Wonkette
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A black person named Roland Burris — who carries the weight of an entire oppressed race on his shoulders — went to the Capitol today to be sworn into the Senate, just as Rod Blagojevich asked him to. He had his papers all lined up, a sharp suit, a positive frame of mind. It was to be a new day for America’s African-Americans, this day was. But then racist old Harry Reid told the Capitol guards that he didn’t want some colored walkin’ on his shiny marble floors unless he had a mop in his hands. Old Roland has seen this all too many times, over the years. It’s been his life. But it’s the life he’s chosen, you see! Hope for America’s blacks will have to endure yet another sunset, and Burris, yet another sunrise. [MSNBC]
Why don’t they just seat him in the back of the Senate?
It gives Strange Fruit a whole ‘nother meaning, what with the Larry Craig.
He’s just unfortunate in being Fruit of the Poisoned Taint or something.
My favorite part was when the anchor on FOX commented that Burris looked a little frightened by the “scrum”….and FOX reporter Brian Wilson replied with “ya, he’s probably used to the Chicago media, he hasn’t seen the DC media. It’s big and dangerous and people can get hurt in these scrums”…and then went on to further brag about how rough and tumble the DC media scrum/circus is and how one photographer actually fell and that’s what happens in rough and tumble DC. Unlike wussy Chicago and their local reporters.
Today, we are all slightly corrupt black former Attorneys General from Illinois.
Lame. Call me when he takes a running start and barrels his way through.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph DiMaggio…can’t we just seal this wretched toad in his marble house and foreclose on it already. He makes the Plumber look the height of decorum and humility.
There are treatments available for a “Hairy Reid.”
THAT’S NOT RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE!!!!!1!
Can’t he just slip in by telling the guards that Feinstein needs a nooner?
Someone needs to buy Harry Reid a barrel of Truck Nutz or a bucket of impulse control so he can keep his trap shut. Why would he say he’s going to refuse Burris his seat when he can’t? Why????? He’s like a five year old talking about how his dad can jump higher than the moon. And now he either has to be a cracker dickhead or he has to back down. Again. Maybe the Dems can just get it over with and make Jim Varney the Majority Leader. If you’re going for ineptitude, go all the way. Also.
Lascauxcaveman: You just wanted a chance to use the plural “Attorneys General.” Show off.
Harry Reid will capitulate in 5…4…3…2…
CrunchyKnee: You might want to let the ladies over at confluence know about that. They might find it helpful.
Meh. Color me unimpressed until Reid hauls out the baseball bat and starts quoting George Wallace.
Harry, don’t let off you Lieberman steam on the help.
Can’t watch at work. I’m guessing the video cuts off before the water hoses are unleashed?
I’m sure Confluence is having a very serious conversation about this, right now.
I bet they’d let him in if he promised to make Blagojevich get a haircut.
It says something about Roland Burris that he would accept Blago’s appointment. Danny Davis turned it down because he knew Blago was trying to create a shit storm by daring the fill the seat, and that Blago was looking for a person of color to make it even harder for Harry Reid to refuse to seat whoever he picked. Burris agreed to be Blago’s pawn and play this stupid game on the chance that he could hold onto the seat. It’s sleazy. Burris isn’t an idiot. He heard Harry Reid’s threats just like we all did. Yet he still chose to accept the seat and do this whole, humble servant/racial undertones thing. It stinks.
Let him in. This is a giant step forward for black people everywhere. When Africans were getting munched on by sharks after jumping out of slave ships, their last thoughts certainly were that one day a black man would get appointed to the Senate by a white dude caught on tape trying to blackmail the FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT for that same apointment.
Burris is a pathetic shucking and jivin opportunist vampire. It will be a bright new day for all of us withn he, Jackson Sr., and their corrupt rotten ilk are finally rotting in their bespoke mauseleums.
NoWireHangers: Yeah, but everybody involved looks like they are not trying to be diplomatic, or reasonable, so Burris comes off looking a bit like a victim. Plus he’s old, and people are like awwwww…
NoWireHangers: BUT BLAGO IS STILL GOVERNOR HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS YOU BETTER SEND HIM UNMARKED HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS FOR THAT.
I think there needs to be more Nation of Islam bodygaurds with bow ties surrounding him, then they would let him in
NoWireHangers: An idiot? Nay. A proud idiot, says I.
You see that rain? That was God’s tears, man. God had his heart set on this, for sure. Seems like His will just doesn’t get done unless some rednecks somewhere decide to lend him a helping hand or whatever. I don’t know. Like I would know. I’m not a theologian or whatever.
