TERRORIST SPIDEY BUMP  1:36 pm January 8, 2009

Barack Obama Is President of Spiderman

by Ken Layne

Does whatever a spiderman does.Who is that mysterious black person in a business suit who looks absolutely nothing like Barack Obama, your new president? It’s COMIC-BOOK Barack Obama, that’s who! Jesus fucking christ, could Marvel Comics maybe hire somebody who can maybe draw something vaguely resembling the president-elect, rather than “random negro dude in a suit who also seems to have neck tumors”? [USA Today]

 
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{ 85 comments }

Servo January 8, 2009 at 1:38 pm

No Spiderman song lyrics, please.

shortsshortsshorts January 8, 2009 at 1:40 pm

OHHH they all look the same.

Terry January 8, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Spiderman, Spiderman, friendly neighborhood Spiderman….

AfghanVet January 8, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Doing the “terrorist fist bump” no less.

I wonder if we are going to see scenes of World Leaders holding the pose of a fist bump with Obama while thousands of cameras flash away.

mdotsota January 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Why does Barry’s suit have muscle lines?

Tommy Says Soooo January 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

1) Why does Spiderman have his left hand depicted, as this is not necessary for a terrorist fist bump?

2) And what kind of disease results in deformed fingers?

Unless of course that’s Larry Craig dressed up as a second Spiderman doing a reacharound.

Troof January 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Why is Obama wearing a 3-piece-suit, like some kinda fat cat republican?

Cape Clod January 8, 2009 at 1:43 pm

And in this episode, Spiderman fights his arch nemesis, the Bathroom Goblin.

Tommy Says Soooo January 8, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=213030]AfghanVet[/re]: Count on it. It will be just like how everyone gave Bubba a saxophone or a beejer.

freakishlystrong January 8, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Barry’s been doping! Oh Nos!

randomsausage January 8, 2009 at 1:44 pm

The Dark Knight would have been more appropriate, no?

Doglessliberal January 8, 2009 at 1:44 pm

He actually looks like Mark Trail in blackface, except with a menacing expression on his face (Mark never menaces, even when he is beating up bad guys who are trying to kidnap his dog).

Texan Bulldoggette January 8, 2009 at 1:45 pm

The shape of Spiderman’s head is a little scary, too. Does he not have any skin on his skull? (His neck is also really long–like those women in those tribes who stretch out their necks).

Min January 8, 2009 at 1:45 pm

OMG…is that Michelle?!? I now have more insight into the President-Elect’s twisted sex life than I ever wanted.

Obamaton January 8, 2009 at 1:46 pm

[re=213030]AfghanVet[/re]: I am hoping its just The Bump

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bump_(dance)

Cause that would be too cool. Soooooooooooooooul Traaaaaaaaaaaaain (on Air Force One).

Theodorick Of York January 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm

[re=213034]Cape Clod[/re]:
That’s Knob Gobbler

Godot January 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Hopey Sense is tingling!

UNZIPPEDFLY January 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I’m holding out for the “Shaft” remake. Cuz Obama’s one baaaad mothafuck-hush yo mouf!

Godot January 8, 2009 at 1:48 pm

And really, it’s not just Barry that the artist can’t draw. What’s with the malformed skull and fingers on Spidey?

SayItWithWookies January 8, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Wait — which one of them is palling around with the terrorist?

Servo January 8, 2009 at 1:48 pm

In theatres next summer.

NoWireHangers January 8, 2009 at 1:50 pm

If it’s any consolation, Spidey looks pretty off-putting too.

Schadenfried January 8, 2009 at 1:52 pm

‘Fuck outta here! That’s Mr. Dubois from Boondocks!

bitchincamaro January 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm

It totally sucks, but for the last panel. “Oh, Oh. I think Biden sees me.” Hahaha.

shanemacgowan January 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Instead of drawing a random negro dude, they need to draw a half-breed muslin

Godot January 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=213050]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I guess it depends whether you’re asking Sean Hannity or J. Jonah Jameson.

Mr Blifil January 8, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Jokes on Hopey. That’s Joe the Plumber under the Spidey suit, judging by the phrenology…

mdotsota January 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=213059]shanemacgowan[/re]: There’s a difference?

Mr Blifil January 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm

[re=213032]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: The left hand is demonstrating the unendurable agony of being required to stand so close to a person of color, let alone forcing one’s self to play out the mockery that you are “down” with him. Basically, black people seem to have debilitating Kryptonite-like effects on members of the super-powered community.

hobospacejungle January 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm

As a sop to the younger set on Inauguration Day Spiderman will be riding with the Obama family in the Hope-ty up Pennsylvania Avenue.

