Wonkette
- The small but growing number of Gazan refugees has doubled in the past four days. [New York Times]
- Today John Kerry will be leading Hillary Clinton’s Senate confirmation hearing for Secretary of State. This is all very Fraught, since Kerry wanted the job. [Washington Post]
- The UK’s foreign secretary says Pakistan has primary responsibility for dealing with this Mumbai problem. [BBC News]
- Russia’s Gazprom has resumed natural gas delivery to Europe via Ukraine, with international monitors standing by to make sure the devilish Ukraine doesn’t siphon off gas. [UPI]
- This is fantastic: an Indiana businessman fakes his own death in an Alabama “plane crash,” then turns up 225 miles away claiming he has been in a “canoe accident” even though his legs are only wet from the knees down and he is wearing flight goggles. He is currently missing. [AP]
- The U.S. abstained from a U.N. vote calling for a cease-fire in Gaza because Ehud Olmert told us to. [Los Angeles Times]
As a pilot, I must say I have no idea what “flight goggles” are, except for the big old-timey ones that people wore when barnstorming with bi-planes.
What? Condi Rice irrelevent to the rest of the world, including our Israeli overlords? Shocking. My bet is that Hillary will be equally efffective.
Wow, you can almost hear Kerry crying softly inside:
“I have my freedom and I have my independence, and there are some assets to being there [at State], there are some great assets to being here. And I’m not going to be a grass-is-greener kind of guy. This is good. I’m fine.”
“They learned he had paid for his room in cash before putting on a black cap and running into the woods next to the hotel, officials said.”
AP writing and reporting at its very best.
And this is just demeaning and sexist to women everywhere… I bet the PUMAs will be outraged:
“To be sure, Clinton will be charged with undertaking an agenda largely set by Obama, and transition officials say her confirmation hearings will be a forum to lay out that agenda, not hers.”
I’m having trouble faking my own life.
So in the photo with the BBC article on Mumbai, is the British man freakishly tall or the Indian man freakishly short?
Omg, U.S. is totally pussywhipped on Israel… when will he finally see her for the spoiled brat she is and dump the bitch? His friends don’t even want to talk to him anymore, and if anyone stands up to her he beats the crap out of ‘em.
kerry: What is your name?
hillz: Hillary Rodham Clinton
kerry: What is your quest?
hillz: to be secretary of state
kerry: what is the air-speed velociyt of an unladen swallow?
hillz: what do you mean? an “intern under your desk” swallow or a “bitter, cheated-on wife under duress” swallow?
kerry: huh? I don’t know that…
(kerry is thrown out of the hearing room)
kerry: aaaaaugh
babs boxer: How do know so much about swallows?
hillz: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know. Also.
Marcus…Dumbass. A crash investigation is initiated with searching for survivors and/or identifying bodies.
slithytoves:
He probably wore his IFR training goggles.
Does this mean that Israel is the “Man” in the relationship?
space stout:
Good try. One minor correction
hillz: Well, you have to know these things when your hubby is impeached, you know. Also.
And this is why Marcus Schrenker is having the BEST WEEK EVER!
It’s not rockets that kill people, it’s the damned explosives inside ‘em.
ManchuCandidate: I liked it just fine.
A refugee from Gaza…About the saddest redundancy in the world at this point.
Did Joe the Plumber become Joe the Jackson Pollock Painting yet?
donner_froh: Yeah, I can’t figure out why they put on a black cap and fled into the woods after they learned that the suspect paid for his room in cash.
Also, AP needs to check its dictionary to find out if ‘determing’ is a real word.
Oh and on the gas thing, the BBC is contradicting UPI with the headline, Russian Gas to Europe ‘Blocked’.
InsidiousTuna:
True, but the words Clinton and Swallows is just too good to pass up.
On this day, Senator Kerry said the word “gargantuan.”
My life is now complete, the end.
bitchincamaro:
I hope your wrong but I fear you’re right.
But when investigators found the plane, its door was ajar and the wreckage showed no signs of blood or the blown windshield Schrenker had reported.
From Indiana, on his way to the Florida panhandle. I guess his flight plan was drawn up to include only Genius-Free Zones.
I watched Rick Steves Iran travel show last night. Very impressive. By Bush’s and Olmert’s description, I was expecting to see Tehran’s streets filled with Borg. I saw only casual and smiling people, and a few PILFs.
Mr Blifil:
A backwoods anal raping was part of the plan. Hence the canoe “accident” story.
donner_froh: reported by Joe TP who was trying to ask him some real questions.
Just saw the AP video of Schrenker’s plane crash, and must offer a new translation: “crumbling marriage” = fucking the poolboy at his Destin condo. Just sayin’.
There was a Columbo episode where Johnny Cash plays a singer who kills his wife. He does this by drugging her while he is flying his private plane to his next concert. Leaving her unconscious, he jumps out of the plane in a fog and parachutes to safety, leaving the plane to crash.
The episode predates the concept of parachuting Elvis’s by several years. Johnny Cash is truly an American original.
Cape Clod:
Well, Rory B Wells/Krusty the Clown is unimpressed.
Atlanta Control reported hearing Jerry Reed’s “East Bound And Down” playing over and over.
Everybody knows that if you’re going to jump out of a plane to fake your own death, you close the door after you eject.
John Kerry really wanted Obama’s job. Then again, so did Hillary.
Servo: Excellent!
slithytoves & SKSMith: Obviously he crashed his Pitts Special into a canoe. Why is this so hard to believe?
Also, poor John Kerry. He would have made an OK president, relatively speaking. Also.
Cape Clod: Ha! I remember that episode! Columbo figured out the Cash character was guilty when he found he had sent his special guitar by rail, instead of taking it on the plane with them.
(I am old.)
Servo: That explains the “flight goggles” angle. Because otherwise, wtf?
Cape Clod: You left out the part where after the bumbling Columbo spends 15 minutes coming to the accusation of murder in the most roundabout way conceivable, Johnny Cash proceeds to beat the living shit out of him with a tire iron.
Cape Clod: Mr Blifil: In the movie “Walk the Line” you get to hear a lot of Johnny Cash songs, and are reminded what a great songwriter he really was. Unfortunately you have to spend a lot of time looking at and listening to Reese Witherspoon. Also.
It is unfortunate that Kerry’s talent for sedating people merely by talking to them will go unused.
slithytoves: They were probably skydiving goggles.
The guy ran a company called “Heritage Wealth Management, Inc!” How dumb do people in Indiana have to be to not understand that “wealth management” isn’t a real job?
“So, Marcus, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a wealth manager!”
“What’s a wealth manager do, again?”
“I manage wealth!”
“OK! Here’s all my money!”
Still, you just know Bernie Madoff is kicking himself for not thinking of the skydiving thing first.
Gosh, there’s a big f*ing surprise, Israel is directing U.S. policy on the Middle East! Bush is still proudly wearing his ‘milk’ moustache, in recognition that at least one nation still values his status as POTUS.
and by milk (for the uninitiated), I mean Olmert’s jiz