As eternal punishment for sending him $50 one night last summer, when you were drunk, Barack Obama sends a new email every day, demanding more money, for god knows what. Sometimes he makes Michelle send it, or David Plouffe, or Al Gore, or Joe Biden, or even Bill Clinton. As long as the email goes out with a famous political name in the From: spot, that’s good enough for Mr. Online Marketing.
Send $25, immediately for some old campaign fleece, to keep you warm now that you can’t afford heating! Donate another $40 tonight and Barack Obama will guarantee sunshine on Inauguration Day, do it now!
Today, however, our gimme-gimme new president actually sent an email to his followers without any money-begging. Instead, Barack just said something about somebody in the new cabinet.
We were stunned — and maybe a little hopeful, that America’s longest-running spam scheme was maybe coming to an end, now that Obama wasn’t only elected, but damned close to actually living in the White House, where we’ll all be paying for his basketball court and arugula cellar for the next eight 12 years.
The hope didn’t last very long:
From: Jill Biden (info@barackobama.com)
To: Ken Layne
Date: Fri, Jan 9, 2009
Subject: Our partner for changeKen –
We’re just 11 days away from the start of an important journey that will move our country in a new direction.
But as we all prepare for that journey, we can’t forget our commitment to help Hillary Clinton retire her campaign debt.
I got to know Hillary on the campaign trail, and I saw firsthand what a vital role she played in Barack’s election. And as our soon-to-be Secretary of State, Senator Clinton is working hard now to help Barack implement policies that will help us meet the global challenges we face.
Will you help us honor our promise and support our friend Hillary Clinton by making a donation of $100 or more today?
God damn you people. We are in a Depression, the “small donors” who supposedly got Obama elected are all BROKE, because of the DEPRESSION, and you motherfuckers are hitting us up for a HUNDRED DOLLARS to give to a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE ex-senator, ex-first lady and new Secretary of State, because she doesn’t want to dirty her hands by PAYING for her fucking LOSING CAMPAIGN with her own money?
Also, extra (negative) points for putting this dick move under Jill Biden’s name. The fuck did she ever do to you people?
Breaking: Obama sends national e-mail with NO plea for money! [Top of the Ticket]
Read More:
- Hillary Quits: 'I Will Extend My Congratulations To Senator Obama And My Support For His Candidacy'
- Hillary Decides: Obama's Cabinet Or Debtor's Prison?
- Joe Biden Begs For Hot $$$ For Hillary
- Hillary Clinton Not At All Sore That Obama Won't 'Lift A Finger' To Help Her Recoup Massive Campaign Debts
- Hillary Selling Random Crap At Inflationary Prices, Because Time Is Running Out!
{ 131 comments }
this is going out to a huge number of PUMAs, too, for what it’s worth.
Nice picture. See? The stache is back.
Dood I know your broke, but can I borrow $1000 bucks? This chick I now isn’t doing very well and all her PUMA friends are broke and living off alimony. Anyhooo, just thought I’d ask.
Also.
Yeah, I unsubscribed from the hope-mail precisely because of this shit.
I mean, I lost my job of three years, and am on unemployment, living off of soup and watery beer, watching the money in my bank account slowly tick away like a death-clock. And I’m supposed to give a hundred dollars to you motherfuckers?
If Hillary wants to get rid of her campaign debt, she would write another book, about her campaign, and all the PUMA’s will buy it and read it, with their cats.
But if this particular email is going out to Obama donors the PUMAs wil not ever see it. HRC must have her own spam cabal. Those messages probably come from Geraldine Ferraro.
[re=215402]MondoGecko[/re]: Ghost write that shit, homey BRO. Make it in the form of tragedy, and the Hilltards (who are NUMEROUS and INFINITELY POWERFUL) will worship you like that muslim President-Elect guy.
Wow… that Jill Biden e-mail is fucking ridiculous. People are going hungry, unemployment is about to his 10 percent, and Obama wants us to pay for HILLARY CLINTON’S CAMPAIGN DEBT, much of which was accrued long after the nomination was out of reach? Are you sure it’s Hillary Clinton, the multi-millionaire senator/first lady/SOS? Are you sure this is maybe not some e-mail asking for donations for a Hillary Clinton with a curable cleft palate?
Obama is looking more and more like every other politician ever.
That’s change we believe in.
I learned my lesson after giving a few bucks to John Kerry in 2004. He kept asking me for more money even after he lost.
[re=215406]pepe[/re]: That’s how he raises our taxes. We will pay campaign debts for the rest of our lives.
[re=215408]kingofnothing[/re]: THAT NOT FUNNY. BEES MOAR FUNNY GUY. I mean nothing by that other than your “handle”ofabob is “kingofnothing,” which sort of indicates an existential personal crisis of some kind– one that Jesus can’t forgive right now. TAKE YER DAMNED NUMBER HE WILL GET TO YOU.
