Look. These new PUMAs are really annoying. They’re as reactionary as the Paultards circa late 2007, but at least the Paultards had ideas, man, they had a fuckin’ ethos. These PUMAs, on the other hand, are thoughtless, easily manipulable and selfish to the extent that when they don’t get what they want, they blame everyone else for stealing something and offending them, when really no significant events in the real world could affect them in any meaningful way. These are the people who get personally offended, for some reason, when they hear that Britney Spears went driving with a baby on her lap, or, more pertinently, when Hillary Clinton didn’t get as many delegates as her contender. Grow up.
We considered warring with them for hilarity’s sake, but they’re just too pathetic and besides, frigid January is a poor time of the year to commence warring.
So enough with the Confluence bloggers, who will not shut the fuck up about how we’re cheating simply because we have many, many votes in the Weblog Awards. Well, guess what, Confluence, some blogs get 100,000 visitors a day, and some blogs are Confluence. Goodbye forever.
A couple of other things you can do, though, to fuck with these PUMAs from the privacy of your own home.
- In “Best Small Blog,” we wholeheartedly endorse the excellent Rumproast blog, and you should vote for them daily. They have bravely been messing with the PUMAs since this summer, consistently, and with hilarious results. The PUMAs noticed that they’d been nominated in this category and are mobilizing their entire Internet loser base to prevent Rumproast from winning. Make Rumproast win.
- Another “major” nominated PUMA blog this year in the category of “Best New Blog” is one called “Uppity Woman” (jesus christ) and it cannot be allowed to win. So we arbitrarily endorse another one called “~ synthesis ~” because it has a fun-lookin’ name. Vote “~ synthesis ~”, the best new blog in America.