Wonkette
What were you doing in 1996? Grunge or something? Barack & Michelle Obama were being famous, as always, and as proven in this latest glamor shot from the past, because all the photographers always want to take $exy pix of the Obamas. Read the exciting New Yorker bit about this mysterious “black and white” photo and find out how this quote from Barack ends: “And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have ….” [New Yorker]
That Muslin terra statue on the table proves that Barry was not born in the USA.
Damn, I used to have that same rug.
NO, THE ONE ON THE FLOOR, PEOPLE.
So this was b4 he bombed the WTC? Geez he looks so RADICAL in that photo.
Gaaaah! Leggings and a shirt! Oh Michelle, I thought you were better than that…but at least it affirms that I wasn’t the only one who wore ugly shit in 1996. And my shirt was…flannel plaid… (hangs head in shame)
What was I doing in 1996? Creating a false US birth certificate and bitching about “whitey” in church. What was everybody else doing?
…swamp ass?
How’d we wind up with such a good-looking president after all the dogs we’ve had? Excepting JFK, of course. Must be the Change.
Oh jeez, they were just as wonderful and thoughtful and caring before they went into politics. I hate them — we’re not worthy of a president like this.
we are seeing a fair amount of presidential-sock in that picture.
Barry looks like my grandpa. Seriously. Nice liquid leggings, Michelle.
And what’s that statue to their right? Barry’s birth certificate?
its the promo picture for a Cosby show spin-off. (They dance funny in the opening credits too.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6vrAfceviY
… starburst?
Wow a Democratic First Lady without cankles. Now that’s change I can believe in!
“And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have ….”
…the need to triple-lock the door?
…the realization that this room really needs to be soundproofed?
…the sweet, sweet love?
C’mon Wonketeers–let’s Mad Lib it.
…the sudden craving for moonpies?
When this picture was taken, Michelle had never been proud of America. (Gad, she has long legs, tho.)
CorkPopper: She was ahead of her time. Leggings are back (but thank God most people were them with a tunic now).
Is that the stock of an AK47 under the couch?
Lorax: “…to fight for the remote.”
I don’t mean to be harsh on the pre-election Michelle, but that tied-tight-and-back hairstyle just wouldn’t do it for me. Her current loose-and-long style is the hotness we have come to expect.
…and Barry? Wingtips and knee length hose? Dude! Did you find that in your closet next to the short sleeve shirt and sweater vest combo from the Christmas pic?
Is that…? On the table there…?
Could it be that killer Zuni voodoo doll, the one that chased Karen Black around her apartment in “Trilogy of Terror”?
If so, I am impressed - though hardly surprised - that Obama found a way to tame it.
… the urge to dance around the room naked singing the Theme From Shaft?
Lorax: I just assumed “wood,” but my mind is dirtier than Unicorn Barry’s.
yellowdogdem: Yes, the critical component of a second layer of ass coverage makes them acceptable now, even to me.
Lorax: “…to apologize for the Dutch Oven.”
Nice cave.
Wow…now that’s a threeway I can believe in..
I love them. Help. Heart melting. Cynicism fading. Quick, someone say something awful.
A. Note his hand on her thigh
B. Anyone hear that Mr. Hopey(cause we are pretty close to him being the PRES) said that deciding on the new family dog was more important than Sec of Commerce- with which I totally agree.
One Yield Regular: I thought I was the only person who remembered the original “Trilogy of Terror”, starring Karen Black and the killer voodoo doll that Peter Brady found on the beach in Hawaii.
Barry bin Obama is clearing going to bring his scary wayang kulit/shadow puppet muslin gods into the White House with him, AND THEY WILL BE HIS REAL CABINET. KEN LAYNE WHY DID YOU CROP THE SHADOW PUPPETS OUT OF THE NEW YORKER’S PICTURE? ARE YOU IN THE TANK FOR BARACK OSHADOWYBAMA?
Lorax:
…a three person tent on my side.
I’m waiting for this pic to show up on a puma blog with Michelle sporting an MSPaint lipstick job.
Yes! I had a nicer apt that Barak in 1996. I rule.
wait, what
I’d eat the chips under those cushions.
Looking forwards their sexy time in the WH
Serolf Divad: It is hard to recognise Michelle without her AK.
CrunchyKnee: That’s no Muslin Fertility statue, that is the bad-luck Tiki from The Brady Bunch!!!
Damn! It looks like Barry won’t even give us a “Lusted in my heart for other women” Playboy interview moment.
Looks like we will see a similar article soon:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29788
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
They’ll need to keep a boot handy for those Republican tarantulas in the Lincoln Bedroom.
OffTheRecord:She still wears that sweater.
…morning wood.
Damn, these people are so F**king happy it makes me sick. “Travel, kids, politics, familiarty, tradition, mystery” Vomit.
Seriously though, the last drawing that the New Yorker ran of these two was much more entertaining. And factual, I mean, where’s the Angela Davis ‘fro?
Madeline: Everyone remembers the story with the doll, but what were the other two stories in the trilogy about?
OffTheRecord: Basically, yes.
Madeline:
Looking under my couch has never been quite the same since I saw that.
god damn. that shit almost makes me want to get married.
Makes me sentimental for the nights when all the white folks used to hunker down in front of the teevee to watch Cosby…
Where can I get a La-Z-Terrist sofa?