First of all, sending money to political cinaidates “when drunk” is no fucking excuse, so stull it in a sack nad grind it like you got it Layne.
I dare you to figure out what that means.
Secondly, go fuck yourself.
Thirdly, I’m drunk, so you’ll have to excuse me.
Fifth. WAT.
I had a point. I really did. It had to do with the Obamas wanting moar monies for the campaign despite having won the campaign that I had no monires to give so in turn gave HOURS UPON HOURS of my FREE time to in order to call asshats who were already voting for Obama along side Sam Waterston who I literally had to DIRECT through a fucking “IM CALLING TO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE VOTING FOR” call. He was all like, ” Hi, this is Law and Order’s Sam Waterston, I’m calling to ask, if you are willing, at your convenience, … HELLO?” and I’m all like, hey Sam, just fucking make the call and say HEY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU VOTING FOR I DONT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT” and he was all like, Hey, I’m Sam Waterston, and I’m all like HEY GO FUCK YOURSELF NOW IM VOTING MCCAIN.”
whatever dude.
whatever, THIS SITE ROCKS
Off Topic: Uppity Woman is gaining on ~synthesis~
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-new-blog/
gogogo
[re=215411]Heywood Floyd[/re]: You have trolled well. May I have your quarterly? I WILL NOT PAY $19.95 a month for that shit. No way.
Unless of course, you parachute you in there.
“Also, extra (negative) points for putting this dick move under Jill Biden’s name. The fuck did she ever do to you people?”
I felt the same thing Ken – Jill Biden is too good for these assholes. But really – why doesn’t Hillary get money from the PUMA’s — in exchange Bill should have sex with as many fat chicks his heart can handle. She can also pay her own fucking debt.
And I thought I was her partner for change….
She should post an ad on Craigslist advertising one-on-one sessions with a hot Chelsea Clinton lookalike.
[re=215417]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That’s cool dude. I am accepting FIVE DOLLAR donations in exchange for a LOTTERY FOR POOR PEOPLE, a. k. a . “TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE” lottery for those of who couldn’t afford/wouldn’t even on the most extreme dare travel down to D.C. scartch offs, but I guess by now all the cool kids are under the big tent so I guess all this is meaningless wahtever SARA CALL ME!!!
[re=215423]Heywood Floyd[/re]: You deserve a better response, but first I have to smoke some of this “pot.” Gimme like 5 mins of yer time.
I’m not being sarcastic about this.
Umm, and as a side note, Mr. Layne, how much have you sold our souls, er, sorry, “cookies”, for today? As the old story goes (per the oldest profession): “it’s all @ Rent”……
See, this is why the PUMAs are worse than the Paultards. At least the Paultards pay for their own mistakes.
I’m glad somebody else had a miserable experience phone banking for Obama. Canvassing was no better. Instead of being part of developing neighborhood orgs that might last beyond the moment, we wasted our time utterly and forever by bugging undecided voters who had mostly told the campaign they were undecided as a polite way of saying fuck off. The rude, more effective version of ruck off had to wait for my knock on the door. I kept telling myself, these are the geniuses who won in Iowa and Texas so there must be some sort of plan here, but after a while it was clear that this was a campaign with more money than brains at street level, and most of the volunteer labor was wasted because there wasn’t anything else they could think to do with it. Apparently, cooperating with the local regular Dem organization was out of the question. I know this is way too serious for any of you, but this morning I tried to buy a fucking ticket so I could sit in some fucking bleachers and watch the parade go by, and by calling a mere two seconds late I was out of luck, as the fucking scalpers were there already.
[re=215423]Heywood Floyd[/re]: and I think [re=215425]Words[/re]: also, Wasting time is a source of MAN POWER. You pay people to waste your time (like me, I M A SLAV… also, SAVE MEE FROM MIE BOSS)
And policy goes forth so that the best curse/course for Heywood, is to like, never fucking change, also. That’s some good shit there, also “my friend,” also.
“Longest-running?” I hope you got an email from John Kerry about that.
I only donated TEN bucks when drunk! Why do they pursue so relentlessly? It’s enough to make me consider joining a program.
[re=215405]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That is an excellent idea. It will be called “18 Million Cracks,” with a foreword by Sarah Palin.
Also.
Consider this a part of the bargain. I don’t think anyone expects donors to actually raise money for Clinton’s campaign debt. It’s more of an elaborate Kabuki that Obama (wearing a Jill Biden mask, and nothing else) must put on so that Hillary will not shiv him.
[re=215428]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hey how do you do that fancy shit where you like back to the other stuff. Whatever tho, you and artbot2000 are totally vibing with me right now so it’s all good. Have you guys seen ZEITGEIST: THE MOVIE? PART THREE?!