Roland is going to DOUBLE DOG DARE Harry to deny him a seat in the Senate, and we all know how that one comes out. (I’d actually love to see his tongue stuck on a flagpole in front of the capitol.)
Jesus Chris, Reid is an idiot. Never engage in a power struggle that you have no way of winning.
Trace: Those aren’t God’s tears. That’s the cast off from the firehoses. Apparently, the capitol police can’t hit the broad side of a barn.
I am not a sot. I am not a sot. I am not a sot. I am not a sot.
If I keep saying it does it make it so? NOT
Min: I don’t know. Can we compromise and say that it’s God’s firehoses or something? I just really don’t think we should try to remove our Lord from the comments. That’s just asking for trouble.
Reid is such a fucking moron. Way to take a story that everyone would forget about by next week and blow it up to soak up more news cycles in which everyone is reminded that Democrats can be as dim-witted and corrupt as Republicans.
…Harry Reid is the EPITOME incompetence! He is turning this into one gigantic circus. Just seat Burris, increase the senatorial majority and let the whole Blago indictment play out in the courts. Instead he wants to all of a sudden grow a pair and throw his weight around. Where the hell was he when “W” and Cheney were using the constitution as a floor mat? As if we needed another reason to replace his ass head of the Senate?!
CorkPopper:
“Red rover, red rover, send ROLAND right over!!!”
Way to go, Sen. Reid.
I’m kind of surprised that he didn’t start his press conference by using the third person: “Roland Burris’s name is Roland Burris.”
Sorry, black guy in the Senate? Been there. Done that.
Look, this is America, people. No black people in the Senate, no Muslins on airplanes, no saggy titted Hillary supporters on the Wonkette. Love it or leave it, punk.
20 minute long SNL spoof on black man attempting to find a seat at the Senate in 5, 4, 3… well, ok, maybe on Saturday. If only he were blind…
I remember when he was picked all the people saying “Sure he’s a good choice….but Blago blah blah”. Now after hearing from him, lo these many weeks, he seems like exactly the kind of shameless, demented, self-obsessed cretin that we all assumed Blagojevich would install. Well done, Rod!
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Republican Senate lawmakers have proposed seating Burris, but only allowing him three-fifths of a vote, sources said. A spokesman for Reid declined to comment.
NoYou, I just quoted you on my facebook page FYI. Teh tubes wouldn’t let me do a direct comment so I just be filling this out. Hilarious!
No, I am not taking my effing negro back. He is your negro now you effing effers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. See how cool my superior effing political maneuvers are????
Jeez Blaggy. You really should consider becoming a Repug. You got the hair, the character, and the brains to be a big wheel in the RNC.
BBC’s World Service just reported the story and called Burris a ‘prominent African-American.’
Harry Reid, on his way to the office: Got to remember, Seat Democrats, unseat Republicans. Unseat Repub… Er, unseat Dems… Seat Repub…Hey, wait, that’s not right! Dammit, I wrote it down last night.
I have come to love Blago. Burris? Not so much. However, seeing as the Boxing Mormon has no legal leg to stand on, I look forward to his comeuppance in court. Blago gonna win this round. And anyone who can make Hairy Reid look like the spineless, hapless Republican lapdog that he is is OK in my book. So you go, RoBur & Blago! Stick it to Hairy. Maybe finally the Dems will realize they need to replace this incompetent fool of a majority leader.
chascates: Every time some random embarassing old dude gets tagged a “prominent African American” in news reports, I close my eyes and wish for a process by which we (we as in black people, sorry) could disown them. Loudmouthed cartoons such as Jesse Jackson spring first to mind, and idiots like this. Then the really dumb rappers. Ball-players fond of guns and dogs. We could call those booted “gray people”. No, that’s not cartoonish enough. “Bling people”. There we go.
Blago! Take your effing Blingee back.
Mustang: Rumor has it that Blags strongly prefers teh ladies, so the Rebubs won’t have him anyway.
wowscrait: Roland Burris follows in the long line of milquetoast, ineffective black politicians who make no waves and have no accomplishments - more bumbling civil servants than political leaders - Blackface Alan Colmes’s, if you will. See David Dinkins, ex-mayor of NYC, and Eugene Sawyer, one of Chicago’s between-Daley-Dynasties Seat Warmers. If we’re going to be tossing people out of The Race, there will have to be more claim denial categories so that these gentlemen don’t get lumped in with wide receivers who shoot themselves in the nuts. We must discriminate!
Chet Kincaid: Good catch! Bling People, Gray People, and Shiny Shellacked Perm People.
Trace: G-d is pissing on them!
Zhu Bajie