• May 26, 2012

More Sexy Pix of Barack & Michelle, From the Past

by Ken Layne  12:38 pm January 12, 2009

Nice old-man socks, Barry.
What were you doing in 1996? Grunge or something? Barack & Michelle Obama were being famous, as always, and as proven in this latest glamor shot from the past, because all the photographers always want to take $exy pix of the Obamas. Read the exciting New Yorker bit about this mysterious “black and white” photo and find out how this quote from Barack ends: “And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have ….” [New Yorker]

{ 91 comments }

CrunchyKnee January 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm

That Muslin terra statue on the table proves that Barry was not born in the USA.

Gorillionaire January 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Damn, I used to have that same rug.
NO, THE ONE ON THE FLOOR, PEOPLE.

shortsshortsshorts January 12, 2009 at 12:46 pm

So this was b4 he bombed the WTC? Geez he looks so RADICAL in that photo.

CorkPopper January 12, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Gaaaah! Leggings and a shirt! Oh Michelle, I thought you were better than that…but at least it affirms that I wasn’t the only one who wore ugly shit in 1996. And my shirt was…flannel plaid… (hangs head in shame)

shanemacgowan January 12, 2009 at 12:48 pm

What was I doing in 1996? Creating a false US birth certificate and bitching about “whitey” in church. What was everybody else doing?

Deepthroat January 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm

…swamp ass?

TGY January 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm

How’d we wind up with such a good-looking president after all the dogs we’ve had? Excepting JFK, of course. Must be the Change.

V572625694 January 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Oh jeez, they were just as wonderful and thoughtful and caring before they went into politics. I hate them — we’re not worthy of a president like this.

selfevaluation January 12, 2009 at 12:51 pm

we are seeing a fair amount of presidential-sock in that picture.

magic titty January 12, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Barry looks like my grandpa. Seriously. Nice liquid leggings, Michelle.
And what’s that statue to their right? Barry’s birth certificate?

Deepthroat January 12, 2009 at 12:52 pm

its the promo picture for a Cosby show spin-off. (They dance funny in the opening credits too.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6vrAfceviY

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

… starburst?

justlen January 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Wow a Democratic First Lady without cankles. Now that’s change I can believe in!

Lorax January 12, 2009 at 12:53 pm

“And there are times when we are lying in bed and I look over and sort of have ….”

…the need to triple-lock the door?

…the realization that this room really needs to be soundproofed?

…the sweet, sweet love?

C’mon Wonketeers–let’s Mad Lib it.

Deepthroat January 12, 2009 at 12:55 pm

…the sudden craving for moonpies?

WadISay January 12, 2009 at 12:55 pm

When this picture was taken, Michelle had never been proud of America. (Gad, she has long legs, tho.)

yellowdogdem January 12, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=216225]CorkPopper[/re]: She was ahead of her time. Leggings are back (but thank God most people were them with a tunic now).

Serolf Divad January 12, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Is that the stock of an AK47 under the couch?

bitchincamaro January 12, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=216238]Lorax[/re]: “…to fight for the remote.”

WIDTAP January 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm

I don’t mean to be harsh on the pre-election Michelle, but that tied-tight-and-back hairstyle just wouldn’t do it for me. Her current loose-and-long style is the hotness we have come to expect.

…and Barry? Wingtips and knee length hose? Dude! Did you find that in your closet next to the short sleeve shirt and sweater vest combo from the Christmas pic?

One Yield Regular January 12, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Is that…? On the table there…?

Could it be that killer Zuni voodoo doll, the one that chased Karen Black around her apartment in “Trilogy of Terror”?

If so, I am impressed – though hardly surprised – that Obama found a way to tame it.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 12, 2009 at 1:00 pm

… the urge to dance around the room naked singing the Theme From Shaft?

PerhapsSo January 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=216238]Lorax[/re]: I just assumed “wood,” but my mind is dirtier than Unicorn Barry’s.

CorkPopper January 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=216242]yellowdogdem[/re]: Yes, the critical component of a second layer of ass coverage makes them acceptable now, even to me.

WIDTAP January 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=216238]Lorax[/re]: “…to apologize for the Dutch Oven.”

Servo January 12, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Nice cave.

freakishlystrong January 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Wow…now that’s a threeway I can believe in..

OffTheRecord January 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I love them. Help. Heart melting. Cynicism fading. Quick, someone say something awful.

finallyhappy January 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

A. Note his hand on her thigh
B. Anyone hear that Mr. Hopey(cause we are pretty close to him being the PRES) said that deciding on the new family dog was more important than Sec of Commerce- with which I totally agree.

Madeline January 12, 2009 at 1:08 pm

[re=216251]One Yield Regular[/re]: I thought I was the only person who remembered the original “Trilogy of Terror”, starring Karen Black and the killer voodoo doll that Peter Brady found on the beach in Hawaii.

soytrucknutz January 12, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Barry bin Obama is clearing going to bring his scary wayang kulit/shadow puppet muslin gods into the White House with him, AND THEY WILL BE HIS REAL CABINET. KEN LAYNE WHY DID YOU CROP THE SHADOW PUPPETS OUT OF THE NEW YORKER’S PICTURE? ARE YOU IN THE TANK FOR BARACK OSHADOWYBAMA?

