let sanjay be sanjay!

John Conyers Circulates HIT PIECE On Sexy Sanjay Gupta

As Mark Penn told us all during the Democratic primaries, it is an established socio-political fact that black people do not like brown people and vice-versa, because of Microtrends, and this is why Barack Obama cannot win 70% of the Hispanic vote. This scientific insight about wacky minorities is the only possible explanation for why old black Congressman John Conyers has written a letter to his fellow legislators attacking our future surgeon general, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, the very attractive medicine guy of daytime cable news fame. It is ruthless and laden with factual and typographical errors, to add further insult to Dr. Gupta’s Guatemalan heritage.

John Conyers despises Gupta’s Mexican race so much that he calls him “Sunjay,” which is actually a type of bird that Gupta’s Incan ancestors would trap, for worship. He then references Paul Krugman as the “Noble Peace Prize wining economist,” a phrase notable for its horrible spelling errors and factual incorrectness. Maybe he was referencing a different Nobel Prize explicitly designed for an “economist” to win? Anyway, it’s a really mean letter. John Conyers is always sending mean letters to everybody about people he doesn’t like, and how he intends to ruin them, which never happens. He is, at the end of the day, a Democrat.

January 7, 2009

Dear Colleague,

Please join me in signing a letter to President-Elect Barack Obama that Dr. Sunjay Gupta not be nominated for the post of Surgeon General.

I join in opposition with respected Noble Peace Prize award wining economist Paul Krugman, who has very serious concerns with having Dr. Gupta be the nation’s Surgeon General. (See January 6, 2009, New York Times Hosted Blog, ‘Conscience of a Liberal.’ Available at http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/06/the-trouble-with-sanjay-gupta.)

Also, there are highly experienced medical professionals who question whether Dr. Gupta has the necessary experience or even the medical background to be in charge of some 6,000 physicians or more who work in the United States Public Health Service. Gerard M. Farrel, Executive Director of the Commissioned Officers Association, stated in the January 7, 2008 Washington Post that Dr. Gupta will certainly face a ‘credibility gap’ because he never served in the National Health Service Corp, and furthermore, does not have the ‘experience or qualifications to be the leader of the nation’s public health service.’ Clearly, it is not in the best interests of the nation to have someone like this who lacks the requisite experience needed to oversee the federal agency that provides crucial health care assistance to some of the poorest and most underserved communities in America.

For more information, please view my web site at www.house.gov/Conyers. …

Sincerely,

John Conyers, Jr.

Member of Congress

Conyers Vs. Gupta. Oh, It’s On. [ABC News]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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352 comments

  1. Raumfahrer

    It’s a good thing this guy comes from the safest Democratic district in the country, because OH…MY…GOD….

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    Dear John Conyers,

    All you have to say is that Gupta is a douche.

    Love,
    Doogie Houser, M.D.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    [re=213496]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
    But why did they have to use a photo of one of their own instead of Jim’s photo?


  4. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213496]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Oh don’t I know! I’ve been getting friendly congratulations letters from the nice PUMA ladies. BACK 2 BACK DAYS, motherfucker… Sara’s turn for the THREEPEAT tomorrow.

  5. articulate moran

    Wait? Congressmen read the op-ed page of the Times? HEAVENS! I thought it was only for college professors and fans of Bill Kristol.

    this is not good… this is not good…

  6. Raumfahrer

    [re=213496]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Not only that…this is now *officially* THE most woman hating blog!

  7. DirkLeisure

    Wonkette can only hope the House Democrats go through with their proposal to eliminate term limits for committee chairmen so that Conyers is around for a long, long time.

  8. V572625694

    Yep, the docs in the Public Health Service, fresh off their triumph in helping America lose weight, don’t like Gupta. And the spooks at CIA, whose successes in Iraq are widely admired, don’t like Panetta.

    You have to think Barry’s doing something right here: the purpose of government isn’t to provide lifetime security and comfort for those already on its payroll.

    /dick joke. Also. WALNUTS!

  9. chascates

    The PUmaides claim:
    “the obama presidency continues to unravel before it even begins.”

    What have I missed?

  10. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: …after SKS, my money is that “SHORTS” will be next. For his glowing and colorful commentary on Hillz during the election! Now that I think of it I might give “Shorts” a run for his money on that one!

  11. Hostile Michigander

    Conyers is always tilting at windmills. Which is odd, because I’m pretty sure all the windmills in his district have been condemned, foreclosed, and illegally dismantled for scrap metal.

    On a serious note: I bet this is related to Gupta’s throwdown with Michael Moore over Sicko. Conyers will oppose anybody he doesn’t think is down with universal healthcare.

    On a not-serious note: Guess where Conyers’s trigger-happy wife Monica is right now?

    ISRAEL! I hope they frisked her before she got on the plane. That woman could start Armageddon 3 years early!

  12. Maus

    [re=213495]chascates[/re]: “Andrew Weil will give us mushrooms!”

    DEEPAK CHOPRA FOR GENERAL OF HUGS AND TUMMYRUBS AND HEADPATS

  13. WendyK

    Dr. Surgeon General Gupta:
    Your first order of business is curing PUMA. Symptoms include irritability, slurring of speech, and vaginal dryness.
    Godspeed.

  14. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: Hey Daragh? You out there bitch? Baby, I got your money! Make me your pig of the day. <—– oink, oink.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    So he cut-and-pasted the link and still got the name wrong. Also, ‘Corp’ is interesting. On further reflection, I’m starting to be persuaded by Mr. Conyers, because he certainly spells like a doctor.

  16. The Cold Sea

    Conyers lost like everybody with the Nobel Peace Prize bit. If you can’t get the name of the prize right, don’t go to bad paperin’ somebody with that in reference. Does he have a staff or does he just make up phantom staff and collect their paychecks himself? If he has a staff, he needs to FIRE THEM.

  17. commiegirl

    I sat next to John Conyers once at a Fancy Record Industry Dinner Thing and I was going on and on all starstruck and then I was all, “Hey remember when you got strip-searched by the TSA because of your pacemaker? Good times! Ha ha!” and he was all, “That was John Dingell,” and didn’t talk to me anymore and I had a sad.

  18. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: Don’t worry, I have a very SECRET troll that is gaining instant popularity. All you have to say over there is “YA, HE SMELLS BAD” and everyone responds with a “Totally! Tee hee!”

  19. WendyK

    Why are the PUMA “ladies” here, and why are they bringing us news that has already been brung? Always a day late and a dollar short….

  20. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Wow! Who cares? I’m giving you my award for the most hyper-sensitive, reactionary, idiot. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT!! Don’t be modest!(har, har)

  21. space stout

    [re=213503]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: pumatards won’t attack Sara – that would be like hippocrtical or something, you know- pointing the finger at someone and calling them women-hatin leaves 3 fingers pointing back at you. speaking of attacks, who are these “talking points memo” hacks who seem to be makin a run at overtaking wonkette in the weblog awards and how can we sick the pumas on ‘em?

  22. articulate moran

    [re=213545]WendyK[/re]: As the most woman hating blog on the net, we need to respect their right to spam and then make sure they are paid 80 cents on the dollar.

  23. Texan Bulldoggette

    Might I make a suggestion for alt-text: Dr. Sanjay tries to get the taste of curry out of his mouth.

  24. PsycGirl

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: Does Sara even qualify for Pig of the Day? Because the PUMAs blog reads “Never blame the women” in an earlier award.

  25. jfruh

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: I’m impressed that they put that picture of you looking all chipper and adorable and 16 years old up there; you’d think it would cut some of the hate a bit as the maternal instincts kick in? If I had been them, I would have used this one:

    http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/26fed.jpg

    God, I hope they pick me, after Sara! That would be infinitely more rewarding than getting some dumb old “Weblog Award”.

  26. WendyK

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: I’m sorry, Governor Palin, I don’t understand the question. In what respect, Charlie?

  27. S.Luggo

    There is wisdom in old negroes.

