Wonkette
You people thought we were joking about the random black and crippled guilt-bait Blago brought on stage during his press conference, but here they are, alongside, you know, a DEAD ILLINOIS CHILD to whom Blago had tried to deliver cheap prescription drugs, only to find that the evil state legislature had already murdered the child with ear poison. And they want to impeach Blago for a murder they committed?? [NYT]
That kid just couldn’t wait to try out his awesome new granite tomb.
DONT IMPEACH BLAGO!!1! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!1~!
It’s a tragedy. Rest in peace, little Vinny Foster.
They look like the group of losers Michael Moore kidnapped and took to Cuba.
There are no words for this man. Well perhaps asshat. But besides that no words.
Oh yea, and douchebag. Also.
That is the greatest press photo in history. Period.
I am so proud of my former state! I don’t think Chicago has seen such a geek parade since the 1934 World’s Fair!
Pappy Bushy Smearnov Blago is the Savior of Humankind!
And he steals millions from Children’s Hospitals!
What a complex dude.
No, the kid was knocked over by Blago’s poignant poetry reading
(You would have had to be there in person to understand)
I was crying so hard I needed oxygen
Somebody’s trying to score points by bringing their narcoleptic ute to the press conference.
You idiots. Blago didn’t kill that child.
The poor tot was taken out by The Governor’s murderous hairpiece (AKA “Merkin No. 1″), using a 6.5 mm Mannlicher Carcano from the sixth story window of His Honor’s forehead.
Oh Jesus, this story keeps giving.
Y’know, Blaggy’s pose in that shot really makes it look like he just capped the kid.
“Every hour the impeachment proceedings go on, another hostage will be killed!”
At what point did the cameras show Blaggy with a single tear running down his cheek while a countdown happens leading to a nuclear blast and says:
“These are the stakes! To make a world in which the Gubbiner of Illinoize can take bribes, or to go into the dark. They must not impeach ME, or we must die.”
He may be Gov. Douchehat, but he’s been giving some most excellent performances, and drugs or not he sports some big Trucknuts. I mean shooting a kid in the back with his index finger! How’d he do that? Magic powers he hides under his forehead hair flap?
Pappy Bushy Smearnov Blago is Lil Jesus!
He pointed the fickle finger of fate &/or the finger of God at the poor kid.
Please get Rick Warren or John Hagee to revive the child
I <3 Blagz. He can football my Merkin any time he wants (through the prison bars, or “pretend” against the prison glass, whatever the case may be)
I think it was the overwhelming smell of Blago’s taint that did in that poor child.
Taint no escape from Blago’s taint.
What is black Wilford Brimley doing there??? Doesn’t he have a cockfight to attend or something?
FunkyPalmettoBug: Needs more hookers.
I watched the press corps OPENLY roll their eyes as blaggodix left. They must prefer Browning to Tennyson.
To get some image of the Illinois legislature, follow these simple steps:
* picture a cartoon character from every ethnic group on earth, as depicted by that group’s blood enemy;
* dress that character at Wal-Mart;
* give it a lobotomy;
* give it its choice of Irish Whiskey, slibovitz, Ripple, meth, etc.;
* crank up headbanger polka music, full volume;
* watch the fun.
Is that senate candidate #7 or client #9?
Re: the inexplicable hairdo. Maybe he has, like that William S. Burroughs character Spare Ass Annie, “an auxiliary asshole in the middle of his forehead, like a baneful bronze eye…”
I just figured he was gonna make the dead rise and the lame walk. Don’t know what he would’ve done about the badly dressed, though.
j6n: Do you know I was just about to fucking say that?
I wuv woos.
Blago and Sarah Palin should start a “Nothing Is Ever My Fault” Club. It was Sarah’s handlers who forced her to say stupid shit to Katie Couric, and Blago’s only sin is loving the poor people too much. Plus a little bribery and saying Fuck a lot.
huffpo in wonkette drag?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/obama-inauguration
Filthy guilt jackal!
How much did Blagosphere pay these people to pretend they are sick?
TJBeck: Blago looks like he pays a 1000 an hour for women to puke on him, or dress up like a penguin for sexual arousal purposes. You know there’s some young female ex-Blago staffers with stories to tell.
Click that link now and you get a bloodshot pic of the Rainbow Room, failing.
Fucking NYT.
SuperNerd: This is called a Quid Pro Quo. He saved their asses with Canada and now they must claim he did no wrong.
Well, maybe Josh is reading Wonkette; his post at TPM starts
Okay, fine, Blagojevich is clearly insane. I’m sitting here at my desk, listening to him chatter on in the background about the impeachment vote. And he’s going on about how his policies let someone get a liver transplant, and should he really be impeached for that? It’s like some bizarre performance art. Now he’s quoting Tennyson.
Geeze, TPM is policy and analysis. Is this what is to be expected as the current administration winds down? The blogs go crazy. or maybe it is just Friday afternoon. i’m up for drinks.
DoctorCulturae: Mind bullets.
Blaggo lured these off the El with the promise of hot soup and a perogie. Disgraceful.
DoctorCulturae: My bad. Didn’t notice the UFO hovering over the flags. Clearly Blagoyakyak’s secret powers derive from the Naiphtons of planet Nr4KpY who all have Ted Koppell Hair.
I’m starting to think (am I crazy?) that Blago might be a nice (yet misguided) guy just tryin’ to help the folks out. Have I been seduced by the cult of Blago???
Uncle Al: Blagosphere & Palin belong to the secret Gov. Society: Governor’s That Would do Well In A Despotic Country Society, But Sometimes Fail Here, or Might Become Vice President.
Jaded: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
That group thought they were going on the Howard Stern Show. Boy, were they disappointed.
mookworthjwilson: Nah, check the expression. That’s Samuel L. Jackson in disguise. And he has had it with this muthafuckin’ governor at this muthafuckin’ podium.
If I could still post pics to Wonkette, I’d have to photoshop a smoking gun into Blago’s hand.
SuperNerd: 100 years ago he would be prince among governors. Now he’s too obvious, even for Illinois. He WILL get a sleazy talk show on Fox, no doubt.
You have to pay Blago a lot of money to be a cripple on that stage.
OT, but what the heck:
Help me put two conservative blogs back into the pen: The Stupid Shall Be Punished and Savage Politics
Vote for Simply Left Behind in the Weblog Awards
SuperNerd: Whatever you do, don’t look at the hair. The hair is his Siren Song.
chascates:
Cantcha just see O’Reilly in his Grinchly delight schmoozing with Blago & Burris the new tag team on the WWF?
Whatever. That kid totally had it coming.
JadedDIssonance: TIE ME TO THE MAST, BUT QUICK
JadedDIssonance:
Like white collar criminals & Madoff types stash cash in their fake heads of cabbage & fruit in the fridge, Blagosphere hides his pay for play stuff in that mountain of evidence (I mean hair)
Maus: Forsooth! What wretched keening assaults my eyes? Ah, tis his ghastly tie.