Theodorick Of York January 12, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=216238]Lorax[/re]:
…a three person tent on my side.

justlen January 12, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I’m waiting for this pic to show up on a puma blog with Michelle sporting an MSPaint lipstick job.

sniper January 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Yes! I had a nicer apt that Barak in 1996. I rule.

wait, what

Servo January 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm

I’d eat the chips under those cushions.

Nathalie08 January 12, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Looking forwards their sexy time in the WH

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 12, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=216244]Serolf Divad[/re]: It is hard to recognise Michelle without her AK.

[re=216218]CrunchyKnee[/re]: That’s no Muslin Fertility statue, that is the bad-luck Tiki from The Brady Bunch!!!

ManchuCandidate January 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Damn! It looks like Barry won’t even give us a “Lusted in my heart for other women” Playboy interview moment.

Looks like we will see a similar article soon:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29788

Servo January 12, 2009 at 1:28 pm

[re=216282]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
They’ll need to keep a boot handy for those Republican tarantulas in the Lincoln Bedroom.

problemwithcaring January 12, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=216260]OffTheRecord[/re]:She still wears that sweater.

CollegeStudent January 12, 2009 at 1:33 pm

…morning wood.

Damn, these people are so F**king happy it makes me sick. “Travel, kids, politics, familiarty, tradition, mystery” Vomit.

Seriously though, the last drawing that the New Yorker ran of these two was much more entertaining. And factual, I mean, where’s the Angela Davis ‘fro?

Cape Clod January 12, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=216266]Madeline[/re]: Everyone remembers the story with the doll, but what were the other two stories in the trilogy about?

TGY January 12, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=216260]OffTheRecord[/re]: Basically, yes.

Servo January 12, 2009 at 1:41 pm

[re=216266]Madeline[/re]:
Looking under my couch has never been quite the same since I saw that.

american mutt January 12, 2009 at 1:44 pm

god damn. that shit almost makes me want to get married.

Mr Blifil January 12, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Makes me sentimental for the nights when all the white folks used to hunker down in front of the teevee to watch Cosby…

Servo January 12, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Where can I get a La-Z-Terrist sofa?

Mr Blifil January 12, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=216251]One Yield Regular[/re]: Tame it, shit! That’s just how he keeps his bitch in line.

wheelie January 12, 2009 at 1:50 pm

” . . . to face Mecca to pray to Allah, Who will guide me to fulfil His glorious will by destroying the infidel.”

undermedicated January 12, 2009 at 1:52 pm

I think they should go back to having identical haircuts, and force the same on the girls. Clearly a poodle is called for. Also,

Gopherit January 12, 2009 at 1:53 pm

no fistbump?

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 12, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I know what is wrong with that picture: their Al Qaeda controller has been photo-shopped out and replaced with a pillow on the couch.

Mr Blifil January 12, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=216282]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Brady Bunch Tiki? That would explain all those return trips to Hawaii he’s been making.

choinski January 12, 2009 at 1:58 pm

[re=216218]CrunchyKnee[/re]: That Statue was stolen in Hawaii from a nice family named “Brady”, who’s own trip was marred by the drowning death of their eldest son to surfing and the middle son’d demise to a giant spider.

jetjaguar January 12, 2009 at 2:01 pm

I had no idea that I’ve been wearing old-man socks all this time… I’m not even 30… Damn you all.

Nerdalicious January 12, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=216266]Madeline[/re]:
I’m in Retro Heaven! Wasn’t the doll/troll thang on Night Gallery too? Those 70′s drugs must have been great. The writers in the 70′s were more doped up than Blago at one of his poetry readings!

S.Luggo January 12, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=216229]V572625694[/re]: There’s a dead kitten under the brocade pillow.

PsycGirl January 12, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=216295]Cape Clod[/re]: There was one about a teacher who used mind-control on a student to toy with him and then toss him like Kleenex. If only. I don’t remember the third, but that statue one gave me nightmares.

Servo January 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm

“No time to argue. Through me the idol, I’ll through you the wheep.”
“Gimme the whip!”
“Adios, senior.”
[re=216321]Nerdalicious[/re]:
Thanks for helping me to remember where I saw it.

suchsweetthunder January 12, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=216219]Gorillionaire[/re]: I really ties the room together.

tallulah January 12, 2009 at 2:14 pm

im irritated by how happy and successful they are together.

some might say….BITTERs.

thatonegirlsays January 12, 2009 at 2:15 pm

This weekend when I was buyin’ fixins for my Hobo Stew, I saw on those fancy printed papers that Barack’s inauguration is illegal. I saw a photo of the “hospital” he was “born” in 8,000 miles from the golden shore of Ameraky. And all these “tribal” artifacts of rugs and fertility/terrorism/half breed Muslin worship are proving it all correct.

Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool January 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm

First of all, it’s “risk adverse”, Michelle, our PRESIDENT said so. Today. You ain’t First Lady yet with your fancy book learnin’.

And thirdly, you can just about hear the aborted fetuses squish under the sofa cushions.

pondscum January 12, 2009 at 2:49 pm

The story from 1996 is dated Jan. 19, 2008. Have we entered a time machine?

Neilist January 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=216249]WIDTAP[/re]: You’re crazy. She’s got those cheekbones to make that Afro-Sheen buzzcut really WORK.

Of course, she looks fine with a processed, because the straight, White-Mastra-In-The-Woodpile hair thing works for her as well.

But the close-cropped West African look has . . . STYLE.

(Spoken as a Stereotypical Angry Old White Guy Who Always Wanted To Bang Angela Davis — anally, of course.)

“Brown Sugar! What makes you taste so gooooooooooooooooooood.”

(Who’s that knocking? It’s not the Secret Service AGAIN, I hope . . . .)

Datsun510 January 12, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=216251]One Yield Regular[/re]: That was my exact thought! That was one mean knife wielding voodoo tiki thing. I saw that when I was about eight years old, and it freaked me out good. And now there it sits, right next to my president Barack Obama, waiting for just the right moment to whip out the knife again and start chasing everybody around the White House! What a great sequel that would make! Obama could save America from the Voodoo Tiki Terrorist right in his own house!

NoWireHangers January 12, 2009 at 3:10 pm

It’s a different world, oooh from where ya come from…

Datsun510 January 12, 2009 at 3:11 pm

….. “to stop sleeping with Bill Ayers.”

Save the Obama Drama for your Mama January 12, 2009 at 3:14 pm

This may come off as gauche but, I can haz 3somez?

hockeymom January 12, 2009 at 3:14 pm

That statue looks like it’s pooping.
(yes, I am a ten year old boy in my mind)

Nerdalicious January 12, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=216415]Datsun510[/re]:
Hey, Datsun510! I owned one of you & painted it pink! Kewl :)

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us January 12, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Is Barry wearing lipstick?

randomsausage January 12, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Thankfully Michelle’s EMO-terrorist look only lasted until 1999.

Datsun510 January 12, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=216437]Nerdalicious[/re]: I was a station wagon, white with a black vinyl top. I had a special combination of utility and kewl.

Nerdalicious January 12, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=216469]Datsun510[/re]:
Oops, you are right I believe I was the sporty 210. Which of course lent itself to being painted pink! (Originally yellow)

AxmxZ January 12, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=216446]CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us[/re]: Well, she did say he was the flamboyant one in the family.

ladymacbeth January 12, 2009 at 4:01 pm

13 years from hyde park grad school chic to the white house.

i’m feeling extra special good about my past 13 years right about now.

thank god there will always be PUMAs.

randomsausage January 12, 2009 at 4:11 pm

[re=216524]AxmxZ[/re]: “flamboyant”? Who have we elected, Oscar Wilde? I knew it, he’s going to come the inauguration dressed as Huggy Bear.

Bruno January 12, 2009 at 4:20 pm

A First Lady First: Valium Free!

Madeline January 12, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=216295]Cape Clod[/re]: One of the stories was about sisters, and Karen Black played both roles. One sister was prim and librarian-ish and the other one was slutty. I don’t remember the plot, but it was a acting tour-de-force by our Ms. Black, I’m sure.

Bruno January 12, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=216384]pondscum[/re]: The time discrepancy is clearly proof of all the LIES and DOCUMENT FORGERIEZ and LIEZ of the AFRO-ISLAMISIST TERRISM STENCH REEKING FILTH conducting CONSITITUTIONAL FRAUD and LIEZ against the AMERICANS PEOPLES

Or in other words, PALIN/PLUMBER 2012!! NEVUR FERGET 911!!!11!!!!!!!!!

One Yield Regular January 12, 2009 at 4:30 pm

[re=216266]Madeline[/re]:, [re=216415]Datsun510[/re]: Further proof: neither one of them is smiling in this picture.

For obvious reasons.

shortsshortsshorts January 12, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=216598]Bruno[/re]: He’s Muslim, also.

V572625694 January 12, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=216322]S.Luggo[/re]: Okay, I feel better now.

EnBuenOra January 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm

President Phil Lamarr?

SpikeyDog January 12, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Barry looks kinda like a girl I knew in College.

Dean Booth January 12, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Scandalabra January 12, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Holy shit! Do you think they were still “doing it” back then?

AxmxZ January 12, 2009 at 8:12 pm

[re=216558]randomsausage[/re]: He’s more Bosie than Wilde – he’s definitely the adored one in the marriage.

AnglRdr January 12, 2009 at 8:35 pm

[re=216846]Scandalabra[/re]: I bet they’re doing it right now.

In fact, my current fantasy is dependent upon such.

rachelv January 12, 2009 at 10:18 pm

My Dad used to wear those shoes.

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