One Yield Regular: Tame it, shit! That’s just how he keeps his bitch in line.
” . . . to face Mecca to pray to Allah, Who will guide me to fulfil His glorious will by destroying the infidel.”
I think they should go back to having identical haircuts, and force the same on the girls. Clearly a poodle is called for. Also,
no fistbump?
I know what is wrong with that picture: their Al Qaeda controller has been photo-shopped out and replaced with a pillow on the couch.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Brady Bunch Tiki? That would explain all those return trips to Hawaii he’s been making.
CrunchyKnee: That Statue was stolen in Hawaii from a nice family named “Brady”, who’s own trip was marred by the drowning death of their eldest son to surfing and the middle son’d demise to a giant spider.
I had no idea that I’ve been wearing old-man socks all this time… I’m not even 30… Damn you all.
Madeline:
I’m in Retro Heaven! Wasn’t the doll/troll thang on Night Gallery too? Those 70’s drugs must have been great. The writers in the 70’s were more doped up than Blago at one of his poetry readings!
V572625694: There’s a dead kitten under the brocade pillow.
Cape Clod: There was one about a teacher who used mind-control on a student to toy with him and then toss him like Kleenex. If only. I don’t remember the third, but that statue one gave me nightmares.
“No time to argue. Through me the idol, I’ll through you the wheep.”
“Gimme the whip!”
“Adios, senior.”
Nerdalicious:
Thanks for helping me to remember where I saw it.
Gorillionaire: I really ties the room together.
im irritated by how happy and successful they are together.
some might say….BITTERs.
This weekend when I was buyin’ fixins for my Hobo Stew, I saw on those fancy printed papers that Barack’s inauguration is illegal. I saw a photo of the “hospital” he was “born” in 8,000 miles from the golden shore of Ameraky. And all these “tribal” artifacts of rugs and fertility/terrorism/half breed Muslin worship are proving it all correct.
First of all, it’s “risk adverse”, Michelle, our PRESIDENT said so. Today. You ain’t First Lady yet with your fancy book learnin’.
And thirdly, you can just about hear the aborted fetuses squish under the sofa cushions.
The story from 1996 is dated Jan. 19, 2008. Have we entered a time machine?
WIDTAP: You’re crazy. She’s got those cheekbones to make that Afro-Sheen buzzcut really WORK.
Of course, she looks fine with a processed, because the straight, White-Mastra-In-The-Woodpile hair thing works for her as well.
But the close-cropped West African look has . . . STYLE.
(Spoken as a Stereotypical Angry Old White Guy Who Always Wanted To Bang Angela Davis — anally, of course.)
“Brown Sugar! What makes you taste so gooooooooooooooooooood.”
(Who’s that knocking? It’s not the Secret Service AGAIN, I hope . . . .)
One Yield Regular: That was my exact thought! That was one mean knife wielding voodoo tiki thing. I saw that when I was about eight years old, and it freaked me out good. And now there it sits, right next to my president Barack Obama, waiting for just the right moment to whip out the knife again and start chasing everybody around the White House! What a great sequel that would make! Obama could save America from the Voodoo Tiki Terrorist right in his own house!
It’s a different world, oooh from where ya come from…
….. “to stop sleeping with Bill Ayers.”
This may come off as gauche but, I can haz 3somez?
That statue looks like it’s pooping.
(yes, I am a ten year old boy in my mind)
Datsun510:
Hey, Datsun510! I owned one of you & painted it pink! Kewl
Is Barry wearing lipstick?
Thankfully Michelle’s EMO-terrorist look only lasted until 1999.
Nerdalicious: I was a station wagon, white with a black vinyl top. I had a special combination of utility and kewl.
Datsun510:
Oops, you are right I believe I was the sporty 210. Which of course lent itself to being painted pink! (Originally yellow)
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: Well, she did say he was the flamboyant one in the family.
13 years from hyde park grad school chic to the white house.
i’m feeling extra special good about my past 13 years right about now.
thank god there will always be PUMAs.
AxmxZ: “flamboyant”? Who have we elected, Oscar Wilde? I knew it, he’s going to come the inauguration dressed as Huggy Bear.
A First Lady First: Valium Free!
Cape Clod: One of the stories was about sisters, and Karen Black played both roles. One sister was prim and librarian-ish and the other one was slutty. I don’t remember the plot, but it was a acting tour-de-force by our Ms. Black, I’m sure.
pondscum: The time discrepancy is clearly proof of all the LIES and DOCUMENT FORGERIEZ and LIEZ of the AFRO-ISLAMISIST TERRISM STENCH REEKING FILTH conducting CONSITITUTIONAL FRAUD and LIEZ against the AMERICANS PEOPLES
Or in other words, PALIN/PLUMBER 2012!! NEVUR FERGET 911!!!11!!!!!!!!!
Madeline:, Datsun510: Further proof: neither one of them is smiling in this picture.
For obvious reasons.
Bruno: He’s Muslim, also.
S.Luggo: Okay, I feel better now.
President Phil Lamarr?
Barry looks kinda like a girl I knew in College.
Coincidence?
Holy shit! Do you think they were still “doing it” back then?
randomsausage: He’s more Bosie than Wilde - he’s definitely the adored one in the marriage.
Scandalabra: I bet they’re doing it right now.
In fact, my current fantasy is dependent upon such.
My Dad used to wear those shoes.