When that guy in the wheelchair came out at first, I thought it was his lawyer…with a tan…and a new neckbrace.
actor212: Shit, I’ve been voting for Malkin for the same reason that I’m bankrolling Bible Spice in her bid to run the Republican party. I’d also like to support Joe the Plumber in all his endeavors, but am not sure how to go about it — would buying up the entire stock of his teevee converter box thingy ensure his continued presence on the world stage?
actor212:
Voted for “SimplyLeftBehind” (I actually read today’s blog before I voted.)
BTW: SavagePolitics commenters be puttin’ the major hate on the Wonkette. Fuck them. http://savagepolitics.com/the-cult-of-ambiguity#comments
You can’t spell Amerkin without the merkin, y’all.
JadedDIssonance: Out, damned spot?
Don’t tell Newell but he didn’t win the daily pig.
Could somebody please phone the Hague and see if they’ve still got a vacancy in the Milosevic suite?
That’s a pretty good picture, but it’s nothing compared to that Santorum one. Maybe if the guy in the wheelchair had been clutching a little tiny doll in its own little tiny wheelchair or something while fighting back tears.
…hey guys! Wanna see what a spinning roundhouse can do to a little kid?! Ooooops!
justlen: Who did? Did Wonkette get a group pig?
As Jonathan Alter said yesterday about Palin on the MSNBC: “The Nixonian Nanook of the North”
So goes Blagosphere. The Nixonian Whack of the Windy City. As in, they can’t kick around Dick Nixon anymore. So, I will use a bunch of poor sick people to push my useless point home, & then it will come back around like a boomerang & whack me in my pay for play stash hair.
Jaded: Me thinks he looks like a funeral director in that suit! Could it be a portent of things to come? As in the demise of Gov’s Non-Governorship soon?
JadedDIssonance: My thoughts were more Strangelovian.
do you think he will sell the spot left open by the small dead child? i think the family would be very grateful and thank him with a 64% cut.
…is it me or does this look like one of those televangelist FAITH HEALING sessions?!
AngryBlakGuy:
Yes!
My above post:
Pappy Bushy Smearnov Blago is Lil Jesus!
He pointed the fickle finger of fate &/or the finger of God at the poor kid.
Please get Rick Warren or John Hagee to revive the child
chascates:
Some doctor that sued his Wife over a kidney.
They obviously missed the short but very good Murphy thread.
the guy in the wheelchair looks like he is hiding the precious ring of middle earth from blago.
Ah, ear poison. A timeless classic, from Claudius to Kahn Noonien Singh.
sevenrepeat: hiding the ring in his taint of course.
shortsshortsshorts: Aw, gawrsh!
justlen: I heard about that. He donated his kidney to his wife and now she wants a divorce so he’s suing for big bucks. He couldn’t be a gentleman and just ask for it back.
TJBeck: Just wait, I think there’s plenty of hookers and blow and Truck Nutz still in the dark in this saga…
Please go and vote for Shaheed - synthesis and also Driftglass. They are in the categories of Best new Blog and Best Individual Blog. synthesis is only ahead by 1200 and Driftglass is behind- if we can get 11,000 votes for Wonkette- we can help out these younguns too.
I’ve seen this somewhere before… ah, yes, this is the “you send one of his to the morgue” part of The Chicago Way.
Am I the only one ol’ Blago is growing on? Can we please give him reign over IL forever and always?
SuperNerd: …hehehe! I want Blago to walk over to the guy in wheelchair, place his hand on his forehead and shout “RISE”! Then watch him get up and C-WALK!
chascates: Dear Abby,
I donated a kidney to my wife and now she is divorcing me. What is the right thing to do, politely request she give it back or wait until the divorce goes through and cut it out of her with a hunting knife?
Sincerely,
Armed and Conflicted
Voyou Charmant:
Naw, you’re not the only one.
I wrote this earler:
I’m starting to think (am I crazy?) that Blago might be a nice (yet misguided) guy just tryin’ to help the folks out. Have I been seduced by the cult of Blago???
All the sick people behind “The Ultimate in Douche Technology” are actually trained mercenaries from Planet Toglatum. They were forced to leave their planet in search of better work. Now that Blago doesn’t have any money, he was forced to take them in. At least he got them health care for it, and the LEGISLATURE IS STRINGING HIM UP FOR THAT REASON ALONE.
SuperNerd:
BLAGOJEVICH/EDWARDS 2012: Hair America Can Believe In
We’ve figured out how you and rumproast have been cheating. We know It’s not through a proxy server. It should be easy to demonstrate how it is done with a script of the procedure. Our resident perl hacker is pulling it together. Of course, we would only be doing this for documentation and informational purposes, not cheating, and we’ll send the information to the proper people when we’re finished gathering our information. We hope the Weblog Award admins will keep a close eye on this problem. Hey, if it were me, I’d disqualify you silly boiz, but it’s not my decision. Cheaters ruin the fun for everyone by gaming the system and harrassing blogs like us. It’s not a good way to be popular. Oh Yeah, stay tuned for the pig of the day…
j6n:
You haven’t lived until you have seen this:
Monty Python Organ Donation While You Are Still Alive Skit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aclS1pGHp8o
Yours Truly,
SuperNerd
MurphyPUMA:
Murph, you missed the pig of the day, it washed up on a beach in Britain. It’s a couple of posts down.
MurphyPUMA: Our Cobol hacker is preparing a double-secret whochi-do!
MurphyPUMA: Also, that, also.
MurphyPUMA: Also.
Car Ramrod:
These 2 really got themselves in a hairy situation!
OPEN THREADS AT SAVAGE POLITICS:
http://savagepolitics.com/the-cult-of-ambiguity#comment-121605
Car Ramrod: Make it EDWARDS/BLAGOJEVICH and you’ve got yourself a deal.
chascates: Also, jinx, also.
shortsshortsshorts: Man, if this country has a surplus of anything it’s people who are
Our current vice president wishes he had balls the size of Rod’s.
Nixon is spinning his grave with envy.
MURPHY is starting to give me teh creeps, no thread is safe
shortsshortsshorts: Ah hem. If this country has a surplus of anything it’s of people who are ROCK FUCKING STUPID!
And yes, also.
SuperNerd: He’s sort of like the Willie Stark (Huey Long) character in All the Kings Men. He had better get an attractive young journalist to start diggin’ up some dirt. You know, dirt’s a funny thing. Some of it rubs off on everybody.
lovekills: He must be on tape delay. The same info was referenced this morning here:
http://wonkette.com/405340/blagos-bag-of-tricks-is-empty#comment-213964
MurphyPUMA: BAIT AND SWITCH!!! Dr. Richard Batista is not a Wonkette editor or poster.
MurphyPUMA: We’re bored with you. Go away.
rocktonsammy:
You can’t kick Dick Nixon around anymore hehe
chascates: great, so where is the pig already
MurphyPUMA: A more likely scenario: More people read wonkette because it’s better. The end.
You people really are worse than the Paultards.
Maybe if the PUMAs had a blimp they could win a webby or whatever the fuck?
There goes the MSM again, trying to make an innocent Gov look bad in this obviously photoshopped photo. It’s like when Norm Colmans ‘wife’ was in the same kitchen as him.