    Gupta is involved as frontman for AccentHealth:
    http://www.counterpunch.org/martens07202007.html
    “ACCENTHEALTH is America ‘s #1 integrated health media company offering advertisers multiple consumer touch points in the place where health matters most ­ the doctors office. AccentHealth’s waiting room TV network produced by CNN and hosted by CNN’s DR. SANJAY GUPTA and Robin Meade, reaches 132 million viewers annually in 185 Nielsen Markets…To complement your broadcast message, and the consumer focused product information you can provide in our 10,800 offices, AccentHealth offers another channel into the physician’s office — a unique fax program that can help you strengthen your physician relationships…Reinforce product credibility through the “Halo Effect…”

    ******
    More on TV Doc Gupta: http://blog.lib.umn.edu/schwitz/healthnews/066645.html

  28. commiegirl

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Strong, intelligent ladies calling other ladies who don’t agree with them “whores.” That’s feminism I can believe in!

  29. american mutt

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]: I’m sorry but this tit for tat with Conflated is starting to sound like drunken flirting… and we all know what that leads to.

  30. Raumfahrer

    [re=213558]jfruh[/re]: Josh, I’m sure you are next on the hit list, as you are CLEARLY cheating by getting the most votes. Also.

  31. WendyK

    [re=213562]commiegirl[/re]: No but she has a point. You can get my ankles over my head for little more than a matinee and a couple of glasses of wine. “Whore” might be appropriate in this case.

  32. Dildo Baggins

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim, congrats and everything. Those harpies seem to have found a picture from your high school senior trip–WILL THEY STOP AT NOTHING?!!

  33. Car Ramrod

    If George Allen were still in the Senate, imagine how much hell he’d be giving that ol’ macaca Sanjay Whatshisface…

    Welcome to America, Sanjay.

  34. Scandalabra

    It’s so typical. One day you are flying high on American Idol, and the next they are all fucking with your Surgeon General nomination.

  35. SayItWithWookies

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]: You give out one of the awards every day? That’s kinda cheap and meaningless isn’t it? Kinda like caucus votes. Oh, wait –

  36. american mutt

    I nominate myself for the next pig!

    List of qualifications
    1 I didn’t vote for Hillary
    2 I haven’t been on a date in months out of spite
    3 My last girlfriend did pornography

    VOTE FOR ME!

  37. Rodney Badger

    [re=213496]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Those fucking idiots. Right under that Jim/Pig post is a post about supporting the Lilly Ledbetter act, which McCain (their candidate) opposed.

  38. Dildo Baggins

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: You need to learn the ground rules here at Wonkette. We don’t actually rank our whores, but award them whore diamonds–millions of them, in fact!!!

  39. problemwithcaring

    [re=213504]Raumfahrer[/re]: I knew this blog hates me. As a typical woman, that’s why I love it so much.

  40. Tommmcatt

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]:

    Nice photoshop, but do you think it wise to use your own photo like that? Anonymity and all that….

  41. Maus

    [re=213564]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I bet you that a TRUE FEMINIST LIKE OUR GAL SARAH PALIN would give up the butts.

    Daraghhurgle is always sad because aside from other people ravenously putting things in butts, Terry Schiavo, and visitors from Qo’noS the Klingon Homeworld no one else enjoys speaking her name.

  42. WendyK

    [re=213572]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Ugh I’m bored with you already. Why can’t we have a wittier, sharper class of PUMA to spar with? Can someone take one for the team and go over there to recruit someone more interesting? Come on guys, do it for mama. It’s all fun and games to fuck with these old biddies, but they get so tired and boring.

  43. amy amnesia

    They’ve only given out TWO Daily Pigs EVER…Ken and Jim!

    I don’t know, it’s not as much of an accomplishment if its an award Specifically Made Up Just For Wonkette…but still…way to run the table, boys!

  44. commiegirl

    [re=213568]WendyK[/re]: You are about to be the most popular girl on this site, by a whole lot. Yay!

  45. Jamie Sommers

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]: I’m sure he’s flattered, since pigs are known to be more intelligent animals than (Jennifer) Beegles.

  46. S.Luggo

    [re=213587]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: If you are going to be that way, how do you ever expect to find a man?

  47. commiegirl

    [re=213588]anotherpundit[/re]: Oh, dear. Can I get you a cold compress for your forehead? You’re probably going to need it.

  48. Stupid Wonkette

    wendy if you want to spar with a PUMA take your head out of a man’s crotch and go to the Confluence.
    My money is on them to bitch slap you.
    Me libertarian. No puma, or tiger.

  49. problemwithcaring

    [re=213550]space stout[/re]: Oh yes. She will be labeled a ““little female house slaves”” or Ken’s whore. Real feminist know that Misogyny is always OK if you are a enemy of Obama/patriarchy. Get it?

  50. Car Ramrod

    [re=213588]anotherpundit[/re]: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles.

  51. lenorecutie

    Um… does it seem strange to anyone else that a group of people who have such a holier than thou attitude have resorted to playground-inspired tactics? You people are losing. Let it go.

    It’s kind of sad that Wonkette is being the adult in this.

  52. goodluck/badluck

    1) [re=213495]chascates[/re]: Right though? Weil feels to me like a healthy, well-adjusted Karl Marx, and makes me wonder what a healthy, well-adjusted, say, Hitler or Pol Pot would have looked like/been, or even what America would be like today had Ho Cho Minh stuck with the pastry and made it to New York…

    2) Gupta’s totally gonna get busted for some some kind of fucked-up sub-rosa brain-experimentation on a massive and unwitting swath of the American public, watch. He’ll go down in American history as the Nepalese Trevor Goodchild. Of America.

  53. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=213583]Maus[/re]: She reminds me of this lovely blogger:
    http://moderncommentaries.blogspot.com/

    That bitch kicked me off her site simply for calling Palin an idiot. I have lots and lots of friends with different opinions than my own and not one of them is as shrewd and self-important as this retard Murphy.

    Can you imagine what it would be like to have dinner with a person as dull and convoluted as her? I’d probably slit my wrists before the entree arrived.

  54. Rodney Badger

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Hey idiot, they delete all posts that are not about recipes and how lame Obama is. So, what the fuck are you talking about?

    P.S. you are a useless bitch.

  55. WendyK

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Because Confluence is the place where you can post, and it doesn’t get deleted in .83497 seconds, right? Sorry, hang on, can’t type and laugh hysterically at the same time.

    Yeah, I thought so. From all accounts, that shit won’t fly there. They don’t spar, so much as share snickerdoodle recipes and immediately delete any posts that don’t jive with their world view. S’ok. Even bitter harpies need companionship. I’ll leave them to their own.

  56. commiegirl

    [re=213604]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: I am in awe, madam, of your utter elegance of word adn spirit. Thank you for coming and elevating our dialogue; frankly, it had been getting a little iffy around here with all these miscreants and their buttsecksing. But you have raised it up where it belongs. I thank you humbly. Thank you.

  57. nestor

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Stop cock blocking us.

    Sincerely,

    The men of the most sexist blog ever listed on the google

  58. Raumfahrer

    [re=213605]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I dunno…these days, “Libertarian” translates to “I’m a Republican, but I’m too fucking embarrassed to admit it”.

  59. Rodney Badger

    [re=213611]Pat Pending[/re]: Fuck that dick. He was totally against the South Beach Diet while I was shedding pounds on it. I broke up with my fat girlfriend because I got so ripped. What do you think of that [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]:?

  60. Monsieur Grumpe

    Now, now kids, fightin’s out of style. Fun’s where the future’s at.
    Let’s go shave the Naked Bunny with a Whip’s ass and have some fun. Huh?

  61. chascates

    [re=213606]goodluck/badluck[/re]: I confess. I just want more drugs. And I think Weil is moved ‘beyond’ such things (which I believe he did only a few times anyway). I need to figure out how to live in the Netherlands.
    And I understand the Dutch have so many political parties the government must reach a consensus before doing anything so there is a lot of inaction therefore.
    Sounds good to me.

  62. Rodney Badger

    [re=213610]WendyK[/re]: Please don’t post again without ensuring us that your face is still in a man’s crotch.

  63. Stupid Wonkette

    Wendy did they delete your comments because you can’t spar and could write a sentence without using the words suck or dick?

    U cn come up with a few recipes for cock sandwiches

    Try introducing yourself as something other than a Wonkette gossip blog whore . Maybe intelligent women will take you seriously.

    Commie you call this blog dialog? It is a gossip blog, no real news. Shit Obama even hates it.