Theodorick Of York January 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=213034]Cape Clod[/re]:

How ’bout if The Knob Gobbler is the good guy portayed by Larry Craig
who defeats his arch enemy The Iridescent Naugahyde Python by luring him
into his super secret underground airport bathroom cave and swallowing him
hole….er, whole.

Zadig January 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Hold on a second, I thought Stephen Colbert was running for president of Spider Man?

MrAgro January 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=213058]bitchincamaro[/re]: “At one point, Spider-Man says he mistook Vice President-elect Joe Biden for the Vulture (a vintage Spider-Man villain).”

Spidey makes a funny!

you cannot be serious January 8, 2009 at 2:01 pm

“the story has Spidey preventing the Chameleon from ruining Obama’s inauguration. Here the archvillian is escorted away by a security detail.”

The Chameleon is a PUMA?

Dildo Baggins January 8, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Yeah, and why does he have blue eyes? WTF!!??

mdotsota January 8, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=213065]Mr Blifil[/re]: Including Luke Cage and Black Panther

randomsausage January 8, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Turning over the page (ahem) we see Larry Craig as the Riddler…I mean Diddler….

Canmon (the Inadequate) January 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

That’s not Spiderman. It’s the Red Skull in a Spiderman mask.

NoWireHangers January 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm
articulate moran January 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=213057]Schadenfried[/re]: Tom always did remind me of Barry. I can’t wait for next season, if there is one.

Chet Kincaid January 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=213045]Theodorick Of York[/re]: Norman Osborn was the Green Gobbler. His son, Harry, was the Knob Gobbler.

AfghanVet January 8, 2009 at 2:07 pm

[re=213044]Obamaton[/re]: “I’m Don Cornelius and I will be your head steward for this flight on Air Force One…”

shortsshortsshorts January 8, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Carmelo Junior on January 3rd, 2009 1:54 pm

Our new president was not only a party animal but a crack head, pot head, drunk, and there are rumors that he is bi…well the bi part has never been confirmed!?
______________________________
AND NOW HE’S HOBNOBBING WITH SPIDERMAN, TOO? OHOHOHOIHEW O(U @!)($J( ()MM !!!!!1!!!!!!

AfghanVet January 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm

So…just a random thought, but I think Hopey should get Dave Chappel to be his Press Secretary.

magic titty January 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Which one is Barack Obama?

norbizness January 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Part of the Spidey song goes “He’s got radioactive blood,” open hearing which the Secret Service tries to gang-tackle the webslinger. And all people should be drawn like Tony “Candyman” Todd, which recently appeared as an African warlord on that 24: Redemption movie.

Fly Over Girl January 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Wait … that’s not President-elect Barack Obama. That’s Bizarro President-elect Barack Obama!

american mutt January 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm

i am so buying this.

Hostile Michigander January 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm

I have trouble believing Obama got elected in the Marvel Universe. The government there is even more facist than the one in ours.

Also, Barack’s insistence that he’d meet Doctor Doom without preconditions would totally sink his chances.

Fly Over Girl January 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=213084]Chet Kincaid[/re]: Isn’t Norm Coleman the Green-Eyed Goblin and Mark Foley is the Knob Gobbler?

Chet Kincaid January 8, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=213033]Troof[/re]: It’s not a three-piece suit – the comic is about villains trying to foil the swearing-in. So it must be an overcoat.

TGY January 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Artistic sense…tingling…

Anonymous Office Zombie January 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=213069]MrAgro[/re]:
Bah, they should have used The Vulture reference to take a shot at McCain. And then, they could have cut to McCain blabbering on about his ‘Nam stories to The Punisher. And then, an annoyed Punisher could have made a happy ending by using his bazooka to end the conversation.

Nim, ham hock of liberty January 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Needs a crying Statue of Liberty.

actor212 January 8, 2009 at 2:16 pm

His superpower is change.

actor212 January 8, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=213095]Fly Over Girl[/re]: He was never accused of cocksucking but of groping, so Foley clearly was Dr Octopus

FreshCliches January 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Given the yarmulke, I’d say he’s related to Sammy Davis, Jr.

Christ, I’m old.

Chet Kincaid January 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=213102]actor212[/re]: Goddamit, I was just about to post that!!

Monsieur Grumpe January 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm

What super powers does Barry have?