Rodney Badger says at 6:32 pm, January 9th, 2009
- Reply
MurphyPUMA: BAIT AND SWITCH!!! Dr. Richard Batista is not a Wonkette editor or poster.
I’m sure his screen name on here is shortsshortsshorts
Oooh! A perl hacker. Let me know when he goes chomp! Let me know when your hackers move up to technologies that weren’t made before I was born. I mean sweet Jesus Tits woman! I’m almost 30!
lovekills: Sorry, we ate it around noon. Good, but more fat than is good for you.
MurphyPUMA: Pig of the Day? Perhaps sow whore diamonds for WendyK and Seminole??? I await with bacon breath.
Voyou Charmant:
Maybe Sean Penn can play Blagosphere in the movie!
Hmmmm…..Illinois, Louisiana, Alaska….could it be???????? SATAN?
Blago, Long, Palin
Nostradamus predicticted this 666 scenerio in some quatrain somewhere
american mutt: You fools opened up the can of worms so deal with it.
MurphyPUMA: Also, please explain your cunning plan. It seems like you believe that proving that it is possible to hack the stupid weblog awards will show that Wonkette and Rumproast are hacking the awards. That is like saying that because it is possible for a PUMA to walk past an Old Country Buffet means that a PUMA will walk past an Old Country Buffet. Which we know is impossible. You follow me? Of course not, you are retarded.
chascates: shit, that really sucks, I’ve been working on my J. Beegle look
foreach $puma ($pumas){
print”Whore: “. $puma.”: buttsecks/n”;
}
I am lobbying for a last minute Bush-Blago pardon. We must not let hair like that leave the political scene. It is all follicle envy on the part of the Illinois legislature.
MurphyPUMA: When are you going to realize nobody here is cheating. We’re beating you because (wait for it) nobody reads your shitty blog. Oh, and you looked ridiculous on Fox. But wow, totally right about Obama not being able to win a general election.
MurphyPUMA: 0 for 1. You’ll get there though!
MurphyPUMA: shortsshortsshorts is a DOCTOR!?!?!? Oh, I get it! A COMEDY doctor!!!!
And sweet McFarty cockpants, you don’t need a proxy to cheat at this, because it uses flash cookies and assumes a state of trust on the client, like some kind of fucktard. Delete the flash cookie and you are virginal again. Though again might be a stretch in your case. Bobbling loadpants of the clueless you people are fucktarded.
MurphyPUMA: Actually I am Dr. Richard Batista, also.
Does anyone else see Darragh Murphy on TV and think “man, that would be like fucking a bag of antlers.”
MurphyPUMA: So does that mean that shorts won pig of the day? AWESOM!!! I had him in my Pig of the Day Office Pool.
Also, j6n can rot in hell for his paren style! FULL CODE BLOCKS BABY!
shortsshortsshorts: Is he your Mexican personality who only comes out at night? In Mexico?
MurphyPUMA: we don’t like our worms canned. we prefer them fresh.
Jim Newell: I believe Dr. Batista is of Indian and Pakistani extraction.
justlen: I like you. Please stick around for a long, long time.
When I saw her on teevee my penis screamed and inverted itself into my body.
MurphyPUMA: oh my god, you’re making me sleepy murphy. i haz a boredom.
j6n: LOL
Kev-O-Tron:
There’s a medical term for that, it’s called turtling.
I get that whenever I read the kitty sites. My WIfe swears my wang is shrinking.
Jim Newell: Si. Muy MAL, Senor Personality.
The Beast will rear it’s hairy pay for play stash head in the wind like city in the middle of the big country.
He will wear a funeral looking suit at his 800th poetry news conference on the river chicogoen.
Many sick people stand or sit or lie on the floor & take money to say they like him
This is when satan and some gal named Sarah start runnin’ everything.
~Michel Nostradamus
1554 Provence, France
i think ol’ wheelypants there is a PUMA sleeper agent. he clearly killed that child for its delicious stem cells, and to remind blago that if he ever stops trying to tarnish obama’s name, he will be next.
bago: You will never win the obfuscated perl contest.
Rodney Badger: WIN.
Since this has become a PUMA thread, also, I am reposting this from the earlier thread, since it involved so much research time:
After some exhaustive Lexis-Nexis research, I have pieced together the following history of PUMA as a modern political movement. Originally an acronym for People United for More Ambrosia, it was a group of menopausal and peri-menopausal women who in summer 2007 picketed the Country Buffet in Tyson’s Corner, VA. Their complaint was that not enough of the marshmallow-creme-based fruit salad was supplied in the salad bars, a situation which led to several altercations and one arrest during the early bird buffet. They believed the raw vegetables which were alloted more space on the salad bar were “disgusting,” “personally offensive,” “ageist,” and “a slap in the face to womyn everywhere.” This especially was true of the brocolli, which was named for a man. After successfully shuttering the restaurant, they moved on to other causes in the metro DC area, including protesting the closing of Large Marge’s House of Plus Size Fashions (understanding business cycles less well than, say, menstrual ones). Later, in May of 2008 some of them realized there was a presidential election going on, and that Hillary was being beaten by what one of their leaders called “an inadequate black male” (using the prefered nominal form rather than the correct adjectival form of the word, in common with cops and DMV employees). When Hillary was defeated, they switched to McCain, who rewarded them with Sarah Palin. Not the least concerned about actual issues (let those Wasillans pay for their own rape kits!), they sided with her because she has a vajayjay, plus they saw her on The View. After the scary black man won, many of them have moved to rural compounds in Texas and Idaho, where they are hoarding Cheez Whiz, Diet Cherry Coke, and Monistat 365, while cat farming, watching daytime television, and learning to use computers (especially those pesky pdf thingies). They have even launched an amateurish blog called The Effluence.
MurphyPUMA:
This is a can of worms? Some ineffectual whining and feeble threats?
Wake me when you’re done, ‘kay?
Have we been cheating? I wish I’d known. I would have totally cheated too because nothing pleased me more than to win some award from somebody-or-other that will never have any impact on my day-to-day life. Nobody ever tells me anything around here. And now we’re going to be disqualified or something from some award none of us care about and I didn’t get to have any fun baiting the PUMAs or anything by doing something that will have less impact on their lives than they think. I so sad.
I didn’t even get Pig of the Day.
shortsshortsshorts: No, I’m Dr Batista! I’m also Alan Colmes and Sporadicus!
Dildo Baggins: a group of menopausal and peri-menopausal women who in summer 2007 picketed the Country Buffet in Tyson’s Corner, VA
Also Known as the “Corn-Hall Putsch”
Dildo Baggins: I’m glad you reposted that. That post made my entire day.
Hey, Murphy- you and the 6 others - come on down to the Inaugural- we’ll be looking for the big orange shirts.
So. Obvious.
Today, we are ALL Dr. Richard Batista.
(also.)
shortsshortsshorts: Have Blago or Sarah P ever once in their lives taken responsibility for anything? They should get married–one good whiner deserves another, and they damn sure deserve each other.
Can’t some one leave her out on an ice floe and let the eagles peck her to death? As for him, is Chicago not the city of Al Capone? Can’t someone haul him into a dark alley and teach him what a machine gun is for?