I just watched part three and I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight. Toatal fucking ALEX JONES WET DREAMS in my sleep.
[re=215427]artbot2000[/re]:
I know your pain. Seriously. We were working from a list of people who were undecided, and who were, three days later, STILL UNDECIDED, even tho it was election day. It was frustrating enough for those of use who had to walk the ten feet over to the coffee thing that gave us coffee and made us angry when no coffee was given let alone if we had to actually walk the streets of MANHATTAN and ask the lunatics who they were voting for let along if they even knew that is was OBAMA v. MCCAIN or CAESAR salad) v. HANNIBAL.
I know you can feel me when I say whatever it’s all good in the end.
[re=215427]artbot2000[/re]: I actually had fun phone-banking for Obama, I just wish they had put some more thought into how they’d use the organization beyond November 4, instead of just treating it as a spam email list.
Ken Layne tried to get on me in an inner island, where womenz comb their lady-bitz into small depictions of Obama, so I have to FAP FAP FAP for like, ever. VOTE FER BARRY.
[re=215435]Heywood Floyd[/re]: YA MAN THAT IS LIKE MY TOP 1 ALL TH E TIME YOU LIEK PORNS? TOOoTES DOOOOD WE CAN CAN.
[re=215428]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Must be potent dope there, Shorts-etc. [upfront: took "early" (as in "deficient") in 401k, med. benefits, life ins. benefits, oh, and like I'll see this: my pension!! - from a subsidiary company of Time/Warner Inc.]..
Not sure what you’re protesting here; but, in my defense, I came in as a johnny-come-lately to this discussion.
Just sayin’ : everybody’s on the make/take. I do my best to offset the worst; but even the big Jesus couldn’t defeat the greedy in this environment– aka, Madoff (the latest) . So.
I’d like to be kissed at least once if I’m being fuc**d, you know? Believe me, I know it when it’s been done to me…..
This is fucking hilarious.
[re=215433]jagorev[/re]: God, I hope you’re right. It was pretty effing annoying reading those emails, back before I just started trashing them.
[re=215439]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hey dude, let’s not make this personal. I was toatally cool with you; why the hostility?
[re=215438]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Ken Layne sent me this link personally earlier. It has to do with fapping, so it’s probably not safe for work, unless your workplace is the desk of Jim Newell.
http://i42.tinypic.com/28qqjpj.png
Did anyone else notice that the pumas changed their acronym definition from Party Unity My Ass to People United Means Action? Still a bunch of Hellen Jamesions as far as I’m concerned.
Fucker better not ask me to help him move into the White House. You know he’s building up to it.
The onion was pretty much on the money when it published this one:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/black_guy_asks_nation_for_change
[re=215396]j6n[/re]: sumbitch looks alarmingly like Freddy Mercury….
[re=215444]FlipOffResearch[/re]: I hear you dude although i had a different political view as well as a different artistic view.
see, i’m all about peter ustinov, and although the opinion on the Peter Ustinov is “The Greatest Actor Ever Next to Joseph Votten” board I hear you dude cuz im all about the “Peter Ustinov,(is) My Aunt” movement.
[re=215448]Heywood Floyd[/re]: I don’t know what you’re talking about but I just want to say Peter Stormare is cool as hell. Like, anytime he says “John” in a movie, it’s so scary. I’m not even kidding. Watch a movie where he says John, you will literally piss yourself maybe.
If he had been running for president, McCain would be dead now and then Stormare would give a eulogy and McCain would literally piss himself in his grave maybe.
I love that guy so much, but my name is not John and he can’t hurt me.
[re=215448]Heywood Floyd[/re]: WTF!!! Ustinof!?
[re=215452]Trace[/re]: First of all you claim to not know what “I’m talking about” yet you make claims after thing that I’m not talking about. To this I say, whatever, but I think I know what you’re talking about but nevertheless- I still think that Peter Cotten is the better Peter her and I’ll tell you why.
Joseph Cotten was personal friends with ORSON WELLES and was toatally kick ass in both Citizen Kane AND The Magnicicent Agnesnens as well as The Third Man. Even though The Third Man was directed by some other dude most film critics give Welles the nod on that one since the style, artistically speaking, was so close to the nods of Orson Welles in such films such as Citizen Kane, and like, such as, and whatnot, the mercury theater online, 1932.
[re=215455]FlipOffResearch[/re]: Ya, even I can’t believe it half the time.
Hey, sorry for being off topic, but Little Green Footballs is in third on the Conservative list over at the Webblogs, behind the first two by about three thousand votes. I was thinking it might be fun if we all go over there and vote for LGF, so that they win or come close, and they will know the only reason they did so was because of our libtard blog, which would humiliate them so much.
Check it out: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-conservative-blog/
Citizen Kane blows. I give it the same criticism I give any James Joyce – Rule #1 make it interesting – compelling.
