Plus, you’re from California!
. . . you know, like my wife!
yoga? oh, i thought you said it was a toga party …
Capitol Hill???!!!! NE??? not even CLOSE to the subway???!!!! What kind of eco friendliness is that? Wasn’t Gazusa free??!!
bureaucrap: actually about 5 blocks from union station
Sorry, I don’t want to reveal my true identity. And I only do Anusara yoga also.
I am trying to convince my officemate, who is going to the inauguration, to go to this. He seems scared. This is actually the first day we have shared an office since my old officemate graduated in December. Maybe springing Wonkette on him on the first day was not the best idea.
Aww, I can’t make it, either! But chowkster — I’m in NYC, too! I’ve been toying with the idea of using this internet thing to see if anything is happening in this town for the inauguration. Someone, can’t remember who atm, is doing a screening at City Hall… but meh. I may just go to work and TiVo the damn thing.
Crapola–Saturday much better….
I wish I could go, but my mom won’t let me. I sure like free beer, though.
finallyhappy: Lie. Say you are AngryBlakGuy.
OffTheRecord: Totally drag him along. If he reacts badly, you can spend your time at work slowly driving him mad (hiding his stuff, moving things around on his desk). This can be an important test.
shortsshortsshorts: Jesus, Shorts. I grew up in Novato. Small world, eh? And have a peacock feather on me.
On a more serious note: Why would anyone make a video about Yogi Bear? Liz, are you sure there is a market for “The Jellystone Diaries”?
Now, if it was about Booboo, we could market to the “Bears,” If-You-Know-What-I-Mean-And-I-Think-You-Do . . . .
Too bad I’m on the wrong coast for this one. Partying at a Bikrams? “Lock the knee [do a shot] Lock the knee [do a shot] Lock the knee! It’s okay to lie down if you can’t feel your legs anymore.”
I’m in!
Doglessliberal: We are already fighting over the fact that he really wants to leave the office door open and I really want it closed so no one can see how much time I spend on Wonkette. And also because if the door is closed it reduces human interaction with people I don’t like.
Who’s up for pregame on Amtrak?
OffTheRecord: bring him to this, get him drunk, introduce him to Our Famous Wonkette Editors, and he will love you forever. Maybe.
I didn’t see “clothing optional”, but that’s okay, I can read between the lines, especially when I’m drunk.
Yoshi: How about we NYC Wonketteers have our own inauguration ball / Rum and Meth party?
MattW: Joe Biden?
i have responded to your face, book.
I wish I could come, but I live in the Midwest and this damn cold weather has frozen my hand to my penis. I can open a beer with my teeth though, and while I’m getting drunk I’ll be thinking about all the anal going on there without me. The thought of missing Ken in his harness and leather chaps brings tears.
Man, I don’t plan on being anywhere near DC for the next week and a half. Your city is going to be more of a shithole than normal during Woodstock ‘99… er, I mean the Inauguration.
As for myself I am going to wear Two pair of Depends, that way I don’t have to go Piss or Poop.
I will thoroughly ENJOY the whole damn PARTY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MICHELLE MALKIN THERE WE ALL SECRETLY LOVE MICHELLE MALKIN WE WANT MICHELE MALKIN MICHELLE MICHELE MICHELLE MALKIN IS REALLY A CLOSET WONKETTE OPERATIVE.
Sorry. Too much afternoon caffiene.
This is bullshit! Two days away? That gives me heaps of time to book a flight from Los Angeles…thank you, Wonkette. God….I wish I knew how to quit you!
Keram2: P.S. Rabbit Habits…nice.
Senator Bateman: You have some damn good eyes, friends. Yeah, it’s the my old avatar that comes up at work for some reason. Personally, I like my emObama icon more…
Keram2: The Ballad of Butterbeans = soundtrack for deeply baked Wonketteers stumbling through the snow from the station to the yoga Wonk palace. Wish I could go. I used my LA=>DC airfare to buy a big flatscreen teevee so I can watch Barry sparkle whilst still warm and toasty in my PJs. In LA. Also.
Who wants to drive down from NY?
Who’s got a car?
I have monies I can provide.
Keram2: Damn good album and damn good band….Anywho…I’ve decided that I’m having my own anti-wonkette inaugural ball party at the advertising arts building in Santa Ana, CA. I’m sure it’ll just be me, the Lord and Jose Cuervo….but if anybody knows the area they are more than welcome to help me indulge in my misplaced misanthropy.
myheadsexploding: Senator Bateman: Nice guys as well. I could rant about the lack of Rabbit Habits on a stupid website’s stupid year-end list, but I’ll just go ahead and say fuck Pitchfork and end it there.
Heywood Floyd: No one in this city has a car.
hrhkingfriday: I’m down. Wanna go to the Argonaut on 14th and Md? First round on me.
Wish I had known sooner. I could’ve carpooled with everyone’s favorite muslin critics ( http://wonkette.com/403090/kentucky-rednecks-have-edifying-insight-about-this-hussein-ay-rab-preznint ) Would have been a cold ride though…
I am on the Facebook. Everyone, friend me!
Join the Activist Coalition of DC in McPherson Square for Inauguration fun and activism! Tell President Obama what you HOPE for and then find out how to make it happen!
WeHopeforChange.org
http://inaugurationaction.blogspot.com/2009/01/progressive-inauguration-events.html
Do you know anyone from Hawaii who is not a fan of the Maui Wowee? No wonder Barry is so cool.
I is coming on your balls.
I knew there was a reason I am freezing my nalgas off to be in DC. I will be there and drag my heathen friends who don’t read Wonkette but have to listen to me carry on and on about the great wisdom I derive from reading it. Maybe we can convert them while we are at it, and then they, too, shall be saved.
What’s the dress code at your fancy ball?
Yeah what IS the fancyball dress-up code? Do I have to have my friend tie a tie for me (he went to business school) or start polishing my wingtips of fluffing my loafers’ tassels or somesuch? Dicky or ascot? Monocle or pince-nez? Mahogany pipe or cigarette holder (the longer the better)? Will my vintage “Wellstone” or “McGovern” stickers net me any tail? If not that’s fine too.
I will be there. I will be drunk. I will not be charming in any way.
I knew there was a good reason I left the balmy city of Sacramento for the frigid DC K street corridor. Being able to do things like going to a wonkette party totally justifies paying twice my old rent and having to commute to work bundled up like a Yupik.
Sorry, but I cannot attend this party either due to being overwhelmed with my guvernatorette duties up here in Alaksa.
Sarah
I won’t be there, stuck and poverty stricken as I am here in Real America.
For those of you who need a break from booze, whores, drugs and sex, gay sex, group sex, solo sex, etc, the “United Methodist Reporter” informs me that UM churches in the DC area are holding multitudinous events around DC, including drop in places to warm up and maybe sleep off you hangover if you can’t find your way home. (I made up that last one). You’ll also have an opportunity to engage a Wesleyan Theology Seminary prof in a discussion group.
Yeah, I knew the wonkerrati would love knowing this. Your welcome.