Between these two, Joe the not-a-plumber, Burris, the economy and the death count in Gaza, I can’t stand the news. I think I’ll limit my consumption of current events to what wonkette offers.
MurphyPUMA: Yawn. This is tedious.
There are exactly TWO (2) reasons we are winning:
1) we are better organized
2) we are richer and have more computers
3) you suck.
Hmm, sounds just like the defeat of Hillz.
MurphyPUMA: I figured out how a gun kills someone, so I’m going to frame you for murdering someone, although I don’t have an actual dead body with bullet holes in it.
I just looked at the picture again. It looks like all of them are waiting to audition for hobo roles in the Beggar’s March in a remake of the old movie version of “The Threepenny Opera.”
DustBowlBlues: Phhhhhhh! What kind of liberal are you anyways? You’re supposed to be enraged, distraught, and violently sad about everything that’s being done to you … - I mean, to the world. Has the recent PUMA incursion taught you nothing?
Nigerian Business Executive: If this had been earlier in the competition, I might have cheated too. Or had someone cheat for me - I prefer the lazy man’s approach.
The one thing the Pumas are right about is we’re lazy - I’ll probably sleep in, or get too stoned or drunk or something to remember to vote tomorrow.
Kid has a cute ass.
…What?
Bruno: I believe #2 should be replaced with “Jobless and too much time on our hands.” By the way, what the hell happened to that green driving game?
Said Governor Rod Blagojevich, “It didn’t have to go down this way, man! They could have come up with the money for the new Children’s Hospital, but no. You all made me do this! In a way, it’s a mercy killing!”
So, is this the thread that will have 500 posts by morning? I need to plan my teevee watching time.
MurphyPUMA: Is your knitting club too racist to give the Pig award to Wonkette Editor Sarah K. Smith, who is a known woman?
(Sarah, my forgiveness for bringing you into this cat fight, as a liberal, I am just against racism in all its ugly forms)
Bruno: i own three computer chumps.
Bruno:
You forgot the fifth reason:
4) All Wonkette editors and commenters, particularly Sara, are clearly male and therefore default members of the elite, super-secret He-Man-Womyn-Haterz Club. All we really had to do was make a phone call, and Voila, instant win…just like everything in your life, MurphyPUMA, the Primary included. You should just give up now, don’t you think?
Suck on that for a while.
Tommmcatt: No, we’re members of G.R.O.S.S. - Get Rid of Slimy girlS
Juice-IL: I think you’re right, I should have said Hobo Computers or something.
Not sure about the Ecodriving game, but I’ve actually been voting for PowerLine, for best conservative blog because they actually seemed to have some good humor in trying to Eco-challenge us.
I’d rather see them win vs. the Michelle Malkin etc, even though they are a bunch of Dartmouth wankers.
Is the guy in the photo standing behind the wheelchair person Clarence Thomas?
MurphyPUMA: I saw this on eHow today and thought of you.
“How to Be Feminine”
“Be playful. Let’s ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Because think about it: Taking life too seriously isn’t very feminine in most people’s books, and it’s not very healthy overall. So smile a lot, flirt, tease, and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself, and you can’t feel at ease if you’re too stiff and somber, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful. “
Bruno:
…as a liberal, I am just against racism in all its ugly forms
Oh yeah, well what do you have to say about that elitist liberal Senate that is racistly trying to bar known black man Roland Burris?
DustBowlBlues: I get all my news from Wonkette and Joe the Forum.
I think it was said best over at Rumproast: PUMAs are the new Ellen James Society. Even Hillz is rolling her eyes with a “Bitches, PLEEEEEZE!”.
bitchincamaro: Sounds like being masculine too, although maybe I say that because I’m gay.
tootsieroll: I just looked at the picture again. It looks like all of them are waiting to audition for hobo roles in the Beggar’s March in a remake of the old movie version of “The Threepenny Opera.”
I’d just like to quickly remind everyone that Murphy gave $500 to McCain in 2000 and did not donate to anyone in 2008. She formed her little pac right around the time the primaries were wrapping up. Her, along with other PUMA blogs, are basically a collection of posts which reinforce all the negative stereotypes about feminism mixed with Obama hatred. Basically she is a self-appointed republican operative trying to take advantage of actual (although crazy) bitters who are really upset over the primaries. She sees this as a way to discredit feminism and hurt the Democratic party.
So in addition to being batshit crazy and retarded, she is a total fraud. I just like to point that out, let it get lost in the snark.
Rodney Badger: hell, i thought she was just another
down-in-the-mouth bitch.
didn’t know she had a back story.
Rodney Badger: So basically, she is a bitter, opportunistic, moronic twat, that the hair-curler set cling to.
DustBowlBlues: With Sting doing the soundtrack?
Rodney Badger: Also, Trig reads her the morning news everyday, also.
Rodney Badger: Oh yeah, I argued with her on another blog. She really didn’t have an answer to when I asked why she’s never given to any Dems this decade if she truly was a dem. She’s been a known figure in GOP online circles since before this election.
Blago for Senate in 2010!
justlen: I bet you her husband is behind it all. You know, in the same way Jesse Malkin is behind Michelle Malkin? And I don’t mean in the buttsecks way. Not totally, at least.
qwerty42: I missed his performance, or to be honest had my fill rather early and turned him off (I should have known the wonk universe would live blog it–damn),
Tennyson this time? Why? Because his interpretive reading of Kipling didn’t provide enough mirth? People like Blago and Palin–do they ever listen to themselves? They remind me of Nicole Kidman’s character in To Die For, bringing a tape player to her husband’s funeral and plopping it on his gravestone while she stands fearlessly with “On My Own” playing in the background while everyone looks awkward and embarrassed–for her.
When did people lose the ability to recognize that the world isn’t laughing with, but at them? On a note of hilarity, just so you don’t think it’s restricted to Ill, the Ok state legislature met today and for the first time the Repubs control both houses. The session should go easily because they passed a rule prohibiting the Democrats from being allowed to speak. I’m barely exaggerating. Okies will have to be reduced to selling their daughters for a can of beans and hunting armadillos for meat before they figure out the preacher was lying when he said Jesus only likes Republicans.
PUMA lurkers: let us end this foolishness because you can never beat us. We are unstoppable. We are gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, brown, male, female, old and young. We are native born, immigrants, unemployed and rich. We are from all over this country and share several things:
We take care of our own, even if that involves tough love.
We are more fierce with unwanted intruders than Sarah Palin could ever dream of.
Our creed is for honesty bathed in wit and acknowledging reality, as painful as that might prove.
We’ve already called out Obama on what we consider his missteps but recognize he’s much more desirable than an old & bitter man and his bible-thumping nitwit arm candy.
There’s been no cheating in this ridiculous contest. We just have the numbers on our side. For ever poster here there are hundreds that enjoy this site and agree with us. They vote also.
You’re welcome to your beliefs, as misguided and bizarre as we find them. But you are only a small minority that we feel sorry for.
Adieu.
ALSO.
Anyone wanna trade recipes?
N8Ma: Murphy can eat a mean cum-cake.
I would prefer she made me a sammich, however. Chips would be nice, also.