Check it out MINUS THE MLOGSPAM http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-conservative-blog/
[re=215459]FlipOffResearch[/re]: You must be trolling.
Citizen Kane is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, so totally interesting.
First off, the snow globe that is supposedly broken at the beginning when he says “ROSEBUD” totally breaks BEFORE the nurse enters the room where CITIZEN KANE says “ROSEBUD”. Therefore we are led to believe that the nurse entered the room BEFORE he aid “rosebud” and therefore BEFORE CITIZEN KANE survived the attack we are led to believe had killed him in the first act.
NEED I SAY MORE?
Without giving away a total spoiler i’ll lay back at this time. If someone who understands the aesthetic of film yet who fails to understand citiznes kanes place in the history of film wants to talk, do so, here or in private, just let me know. i’d be happy to respond to the nest of my abilitites just know that i will be fair and cool with whatever side you take.
peace.
HRF
I just finished reading the TPM thread. I like how Wonkette is spreading out like the Crimson Permanent Assurance or the drunken Confederates in South Park, fueled by ‘Smores Schnapps. I keep thinking of these poor normal people reading their boring blog, and then 134 comments about buttsex, blow jobs, truck nutz, snorg girls and how cute and innocent Jim Newel was when he was 12 and Ken dragged him the orphanage ( http://pumapac.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/jim-newell.jpg ), and what two years at Wonkette has done to him ( http://wonkette.com/403258/california-would-like-some-bailout-billions-too (but note the love of those around you Jim, you will always have that)) suddenly show up.
As the Wonkette horde spreads, there will be those that try to resist, but in the end, drunkenness, weed and buttsex will spread, and the world will be ours!
LAST!
[re=215459]FlipOffResearch[/re]: Yeah. James Joyce was a boring amateur with the English language. Good luck with your gene pool, flipped. Natural selection is awfully hard to beat.
I wonder how many people clearly see that our government is a failed experiment that is too late to save. The collapse of our grand idea will be the harvest of the arrogance of our leaders and the ignorance of our common people. Yeah, I’ll send HRC some fucking money, right after she massages my nuts and lies about how everything is gonna be okay.
[re=215452]Trace[/re]: WIN. And I’ll be hearing “John” in my damn dreams now. Thanks. And if I have to USE the john, I’ll think about it and piss myself before I get there. Well, depends. Speaking of J. McCain (see, I can’t even write it now), I wonder when we’ll ever get a delectable item on him again to snark on. Has he done a Houdini or what? Here in Arizona, seems like he’s been gone forever, mostly because he never gets us any DAMNED EARMARKS. He’s got this sissyass thing going about can’t take fed money LIKE THE OTHER 49 STATES because it would violate some secret downed jet pilot POW code of manhood, either that or Cindy is always telling him, “Don’t get them anything; otherwise, it won’t seem like WE have so much.” Never been able to figure it, we just know we never get shit here because of our Bizarro World Rep in DC. Anyway, I’m on fumes. You got me going with your way funny John Panic, but it’s time to enter the realm of nightmares, so have fun, party owls.
[re=215469]2druk2phluq[/re]: Send your money right here, to Heywood R. FLOYD, as supposed to Heywood R. Cloyd, as you seem to think it is. good luck with that as MOST EVERYONE who has poasted after HRFloyd (NOT Cloyd see 2001 a Space Odesseee) has made good use of my CAPS LOCK FTW technique and thus have given me residual WIN.
Cheers,
HRF
If the purpose of a film is to have an interesting beginning tied perfectly to a kick-ass last second surprise ending that can actually make a grown-ass man weep like a baby and drunk call his ex-girlfriend in freaking New Zealand, back in the old days before Skype when phone calls cost money, then “Citizen Kane” is the best movie ever, even better than “The 6th Sense” with Bruce Willis, I mean honestly I never even guessed that Bruce Willis was dead, that was a cool film.
On the other hand, if the definition of a cool film is all the stuff in the middle, well, maybe I’d have to watch it again, I was pretty stoned.
Meta Wonkette…has anyone taken the survey?
Wait – didn’t the PUMAs already pay of Hillaryz campaign debt with their unstoppable millions of supporters and their POWER and their ROAR?!?!?!
Citizen Kane broke all the rules of story telling in cinema in the same way that Charlie Parker broke the rules of music and created be-bop, or Jimi changed the rules about what guitars can do.
Citizen Kane still holds up, but it is not to be regarded as a mind blowing experience.
There was Cinema before Citizen Kane, and Cinema after Citizen Kane, and there is a noticeable difference in the art form. Camera angles, editing, lighting, expansion of dialog, all revolutionary in it’s time in a single film.
It’s quite a landmark, and all credit is deserved. Most of Hitchcock’s chops are knock-offs from Citizen Cane shots.
