Wonkette
OKAY NOW IT IS TIME FOR THE REAL BLOGGIES: We don’t even know what that other Weblog Awards thing is about, other than you should keep voting for us, because why not? But the real true authentic Weblog Awards Thing is back, and accepting nominations for all your favorite categories of websites such as “Best Mexican Blog” and “Best Blog About Trig Palin’s Birth Records.”
Also, here are some categories for which you might want to nominate your Wonkette: Best Weblog About Politics, Most Humorous Weblog, Lifetime Achievement, Weblog of the Year, etc. If you are drunk, remember you must scroll horizontally, to the right (wing), in order to see the places to enter the blogs. You don’t need to fill ‘em all out, either. Just nominate Matt Drudge for best LGBT Food blog from Nova Scotia and be done with it! [2009 Bloggies]
Another call to arms Wonketteers, Vote for Jesus’ General over at the Web Blog award:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-very-large-blog/
Jesus’ General will have the all five PUMAs swooning with manliness.
I’m such a lemming - I did all of the above. I also voted you best writing and best arts and crafts or whatever, ’cause… blingees?
God that scrolling is worse than cancer. Who decided the right scrolling page was going to be a brilliant idea?
Haha! Just nominated Confluence and PumaPAC as ‘most humorous blogs’. Plus nominations for Wonkette, Rumproast, Comics Curmudgeon, Deadspin and our boy ~synthesis~, of course.
Vote early and often!
Okay I nominated Wonkette for everything, including Best Design, Best Latin American Blog, and Best Blogging Software.
whenPUMAsattack: stop whining and use your scroll wheel, it works fine.
Damn, they don’t even qualify for one of their own awards. These rubes know nothing about self-promotion.
Wonkette wishes it was half as good as the Confluence.
I love how the authority for good Web sites thinks it’s a good idea to scroll everything horizontally. That’s like Brownie being in charge of FEMA….
I wonder if Darragh Murphy ever played ping-pong.
They want the URL, also.
Too damn much work for this time of night. I’ll try again in the morning. Though I may have successfully nominated Wonkette for Best New Zealand blog.
Also, if y’all would be so kind, could you show some love to the boys over at Defamer, too?
It says one vote per person, but they’re just going by email address, right? So if we have more than one email address…
O.K. Wonkette since you’ve been telling us to vote for this and that I cannot do anything without your command. Now tell me – should I have sex with my boyfriend or just dumb him for a fat Mexican lesbian – not sure where to find one since I’ve never met a real life Mexican – just like Noonan.
riverdaughter: Yes, the recipe for self-inflicted shit sandwich would leave out the feces.
riverdaughter: Love the avatar!
Do you have any good recipes for cheesecake?
Tommy Says Soooo: “I wonder if Darragh Murphy ever played ping-pong.”
Somewhat on the topic of PUMAs-
http://operationpiedpiper.blogspot.com/
Tommy Says Soooo: we like you.
Dreamer: Have sex with him (for your enjoyment), and then dump him for … oh, what the hell, just keep him, and have your lesbian affair with some gal at the gym or whatever. Wonkette is all for DOMESTIC HARMONY.
Maus: Login and pwd plz?
Shit, it wouldn’t take my Wonkette nominations because I didn’t nominate other blogs for second and third in those categories. So I shall nominate Wonkette all the way down. Somehow that sounds vaguely sexual. Perhaps I should get out more.
Dreamer: We are all fat Mexican lesbians now.
Hagar — Are you sure? I only nominated one for each category and it worked fine.
It was confusing. I think I might have voted for Pat Buchanan by accident.
I NOMINATE PUMAPAC.COM, for reasons that I will never understand.
You spend a few months away from the computer building a hospital and what happens? Your husband starts inventing affairs between you and one of your candy stripers so he can chase after another married man. This wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that he’s so busy playing with my makeup kit that I am not getting laid. Sauron is preoccupied and pickings are slim in Barad-dûr. If you’re picky about orc sex, anyway. Which I am. They killed me once. On my husband’s orders, yeah, but having sex with more than one of your previous murderers is just overdoing it.
Dreamer: My vote is scissor a fat mexican lesbian (a tortillera). Of course, I’m bias on this whole thing.
riverdaughter: wow, Second Life sounds like a crazy community.
I nominated Confluence for best food blog (there was, after all, that post on cakes gone berserk), and Wonkette and ~synthesis~ for a bunch of other stuff, and not just because I totally have a crush on the ~synthesis~ guy!