  64. WendyK

    [re=213590]commiegirl[/re]: Shhhhhh. I just have to pretend to be an unapologetic slut because it amuses the PUMA biddies and confirms what they think they know about a woman who would participate at Wonkette. In reality, I’m a happily married woman with advanced degrees and a career (i.e., not a chunky, sex-deprived, bitter man-hating divorcee), and that knowledge would surely turn them against me. Much easier to let them continue to believe that any woman who could possibly not support Senator Clinton must be a whore.

  65. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=213619]Rodney Badger[/re]:
    I hate smileys.

    Now, now kids. Fightin’s out of style. Fun’s where the future is at.
    Let’s go shave the Naked Bunny’s ass and have some fun. Huh?

  66. Texan Bulldoggette

    Hey, you PUMAs are hijacking a perfectly good thread about the good Dr. Sanjay Gupta. When Wonkette would like your input, the editors will post an article about any of the following topics:

    1. the hours of any all-you-can buffet restaurant
    2. Jenny Craig or NutriSystem
    3. Dress Barn or Lane Bryant sales specials
    4. support group for women who call & hang up on ex-beaus & who are too dumb to remember they have CallerID
    5. ET/UFO sightings (just because I think those are fun)
    6. bitter spinsters who have nothing else to cling to but empty, unfulfilled dreams & who transfer all their aspirations onto people (aka Hillary) who, frankly, aren’t worth it.

    Get your own lives ladies & move on. Now I have to go get beer for the big game tonight.

  67. Rodney Badger

    [re=213625]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It was supposed to be a colon followed by a question mark. I hate them too.

  68. Keram2

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: You HAVE to make that photoshopped pig photo your avatar. It is beautiful.

  69. problemwithcaring

    [re=213617]Raumfahrer[/re]: Oh, I thought it was “I’m a Progressive, but I’m too fucking racists to admit it”.

  70. WendyK

    [re=213622]Rodney Badger[/re]: Indeed, I’m currently entangled with both David Plouffe and Rahm Emanuel. I’ve got my keyboard propped up between their knees.

  71. villageatrois

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Welcome back, SW! I still can’t get my head around this PUMA thing. Is it “People” or “Persons” Up My Ass? Which is sexist, and which OK to say?

    In regard to this Lilly Ledbetter thing, you’re wasting your time when you give extra money to women. I used to do it, and they all ended up ungrateful PUMAs. Save your cash for an affordable winner like Wendy!

  72. freeradical

    [re=213623]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Hey Stupid –

    I am a 44 yo lesbian who voted for Hillary in the primary! I’m white! I’m even butch and a little pudgy! I don’t hate men, but I do find their parts icky! I am PUMA’s demographic. But damn, you make even me hate you.

  73. commiegirl

    [re=213624]WendyK[/re]: Wendy, that’s awesome. Good for you! In real life, I’m really unemployed. But I used to be the editor of a newspaper! And I have a totally hot boyfriend, whose boss I used to be when I had a job, and then we accidentally had sex on election night because everybody had to get crazy laid, and now we’re accidentally still having sex! And I’m not fat and old and sad and a fake feminist, but a young(ish), skinny, real one! Yay, us!

  74. Rodney Badger

    [re=213637]villageatrois[/re]: Not to get all semi-serious again, but the Lilly Ledbetter act would have no chance of becoming law for another 4-8 years if the PUMA’s candidate (McCain) would have won. So fucking stupid.

  75. justlen

    They’re all atwitter at Riverchuckie because they think Sanjay will make them lose weight. Probably threatened about their entire way of life; stuffing their faces with Hostess Donettes while watching Wheel.

  76. JSDC007

    Screw the cute brown man.

    Lets bring back the crazy black lady who wanted to teach America how to masturbate.

  77. goodluck/badluck

    [re=213621]chascates[/re]: Truth. The Netherlands is nuts; only place on earth you can publicly smoke spliffs and eat psychedelic cake in preparation for a legally-purchased blowjob only to be knifed in the street by an angry jihadi on your bike ride back home to watch porn on public TV. 21st fuckin’ century, for real. Makes Rio look behind-the-times.

    As for Weil, I just appreciate that he both went there and liked it, and later on lied about neither. 10 years ago I’d nominate Alexander Shulgin, but at this slightly older/wiser/squarer and infintiely more-cautious point in my life I’d take a ‘beyonder’ with no complaints at all.

  78. american mutt

    [re=213642]commiegirl[/re]: am i the only one who didn’t get laid on election night? something better come my way on inauguration!

  79. Wugou

    This is exactly the kind of thread I like to read after a long day of misogyny. Nothing takes it out of a man like hatin’ on teh womenz. Thanks Wonkette! Also, are PUMA women anything like Cougars? Because: Giggity!

  80. Raumfahrer

    [re=213646]JSDC007[/re]: To be serious — she was one of my heroes. I wish she was my grandma. I couldn’t believe it when she was run out of office. Joycelyn Elders FTW!!

  81. Rodney Badger

    [re=213642]commiegirl[/re]: Sexual equality just means that he can talk about your awesome tits and you can say you want to devour his cock with like a starved marmot. Objectification for all is what I say. Our generation is very advanced.

  82. Wonks Adventure

    [re=213610]WendyK[/re]: so true. i asked them how they felt about clinton being obama’s SoS … and it got deleted i got banned. i didn’t even work monistat or old country buffet into the question.

  83. WendyK

    [re=213652]Wugou[/re]: No. Nothing like cougars. Someone go find that PUMA “convention” footage outside the Burger King for Wugou so we can clear this up.

  84. FreshCliches

    Rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape, and rape.

    The line for award number three forms behind me, bitches.

  85. Wugou

    [re=213659]WendyK[/re]: Well, I just Google searched PUMA “convention footage.” Now I’m gay, thanks.

  86. WendyK

    [re=213658]Wonks Adventure[/re]: Someone else posted on another blog that she posted something totally harmless and it got zapped, then she posted asking why and that got zapped, then she gave up and left. How on earth do they expect to get laid of they keep running off potential suitors?

  87. freerangemink

    [re=213590]commiegirl[/re]: And how! (he says, blushing slightly and nervously loosening his tie)

  88. chascates

    If this keeps up this site will be advertising estrogen or black cohash rather than Campbell Brown.

  89. Maus

    [re=213623]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: “Try introducing yourself as something other than a Wonkette gossip blog whore . Maybe intelligent women will take you seriously. ”

    Try talking to women outside of Second Life and WoW, maybe someone other than the Lew Rockwell blimp brigade will enjoy talking to you, because you sound like an abysmally boring person IRL.

  90. commiegirl

    [re=213673]rockyrr27[/re]: Whee! The Mexicans will be happy to know they’re Guatemalan now. Just kidding! No they won’t! They’re so racist against Guatemalans, they might as well be Republicans.

  91. Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=213637]villageatrois[/re]: I think the correct, non-woman-hating word for “person” is “perdaughter.”

  92. skutre

    They don’t even call him Doctor, they call him Sunjay Gupta. There’s real doctors around, we should get a real doctor like Dr Strangelove, Dr Phil, Dr. Doom, Dr. Who, Dr. Terrible, how about Dr. Feelgood?

    Anyone but a TV doctor named SunJay.
    He doesn’t even have a cool South Asian name with a hundred syllables, I wouldn’t trust him to do a prostate exam, he’d probably leave make up all over my ass.

  93. atsegga

    The Borgen Project has some good info on the cost of addressing global poverty.

    $30 billion: Annual shortfall to end world hunger.
    $550 billion: U.S. Defense budget


  94. Post author
    Jim Newell

    Foreboding terrorist “chatter” over at our fansite:

    BillieJo 01.08.09 at 6:18 pm

    Photoshop – Adobe question.

    I made a flyer, lots of text that shouldn’t be deleted. Saved in Word as a .pdf file.

    Opened it in Photoshop and what to make a border frame graphic as a lower layer. No matter what size I make the text, strech or chunch it is not sharp and clear when printed. I know I would make a photoshop text box…., but that will take a lot of work to format it with bullets and bs. Any ideas how to make the imported pdf font perfect besides retyping it in a text box?

    Hmm. It appears that they have developed a terrifying technological program for the computer?

    DancesWithPumas 01.08.09 at 6:21 pm

    BillieJo
    Not home right now, but in the File dropdown there’s and import option for pdf. Never used it tho. You could highlight the pdf text, go to photoshop, open the file, then select Text tool and paste. You might have to tweak the text…but better than nothing, no?