Get really stoned and put on whatever music you like with the sound off, and just watch it as moving light, it’s fucking brilliant.
Surprising. I thought ‘Chicago politics as usual’ would forever invade our political process.
This is what is known as a “shakedown”. Some people are just better at doing it than others.
Barry: small amounts, just enough so you don’t care, from the common man
Blago: super big amounts from people he targets cause he thinks they owe him fuckin somethin
It’s kind of like buying a cup of coffee for, and giving a quarter to that crazy homeless guy who sleeps in your doorway (of your cardboard box). Once you do it once, they suddenly think your their friend and then it just goes downhill.
[re=215479]cal[/re]:
Unfortunately Hillary invested all the ROAR with Bernie ROARnoff, and there’s nothing left but the sharp stench of cat box and tom spray on the furniture.
I’m going down to one of our AIDS hostels here in Houston and see if I can’t collect some money for Hillary, she must be hurtin’ really bad.
[re=215396]j6n[/re]: If you like the ‘stache action, you need to check out Mo’s Mustache Emporium: “You Grow it, We’ll Mo it”
http://www.mosemporium.co.uk/home.html
All those Puma boggerz ought to get second jobs or start selling their knitted goods to pay for this debt. If they are willing to do this, we’ll know they are perfect candidates for modern slavery.
you know, i have never made a contribution and i’ve been on this list for years…i suspect HRC or Amnesty International…
Having seen Citizen Kane for the first time a couple of days ago (I was watching it in between baiting PUMAs), I’d say it’s still interesting and compelling.
Trouble with watching a movie like that and being a douche like me, I spent most of the film wondering “What was it in particular that makes this movie so highly regarded? Am I appreciating it as much as it deserves? Is it too much a ‘You had to be there’ thing? Why am I watching this and not looking at porn?”
But I resisted the porn urge and kept with it and it was good. I’m just glad I don’t have to write a paper about why it’s super neat-o or how great the breakfast montage was or whatever.
Please vote for Simply Left Behind in the 2008 Weblog Awards, LBest Up and Coming Blog category.
I’m up against two right wing blogs of the most odious, freakish nature (Savage Politics and The Stupid Shall Be Punished), and sure need a big hand to beat them now, but I stand a chance if Wonkette would only endorse and activate its Destructomonster for me.
I’ll sell my soul. Worse, I’ll sell my body.
Please? There’s so little left of my body. I’m hoping to get the endorsement for the soul bit. That’s practically untouched.
“Obama is looking more and more like every other politician ever.
That’s change we believe in.”
That’s ridiculous. First off, Obama most probably knows nothing about this e-mail. He has other people doing this. And the mail simply asks you to donate to Hillary – it’s not forcing you to donate to her or something. How is this a reflection of Obama’s lack of consideration for poor, struggling families? It’s perfectly fine that they do not donate if they don’t have the ability. And finally, the terms between the Obama campaign and the former Clinton campaign were likely laid out right after the primaries ended, and Obama’s supposed to help Clinton retire her debt (even though she’s a multi-millionaire – that bitch).
Dear schnooks,
Mark Penn’s wine cellar has been seriously depleted by the heavy drinking brought on by running the worst campaign ever by a sure-thing slam-dunk candidate. Won’t you help us refill his selection of single malt scotches so Hillary doesn’t have to send Bill out whoring with billionaires just so they can keep two or three roofs over their heads?
Thanks, and you will not receive any more of these letters after Inauguration Day. On January 22, I am transferring this mailing list to the Committee To Re-Elect Obama. Please be as generous to them as you have been with me.
Sincerely,
The Cool Guy
Let me go get my checkbook.
I’ll just add my own story- not that anyone including me cares. I gave out candy for Obama at a Halloween parade- in Virginia- there were “McCain supporting” kids who would not take it- their shitty parents really got to them- what kid doesn’t take candy? Yeas, why would I give Hillary Clinton- who I didn’t support- who has more money than I will ever see- anything? Jill needs to send her message to the “hundreds of small Puma blogs” who are going to worship Shafeen(GO VOTE FOR Synthesis) if he gives his award away.
[re=215499]finallyhappy[/re]: I would have thought lil-GOPers would like the thought of eating a chocolate black man. Well, they’ll get older.
I’m surprised these millions of cracks aren’t giving to their hero Hillz. I guess that’s proof enough they are Republicans? Are any of these little websites promoting that at all?
[re=215495]actor212[/re]: Done, you get 4 legal, non-hacked, votes from me today. Good luck
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND ‘TOP SECRET’.