Nigerian Business Executive: Now I’m thinking about ~synthesis~ man guy. The PAGAN still scares me. I don’t wanna rag on him, I like his blog thing, but I still can’t get over the bollywood murderer look.
My blog might be very small, but it’s mighty thin.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m glad I won’t have to challenge you to a duel for his (completely imaginary) love. It would be a shame to dispatch someone with so fine a name as yours.
Nigerian Business Executive: Thank god, as I would never want to accuse someone of being Sonjay Gupta.
shortsshortsshorts: Sonja Gupta … wasn’t she a Norwindian figure skating Bollywood star from the 1940s, or am I confusing her with someone else?
Nigerian Business Executive: Well you know, they all sound the same these days. We were talking about blogs, right?
This anally retentive list-to-end-all- lists dude was on Talk of the Nation last week ranting about how commenters have taken over and ruined so many blogs. (Rex Sorgatz, Fimoculous.com) And he didn’t name “Wonkette” on his list of the best 3,000,000,000 blogs either. Coincidence?
So, are commenters the new Negroes?
Cuz there are no Bloggies for Best Site for Commenters either.
chuckydaughter: Your husband starts inventing affairs between you and one of your candy stripers so he can chase after another married man.
I wonder….?
Nah, couldn’t be… me?
Obama’s Bitch: My birthday was three days ago. My son gave me chocolates, introduced me to his girlfriend, Gladys (whose name used to be Jeff), and told me that he might be gay because his father failed to give him enough love as a child. I reminded him that he was only a child for a few weeks, and that his father is in fact an iconic figure of evil! florists. He seemed satisfied with that.
Worry not. I’ve nominated Wonkette and The Confluence for The Best Teen Blog award. You may thank me later. Actually, no thanks necessary. I mean that, like, really. Truth.
riverdaughter: Children are such simple beings. They actually believe the florist story still. As long as they never believe their father was a United States Senator, I think your good, doood.
If you would like to tell them horror stories about the California legislature, however, I’m sure there would be a few lifetime lessons. These budgets apparently don’t solve themselves.
riverdaughter: Laura, this is not the Respirdal board. Stay in Crawford and increase the guards.
S.Luggo: Ya but dat wuz fon, bro. We fratted out on dat *high five*.
WHOOO. ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA OMEGA ALPHA. WE ROOL.
OH yes and I forgot:
A BLOGGIE IS A REALLY IMPORTANT FUCKING IMPORTANT THING. YOU DON’T JUST GIVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT AWAY.
Wonkette, you could just parachute you in there.
The end. Goodnight.
shortsshortsshorts: Was that Condi’s latest transmission to the US Viceroy in Tel Aviv?
Nominated Billy Kristol and Ann Coulter in the Best Food Blog category. Hope that Malkin is not pissed, although she is so damned cute when she angry. Arf.
What, no heartwarming, lovey-dovey, “Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Spoon” sign-offs like those charmers over at Confluence? And apparently I totally missed the recipe exchange. Whatever — I didn’t want to share my recipe for Brownie Surprise anyway.
Cranky Little Camperette: An appropriate “The Confluence” sign-off? Just end your post with a picture of snuggelicious furry kttens. And maybe a wee, tiny, eight paragraph tirade against Obama.
You know, when this war is over, the make-up-sex between Wonkette and The Confluence is going to be really nasty.
Cranky Little Camperette: Rust never sleeps. Heh heh.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: There. Right there. You just ruined my night.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Inter-species “make-up sex”? In your dreams.
Tommy Says Soooo: You mean like those girls in Bangcok?
S.Luggo: But Coulter is too stringy, and gamey to boot. Also.
Is there an award for “Most Frequent Use of the Word ‘TruckNutz’”?
Nigerian Business Executive: No she’s our new SURGEON GENERAL to replace Janet Reno! Learn some RESPECT!
trondant: S.Luggo: And Kristol’s face is too red; you know it’s not healthy to eat red chicken hawk. Mr. Woo in Deadwood might take them for food though.
All of these Blog awards are rigged against honest, hard working white american women anyway. I propose a new blog award for honest hard working white american women, that the Pumas can rig, change the voting rules along the way, cry, and deliver mouth breathing acceptance speeches (should they be able to waddle up to the podum (virtual or not))
Can someone start emailing these Puma sites saying you are a venture capitalist wanting to buy them up for like $100m and IPO them? I visualize an exchange along the lines of the classic 419 eater’s Church of the Painted Tit: http://www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm
Dear Ken,
Now that your loyal army of mindless drones has elevated TPM to a comfortable silver, why not throw a bone to Crooks and Liars, a generally interesting and mildly entertaining blog currently 1500 votes behind The Confluence.