    We can infer that this device — once properly understood — allows one to write text atop a pre-existing computer file. Maybe this is how they will make Hillary Clinton president?

  95. grevillea

    [re=213607]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I know! I got banned from Michelle Malkin’s site. She was outraged that Sully was raising questions about Trig’s parentage. When I pointed out why Sully’s questions were ridiculous — the poor lamb came out all retarded and shit, so he was definitely Sarah’s — she deleted me! For supporting her point of view!

  96. chascates

    Google search:
    Results 1 – 10 of about 31,200 for puma wonkette. (0.15 seconds)

    And I now realize it’s ‘black cohosh.’

  97. freerangemink

    [re=213611]Pat Pending[/re]: That’s rich! Why don’t we also tap Bill Nye (the Science Guy) to be the Secretary of, uh, Science? Or at least spooky character actor Bill Nighy.

  98. problemwithcaring

    Conyers thinks that all policy from the Obama administration should emanate from Krugman’s NY Times column, his wife carries a gun and travels without him, and he expressed vague objections over someone apparent lack of “experience,” while simultaneously exposing his own lack of knowledge about what needs to be accomplish and how.

    He’s a fucking PUMA?

  99. justlen

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: But there’s more:

    kat in your hat 01.08.09 at 7:11 pm
    JIM NEWELL:

    Why do you allow your readers to post comments such as “Rape is Good”?? Why do you allow weblog award cheat sheets to remain posted in the comments section of your blog? Why do you think the environment of your blog so malicious?

  100. bfstevie

    [re=213646]JSDC007[/re]: As I proud American, and a proud gun owner, I can only say I already know how to masturbate.


  101. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213673]rockyrr27[/re]: Hooray, a catch! This is a commenter test I use in every post about a brown person of any variety, which is to simply call them “Mexican,” and then if a commenter corrects that, it means that they will no longer have a commenter account! Know what I mean? You won’t be able to comment anymore, because you failed the test! Ha ha ha!

  102. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: PhotoShop might be a little too risque these ladies. Adobe PageMaker or Quark Xpress might be more their thing.

  103. shortsshortsshorts

    kat in your hat 01.08.09 at 7:11 pm

    JIM NEWELL:

    Why do you allow your readers to post comments such as “Rape is Good”?? Why do you allow weblog award cheat sheets to remain posted in the comments section of your blog? Why do you think the environment of your blog so malicious?
    _________________________

    yyaaaaaA an’ that CHART you posted about how to kill you r lovd ones and bloww up buildings.

  104. american mutt

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: I have a feeling, no matter what it’s going to amount to some kind of blingee.

  105. Wonks Adventure

    [re=213666]WendyK[/re]: the best part was they kept the replies to my original post (from people that saw it before it got deleted), so now you’ve got a bunch of dingbats responding to a post that doesn’t exist. since i can’t reply, i guess i … lose? this game is perplexing, much like jenga.

    [re=213679]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: “persyn,” maybe? misspelling things is fun!

  106. grevillea

    Shit. Once they realise that Word =/= Windows, and that not being able to open a file type from within Word does not mean the computer is broken, we could be in serious trouble…

  107. Jamie Sommers

    [re=213680]skutre[/re]: You forgot Dr. Pepper.

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: I wonder who turns on their computers for them.

  108. freerangemink

    [re=213649]american mutt[/re]: [re=213649]american mutt[/re]: No, I didn’t either–and I even flew a primo ex in from and got her juices flowin’ at followed by Champagne at . I guess that should probably tell me something about something or other.

  109. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=213693]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Or maybe they should just stick with good old MS Word–you can throw a graphic or two in there with some wingding or zapfnut font & voila, nice flyer that looks like a 5th grader did it.


  110. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213699]Jamie Sommers[/re]: Hey what the hell I thought you left this blog forever, a year ago, but here you are commenting multiple times! Well, we hope you stay.

  111. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=213684]grevillea[/re]: Thats fucking AWESOME! You used that screenname didn’t you? I read that site all. the. time. It’s this special blend of crazy that I can’t get enough of. I had an account there for exactly one day. I tried to be nice and civil because I felt like annoying them for months to come. I couldn’t help myself and I shared the login with shorts and we got booted in about twenty minutes after shitting all over the board. But seriously, that comment about it being Palin’s kid is the funniest thing I read all day.

  112. american mutt

    [re=213706]Wonks Adventure[/re]: 4chan is like that dog you shouldn’t let off it’s leash… to borrow an analogy from The Dark Knight. So yes. Let’s do it.

  113. Wugou

    Wait a minute, I’m confused here. Are PUMAs those soccer shoes I used to where in the early 90′s or are they angry Paul/Hillary/McCain-tards with two “x” chromosomes who lurk in the series of tubes known as the internets?

    Shit, maybe those were Adidas…

    WendyK: Unfortunately, one more gay won’t pass prop8. What you need is fewer out-of-state Mormons meddling with California politics. In the great Western States, tyranny wears magic underpants and has names like “Mittens.”

  114. grevillea

    [re=213705]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Yes, I realised it was a bit stoopid using my Wonkette screenname there, AFTER I managed to register. I spent several months just reading and posting an occasional ‘voice of reason’ comment, then the first time I tried to have a little fun, BAM! I seem to have got reading it out of my system now, but the Confluence vortex exerts a strong pull…

  115. space stout

    [re=213641]freeradical[/re]: here here! I used to consider myself a man-hating lesbian, but I need to amend that now to man-and-puma-hating lesbian. ANd proud of it.

  116. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: I wanna fuck you so bad right now. Raise that skirt. Nobody else has to know.

  117. skutre

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]:

    Posts do not last 2 minutes at Effluvience. I posted a simple correction that the lead story today confused Genghis Khan and Atilla the Hun, who are like 4000 miles and 600 years apart, not to mention the tremendous disparity of scale per their influence on World History. It was posted without invective or polemic and was removed in 1 minute and 17 seconds.

    You fucking idiots can’t even accept History as anything but a personal insult, and the reason you keep getting stoopider is because you only talk to each other and censor everyone else.

  118. american mutt

    [re=213718]space stout[/re]: i second that. except i love lesbians and hate pumas. we have a lot in common.

  119. Raumfahrer

    [re=213721]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: With photoshop skillz like that, how can you resist? Maybe we can get in a gang bang.

  120. Rodney Badger

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: You are running the risk of making the PUMA movement appear unserious.

  121. Wonks Adventure

    [re=213712]american mutt[/re] and [re=213715]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: thanks. don’t know how successful i’ll be … if anyone else has experience handling the internet’s resident rabid dog, more power to ya.

  122. Lascauxcaveman

    Dean Wormer’s advice to Mark Penn: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”


  123. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213715]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: [re=213722]american mutt[/re]: Yes, please, do this. Good luck trying to get their attention.

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: You’ll love these folks, Murphy. The Internet’s an exciting place!

  124. loquaciousmusic

    As of right now, this post has 169 comments.

    Heh heh. 169. GET IT, PUMAs? I am totally making an inappropriate comment agaynst womyn in that one.

  125. grevillea

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Are you sure you know what you’re getting into, lady? Ginger Rage ain’t pretty. Mind you, if you own a mirror, you probably have a higher pain threshold for that than most.

  126. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213731]Wonks Adventure[/re]: [re=213733]Jim Newell[/re]: I think it will take someone far studlier than I am to get 4chan on it. Anybody have a direct number to Fabio?

  127. p-Sludge

    Conyers gets all of his information from the “Stephanie Miller Newscast” which might explain a lot.

  128. Jamie Sommers

    [re=213704]Jim Newell[/re]: Oh Jimmy I can’t quit you.
    Besides, I do love me a war on ‘tards, be they paul or puma.

  129. shortsshortsshorts

    bqueen 01.08.09 at 7:44 pm

    #137 Dances, that article also states:

    Famous redheads from history include:

    Malcolm X

    The possible father-of-Obama a REDHEAD????
    ____________________
    You secksist Wonkette CRETINS. Can’t we start being more racist now?
    ________________________________________________________

    AND

    murphy 01.08.09 at 7:47 pm

    bqueen — lol!
    _______________________________________
    So you really don’t have to worry about “discussing” the “possibility” of “rape” and “PUMA” ALLEGEDLY in the same context, as long as their black. secksists.