Car Ramrod: “Oh Yeah, stay tuned for the pig of the day…”
Quick, shorts, send them a picture.
Really, you’re back? And still yammering about cheating? What are you people, Jehovah’s Witnesses in your spare time? ‘Cuz you’re just that relentless. And that’s how everyone knows you’r Republicans. Because if you were Democrats, you’d relax, have a beer of a joint and let it go, at least once in a while.
Trust me, you battering ram, the wonkerrati wait in awed silence, holding our collective breath, terrified we will be found out and humiliated in front of the thousand or two people on the planet who give a fuck. If you did prove we (and by we, I don’t mean computer-illiterate me. I wish I were better at this stuff, but I’m not) cheated then wonkette would be the subject of humor stories on shows like Keith and Rachel, our super-duo, and attract more readers because, you know, nobody takes this seriously.
And as for taking seriously, wonkerrati, listen up: they will go away if you ignore them. Trolls always do.
The prostate figure is not a dead child, but an editorial writer for the Chicago Tribune that Blago has taken hostage. The guv, pointing at Sam Zell in the wheelchair and his other Trib hostages, is explaining that he will off one of them per hour until Roland Burris is seated as Senator. Another Blagojevich demand, in addition to a free vowel implant, is that the comic strip be changed to “Miss Impeach.” Problem for Blago: everyone has completely lost interest in the Chicago Tribune.
DustBowlBlues: Not this troll, also.
Yeah I hereby declare the PUMA war unfunny and useless.
These people have no political power, and no insight whatsoever. Every prediction they’ve made has failed to happen–Obama’s not electable, Obama will lose Michigan and Florida, he can’t win in Pennsylvania or Ohio (no mention, even, of Indiana) because of the bitterz, Obama’s administration will go down in flames (80% approval rating), Obama is an “empty suit” and a liar (based on the same shoddy “research” as Wookie-killers and other mouth-breathers), etc. etc. They all jumped, JUMPED on the Ashley Todd story. Go and read the comments from that day on the Confluence. Total morans.
Finally, for laffs, go and read the PumaPac comment thread from November 4th. Remember that one Simson’s episode where Lisa breaks Ralph’s heart on television, and Bart records it, and plays it back, frame by frame, for Lisa to watch later on? Well, here you go, a minute-by-minute breakdown of the sad, sad story that is these people’s lives:
http://pumapac.org/2008/11/04/more-thread
They are totally irrelevant, and now, finally, beneath even our scorn.
Unless they start posting about buttsecks.
MurphyPUMA: Lord cattington and chairman meow may walk all over your keyboard, but it doesn’t make them “hackers”.
N8Ma: Cue the “Monster Mash” theme.
chascates: “There’s been no cheating in this ridiculous contest. We just have the numbers on our side.”
These guys are Obama birth-truthers, logic and numbers are meaningless.
PS DARRGHHHHRRRREERGH we are ACORN, for we are many.
Maus: We are ACORN. We are everywhere.
american mutt: WIN
N8Ma: Some LOL from that thread:
” mick 11.04.08 at 9:03 pm: Mac will win PA.”
” KarenWI 11.04.08 at 9:04 pm: Did I hear that Fox called MI for Obama? Good grief! After what Obama pulled on them and they vote for him??????”
” BigCatLover 11.04.08 at 9:04 pm: wewillwin”
” KarenWI 11.04.08 at 9:14 pm My prediction is this… IF Obama wins then he will be the last POTUS. I am dead serious about this. Israel will attack Iran because they will know that they are (for the first time) all alone; and then the Muslim nations will declare war on Israel and America will stand with them (because of the darned Obama), and that will be the start of Armagheddon (sp?)…”
” jallen0347 11.04.08 at 9:19 pm:I hope to helll McCain picks up California”
” no1what 11.04.08 at 9:38 pm McCain should have MN with 60 %”
” Flasunshiner 11.04.08 at 9:47 pm This election is like watching the track of a hurricane heading into the gulf…”
” blondlady 11.04.08 at 9:50 pm if Fox keeps on, I’m going to willingly change to CNN. Even Megyn seems slanted.”
” DancesWithPumas 11.04.08 at 10:10 pm jenniforhillary, we’ve alreayd won! Look at all that we have accomplished in the past 5 months! We are a force to be reckoned with”
“snowtiger007 11.04.08 at 10:32 pm McCain now leading in North Carolina… YESSS!!!”
FunkyPalmettoBug: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHHA HA HA HAA
FunkyPalmettoBug: Yes it’s staggering. And we need to remind ourselves of threads like this, and the work that was done earlier to unearth Darrrrrrragh “I would gladly be sodomized by AngryBlakMan” Murphy’s contribution to McCain in 2000, etc.
With the internet, sometimes it’s hard to remember who we should take seriously. So these awful, awful people who come onto this blog, or who bloviate over on their own Lilith Fair or Conflatulence or whatever, we have to remember the terribly stupid things they’ve said in the past, and how truly idiotic they are. I am a PUMA watcher (I also rubberneck grisly traffic accidents) and I just want to go back to lurking on their websites, for laffs, instead of tedious back and forth here, where the sane people live.
N8Ma: “how truly idiotic they are”
Not to mention kneejerk racist.
Puma: “I hope to helll McCain picks up California”
You know, only someone who didn’t follow the campaign at any point in two years would say something like that.
BREAKING NEWS: Rod Blagojevich appoints himself Emperor for Life
This should wrap up the pulitzer or whatever they give to photographers for T. Maury.
actor212: Done. You should have mentioned it earlier. This one had a way to make up. Can wonkette magic work again? Time to jump in here, Murphy.
FunkyPalmettoBug:
The best is the entry at 10:32 pm (!!!), happy at McCain leading in NC when the entire election was already totally over an hour before that when Ohio was called.
actor212: Done.
I’m making custard.
american mutt: The other high comedy is their logical process that since a media outlet calls a state for Obama before every vote is in, it must be biased. But when the media outlets called states for McCain, it was good reporting.
N8Ma: Another reason to hope Obama pushes through a national healthcare system, so they have no excuse not to get their proper medications.
american mutt: Anyone who thought that was a possibility hasn’t followed American politics for decades.
MurphyPUMA: Sigh. You know, it could be cheating. Could very well be. Or you know, like Senator Clinton, you’re getting your asses kicked fair and square, because you’re not popular. Y’see, Timmy, Wonkette’s got a lot of people posting. It’s even got lurkers. Tons of them. Thousands, in fact. It gets more unique hits a month than my cooch, and that is saying something. Although they seem lazy and apathetic, once in a while they’ll click on a link and do as instructed. So maybe, just possibly, you crazy batshit fucking bitters, you’re just losers in the literal sense.
But by all means keep coming back here and spewing your unique brand of Holy Shit She’s Mental because it never gets old, and we can all use a couple of good belly laughs every now and again.
cal: right after he picked up kalifornia?
S.Luggo: Cheating because it’s fun and we’re bored? Fuck yeah, what did you think? That the wonkerrati are doing this because we hold the wonkette editors in such high esteem?