WE REPRESENT TOP NIGERIAN OFFICIAL HILARIOUS KLINGON. THIS LADY HAS BEEN DENIED PRESIDENCY DESPITE BREAKING MILLIONS OF GLASS CEILINGS AND PROMISING TO OBLITERATE IRANIAN THREAT. HER ASSETS ARE NOW FROZEN AND MUST BE REROUTED VIA EXTERNAL BANK ACCOUNTS. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO ALLOW MAKE USE OF YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT WE WILL DEPOSIT 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 DOLLARS. AS A TOKEN OF OUR APPRECIATION FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, YOU GET TO KEEP 5% OF TOTAL TRANSFER.
IN ORDER TO FACILITATE THIS TRANSACTION, A SMALL BRIBE WILL BE NECESSARY. YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE IN THE THIRD WORLD. PLEASE SEND CHEQUES MADE OUT EITHER TO NOTABLE AFRICAN BARACK OBAMA, BLAGO OR TO HILARIOUS HERSELF. NO MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED (100) SHOULD BE NECESSARY AT THIS STAGE.
SINCERELY,
HOPE (KEEP THE CHANGE)
I hate to admit (here) that I read Huffpo, but i was just over there reading a hysterical article about how the Log Cabin Republicans are in debt right up to their little gay bottoms.
They should search the closets in that little old log cabin, maybe, I bet there’s plenty of money in there.
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
I already sent him so much Joe Chip money that I cannot afford Ubik!
[re=215474]gurukalehuru[/re]: Bruce Willis was dead? Yeah, right. Next you’ll be telling me the guy in Memento killed his own wife or something.
Dear Wonketteers:
We are so close, yet so much more is needed. The votes are there, we just have to get them to the polls and I haz a sad asking since you’ve given so much, but reach deep into those hobo pockets (quit playing with yourself) and see if you can find a few bucks.
Bribes are now the only way we can beat back the Murphy threat. PUMAs on the left, Pumas on the right, and I’m stuck in the middle with you. $5 can mean the difference in a vote for synthesis.
Please send cash and in return we can have a shortsshortsshorts adult impersonator give each member a swedish meatball massage or carve your likeness into a new shiny ObamaTruckNutz from Franklin DeMint.
Dig deep…it’s for the children.
Am I the only one who seriously KNEW that ‘publican motherfucker Willis was dead the whole time? Plus, I hate movies with children in them. I hated The Sixth Sense. I refuse to watch any movie that has a child as a main character.
My first contribution was during the SC primaries, and I don’t even want to know who much money in dribbles and drabbles my husband and I have given. It is bound to be in the 4 digits. You put my sentiments about these emails perfectly.
I was relieved after the election because I naively believed they would stop asking, and I would stop giving. Now I expect them to go on and on and on. I live near Dulles and am still not certain that my company is going to let me take paid time off for my public sector contracting job in Rosslyn on the 20th. As a result, funding for the Inauguration is falling on deaf ears. I’m sure something in future will get me to cough up more money like a rat waiting for a pellet.
Heh, heh… I saw this coming and gave all my money to the NRA last summer, Hopey and his minions leave me the fuck alone.
And why the hell can’t Hillary make Mark Rich and Susan McDougald pay off her campaign debt?!?
[re=215491]Trace[/re]: Haven’t you seen that Real American Hollywood blog from yesterday? Citizen Kane is a piece of trash because of all the wartime raping. And the rich guy is made to look evil. And his second wife to look stoopid – you know the talented opera singer one – no Republican wife should look stoopid. It should be banned, or burned or both, especially from the Wasilla Library.
[re=215428]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I love your baked typing, Shorts! Really. It’s sweet.
Its unfortunate that after all your efforts at cheating and such, your adopted boi “synthesis” is going to lose, we will make sure that our great friend uppity woman wins in a landslide. that is all, carry on….
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Bring it on, O Mistress of Fail.
Maybe you can prowl the Weblog superdelegates, since that worked so well for you in Denver.
[re=215499]finallyhappy[/re]: “why would I give Hillary Clinton- who I didn’t support- who has more money than I will ever see- anything?”
Exactly.
Why can’t she send out emails soliciting funds – to her own supporters? Barry got elected, that should have been the end.
OH JEEBUS I had to be drunk last night.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: THAT’s hAWT. There’s no business like lesbo business like no business I know.
[re=215515]Bruno[/re]: Wow, that sounds like a hilariously bad blog that I need to seek out.
I sort of felt the opposite watching the movie. I doubt this is uncommon, but I was finding myself liking Kane almost against my will.
But I guess maybe if I’d been living during the time of Hearst, I’d have been less sympathetic. Who knows?
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: And for your next trick, will you make your pigs of the week fly?
[re=215437]jagorev[/re]: Well yes, exactly. Now I seem to be on some kind of sucker list so plastic turd Terry Macauliffe calls me up and PERSONALLY requests my opinions and $$$ regarding and funding his abortive quest for high office in Virginia. I thought Plouffe was gonna build some kind of ongoing national movement and thus far it seems to be modeled on Amway.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: What’s with the “boi” crap? You’re trying too hard.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Initiating perl script cheatz routine. Rotating the Geosphere. Plugging it into the archie gopher. Tap tap tap. Numeric fixed-point binary in native byte order. Commence!