  130. ignoramoose

    [re=213737]grevillea[/re]: Awesomeness. Jim “Ginger RageRape Machine” Newell shall prevail!

  131. FreshCliches

    [re=213721]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: What, so she can show off her tits?

    (Yeah, I’m that old as well.)

  132. robanybody

    Note how they seem to be near orgasm over what they see as the “unraveling of obama’s presidency,” no caps on OUR PRESIDENT’s name and all. Why do these people hate America, democracy, freedom, our economy, themselves, their children and parents, the environment, and the fate of the Western world?

    I guess it’s all about Hillary Love.

  133. finallyhappy

    When I saw the young photo of Jim- I thought- oh, gosh- I think he goes to college with my daughter. I posted something over at the Pumaplace-I don’t know if they left it up- who cares-seriously sad women. As I wrote repeatedly during the election at many sites and newspaper comment forums- any person who sees any connection between Hillary Clinton and Sarah(Bush Doctrine? In what sense, Charlie?) Palin besides some limited genetic similarity is an idiot or a liar.

  134. Pinche Gringo

    [re=213623]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Oh god, another wonkette post goes full retard and filled to the brim with unfunniness and corny horseshit from shit-throwers.

    This makes me raping MAD MAD MAD!

  135. itgetter

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Has somebody made the obligatory “lipstick on a pig” joke yet? Am I too late?

  136. MurphyP.U.M.A!

    My feelings are very complex. I actually really, really need to have buttsecks with Jimmy boi, but I have too much shame and emotional feces to admit it. So he’s the pig of the day because I really want to fuck pigs. Oh god. So moist right now.

  137. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I wish the PUMAs would stop posting here. They make me think of feline vaginas, and my housecats get nervous at the looks I give them.

  138. smellyal8r

    [re=213624]WendyK[/re]: Phu-leeze…Catholic divorcee over 55 (and don’t forget that hot pink track suit)


  139. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213754]finallyhappy[/re]: Ha ha, that photo was taken shortly after my 21st birthday in 2006.

  140. Jerri

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: Oh no–these lunch ladies almost figured out how to design a flyer in Word?! Oooh, I hope it features the Curls font! Wait…hope? Who am I kidding, of course it does!

  141. OffTheRecord

    Is it wrong that I think that picture of Jim Newell is kind of adorable? It feels wrong…

  142. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=213763]Jim Newell[/re]:
    I used to be cute and cuddly too Jim. Watch out for those older women. They’ll say they can get that stain out of pants and the next thing you know your buck naked cleaning their bathroom floor with saddle on your back.

  143. Bruno

    SUPER SECRET MESSAGE TO PUMA LURKERS

    The Pigs aren’t going to like me saying this, so if you read this, copy it quick before it gets disappeared.

    You might have caught my post the the other day, but I’ve been trolling here for ages. These people are MORE crazy as you think. You really don’t want to mess with them. I tried it once and I got scammed. You can lose EVERYTHING. You really need to delete all the personal info on your computer before you come here or it can get swiped. By tomorrow someone could be using your credit card in an S&M club in Thailand.

    You may not follow what’s going on above, but look above where they start mentioning something called “4chan”. This is some really serious stuff about to happen. 4chan is a hacker group has the ability to shut your website down forever – they basically control the grizzly underbelly of the internet. Putin even hires them for their hacking skills. You could lose everything & everytime you go there, they’ll have all your passwords & everything. You don’t believe me? Look what happened here:
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2009/1/7/105639/9853/255/681153

  144. SayItWithWookies

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Awww, you have a limited imagination. That’s so cute.

    [re=213733]Jim Newell[/re]: I’d like to argue for ixnay on the orchanfay. That’s like if Prometheus gave you fire but it always burns down your house. Also, why bring out the heavy artillery for folks who can’t seem to fathom why it’s a dumbass idea to try to resize a .pdf file containing only text using PhotoShop. Hell, their blog doesn’t even have a reply feature. I’ll bet half of ‘em get their kids to print it out before they read it. I’m on the verge of tears just thinking about how sad it must be. And fuck all, they don’t even know what fuckin’ PUMA stands for! People United what?! They don’t even remember their own goddamn name from three months ago. People Unable to Mask their Amnesia is more like it. I’m on the verge of sending them a basket of flowers and whispering softly to them, “There, there — it’s a frightening world, but we can get through it together. This is your country too, you know. And Hillary’s part of the executive branch now. See? It’s already getting better. No, don’t touch me.”

    Um — in conclusion, Ireland is a land of contrasts.

  145. Dreamer

    [re=213496]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That PUMA site is den full of losers. It is amazing how these people take everything to the extreme. According to the loser poster this vote thing for weblogs is equivalent to denying women vote and employment. That is it they made me really mad that I will ask my million cousins to vote against these losers.

  146. Clancy_Pants

    Hey Conyers!

    Any of these folks ring a bell? Got enough experience?

    Jesse Leonard Steinfeld
    Paul Ehrlich, Jr.
    Julius B. Richmond
    Edward Brandt
    C. Everett Koop
    James O. Mason
    Antonia Coello Novello
    Robert A. Whitney
    Joycelyn Elders
    Audrey F. Manley
    David Satcher
    Kenneth P. Moritsugu
    Richard Carmona
    Kenneth P. Moritsugu
    Steven K. Galson

  147. chascates

    [re=213782]Dreamer[/re]: And if they don’t win it just proves that the process was set up to deny them what was rightfully theirs. Just like the Hillary candidacy!

  148. itgetter

    [re=213781]AnglRdr[/re]: It’s more the way that they attack women and not really the attack itself. A true feminist wouldn’t hesitate to call out someone for being a shithead just because they were a women. But calling that women a slut in the process really takes it to the height of douchebaggery. But here I go trying to use logic in reference to PUMAs which, as we all know, is a fool’s errand.

  149. AnglRdr

    [re=213786]itgetter[/re]: Excellent point. When a woman can find nothing more hurtful to call another woman than “slut” or “cum receptacle,” such as Stupid Wonkette, nee Sister Truth does, it makes me sad for women.

    Who cares about breaking through the glass ceiling when we can’t break through our own petty “Mean Girls-”esque horseshit.

  150. hrhkingfriday

    WHATEVER. Sanjay won’t legalize pot, so I really couldn’t give a flying fuck about if he’s confirmed.

  151. robanybody

    It’s been marvelous, but I hope this bickerfest gets terminally boring soon and these buttholes get booted back to their mutual-wanking society site where they belong. Don’t hang with their brand of lahooser in real life and don’t want to in what is usually blog heaven. Lame. Wearying. Not funny. Not worth the time to point out their amazing lameness. They’re just stinking up the air, in my humble opinion.

    I respect the warriors among us, but it would be much nicer if the war could be over there, not here–much like our Amerka has always preferred to tear up other countries while leaving ours shiny and untouched and buzzing with happy, fully operational Wal-marts and Furr’s Cafeterias. Which I guess makes me a true patriot, if not a lover of cheap Chinese trinkets and blue-hair lunches.

    Anyway.

  152. grevillea

    [re=213787]Jerri[/re]: One font? Please. I’d bet good money they have the same attitude to fonts they have to all-you-can-eat buffets.


  153. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213779]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, you’re probably right, nevermind.

    [re=213793]hax0r69[/re]: Out of my hands now!

  154. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213793]hax0r69[/re]: Mwah. mwah hahah. MWWWWAAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    “Their HEEEeerrrreee”

  155. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213798]facehead[/re]: “Chuck E Cheese: Come for the Pizza, Stay for the All-out Carnage and Gang Warfare. And Bring the Kids!”

  156. Dreamer

    [re=213785]chascates[/re]: This victimhood thingy is a way to make their empty lives purposeful. I think we will be performing charity work if we defeat them – they will continue feeling persecuted.

  157. grevillea

    Postcards from the moral high ground:

    madamab, on January 8th, 2009 at 4:47 pm Said:

    Angie – I love it!

    cool = PUMAs
    kewl = Cheeto-dust-covered Wankers in their mommy’s basements wishing and hoping that a woman might, someday, possibly, maybe, touch their wee-wees, but knowing it will never, ever happen

    Pfft. Women touching one’s wee-wee is highly overrated. I’d prefer Sanjay, even if it was just an STD checkup.