Thanks for the invite WendyK, I’ll keep that in mind but for now It’s back to the den where we are safe and hackers like yourselves cant get in and yes that is a challenge.
WendyK: Yeah they always forget Wonkette has EMPLOYEES, since it’s a real blog, not something you post to/comment on while your butt plug’s in the dishwasher…
pepe: Some more comedy:
“DancesWithPumas 11.04.08 at 11:23 pm this country sucks”
” NewOrleansPuma 11.04.08 at 11:24 pm I do not have on the TV but my nephew called and said the group celebration in Chicago looks just like the people in Munich under Hitler”
” TrishfromCanada 11.04.08 at 11:24 pm I really thought McCain would win, i’m holding out til all the votes are in, the projected winner is not adding up right”
“Ario 11.04.08 at 11:25 pm my biggest prob now is that i always loved this country and being an american…and now its all in doubt”
” newman 11.04.08 at 11:25 pm Asian: I had no idea we could get campaign contributions back. I need to get hold of the Edwards campaign”
” LaureyPuma 11.04.08 at 11:26 pm Why did I even bother to vote if California wasn’t even counted.”
” Lady Like 11.04.08 at 11:27 pm THIS COUNTRY HAS ELECTED A MARXIST, MUSLIM SATAN! OUR FREEDOMS AS WE KNOW THEM ARE NO MORE! GOD CAN’T EVEN HELP US NOW. MAYBE THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR! THAT IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION THAT SEEMS PLAUSABLE RIGHT NOW! So True, So True!!!!!!!! THIS WAS THE BIGGEST COUP OF OUR COUNTRY!!!!!”
” Libby 11.04.08 at 11:30 pm I hope McCain wakes up to find out that he is POTUS.”
” TexasTigress 11.04.08 at 11:31 pm Hey - I’m not finished yet !!!!!!!!!!!! The electoral college hasn’t voted yet”
” DancesWithPumas 11.04.08 at 11:33 pm Please pass the razor blade.”
LeeinUSA 11.04.08 at 11:48 pm Tell me HOW, Sarah Palin drew such HUGE crowds & the voting went so much for SATAN? Tell me the last time anyone was elected on RAISING TAXES? Tell me how Florida & Pennsylvania went to SATAN? Tell me that McCain is not going to even look at voter fraud! Tell me that McCain really thinks SATAN beat him legally! The instances of voter fraud posted here & on other blogs is just the tip of the iceberg, there is no way SATAN won legally!”
” EWard 11.05.08 at 12:04 am We have elected the first Mafia President! Margenau is right, stupid women gave BO this victory.”
” CTKEY 11.05.08 at 12:07 am He just quoted Lincoln. Disgusting.”
“866 mountainsong 11.04.08 at 11:57 pm Lara08 Listen!!! Is there some rulebook that says a “wetback” (someone who crosses a border illegally) is always Hispanic? FYI, I am half native american and half white. I am also hermaphroditic (but more female than male). ”
“Susie1945 11.05.08 at 12:42 am Also - as far as I am concerned - Hillary Clinton can go straight to hell too - I am so done with her…………….”
MurphyPUMA: Please take your medications.
chascates: If shorts is a doctor of anything, I’m a-thinkin’ it’s Doctor of Mixology.
MurphyPUMA: Why did you donate $800 to McCain in 2000?
And have you even been sodomized by a black man?
chascates: PUMA lurkers: let us end this foolishness because you can never beat us. We are unstoppable. We are gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, brown, male, female, old and young. We are native born, immigrants, unemployed and rich. We are from all over this country and share several things:
We’re a Benetton ad from 1985? Sweet!
N8Ma: She’s too busy stomping the mud making impossible to prove accusations about a non-binding web award contest that means little to nothing in reality to answer your question.
WendyK: It gets more unique hits a month than my cooch, and that is saying something.
Oh my. I have been feeling horrible, how these awful PUMAS have been treating the women on this site, but you made me feel much better about it all now, thanks.
loquaciousmusic: WE ARE THE WORLD.
Murph: Maybe the wonkeratti cheated or maybe you’re losing because your site sucks, is boring and graphically a offensive, even to someone my age who still settles down at night to read the Christian Science Monitor in hard copy. I don’t mind a lot of text but at least it could be arranged in a logical fashion that’s pleasing to the eye.
I repeat, Wonkeratti: If you want them to go away, do not respond. Ignore them.
The current hysteria on the part of Repubs is because they didn’t just lose a bunch of elections in the, you know, developed states, (which, of course, doesn’t include my own). They’re hysterical because their entire ideology was rejected. Conservatives are mean-spirited, bullies, and devoid of humor. Not to mention sore losers.
OT–After a month of being incredibly careful of my eye (on the Bell’s P side) I think I really screwed up and maybe scratched my cornea. Shit. I am in such a crappy mood that I wish Murph et, al were in the room with me so I could kick their asses.
DustBowlBlues: Sorry to hear about your Bell’s P, my sister had it when she was pregers, but it went completely away after a few months, hope the best. BTW, how can you stand living in OK, not to be mean, but, how do you stand living in OK.
I for one welcome our cooch pounding overlords.
DustBowlBlues: Really, explain how without a beach, the whole state is RED
MurphyPUMA: do you swallow?
just askin’
bago: you probably would, but what if you were the cooch?
lovekills: Paul James is in OK, and he’s great.
j6n: OK, what you said (who is Paul James, sorry if I’m stupid, but, whatever)
somewhere on that puma site it was stated that Obama only got elected because of his “black penis”. Talk about cuckhold, penis worship.
Hey ladies, I got your “president-elect” right here!
j6n: Ok, I did the google on him and he’s a gardener? He can live
lovekills: He’s the host of Gardening by the Yard on HGTV
j6n: Thank you. I need to get out more.
american mutt: The cuckhold term confuses me…was it your penis all this time?
lovekills: He does sport the sooner ’stache, but I vouch for him.
I feel like such a loser. Here I sit on the west side of our great country with the true americans and all the lefties in the east are already out. I’m always too late, booooooo
j6n: See what a small life I lead. What the heck is a sooner ’stashe, no, don’t tell me. Would I know one if I see it. Is it like porn?
FunkyPalmettoBug: this country sucks”
my biggest prob now is that i always loved this country and being an american…and now its all in doubt”
Please pass the razor blade.”
This is just so fucking sad. sad sad sad sad sad. How can someone think that way?
Granted, I felt like that when Dubya killed it in 2004…
anyone in Hollywood eight now want join me for a drink? Preferably puma so I can leave them with the tab.
chascates: We are essentially that group of people in the picture above including the tiny wasted mexican boy on the floor (that’s me !).
FunkyPalmettoBug: Thanks so much for posting this historical (hysterical) record. I’m really intrigued by the post:
866 mountainsong 11.04.08 at 11:57 pm Lara08 Listen!!! Is there some rulebook that says a “wetback” (someone who crosses a border illegally) is always Hispanic? FYI, I am half native american and half white. I am also hermaphroditic (but more female than male).
I imagine most of the PUMAs are more male than female, but whatevs. Why are they down on my cholos?