Please vote for ~ syntehesis ~ because his blog is great, Shafeen is a nice guy and UppityWoman is a horrible, horrible person:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-new-blog/
Please vote for Rumproast because every time you do, a PUMA loses its roar:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-small-blog/
End script.
[re=215527]DemmeFatale[/re]: YOU BAYS WITH YOUR BOUYNESS. STUPID GAIS.
Looks like every post is going to devolve into a PUMA post until these bitches have been vanquished. Stay the course!
[re=215509]Mahousu[/re]: you mean killed his wife’s killer. While we’re talking movies, did anyone watch Mephisto — if not rent it — it is great. I don’t know why but the main character reminds me of Christopher Hitchens.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: has to be a fucking bot. No one is that boring all of the time.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: baisez de vous le cochon flithy va mangent la merde dog’t – oh ya and don’t forget to donate to your high priestess so she can pay her stupid campaign strategist.
[re=215528]Rumproast[/re]: W3 4R3 th3 1337 H4CKZORZ.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: SUDO shut the fuck up.
By, the way, let me just take this time to let formally say that Rumproast is fucking fantastic. Seriously, one of he good things that came out of his completely ridiculous WARBLOGGINGZ, is that I discovered your blog.
[re=215528]Rumproast[/re]: Rump! Hey! Remember me? Well fine then. Still cool bro.
[re=215521]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: DUUDE Uve got more ballz than hilz. sheeit.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: U speld “~synthisis~” rong.
[re=215531]Dreamer[/re]: no, i think he was right when he said “killed his wife.” truly a strange film.
[re=215531]Dreamer[/re]: You need to rewatch the last 5 minutes.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: How much have you & your Pumas donated to Hillary in the last 2 months?
[re=215518]strangeappar8us[/re]: i love you. Mistress of Fail. LOL.
[re=215537]gurukalehuru[/re]: then I must’ve watched the wrong film – I think the other guy killed his wife by mistake but the end was kind of ambiguous – I thought it alluded to Leonard killing the man who killed his wife, no.
[re=215528]Rumproast[/re]: Wow, that reminds me of the movie War Games, well done. See you at Rumproast soon.
[re=215456]Heywood Floyd[/re]: Orson Welles was ahead of his time – he was socially progressive as well.
[re=215539]Mahousu[/re]: since I have nothing to do today, I’ll rent it — I was sure of my conclusion.
[re=215503]micapam[/re]: Hey, buddy. Get off my turf. No one get’s to bring up urgent financial matters but me.
[re=215517]MurphyPUMA[/re]: I’m sure Shafeen will by just as devastated if he doesn’t win as anyone here will be if Wonkette doesn’t win. That is to say, not at all devastated. Go hitch your identity to something useful.
Are the PUMAS still here?
Hilary Lost.
You can go now.
The pumas aren’t here because it’s BBQ rib day at Old Country Buffet.
I unsubscribed from the Hope emails because of Rick Warren, so I’ve been spared the torture. And Hopey promised there wouldn’t be any more torture.
Hillary, pay up, you got the cash money, ho.
[re=215555]iburl[/re]:
My bitch better have my money
Through rain, sleet, or snow
My whore better have my money
Not half, not some, but all my cash
‘Cause if she don’t,
I’m gonna put my foot in her ass.
Hi, I’m back….is Hilz still in the bunker in New York State, threatening to fight on for the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party?
Um, no?
Well at least she’s true to her princi–
Um, really? She took a JOB from the guy they say STOLE—
HAHAHAHAHA, eff you PUMAS, go watch Geraldine Ferraro on FOX. Who was wrong. And is a loser.
Nom nom nom on your bitter elephant ear.
[re=215551]facehead[/re]: The PUMAs will ALWAYS be here.
As long as there is a child crying in the night, they’ll be there.
As long as there are fugitive husbands and late child-support checks, they’ll be there.
Wherever you see a crazy dame holding a McCain/Palin sign and rattling away on YouTube about how evil men sold her to a Lithuanian side-show owner, they’ll be there.
And every time you see a political movement so illogical, so inept, so comically full of itself, so lacking in an even a rudimentary awareness of its own weirdness, and so transparently doomed to failure — well, you can bet your boots they’ll be there, too.
The PUMAs will never truly be “gone.” It just seems like that when “General Hospital” is on.
On the subject of the weblog awards; stop far right lunatic Melanie Philips in the UK category. Vote for the very boring and functional Created in Birmingham (a blog about art stuff that was created in Birmingham) because it is the only one that can beat the evil witch
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-uk-blog/
Rumproast is also my new imaginary BF, supplanting flank steak and pork loin. Have you voted yet for Fuck You Penguin as Best Pet Blog? Please do.