Listen, those PUMA’s are terrible humorless people running a terrible humorless blog and if they are awarded the bronze they will use it to launch a Palin/DraculaCunt 2012 campaign. They must be stopped.
Now I know what a two dollar whore feels like.
Thanks Wonkette
You want to pimp me out to for another webblog award or can I get dressed now?
My slate: Wonkette for whatever; Confluence and PumaPAC for best teen blog and best African blog (they love the blacks!).
AWOcoholic: Yes, please its bad enough even being in the same category with those morans. They shouldn’t be allowed in the top 3-5
I nominated Wonkette for best porn blog.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Any Wonketteers who have slept with Kathy Bates will be excused.
Please get people to vote Andrew Sullivan in the Best Blog for Weblog Awards. Can’t let Hot Air win.
That scrolling makes me dizzy. I feel sort of ill now.
AWOcoholic: No, no, no to C&L. It MUST be Taylor Marsh, because it would cause the spontaneous combustion of epic fail PUMAs everywhere.
Can’t say I particularly care for Taylor, but she’s got a mind of her own and ain’t afraid to use it. She wasn’t one of the “Vote Dickless, Regardless” crew, aka PUMA.
The final insult. I say we man up and vote for the broad.
Will I get banned if I ask to borrow some minions to nominate my blog for Best New Blog That No One Reads?
http://mrbloggington.blogspot.com/
Are we going to spend the rest of ‘09 block-voter on the internet just to piss off a bunch aging, hammer-headed sorority girls? If we are, then I guess the internet is living up to all its promises.
N8Ma: Ooops! Sorry! I thought the new Sturgeon General was that long-haired guy from American Idol. I must remember not to confuse political and pop culture references from now on.
I can’t help it, I feel compelled to vote for “Lizard People” now, for everything, forever. They are the change I can believe in and the change I deserve.
Canuckledragger:
I agree, the kitties would asplode. I’ve been voting for her.
jagorev: wow, you are good. I nominated it for about 5, but didn’t even think to do the Asian or Latin American ones.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: oh, ew ew ew. If I step out on my husband for a woman, it is going to be Salma Hayek, not Shamu HilltardforMcCain.
Doglessliberal: You better bring your husband along. I say this as a person who wields an avatar for a purpose.
Tommy Says Soooo: I think he would happily accompany me.
I can’t figure out where to nominate myself for best horse racing blog. Sports? Hobbies? There doesn’t seem to be one for Best Generic Snark. And why no categories for best beer blog? Clearly, the people behind this are not real web developers.
Since you have to vote for three blogs for your submission to count, and because I have absolutely not one shred of shame, I ask my fellow Wonketteers to vote for me for best new “weblog” (whatever that is). Kthx.
WHAT? WHAT IS A URL AND WHY DO I NEED ONE?
We should continue to support Shafeen at ~synthesis~, he finally posted a response to the PUMA action (oxymoronic?… no plans to find out):
Hello all - thank you for your …energetic participation in this little debate about the award.
There are two reasons I started this blog three months ago, first as a bit of self-therapy/venting, and second to share some ideas with the ether in the hopes of debate/conversation.
The former is my own thing, but the latter requires participation and readership. For that, my first surprise was getting picked by the selection team as a finalist, and then when Jim et al at Wonkette decided to support this blog (for whatever reason), suddenly the viewership has grown, and I’m starting to see more participation. I’m very happy about that, and very grateful to Wonkette and its readers for voting for me.
If I do get a vote because someone else said “go check out his blog”, I’m not going to reject it. Just like any candidate in the last primary or election would not reject a vote no matter the motivation of the voter.
Whether ~synthesis~ wins is not up to me (I can only vote once/day), and if some of you are upset that you have “lost” votes because you feel they wrongly came to me, I can’t help that either.
In the mean time - take a read of some of the other entries, and feel free to comment!
Thank you all again …shafeen
Posted by: shafeen | Jan 08, 2009 at 09:07
I can’t wait for this obnoxious award circle jerk to end. I nominate Kev-O-Tron for “most hungover on a consistent, daily basis”.