  158. itgetter

    [re=213808]grevillea[/re]: It’s pretty clear that madamab watches Morning Joe. And for that alone I think we can dismiss this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find some basement-dwelling man-child’s wee-wee to touch.

  159. chascates

    [re=213798]facehead[/re]: Do they serve beer at Chuck E’s? If not they should start if if they do they need to reconsider.

  160. j6n

    Speaking of wanking, did we ever get a verdict on SG SG’s position on the subject? Not to go back on topic or anything.

  161. Gopherit

    [re=213714]MurphyPUMA[/re]:hey Murpy, how do you like being a fascist whore? Hillz must be proud to have someone as skilled and intelligent….or and sleazy….as you on her side.

    Now, let’s see your pix or gtfo.

  162. Gopherit

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: isn’t it too bad they’re too scared of the big bad wonkette to allow us to leave our regards? Pumas, they are so FIERCE! RAWR!!!!

  163. Origami

    Jim, you are just a baby! Look at that sweet face. Congrats on being a “woman hater” FAUX LIBERAL! There is nothing worse in this world than not being truly “liberal!”

    The designer in me wants to shoot their PUMA pac website.

  164. Gopherit

    [re=213811]MathewBrooks[/re]: Aw they don’t want to hear about Dracula Cunt…..they probably hear that name every day.

  165. Gopherit

    [re=213759]MurphyP.U.M.A![/re]: Hey gutless. How are those bad girls hangin? You gonna let us post over at your place or are the fierce ole pumas skeert of a few wonketteers? Fascism, it’s the PUMA way.

    Oh, and when are you gonna call TPM cheaters?

  166. Gopherit

    [re=213757]Pinche Gringo[/re]: You caqn always count on the pumas to go full retard. Kick back and enjoy.

  167. grevillea

    Dear god, those broads are dumber than a stump. They were dissecting a Barry speech, where he said something about kids in Chicago and Boston needing a good education to compete with children in Beijing. They took that rhetoric to mean Barry was singling out those two school systems as being especially shitty. Much panty-soiling and bitter wailing ensued.

  168. Gopherit

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Hey, stupid, i’m surprised they let you back. Isn’t it nice to come to someplace that allows divergent ideas, and isn’t an echo chamber?

    Come on baby, once you go black….

  169. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213826]bago[/re]: Larry’s been saying that for WEEKS. I know because I was fucking with his ass…
    MMMMmmm Larry Sinclair. Suck me in the back of limo, pwease. No really Sinclair’s blog is a tragedy waiting to happen.

  170. Gopherit

    [re=213775]facehead[/re]: be nice face….this is the most attention she’s had since they let her out of the home for the terminally bewildered.

    Thank you PUmas for making me appreciate the debate skills of the Paultards.

  171. ManchuCandidate

    [re=213808]grevillea[/re]:
    Obama 365
    McCain 173

    That is the net effect of PUMA power right there!

  172. shortsshortsshorts

    So is the end of Confluence or pumapac.org? I’m not sure?
    Just remember that when one falls, a dozen rise. We’re talking about a retard pandemic here.

  173. villageatrois

    [re=213826]bago[/re]: “Obama somehow faked his grandmother’s death” If you put this into the Hilltard context of how Hilz faked Vince Foster’s death….

  174. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=213843]villageatrois[/re]: Big win. I was just gonna sit around and admire the regs but that one cracked me up.

  175. villageatrois

    Ya know, if the MSMs really wanted fer sure to bust on the Palinator, they woulda asked her totally hostile gotcha questions, like fer instance and such as: “Governor, how is the collapse in oil prices going to impact Alaskans? What will this do to taxation? Will rebate checks still be fiscally responsible?”

    But that would be just another example of how Gotcha Journalists are so biased.

  176. Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=213844]Gopherit[/re]: Thanks, but I’m cybering with a bunch of PUMAs on AOL right now. Apparently I remind many of them of their third husband, you know, the one that got fed up with their shit and left.

  177. chascates

    [re=213849]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: “Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man”

  178. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213849]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: That’s fairly common. It’s right after the dood comes home and discovers his wife is a menacing Paultard on crack. Scientists discovered the PUMA in early Spring, 2008, but refuse to acknowledge the species except in cases of their ridicule. It’s SCIENCE. YOU CANNOT DENY IT. It makes me miss the Paultards, in all honesty.

  179. Gopherit

    [re=213852]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: the paultards had PhDs in crazy, but they were funny. Not Murphy and Stupid. Nope, not at all.

  180. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=213558]jfruh[/re]: Bah, not if they see you in that photo of your “This is what a radical feminist dyke looks like” t-shirt.

  181. Gopherit

    [re=213849]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: And if you see Murphy there, be gentle. She is a fragile flower.

  182. Maus

    [re=213807]Dreamer[/re]: “This victimhood thingy is a way to make their empty lives purposeful. I think we will be performing charity work if we defeat them – they will continue feeling persecuted”

    Nah, people get off on feeling persecuted the same way we get off on being hated by mouth-breathers like PUMAPAC.

  183. JeffGoldblum

    Speaking of all this garbage, what IS the deal with this Gupta character? Surgeon General? More like Secretary of Nachos.

  184. Gopherit

    Aren’t we losing track of the bigger picture?

    What about the Borgen project?

    Would they hate the hilltarded PUMAs too?

  185. chascates

    Gupta is as qualified to be Surgeon General as Leon Panetta is to be Director of the CIA.
    We voted for change and we are damn sure going to get it.

  186. JeffGoldblum

    [re=213865]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Barry picked him up in a pickup truck at the Home Depot parking lot. He’s getting $6 an hour.

  187. Delicious

    John Conyers should…Excitement!…must read…PUMA!…too much…tired…drunk…flame wars…jazz…martinis

    zzzZZzZZzZZzzzzz

  188. Gopherit

    [re=213868]JeffGoldblum[/re]: When does he have time to answer questions about my credit card accounts?

  189. grevillea

    Aw bless, now they’ve tried to do a snarky post on us. It’s not great, but ‘A’ for effort, gals!

  190. OffTheRecord

    Why in fucks name are the PUMA’s posting poetry? I have a few limericks I would like to share with them, but I fear they would not appreciate their beauty.

  191. freeradical

    [re=213872]grevillea[/re]: And they’ve gone with the newell is butt ugly in comments. but what you don’t understand, LADIES, is that men don’t give a shit what they look like. But you do. And it hurts, doesn’t it???

  192. MGBYG

    “Gupta” still sounds like something you catch at youth camp up at the lake.

    So maybe his smile will convert the southern-mentality running this country over to to Single-Payer instead of our current Single-Prayer medical system.

    How does one tell the back from the front on those sorry PUMA’s stinkin’ up the place? Also.

  193. OffTheRecord

    [re=213877]OffTheRecord[/re]: The PUMA Pac people I mean, not the Confluence or whoever. Gah. Too many Pumas.

  194. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213499]Jim Newell[/re]: Wait: Where did that picture of the little boy under the umbrella come from? That baby-faced sweetie is in no way connected with wonkette, is he, because I would really, really have a hard time taking this news site seriously if that’s the case.

    Why no picture of Ken? Is he a ten-year old working under an assumed named and doesn’t want his parents to find out what he’s up to?

    It was on Ken’s award, btw, that I noticed someone actually goes by the screen name Moutainsong. That’s what the world’s come to? Following the potty mouthed ravings of a minor child or the bizarre rants of an old hippie who evidently did the brown acid at Woodstock?

  195. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: I don’t get it. But then, I’m a post-menopausal Sunday School teacher in rural “real America” so maybe it’s too hip for me.

    I did attend a croning once, for a friend’s 50th. birthday party. It was excruciating, but I was a good sport–brought a bead for the crone necklace and sat around the campfire and was very sensitive. Mercifully, no one sang to the goddess when the moon came out. But this was in Seattle, so maybe I caught a break with a heavy cloud cover.

    Would you hate me if I told you I took estrogen during menopause? It was that, or plunge a butcher knife through my husband’s heart. At the time, it seemed like a reasonable trade-off. Looking back on it . . . (stares into space and ponders while Dear One snores in the background).

    The above is my authorized autobiography. The End.

  196. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: You see, this is the problem. You go and make Ken and Jim all flattered by giving them pig awards, and they won’t ban you and your meaningless comments that, I assume, are meant to be insults. Though the crotch one was pretty obvious.

