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RETIREMENTS

Farewell, sad doucheVOINOVICH WON’T RUN AGAIN: Wasn’t he one of those “vulnerable Republicans” anyhow? The senator from Ohio announced he won’t be running for re-election in 2010. Instead, he will be replaced by a waxen replica of Joe the Plumber, which will shoot fire out of its anus every 15 seconds. [The Fix]


11:51 AM on Mon January 12 2009
By Sara K. Smith
714 Views

  1. Please God let Ken Blackwell run for this seat — best gift the Dems could get.

  2. EnBuenOra says at 12:01 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Well, that’s more value than you get out of the real Joe Not Joe the Plumber Not Plumber.

  3. Cape Clod says at 12:02 pm, January 12th, 2009

    It was his vunerability that made him so popular with the teen age girl set.

  4. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 12:03 pm, January 12th, 2009

    “… which will shoot fire out of its anus every 15 seconds.”

    That would make much more sense than what’s coming out of the real JtP’s mouth today.

  5. Car Ramrod says at 12:04 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I’m all for getting “Joe” the “Plumber” elected to Congress. Elect him for one term and no one will ever want to vote for a Republican again ever.

  6. Serolf Divad says at 12:05 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Voinovich would make a good name for a Vodka.

    Just one man’s opinion.

  7. Delicious says at 12:05 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Holy hot anus, Batman!

  8. Otto Reimer says at 12:09 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Wasn’t this guy older than Moses? At least now he can spend more time on his pet project, Demanding Cures for Pancakes.

  9. Otto Reimer says at 12:09 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Cape Clod: To bad he was in the Twilight of his career.

  10. CrunchyKnee says at 12:22 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Hot bald dumbass plumber anus action is what turns PUMA’s on. Go Ohio!

  11. PsycGirl says at 12:29 pm, January 12th, 2009

    “… which will shoot fire out of its anus every 15 seconds.”

    I know which action figure will be a top-seller come Christmas.

  12. Like fleas deserting a sinking dog or whatevs.

  13. 4tehlulz says at 12:55 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Joe the Plumber vs. Ken Blackwell primary — DO IT GOP

  14. Christian Science Monitor is already calling it for JtP.
    Who said there would be no snark left in the world after Bush left office.

  15. lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:14 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Voino says he “still has the fire in my belly,” but something must be blocking it from moving all the way through his digestive system. After retirement, he and Rod Blago will star in a roadshow, “The Vich’s of Eastwick,” featuring the charming duet, “Death to Croats.” Voino’s biggest contribution to Ohio politics no doubt was his carrying around a cardboard cutout of Howard Metzenbaum during his first, unsuccessful Senate race. Nomination should be offered to LeBron James — may be the only way to keep him in Cleveland.

  16. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 1:29 pm, January 12th, 2009

    When you are fourteen and a page, all Republicans claim to be vulnerable. But when you want to take it beyond just a physical relationship, they never are… they never are.

  17. Mr Blifil says at 1:59 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Stepping down? That’s a little drastic. If he just bulks up, shaves his head, and starts acting all belligerent, he could raise a ton of money in today’s GOP.

  18. space stout says at 2:06 pm, January 12th, 2009

    shit, once he leaves the entire Republican part of the Senate will be completely nutso right-wing crazies (brownback, coburn, cornyn) and the two, lonely, sane chicks from Maine. I haz a sad.

  19. Haha, a likely story. The fire would melt the wax. Also.

  20. George’s greatest hit: Fishing a penny out of a Statehouse urinal…

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/elections/candidate/583/ (scroll down to Profile section)

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