#!/usr/bin/perl
use fatsow;
my $WONKETTE=”true”;
while (true) {
PUMA=”fail”;
}
exit{1};
lovekills: Yes. In fact, you will know it if you see it in porn.
MurphyPUMA: Is that a euphemism for something? Because if you’re asking me to fingerbang you, the answer is a resounding “NO”.
I love that you think anyone with a rudimentary ability to browse the interwebz is a “hacker”. Lots of people voted against your sad little site, therefore hacking has taken place.
loquaciousmusic: chascates: PUMA lurkers: let us end this foolishness because you can never beat us. We are unstoppable. We are gay, lesbian, straight, black, white, brown, male, female, old and young. We are native born, immigrants, unemployed and rich. We are from all over this country.
Me? I am Woman, hear me roar!
lovekills: Welcome to the ranks of The Many To Whom My Vagina Has Brought Joy. It’s a happy place, full of warmth.
WendyK: Win! I rilly like the fingerbanging part.
Dildo Baggins: Yeah, that one was just…just something. There was some racist argument that night about the definition of the word “wetback” but that poster sounds like she has some…issues.
WendyK:
Weez got mad skillz!
clickie clickie.
El Pinche: okay. How many damn programmers do we have here?
FunkyPalmettoBug: An ignorant cow at my hairstylist’s’ was telling me now much she liked Palin because, you know, she’s so… I don’t know, she could work and have kids, too. (Yeah, that’s unique.) and wasn’t opposed to Obama because he was black but because of his mafia connections. Since you posted this crap from PUMA, I can see that it must have been part of the bizarre lies that were making up and sending out.
The nice thing about Murph is that she reminds me, in spite of how crappy I feel and how awful the news is, how proud I am of my country’s people for rejecting the bag of crap these people made up. After suffering through Saint Reagan and 8 years of dipshit, I thought things would never get sane again.
Basking in the warm glow of the election, it makes me think that when Hopey says jump, all the Democrats in congress should respond with is, “how high?”
He really is the smartest guy in the room, though I would sure give up any tax cuts for more money for jobs and infrastructure.
Methinks that if Boner and McConnell maintain the Repubs as the party of “NO,” in the immortal word of Ted Stephens, the RNC will quickly discover that on Nov. 4, 2008, their problems had only just begun.
I think of ‘The Jimmy Dugan Story’ on National Lampoon’s Gold Turkey.
“Go on, punch him”
“Nah, I couldn’t do that. He’s only a child”
“Sure you can. He can take it. Hit him!”
“Well, Okay.”
DustBowlBlues: Mafia? Ok, I’m a republican(more Rockefeller republican than today’s stumblefucks) and didn’t vote for Obama, but I don’t get all these conspiracy theories about him. It sounds like people trying to make up an excuse to vote against him(You see the same thing with every outsider running for office). As for Palin, any PUMA who votes for McCain because of her makes the most cynical political hack/operator’s day: they picked her on the premise that everyone would look past the fact that she’s a fucking fool and see that she has girl parts. Nevermind the fact that she really hasn’t had a serious thought about the issues of state ever or has a clue what governing means.
DustBowlBlues: and on that note, I think your insight should end this thread.
MurphyPUMA: “We’ve figured out how you and rumproast have been cheating.”
OMG, Murphy has discovered Rumproast’s fourtran digital collider, how did she ever hear about it?
She has an awesome PUMA intelligence network, a crack team of techno-amazons: Riverbottm, Mother Bored, and MountainGoat just to name a few.
A team like that, and Murphy’s awesome credibility, hell, they could take over the Internets, Pinky.
DustBowlBlues: You haven’t heard the news: McConnell’s telling the Senate GOP not to stand in Obama’s way on the economy. RedState is FURIOUS.
N8Ma: Fun! I tried to skim by just searching for the word “black” and found these gems:
Seattlegirl 11.04.08 at 11:13 pm “Now that we have proven that a person with a black dick and no experience can be elected President maybe 50 years from now a woman with 5 times the experience of all the male candidates can be elected!”
onebigmac 11.04.08 at 11:30 pm “post obama — business owner to a black guy.. “hey,i voted for obama..we have a black president now.. no more race card now..dont give me that race card shit any more and get the fuck out of here because im hiring jose from mexico””
bythelake 11.05.08 at 6:33 am “Good morning PUMAS! Well, the shock of this election has set in. I can’t help being disgusted watching the local Cleveland Ohio news. The blacks crying for that one.”
MakowashiNatsuko 11.05.08 at 2:43 am “I hate how my age group who are white try to be black…I hate rap music and hip-hop…I don’t see it as music. It’s nothing but a beat…and so I am considered to be the strange one out there who still listens to GOOD music… Anyway white people buy in trying to get into the fades…”
skutre: You overlooked the hax0rs like “aGooseIsaGoose”, who specializes in MACRO-11 Assembly Language and makes wonderful kitty shaped cookies. “fuzzybeargville” who does C++ on AIX and Windows and makes life-like wolf tapestries and spacey dreamcatchers! And “Betty” who just specializes in eating Double Whoppers with cheese.
I went over to that confluence thing, and I deeply regret it. There is some post up there - it’s like a freaky amalgam of - I don’t even know. It appears the author did an eightball and read a bunch of ee cummings and then started tappity tapping. The thing that disturbs me is that it appears to have made sense to a bunch of people. I must now drink heavily to clear it from my mind.
I’ve been drinking. And blogging. And yous guys are so smart. I hate these cretins. It’s like, the ugliness and hood-wearing shitstains now have the internets to hide and cower under. I can’t go to the Confluence because I have already poisoned myself with World Net Daily trying to infiltrate their plans.
They are evil. They are going to do something bad. I’s sore afraid. We hates them precious. We hates them forever.
itgetter: “Now that we have proven that a person with a black dick and no experience”
Why do people from Eastern Washington try to be from Seattle? It makes no sense.
j6n: Never regret that, doooods! That is mother——> MurphyPUMA: nature disposing of obscurity through the interwebs. It’s NECESSARY.
N8Ma: Here’s my favorite from that thread - scientific proof Obama was born in Africa:
======================================
GBPuma 11.04.08 at 10:40 pm
PUMA DO NOT DISPAIR!!!!!!
DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU HEAR FROM THE MEDIA TONIGHT.
…
And here you are as I always do I release my astro report on the night of elections:
…
If Obama is declared a large winner tonight he DEFINITELY was born in Africa and not Hawaii….his African chart shows much greater success and happiness tonight than the HI chart.
The charts show Happiness that is short lived and dilusional illusionary for Obama with GREAT losses and troubles and separations and restrictions to come….it is showing that Jan 20th is not a happy day for him and that there is the possibility of being locked up/incarcerated within the next year.
======================================
It goes on and on, but you get the point. So when will one of the PUMAs step forward and perform a citizen’s arrest on Obama, for being an illegal cheater?
Mahousu: It’s Sinclair’s Death Certificate quest that I love the most. PRODUCE HIS GRANDFATHER’s DEATH CERTIFICATE.