    I think I met you at the 1976 NOW convention in Philadelphia. Were one of the bra-less women screaming about not sleeping with the enemy? I didn’t engage in that particular conversation, given it was the 70s, I was still drinking and, at least in liberal world, we were so sleeping with the enemy.

    Chapter 2 in my authorized autobiography.

    But how did this get to be PUMA? The sexy doctor was a serious tool of the medical establishment in that face-off with Michael Moore and has some fairly despicable commercial connections. Maybe this time, the Democrats in congress want to show that, indeed, there are consequences, to make up for letting Joe Blubberman keep his lame-ass committee. After all, Dr. Gupta doesn’t caucus with the Democrats.

    At the very least, I would like to hear some serious talk from Sanjay about his views of health care reform. In public. And, please, doctor, wear a black turtleneck. ‘Cuz south Asian men are sooooo sexy in black turtlenecks.

  197. DustBowlBlues

    Hey, listen up, people. You’ve got to start cutting and pasting whatever it is you’re replying to (I mean, the 2-3 words of a post that are worth quoting, the average on wonkette) because this damn thread is growing at about a zillion posts a minute and I keep checking on what people are replying to and, you know, I’m PUMA age and have to get to bed. Got it?

  198. Wonks Adventure

    [re=213877]OffTheRecord[/re]: there once was a man from nantucket,
    whose huge penis singlehandedly prevented women from achieving equality in the workplace while reconciling society’s demands for a supportive domestic environment coupled with professional development,

    … waitaminute … that doesn’t rhyme! fuck!

  199. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213617]Raumfahrer[/re]: “Libertarian” translates to “I’m a Republican, but I’m too fucking embarrassed to admit it”.

    Brilliant and insightful. And did you notice, wonkerrati, how easy that was to read the quote I cut and pasted?

  200. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213891]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I find your style both sexy and irrestible at this point. The turtleneck thing was fucking genius. Never stop. NEVER EVER. You may be my favorite Wonkette commenter, like ever.

  201. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213627]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: “Now I have to go get beer for the big game tonight.”

    Please do not tell me the score. I turned off at Florida’s third td. I’d hoped that O’bama’s win signaled an upward swing on my karma, but so far 2009 is fucked. Those black-eyed peas have let me down yet again.

  202. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213895]Wonks Adventure[/re]: Too long to cut and paste and besides, I’m laughing too hard at your limerick.

  203. dougbob

    [re=213892]dougbob[/re]: i DID the brown acid at woodstock…all this is just a flashback to the 70′s, right?

  204. 102415

    [re=213646]JSDC007[/re]: Yes, I was thinking of Ms. Elders and missing her. She was very attractive for a nice old black lady doctor. Good figure as I remember and such good advice. Oh my goodness it’s late. Good night.


  205. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=213889]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You are on fire. This is a shit-hot commenting streak you’re working.

    And yes that 9-year-old with the umbrella is me and I’m glad to have had such “success” professionally in my tween years. May I note for the record that I am still older than Alex Pareene.

  206. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213908]Jim Newell[/re]: And Alan keeps an open thread! Ooooo…. I like it. Finally we can have some justice for the white/black man.

  207. hobgoblin of little minds

    [re=213912]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Nice comment on the small “c” Colmes page.

  208. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213911]grevillea[/re]: I like the incorporation of Krugman, AND there new found embrace of uhh, “modern liberal values.”
    They really should be destroyed somehow. I mean what if people start paying attention to that crap? DEVESTATING.

  209. Keram2

    [re=213823]Gopherit[/re]: I believe the Wonkette Style Book lists for Shelly’s name is “DraculaCunt” not “Dracula Cunt.” Just call me Copyeditor Keram2.

  210. skutre

    I’m pissed, those goddam PUMAs weaseled an hour of airtime at Pacifica Radio KPFT Houston for 60 minutes of haranging and hanging up on callers.

    Darragh and Jennifer (ice pick voice) and I had to follow them. Listen to the first 5 minutes of this: http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner201.mp3 and be even MORE horrified.

    THEN we did a whole program the following week and slaughtered them for an entire 1/2 hour, http://acksisofevil.org/audio/inner202.mp3 on a fucking major 100,000 watt station and not only did I not get pig-of-the-day, they won’t even acknowledge me.

    I give up

  211. Gopherit

    [re=213912]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Colmes may be the the blackest man at Fox News, but I doubt he knows shit from shinola.

  212. Keram2

    [re=213917]skutre[/re]: So I knew these people were fucking crazy. But I assumed it had something to do with the fact that Shorts was involved (Shorts, you push people’s buttons like nobody’s business. Never change.)

    But no. After listening to that radio show, it’s apparent that these people are full-on, batshit, tinfoil hat crazy. They make Paultards seem reasonable.

  213. anabellum

    [re=213917]skutre[/re]: amazing…but i think ya’ll should have just let the Flipper song play…i can think of no better answer to the puma BS…

    Ha Ha Ha, indeed…

  214. grevillea

    [re=213920]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: True dat. I found this interesting little gem buried in the comments of that page:

    “I have had the unfortunate and disturbing experience lately at Riverdaughter’s place of having a moderator alter my comments–actually inserting their own propaganda into my comment in the form of statements from the Israeli Information Ministry.

    My name was on that comment. So, I don’t appreciate Shtuey or anyone else at Confluence inserting language into my comment that I did not include. They could have posted their own comment, certainly, with the information they wanted to convey. Instead they inserted their propaganda into MY COMMENT.”

    Well, well, well. Apparently all is not as nicey-pie over there as they like to make out…

  215. skutre

    [re=213920]hobgoblin of little minds[/re]: “Really, no words can describe this batshit-crazy asshattery…”

    Some of the funniest words around have been the startled, and not so startled reactions to PUMA. Entire blogs have sprung up just to PUMA watch.
    They are sad clown gold.
    Don’t get too close.
    They are addicting, they entrap your morbid curiosity.
    They are like bad dope. BEWARE

  216. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213922]Keram2[/re]: For some sick reason, I really appreciate it. But I just plagiarize everybody else, so KEEP TROLLING. I NEED YOU PEOPLE. I hope we get lots of PUMA action before SIR SCAMALOT is inaugerated, or should I say until “HE BREAKS INTO THE BANK OF THE UNITED STATES TAX PAYER.” Until we see those birth records, I will continue fucking with the the PUMA retards.

  217. 2druk2phluq

    This is what I get for working long hours to live like there’s no recession. I miss massive conversations at Wonkette. PUMA… they’re the political equivalent of snake handling evangelicals. Buried deep within their completely fucking insane bullshit there’s some tiny little clause that they claim makes them a political group, but in all other respects they are just riding a minute fad.

    Chapman would have been a PUMA if they had been around before he shot Lennon. “Me! Me! Look over here, I’m crazy!” That’s the entire PUMA platform. You can’t make fun of them sexually, because they are asexual hermaphroditic androgens on the inside, and probably in some cases on the outside as well. They desperately want attention because that’s what they are lacking in real life.

    I wouldn’t fuck one of them. They are perhaps the only people on the planet I would simply not even consider having sex with. How lowly do I consider them? I would sooner fuck Ann Coulter, without gagging her. And I don’t know a single one of their names because that would give them some sort of validation.

    I am so not funny right now. I can has single malt? Hello beautiful drink.

  218. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213928]2druk2phluq[/re]: Think about it though. The lights turn down, your in a crowded bar, Kenny Motha Fuckin’ G is playing some horrible ensemble of shit in the background…. but most importantly, you’re drunk off your ass. Would you sacrifice (bad) sex for the loss of the PUMA movement? I, for one, will not. You’re with the PUMA’s sick enclaves of lonely middle-aged sex, or with the terrorists. It’s your call dood.

  219. skutre

    [re=213929]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hey, shorts. If we let him do a few more shots, I can conference call Jennifer and see if they hook up.

    MP3 to come

  220. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=213932]skutre[/re]: You already pronounced your sacrifice, I’ll wait for the made-for-tee vee movie. You will be fucking. famous.

  221. skutre

    The or[re=213933]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “I’ll wait for the made-for-tee vee movie.”

    The original starred Steve McQueen. Doncha miss Roger Corman?

