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John Kerry Drafts Chelsea Clinton Into Performing Sex Favors For A Day

What is this “chairman’s prerogative” John Kerry is invoking here? Gross. [YouTube]


10:10 AM on Wed January 14 2009
By Sara K. Smith
2264 Views

  1. Mr Blifil says at 10:13 am, January 14th, 2009

    Jeez, he just wants to be near her. Oh very well…inside her. Happy?

  2. I’m glad to know that Chels talents will finally be developed and expanded.

  3. Did he also say that her father was an intern? Now we know where Bubba learned how to treat interns.

  4. Old Senator Horse Face is one sleazy bastard.

  5. Toomush Infermashun says at 10:22 am, January 14th, 2009

    How about “by the hour?”…

  6. Gopherit says at 10:26 am, January 14th, 2009

    That Kerry is one smooth operator. I heard he picked up Teresa Heinz in a Disco with the following line:

    “Um, hello young lady. I was going to have a get-together, a party if you will, later. I was wondering if you would be so good as to attend said party. Oh yes, that party will be in my slacks. Did you know these are polyester? They are quite durable and stain-resistant.”

  7. Darehead says at 10:27 am, January 14th, 2009

    Swift Goat.

  8. The Aristocrats!

  9. It is also the Chairman’s perrogative to make Mrs. Larry Craig Senate restroom attendant for a day.

  10. HedonismBot says at 10:38 am, January 14th, 2009

    Why is Biden so notorious for gaffes? Sen. Long-and-Hairy-and-Hard-to-Kerry seems to stick his foot in his mouth at least a couple times a year.
    Ah, a Kerry presidency might have been fun. Now we’ll never know.

  11. Spiro Agnew says at 10:38 am, January 14th, 2009

    Chels, you’ve come a long way baby.

  12. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO says at 10:39 am, January 14th, 2009

    You can’t blame the guy for trying…

  13. Gopherit:
    “Do you like windsurfing?”

  14. Chelsea Clinton: Yet another thing McCain was wrong(ish) about.

  15. I think Chairman’s Perogative is the same thing as prima nocte, which lets the chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee sleep with the President on Jan. 20.

  16. Otto Reimer says at 10:52 am, January 14th, 2009

    Chelsea should be the poster girl for the Ugly Duckling Society of America.

  17. TommySez says at 10:53 am, January 14th, 2009

    I’d tap that ass!

    Hillary’s, too.

  18. MARCdMan says at 10:53 am, January 14th, 2009

    ♥ Rachel Maddow.

  19. KilgoreTrout_XL says at 10:53 am, January 14th, 2009

    Chelsea is looking damn good there.

  20. Mr Blifil says at 10:55 am, January 14th, 2009

    HedonismBot: Biden is notorious for gaffes because he can’t help himself. In this situation he’d probably say something like “I don’t understand why my good friend Senator Kerry is under criticism for his flattery of Chelsea Clinton, I mean look at her-she’s CLEARLY fuckable…”

  21. sarcasticusername says at 10:58 am, January 14th, 2009

    how on earth does john kerry manage to be so darned awkward? he opens his mouth to try and make a funny, and you just know that shit pellets are going to come flying out, it’s mostly just a question of volume. he’s got a real talent for this (not even entirely sure what “this” is), it’s absolutely amazing.

  22. I can’t watch it. I can’t watch the hildebeest. Just when I thought the nightmare was over, she came back on my teevee again. And even on my Wonkette. Will I never be free of her? Pleeze, teevee and internet gods, block my Hillary-reception. My nerve endings will thank you.

  23. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO says at 11:00 am, January 14th, 2009

    You ever wonder if Rush Limbaugh secretly hates himself for secretly masturbating to this libtardette he once likened to a dog?

    I hope so. I hope they’re bitter bitter tears.

  24. And I can’t watch Rachel Lesbow, either. It makes me soooo…confused. (Ducks.)

  25. Mr Blifil: “Please refer to the powerpoint presentation that I have made about the fuckability of Chelsea Clinton. Packets may be picked up at the back of the room.”

  26. We already knew Kerry was into that stuff, remember?

    http://wonkette.com/401515/john-kerry-party-boat-craziness

    He just wanted Chelsea for his harem of boat-dwelling, Bud-Light-via-penis-straw-drinking, wild party whores. And really, who can blame him? I’ll probably be thinking of Chelsea when I’m with my boatload of drunk sluts tonight, and all of you know you will too.

  27. sarcasticusername: He would’ve been great as Sec of State.

  28. El Pinche says at 11:17 am, January 14th, 2009

    Kerry wants to drive his swiftboat up Chelsea’s NAFTA highway.