[re=215563]Scandalabra[/re]: Kevin Rumproast is one of my new imaginary children along with Shafeen- sadly, smarter and more productive than my own kids
“Jon Bon Jovi to headline fund-raiser for Hillary Clinton campaign debt”
Problem solved! And good times for all.
[re=215410]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Jeez, shorts Ease up on kingofnothing. Unless he’s a PUMA in diguise–nah, that can’t be. He gave money to a Democratic at some point in history.
PS Anyone from the state where Bernie Sanders comes from? He rocks. I know the state’s New Hampshire or Vermont, but I always get them mixed up. Dust gets in my eyes.
[re=215411]Heywood Floyd[/re]: I don’t remember seeing your name around here much but, sadly, judging by your post you’ll fit in all too well.
I joined the PUMA facebook group, posted some smack about Wonkette and, wouldn’t you know, it was promptly deleted. These motherfuckers hate hate hate free speech, open debate and anything that might poison their tiny, tiny solipsistic world.
And hey MurphyPumaCunt — why haven’t you answered the question? You gave munnies to McCain in 2000 and nothing to democrats, including hillz, since. Yes? So you are a tent-wearing, tv-dinner devouring, post-menopausal, encrusted vagina-having FRAUD, yes? Why gives a fuck about the stupid web award. If we are not throwing up on ourselves from imbibing toxic brews of booze & pills then we remember to vote for our favorites. You can call all 12 recipe-sharing PUMAs you know and your humorless, ideologically contradictory, dim-witted fucktard of a shitty blog and those it supports will still lose. Also. FRAUD.
[re=215412]MisterLoki[/re]: I did my part. I’ve voted for everything the wonkeratti or editors have recommended. What do I get for the effort? Oh, that’s right. The respect of my peers. Fuck you, too.
Just across the border (and through the hellscape of D/FW) here in Austin you get my respect as well, DBB. And here’s to hoping the Bell’s Palsy goes away. In the meantime, I’ll think of George Clooney and you together, sufferin together. Even if you’re not together. Unless you hate him.
My, my, everyone keep your shirts on, unless you have a nice rack that is… I still say buy, if you have any money these days, BEER, AMMO and PORN!
[re=215458]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I what has rapidly declined into not even interesting enough to keep even my bored, afflicted attention, you have offered a ray of sunshine. IF they win, we can all register and keep offering, “Your welcome, the wonkeratti.”
Hey, it’s cold, dark, my head/eye hurts too much to do anything but hang our around here, so it’s something.
[re=215469]2druk2phluq[/re]: “Yeah. James Joyce was a boring amateur with the English language. ”
I’m so sorry, I’d thought I was on a infantile blog called wonkette.
[re=215480]skutre[/re]: In terms of inventive camera angles and editing, I would have to give that to “The Passion of Joan of Arc (1929)”
[re=215563]Scandalabra[/re]: Wow. I just went on Fuck You, Penguin and I wish I could vote for it 10 times each day.
[re=215613]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I will make you a Blingee!
I gave 30 bucks during the campaign and they didn’t send me the promised T-shirt and now I don’t have anything to wear to the Inauguration.
The new prez is a RCH away from joining the dickwads that want we to buy discount printer ink on my Spam List.
But you always get sammiches when you work it out.
1/2 million dollars on whitehouse silverware. Blame Joe the Plumber.
Ok Ok let me explain, why I lumped Citizen Kane in with James Joyce. Citizen Kane is listed on most compilations of the greatest movies ever as number 1. Similarly, Ulysses by Joyce is considered the greatest story of the 20th century. Naturally after hearing for decades that Citizen Kane was the best movie ever, I couldn’t wait to see it. And when I did – meh. On Joyce, I read Dubliners not Ulysses, but once again – meh. I honestly looked forward to both works as being enlightening – transformative. So, on being wildly disappointed I have a bit of a grudge. That doesn’t make me a luddite. At least I read it and I saw it. Maybe one day I will attempt Ulysses, but God just typing that reminds me of looking forward to having a tooth filling preformed. If that makes any sense.
[re=215724]FlipOffResearch[/re]: Try “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man” by Joyce and stay away from Finnegans Wake. The scene in the confessional is work opening the book.
[re=215724]FlipOffResearch[/re]: ‘Englightening – transformative’ – you Americans are so bloody reductive. ‘What will this highly rated product *do for me*?’ Philistines, the lot of you.
Maybe the donation requests are actually an effort to pay off the huge deficit dubya ran up.
I joined wonkette because you finally convinced David Pfouffe to stop sending me all those guilt-inducing emails. Today there was a couple of videos. Thanks.
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