Honestly, Manousa— You better tell me the last place your grandfather bought a ham sammich. I DON’T SEE A DEAF CERTIFICITE DER.
j6n: Never fear! There is an overwhelming distraction in store for the PUMAs that will make them forget all about Wonkette.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/01/09/funny-pictures-needs-iz-a-crazy-laydee/
**********WARNING WILL ROBINSON DANGER DANGER WARNING***********
Effluvience has just posted moar epic PUMA/VOGON poetry. If you have never read PUMA poetry, please remove all sharp objects and firearms from your computer area before proceeding. Resist temptation to swallow your tounge or gouge out thine eye if it offends thee. A non-sequitor youtube is attached, with cool explosions.
“Here in this space people have gathered.
They aren’t this. They aren’t that. They have lives.
They have struggles. They have pain. They are in torment.
They are angry. They are offended. They are defiled.”
You have been warned
http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2009/01/09/what-was-that-question-again/
skutre: Oh c’mon. This is a hypotherical PUMA situation. Just looook at that man in the FANCY CONSTRUCTION helmet. He is obviously the authoritative man-figure-Jesus-PUMA-Paultard figure. I miss those paultards, they were teh more funny and lasted longer than these PUMA folk.
skutre: Gimme dat key. Gimme eet. Eie wiel fiaght yoo.
shortsshortsshorts: The Paultards were mechanistic, like a broken clocks, right about twice a day, cold, unwavering, unthinking, predictable, at least they were internally logical.
PUMAs, are from the other end of the wingnut spectrum, no discernible philosophy or political ideas.
They are simple vacuous aggression and discontent6. Their deep seated hatred for Obama will find a niche, with a faux-feminist twist, in the near future while the failed right wing will grasp anything resembling revisionist history.
And every outlet, soapbox, media hydrant, and propaganda ministry that brings them in, will be sorry.
They are a badly designed hand grenade made of Kryptonite.
They will be destroying everything they endorse for years to come, trust me.
skutre: damn I miss those rational Paultards with their underwear so easy to pull up around their ears
I actually e-mailed the photographer of this picture and he said that he didn’t notice the pretend-shooting/dead-child effect until pointed out.
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Thus, I have provided a transcript of the Blago post-impeachment presser starring Prince. It is for all of us to enjoy.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2009/01/blagos-post-impeachment-press.html
Go ahead and click it - you won’t feel stupid afterwards. Pinky swear! Enjoy it and thanks much.
skutre: Well, at least the PUMAs aren’t writing poetry about going through menopause. Or their epic battles at Old Country Buffet. Actually, OCB poetry would be more interesting.
skutre: Well, at least the PUMAs aren’t writing poetry about going through menopause.
Thank you, PUMAs. Whenever I’m feeling down, whenever I think my life sucks the ass of tubgirl, whenever I start to wallow in any type of self-pity….
All I’ll need to do is to visit your Election Night Threads. Schadenfreude ist der schoenste freude.
skutre: Reminds me of one of my favorite Onion articles.
itgetter: Thanks for this:
Seattlegirl 11.04.08 at 11:13 pm “Now that we have proven that a person with a black dick and no experience can be elected President maybe 50 years from now a woman with 5 times the experience of all the male candidates can be elected!”.
Will she have a black dick? I can’t believe you so easily discount having a black dick. As a fellow resident of the Great Pacific Northwest, I have long ago learned that one should never shrug off a black dick.
But if you can be satisfied with a white one, call me.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I got my big black dick from Feeldoe. Amen for that.
@ghost of Seattlegirl:
Number of elected offices held by Hillary Clinton prior to presidential run: One.
Number of elected offices held by Barack Obama prior to presidential run: More than one.
“A big black dick and no experience ?”
How much experience do you need?
If I suddenly had a big black dick I’m sure I could figure out how to operate it after a few wanks and a couple of fucks.
How hard can it be?
chascates: Fuck tough love. I need a hug.
The picture reminds me of the time Diaper Dave Vitter (or was it Pagefucker Mark Foley? - both so long ago) who brought a whole bunch of kids into the Senate so nobody would ask him questions about whether or not he paid women to poop o
n him (or how often he had the buttsecks with teenage boys).
I still think that all Lego people were made in Blago’s likeness. The End.
For the record, nothing else in the world makes me feel like I need a Rolfing session and deconstructed therapy like Wonkette comments. You rock!
Rodney Badger: Ha ha. I missed all this about her GOP connexxxions but it all makes sense. Can you link some articles about this, I like boning up on the crazies.
elcapitan: This is not true racism. Burris is a Zombie (I’ve seen his grave) and therefore a not a real person, therefore it is not racist, perhaps Zombieist (?).
Rodney Badger: Well, as they say, behind every Republican, is a strong, closeted gay man.
MurphyPUMA: Don’t worry about the hackerz, they won’t bother you, I told them to stay away from you. But, I cannot control the group whose name I cannot speak. You know the ones who Putin hires & broke into Apple the other day.
El Pinche: Unreachable code detected.
bago:
MurphyPUMA: I am now loading a perl script into my WordPerfects, Murphy. Tap tap tap. Now I’m navigating the AltaVistas. Search search search. Now I’m pasting it into the Wonkette action activity screen. Submit!
Please vote for Rumproast because with one click, a PUMA loses its roar:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-small-blog/
Ha ha. I’m a PAC. *fart*
End script.
That man is the National Ogre of the United States of America. He’s like a political id running lose. I love that.
skutre: PUMA’s are the Hamas of wrong.
Rumproast: I thought those Pumas were too lazy and unorganized to file their PAC documentation on time? Or, its that act of streching out of an SUV to reach a mailbox breaks too much of a sweat.
I just tried to have a real conversation with a PUMA of the male breed on facebook. I mean, maybe he was too busy shooting animals or crying about jesus but the conversation was one-sided and he didn’t even approach any of the GENIUS points I was making. WTF!? Come on. Put up a fight. His claims were that PUMAs are about fixing the democratic process and so I told him that they should then stop bitching and blaming Obama for everything. He said nothing. loser.
It’s nice to know that a Slav still knows how to use Potemkin Villagers.
american mutt: Actually, PUMAs are all about using the CERN Large Hadron Collider to create a dimensional bridge to a parallel Earth where Hillary is President and all of their ex-husbands are making timely support payments.
As for the much-hypothesized “male PUMA,” I suspect the individual you debated online was either spoofing you or trying to date you. There was much ado some time back about a couple of fellahs in Colorado who claimed to have found the body of a “male PUMA” frozen in a block of mountain ice after the Denver convention. However, the whole thing turned out to be nothing more than monkey parts and a Benetton bag.
skutre: How hard could it be? The ironic thing about having a big black dick, so I’ve heard, is that more blood is required to sustain erections, so your question contains almost metaphysical implications.
Bruno: Inserting objects into dark holes is patriarchy.
FreshCliches: Sometimes I think the “patriarchy” is everything BUT dinner-and-a-movie.
“Patriarchy” is a code word for “I lost Life’s Lottery.”
I am pushing for “A Day Without PUMAS”. Is that too much to ask? By my calculation, there are only about 47 of them nationwide.
Back to the G-Rod…
I am hoping that they commute Ryan’s sentence and put Blago in the VERY SAME CELL.
Indiana is a hell of a place to do time.