  222. shortsshortsshorts

    Roger Corman was the other white sheep fucker.
    However McQueen run my ass over with Bullet, the last surviving of the herd thay Corman existentially violated. That goddamn outlier.

  223. shortsshortsshorts

    that*. TO BED WITH MEES. Working for a “respected firm” really fucks up the whole “YA ME REBEL MEME STUFFS,” so right now I’d rather do neither.
    Fuck you, Gupta.
    The rest of you deserve honorary golden swords from the Queen (who’s sex controversy is just waiting for the right time).

  224. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Boy, I have a busy day, and look what I miss. A good sorority slap fight breaks out, I find out that we have numbered whores, the PUMAs attack Jim by posting the most adorable picture of his holding an umbrella for his date to their middle school prom (which is very nice of them, considering that we know his years at Wonkette have taken a toll on Jim: http://wonkette.com/403258/california-would-like-some-bailout-billions-too ), and Jammie Sommers makes a pleasant return. What a day.

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: We have Wonkette whores here? Why wasn’t I informed? When did the benefits package get amended?

    [re=213558]jfruh[/re]: They posted that picture of Jim and he is getting nasty mail? That’s like going down to the local middle school and punching the innocent little fourteen year old who is about to start his Harry Potter LARP game. Not that I’m against that, but really, what kind of mean person would say something nasty to Jim?

    [re=213597]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: Hey, no one comes to my house and tells women to take their heads out of anyone’s crotch. That is just rude. It is not like I come to where you work and point out the cum stains you haven’t cleaned off.

  225. chascates

    This whole thread is bound to get the PUmaniacs more press than they deserve but it is fun having an occasional firefight, virtually speaking.

    Would Bill Frist be reaching across the ideological divide too far?

  226. loquaciousmusic

    [re=213889]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I want to marry you, even though your vagina is probably totally old and shriveled, BECAUSE YOUR MIND ISN’T.

    Dump the chump!

  227. The Rev. Yevot

    [re=213940]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “…and Jammie Sommers makes a pleasant return.”
    Indeed. Welcome back, Jamie Sommers, we missed you. But does this mean the Cynics’ Party is over? And please tell us you brought nojo and homofascist and some of the others back with you?

  228. zhubajie

    [re=213516]j6n[/re]: A Nobel prize for Whining would be a good idea. An Olympic gold medal, too.

    Zhu Bajie

  229. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    The war with the pumatards has gone from fun to kind of sad. They are so boring and they suck and they aren’t even interesting trolls. They are just DUMB. Their stupid website has about 1/3rd of the votes of our Wonkette. They are talking shit about JIM.

    It is time to end the carpet bombing of their stupid site and get to whatever the internets equivalent is of full on nukular warfares. End their misery soon, please.

  230. Alldat

    On behalf of the animal kingdom, I would like to make a public service announcement and point out that these PUMAs are an insult to apex predators everywhere. “The Ghost of the Mountains” is a sleek, elegant creature- stealthy, silent, and lethal. The PUMA, on the other hand… Well, I guess they’re both carbon-based life forms, but the similarities end there. Although I must say that a Beegle would provide enough groceries for a puma to last several days.

    Can we get back to Trucknutz now plz?

  231. Hagar77

    [re=213551]Stupid Wonkette[/re]: I really enjoyed my visit to the PUMAPAC’s website, and I have even more respect for you guys now that I’ve realized that you’re doing all of your furious, furious Obama hate typing one-handed because you’re using the other to masturbate.

    Also, “Pig of the Day?” Really? Do you guys hold your meetings in a treehouse and hand out “I Hate Boys” buttons and unicorn stickers? Get fucking serious.

  232. BitterPolitico

    [re=213540]MurphyPUMA[/re]: Uh huh… well, I can see that you McCain/Palin lovers never read Eve Ensler’s piece on Palin. Oh well, as a women I guess I’m going to have to continue to be misogynistic against myself as I continue to read and comment here. God, I’m such an asshole self.

  233. Gopherit

    [re=213985]TGY[/re]: What else is there to do TGY?

    They’re no Paultards, but it’s all we have.

  234. Crazybroad

    Once again, I must hang my head in shame due to the behavior of “my” elected officials (Kwame, how’s that jail cell? Bummer Christine can’t keep you company…). PLEASE believe me when I say that not all Detroiters are idiots.

    Mr. C., please retire to somewhere warm and foreign — soon. And take Monica with you.

  235. actor212

    [re=213489]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hey, Doogie Howser for SurgGen!

    And, to quote Cameron Drake from “In And Out”…he’s GAY!

  236. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213925]grevillea[/re]: Riverdaughter? You’re shitting me, right? What’s great about this thread (being old I had to go to bed last night and rest my afflicted half-paralyzed head but, being old enough to be trusted by me doctor–headache pills today! Life looking better!) that I was sure I wouldn’t read this AM (after I saw it had grown to 1,245 and a half comments) I’m so glad I did because I’m remembering why, although Okrahoma is a mostly retarded state, I’m remembering the things I so don’t miss about Seattle.

    At least in the heart of Real America, nobody sings to the moon, celebrates the solstice or is so politically correct you have to whisper to make, you know, a really funny joke. Jokes that I don’t even repeat here because, you know, they find them a little too funny).

    The Tree huggers were either self-involved clueless and fairly rude geeks with more money than taste or so fucking sensitive they made me want to eat Slim Jims, watch football and fart. Oh, and use words like retard. And, for heavens’ sake, I’m a middle aged woman!

  237. Jamie Sommers

    [re=213940]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]& [re=213956]The Rev. Yevot[/re]: : *blushes* Aw shucks. I love you too darlin’. Good to be back.

    The gang moved from the Cynics Party over to the Stinque but I’m sure a few are lurking around here somewhere.

  238. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=214177]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Come on now. I live in Seattle and I don’t know anyone that’s as hypersensitive as you describe. I literally live smack in the middle of this town and I get away with saying all kinds of crude things out loud.

  239. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213683]Jim Newell[/re]: Listen, you little twit. Just because you have your computer thingee, it doesn’t mean you’re too old for me to slap that smarmy grin off your face.

    I’ll have you know, that as an old person myself, I still cannot work out how to write in this stupid box AND use line thru to make a funny! And I don’t ask, because little shits like you will make fun of me like I’m some weird old PUMA lady was so uptight (As we used to say back when I was your age) that they completely missed the fucking (and I do mean fucking–you kids missed a great party) 70s because they were off being crazy and pissed.

    And as to the guy who wants to marry me, shriveled female parts and all, the chump, as you so fondly called him, would answer: “It’s been so long since they’ve been used, who’d know?”

  240. HuddledMass

    [re=213644]Rodney Badger[/re]: McCain and Palin are anti-feminist at every level — so the idiot PUMA’s vote for them instead of Obama?? WTF??

    As an old-style, early-seventies feminist I can’t even begin to get my head around this — who the fuck ARE these nutball losers?

  241. DustBowlBlues

    [re=213694]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: kat lady– Jim isn’t allowed to ban any of these worthless losers on his own. Since this is an R-rated site, he has to have a parent or guardian co-sign the form. Would you (pretend I underlined you or put it in italics) want your parents to know you’re one of the people behind wonkette?

    Yeah, I thought not.

    [re=214235]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Whoa. I’m so glad Seattle has softened up a little. But surely not in Phinney Ridge where I lived. OT true story: Back many years ago, the happy yuppy parents who lived in the neighborhood decided to clean up and refurbish the little playground across the street from the 7-11 on Phinney and 59th. One of them, all fresh-faced and good-works intended, came to my door asking if my family would like to help. So, I work full time, raised 3 steps and now have one kid of my own. I’m busy. And, dammit, as a good liberal, voted over and over to tax myself to do shit like, you know, clean up and fixup the fucking parks.

    So I told him the truth. “No, I’d never let my kid play up there.”

    Mr boyishly clean, shocked , said “Why?”

    And I told him. “Because at night it’s full of winos who shit, piss and throw up everywhere.”

    He couldn’t handle the truth, because he ran away.

  242. PsycGirl

    [re=214416]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Ah, yes, I remember well, the years between the birth control pill and AIDS. When a cop pulled me over, found a roach in the ashtray, scolded me and left it there and drove away.

  243. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=214438]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Okay okay okay… there are some uptight, PC dickwads around here but at least we have good weed and beer and fuck a lot.

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