  29. JadedDIssonance says at 11:19 am, January 14th, 2009

    Maddow has some of KO’s mannerisms. I wish she would channel a little more Ellen, a little less Charlie Gibson.

  30. Gorillionaire says at 11:21 am, January 14th, 2009

    I have a fair amount of confidence in Chelsea. In spite of her undoubtably wacky life so far, I believe that she will probably wind up being an accomplished, honorable grown up person someday. Much more so than any other presidential offspring we have around right now.
    And yes I would totally hit it.

  31. Gopherit says at 11:24 am, January 14th, 2009

    JadedDIssonance: Leave my Rachel alone! She’s just fine the ay she is…

  32. The chairman’s prerogative is like that thing from Braveheart, where the lord of the land has the right to nail the wife of his peasants on the night of the wedding, except in our superior democratic system it applies to daughters of government appointees. Read your Magna Carta people.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  33. ThreeFirstNames says at 11:31 am, January 14th, 2009

    You can’t say intern and Clinton in the same sentence without someone else screaming SEX

  34. Deepthroat says at 11:33 am, January 14th, 2009

    tee-hee! Visuals of Kerry a la Bobby Brown… imagine, if you will…

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1vbbz_bobby-brown-my-prerogative_music

  35. Miller: It’s shocking that Clinton didn’t institute prima noctis. Maybe just for cankly virgins.

  36. Who wouldn’t want to give her a semen bath? That’s all I’m saying, also.

  37. DoctorCulturae says at 11:43 am, January 14th, 2009

    This is no gaffe. Kerry is a dork, but no dummy. This is Senator Behavior 101, the kind that plays to the nasty inner game of the place. There is no love lost between him and Team Clintbot. My hunch is the Team iced him out and this is another “marker.” As in, just cause you’re still in doesn’t mean we lefties can’t bring you down a notch or two with the same crap that brought you down before. Or, let’s make sure everyone knows you’re playing the hoor game here.

  38. JadedDIssonance: I wish she’d stop saying nay-ow for “now.”

  39. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO says at 12:10 pm, January 14th, 2009

    No one’s paying attention because they’re all focused on Hillz and Chels (hopefully, for the sake of your penis, more Chels than Hillz), but Chucky boy is sporting a full on pede-grin through the whole thing, like he’s thinking, “Yeah, I’d take her for an intern… ten years ago.” Creepy.

  40. chascates says at 12:15 pm, January 14th, 2009

    And which one of these two ate the canary?

  41. whiskey tango foxtrot says at 12:35 pm, January 14th, 2009

    No no Senator, *foreign* relations. You have to take her to Canadia first.

  42. Heywood Floyd says at 12:39 pm, January 14th, 2009

    Check that man for pants. Chairman’s Prerogative does not apply here.

  43. imarmcandy says at 12:53 pm, January 14th, 2009

    DoctorCulturae: Maybe, but as usual Kerry just comes off like a dork.

  44. Purple Tide says at 1:00 pm, January 14th, 2009

    It’s pretty obvious Kerry has a thing for redheads: Theresa Heinz, Chelsea Clinton, Party Boat Slut #2. He’s a ginger hound!

  45. HMS Nerd says at 1:08 pm, January 14th, 2009

    Ha! @imarmcandy, so right - anyone else saying that would have been obvs mean. In this case, it’s like Kerry popped down from planet Ketchup to try this new human custom called talking to people. He should stick to the script.

  46. Chuck Schumer looks as happy as a dog with two dicks.

  47. As a successful hedge fund employee, calling her an intern is more than a bit insulting. A senator’s salary looks ‘intern-like’ compared to hers.

  48. Chelsea vs. Meghan? Tough call, but I think it would be easier & sleazier to hit it with Mehgan.

  49. lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:36 pm, January 14th, 2009

    Freudian (sexual) hysteria on Wonkette should be considered by Congress as a valuable source of renewable energy. Even better, much of it runs off of good ol’ US-grown corn and barley. I’d even venture that it’s a new energy class: psycho-thermal.

  50. Purple Tide says at 1:38 pm, January 14th, 2009

    Chelsea is svelte and shapely; she’s at least a good decade or two from cankledom. Meghan, however, plumps up every six months with a random freshman 15, probably from sipping on her mother’s Busch.

  51. NunnaTheSOBs says at 1:40 pm, January 14th, 2009

    @ Gopherit:

    … and Teresa Heinz replied to Mr. Ed
    the same way she did to America after
    he lost the ‘04 election:

    “kiss my ass and buy my ketchup”.

  52. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO says at 2:44 pm, January 14th, 2009

    Bruno: Happy compromise; nail Meghan while picturing Chels.

  53. greywindz says at 12:24 pm, January 22nd, 2009

    Kerry’s priorities are way out of league… ;-( tsk tsk…

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