AngryBlakGuy January 8, 2009 at 2:18 pm

…I wonder which black super-hero Barack Obama is?

-BLACK Panther?
-BLACK Lightning?
-BLACK Goliath?
-BLACK Vulcan?

Hmmmmmmmm, Im starting to notice a pattern! Maybe we should name him the BLACK Unicorn!?

Sassette January 8, 2009 at 2:19 pm

That guy doesn’t even have big goofy ears. Has anyone at Marvel ever seen Barack Obama?

loudmouthredhead January 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm

EVERYONE in the marvel universe has roid-rage muscles, even a fat ass like the Kingpin. Not sure how that could possibly happen but, hey, it’s a comic.

[re=213070]you cannot be serious[/re]: Shoulda gone with that fat lady…[re=213057]Schadenfried[/re]: I thought the same thing, ha. Barry probably doesn’t fear “The Health Inspector” though.

choinski January 8, 2009 at 2:21 pm

So the sixpack Obama was photographed with in Hawaii was just drawn on?

Reminds me of those 1980′s GI Joe cartoons where every charachter – including the President – was drawn as an overblown steroid case.

loudmouthredhead January 8, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=213108]Sassette[/re]: Strange how Jim Rhodes from Iron Man looks more realistically “black” than this Barry…what are you sayin’, Marvel!?

mdotsota January 8, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=213057]Schadenfried[/re]: Barry differs from Tom on the “should someone be locked up if she doesn’t get out of the way of your pee” issue.

loudmouthredhead January 8, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Geez, Secret Service. I know we have plenty of cracka-ass racists in this country, but isn’t bullet-proof glass and buff guys with earpieces enough?

GuyOnTheWing January 8, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Barack has pretty shockingly Arian features in that cell… I don’t think the marvel comic animator’s hand would let him draw a black president.

Sussemilch January 8, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Looks like a Skrull to me.

Cape Clod January 8, 2009 at 2:28 pm

I think doing a fist bump would end up with Barry wrapped up in a silk cocoon.

Vewol Mevemont January 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=213121]GuyOnTheWing[/re]: That’s what I was thinking. This looks like a poorly drawn white person with an extreme tan. For that matter, it could be John Boehner, although the tan would have to be more orange.

actor212 January 8, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=213104]Chet Kincaid[/re]: Snooze you lose, bro. Sorry.

Fly Over Girl January 8, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=213102]actor212[/re]: Ah, thanks!

Why not start a political Marvel Universe? Kitty Harris can be the villainous Pink Sugar.

Chet Kincaid January 8, 2009 at 2:43 pm

At the end of the issue, Ultimate Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) approaches George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton in a Washington bar to propose forming….the X Presidents.

shanemacgowan January 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm

That guy looks too nice. Marvel world needs angryblakguy.

Trace January 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm

So Spider-Man can save Obama in a comic before the actual inauguration, but he couldn’t prevent 9/11 in a comic AFTER the attacks? What good are you, anyway, web-head?

Barrelhse January 8, 2009 at 3:03 pm

It’s OJ.

bitchincamaro January 8, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Cartoon drawing person should have stripped in “Inaugural Cookies Obama” and prevented this entire broo-haha.

myheadsexploding January 8, 2009 at 3:23 pm

It’s President Buffed Up Chris Rock. Everybody in this comic has an overbite.

threeb January 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm

At least it wasn’t Palin in the executive seat, because if asked what comic books she reads, she’d say “all of them.”

NotthatLC January 8, 2009 at 3:57 pm

And yet the drawing of Obama on the cover actually looks like him, skin color, big ears, and all. Drives me crazy when they do that.

karenology January 8, 2009 at 4:05 pm
kbanginmotown January 8, 2009 at 4:24 pm

Black person’s ears are not sicky-outy enough to be the O-man’s.

Mahousu January 8, 2009 at 5:03 pm

It looks like Spidey’s calling for /b/lackup. Honestly, this 4chan crap is getting out of hand.

ToeCramps January 8, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Spidey can just back da fuk up! Hopey is bi! Bi-partisan! Wah da hell u thought?

Aloysius January 9, 2009 at 11:08 am

[re=213122]Sussemilch[/re]: Totally Skrull. You’re absolutely right. Which is why the PUMAs and Freepers are going so apeshit: they’re the only ones who recognize that Barry’s a Skrull shapeshifter, and is therefore an illegal alien.

No need to worry until Marvel Barry puts Frank Castle in charge of Homeland Security.

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