Wonkette
Remember when we used to have a fun weekly column called Wonk’d, in which we posted your Eye-Witness Reports of famous-for-D.C. people milling about in Washington? Well, we sort of quit doing it, during the long presidential campaign when nobody important was anywhere around D.C. But now they’re coming back! So here is a reminder to start sending cell-phone pix and your Wonkette Operative reports of people doing whatever, blogging from a Subway sandwich shop, etc.
To get you started, here’s a Wonk’d report we just received from Wonkette Operative “Aaron M.”
Just saw Colin Powell at the corner of 17th and K having road rage in a silver Corvette. Lots of hand waving and yelling inside his car at a slow-turning taxi.
Jesus chirst, Colin, what is happening to you? Didn’t get that sweet Commerce Secretary job from Obama? Please don’t go all Bob Novak on us.
-saw obama on wonkette 2day. still muslim.
Followed immediately by a phone call to ICE.
shortsshortsshorts: You or Barry?
i am confused- always equated corvettes with not-so-endowed men, but colin powell is a black dude, equated with well-endowed. Is the world ending? Or is colin powell really a mexican?
Someone tell “Aaron M.” that was Samuel L. Jackson.
Any Robert Novak sightings? The terminal brain tumor is taking its sweet fucking time.
What if it’s an amateur pr0n clip of Larry Craig we find when we’re supposed to be working? Does that count?
space stout: He’s a Republican, which usually equates to small penises or gayness.
-Saw Larry Craig in men’s room. Still ghey.
are we not men? no. we are Devo. D - E - V - O.
Saw Harry Reid at a Mexican Restaurant gently cupping Blago’s balls.
CivicHoliday: spicy!
space stout: He may be well-endowed, but Dick Cheney hasn’t returned it yet.
Anyone remember the WP once had a report about how Colin Powell’s limo got into an accident due to an illegal lane change, then succeeded in intimidating the police into blaming the other driver (or something like that)?
Quel horreur!
magic titty: I am motherfucking sick of these motherfucking slow-ass taxi driver motherfuckers!
Motherfucker!
FMA: “Did I stutta muthafucka? Did…I…STUTTA?!”
…at least he is driving American! Although the Corvette corners like a school bus, but makes up for it with a ridiculous torque curve that pushes your eyeballs against the back of skull when you straight line floor it!
Oh Colin, sorry about yer penis….
Taxi drivers - a necessary, but evil, bane of modern life. I once had a friend visit me in Seattle and he wanted to go to the Space Needle to meet some friends and when he got in he asked to be taken there. Motherfucker said he didn’t know of such a place and had no idea where it was. “Well, it’s that tall spacey looking tower over there so if you drive in that direction I am sure you won’t be able to miss it”.
Also.
DC taxi? That’s a muslim thing, not road rage.
Yesterday’s Chairman of The Joint Chiefs Of Staff is today’s Member Of A Village People Tribute Band.
That’s change we can all get down and funky to.
looks like old Powell is joining DEVO
Get mad, then get over it.
- Colin Powell
To which Powell then put his words into action by getting a tank and driving over the taxi.
Colin was in Austin a couple of weeks ago in one of those $199 a person ‘Get Motivated’ conferences along with Rudy Giuliani and god knows who else. I think they motivated most people to vote Democrat from here on out.
He was in a hurry to met the girl Charles Barkley told him about.
AngryBlakGuy: Hmm. I can see someone hasn’t driven a ‘vette since the 60’s.
Fivetree: There are only 2 places to go in downtown Seattle. “Downtown” or “The Space Needle”. How does a cabbie that stupid live? The last time I was in a cab in Seattle, the cabbie actually started cruising chicks in the next car. I was completely dumbfounded, having forgotten that such behavior existed (I’m so old, and high school was so long ago). But he was full on, honking his horn, leaning out the window and “hey baby hey baby hey-ing”. It was facinating.
And that ends this chapter of “Taxi News from the Other Washington” Thanks for listening folks!
It’s sad that Powell, our first black president, has come to this.
populucious: You forgot #3, which is Starbuck’s. But then you wouldn’t need some ho-chasing taxi driver to get there. All you’d have to do is lurch in one direction or the other and you’d find one soon enough.
Lascauxcaveman: …being that the corvette is the cheapest “Super Car” that you can get, its kinda hard to compare it to others in its price bracket. But honestly an M3 would put a whooping to it in the twisties and it wouldn’t even be considered a super car.
OMG you guys, remember when Colin Powell like, totally sold us on that dangerous and destructive war in Iraq thingie? That was awesome.
chascates: Tacky, even for Wonkette. Which, obviously, is saying a lot.
heh.
driving a “Vet” … screaming at a “Muslim” … on “K” street .. how very Curveball.
Has Colin Powell joined a Village People tribute band or something?
On the road, you do not want to fuck with the guy who gave us the Highway of Death.
Apparently, he is a car buff and tinkerer:
http://www.4driversonly.com/50226711/colin_powell_drives_a_66_volvo.php
I would have never put him in a Vette. Was it a new one or old one?
Well, there you go…seek and you shall find:
http://www.corvetteblogger.com/index.cfm/2007/6/25/Colin-Powells-Passion-for-Corvettes-and-Speed
AfghanVet: Know who else has a Corvette? Clarence Thomas. True story. And not only is it a Corvette, it’s an interesting Corvette–an early 90s ZR-1.
http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/national/2007/10/01/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-clarence-thomas.html
And AngryBlakGuy, I’m one of the biggest BMW fanbois out there, but I wouldn’t throw an M3 up against a recent Corvette on any road without expecting to get my ass kicked.
But enough about all of that. What is this, Jalopnik?
A penis is a valuable fucking thing. You don’t just give it away!
Since I’d dropped out of wonkette and not returned until the conventions–the RNC, as a matter of fact, I just figured that the wonk’d thing was dropped when AM Cox moved on to the big time, because, ugh, it was pretty boring. Like listening to her love of the panda and her personal life. (Oops-sorry. I actually enjoy her appearances on RM).
Hey, no the blob award thingy, being promoted on wonkette is pure gold. Comics C and RumpR are way ahead. Who, why, the science guy, or whatever that was (I just voted for it anway. Like voting to retain a judge when you don’t have any idea what the judge’s record is) should have shown up earlier. He’s got some ground to make up.
And wonkette is only 35 or so percent of the vote, so that TPM dick hurt! Quick. Go vote some more.
Formerly Preferred: …not to up the ante, buuuuuuuut! A stock Corvette does 0-60 in 4.3s and a M3 does it in 4.6s. That being said, the M3 has 10 times better handling and I dare someone to say it doesn’t!!! If you want to do a 1/4 mile then I will admit that the shear power of the Corvette will dominate, but line them up at Laguna Seca and it will be a beat down.
AngryBlakGuy: There’s lots of variables and so forth, but here’s as good a comparo as one is likely to find:
http://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/hot_lists/high_performance/features_classic_cars/the_lightning_lap_2008_feature/(page)/1
Same course, same day, same drivers, the Corvette Z51 (i.e., base Corvette with firmed up suspension) lapped VIR in 3:01. The 2008 M3 lapped the same course in 3:05. Four seconds is a pretty big difference, but it’s not so surprising when you figure that the Corvette has more power than the M3, a lot more torque, and weighs about 400 lbs less.
Again, taking nothing away from the M3, which is a helluva car, and can carry five people (in sedan form). But the Corvette is faster, even in the twisty bits.
He drives a silver Corvette?! There’s something really sad and flaccid about that.