America Deserves To Know What Malia Wore On Her First Day Of School

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  • Leon Panetta, a former White House chief of staff to Bill Clinton, is Obama’s pick for C.I.A. Chief. If that sounds weird, that’s because it is, but Panetta was apparently the only candidate with “experience” who wasn’t somehow tied up with Bush’s seedy detention and interrogation schemes. [New York Times]
  • CDR, the financial firm that cost Bill Richardson his Commerce Secretary position, is apparently entangled in many shady doings across our great nation, not just in New Mexico. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Armed goons shot up the offices of Sri Lanka’s largest private television broadcaster. [BBC News]
  • Logitech, which is almost certainly the maker of the mouse you use to surf the Internet for your precious porn, plans to cut back its non-manufacturing staff by 15 percent. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Meg Whitman did such a fantastic job chairing John McCain’s Presidential campaign — he is the President now, after all! — that inside sources say she has decided to apply her great political skills to running for governor of California. [San Jose Mercury News]
  • “Sasha was seen carrying a pink, magenta and gray backpack and wore blue jeans and a brown jacket with a hood. Her hair was pulled into two braids.” That is not a missing person’s report, that is a little puff-piece on the Obama sisters’ first day of school. [Washington Post]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • norbizness

    Tomorrow: The Washington Post editors, in lieu of another Fred Hiatt editorial extolling the virtues of the Bush Administration, reserve opinion page space for the results of a seance with Mr. Blackwell where the disembodied spirit is shown pictures (or at least the above extensive description) of the Obamakins’ wardrobes.

  • Darehead

    Sarah Palin commented that it was a good thing Richardson won’t be joining the Obama entourage. Otherwise he, Richardson, might put on a blindfold and hit Panetta with a stick.

  • Bruno

    Good luck Meg, we will be fighting for Arnie all the way. The only shot you’ll have is when they approve Arnie to run for Prez because they let a Kenyan-born Indonesian be Prez, even though he doesn’t have a birth certificate, only a forged CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH, and Australians are much more white so therefore Arnie is more natural born.

  • ManchuCandidate

    “Meg W: A hands-on corporate leader with a marketing background and Harvard MBA.”

    After what I’ve seen from the Walnuts campagne there is a lot of wrong in that sentence. The correct sentence should be

    “Meg W: A hands-on corporate asshole with delusions of competence with a self-marketing background and now worthless Havhad MBA.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Oy! Arnie’s not an Australian.


    is an Australian!

  • Kingbee

    There’s been a misunderstanding! That’s Leon “Pancetta”, and he’s being named head of the other CIA — Culinary Institute of America!

  • charlesdegoal

    CDR in cahoots with AIG getting paid unjustified fees. Getting continually screwed like this is getting tiresome.
    Nationalize those businesses and put the owners in jail.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    My mouse is unemployed? Did I read that right?

  • Larry McAwful

    Meg Whitman’s political career is going to be derailed once news breaks of her allowing Rod Blagojevich to put Obama’s Senate seat on eBay.


    [re=209530]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Australia. Austria. They are both in Europe are they?

  • timeoutofmind

    wonkette, that’s why you’re writing for a backwater blog, and yer knot a reel journalister.

    the post knows what’s news — the obama sister’s outfits will only reign briefly, and we’ll be back to the looming issue for the next five or six or fifteen cycles: NBC censoring Serious News Pundits.

    I look forward to this feud coverage continuing on Fox forever, even after NBC-Today caves like pantywaists , which should happen by, oh .. i dunno, as i’m hitting Submit ?

  • WadISay

    Well, Meg W., if you need a wardrobe to run it, there’s a bunch of stuff still sittin’ in th’ belly uh th’ plane.

  • magic titty

    I take offense! My mouse is a DELL.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    and wore blue jeans and a brown jacket with a hood.

    What color were her shirt and shoes and socks and little-girl panties? C’mon, pervs like me want to know! Do some digging!

  • TGY

    …Paunch de Leon?

  • TJBeck

    Tell Meg Whitman she needs to kill Sarah Connor first, then we’ll consider her.

  • sarcasticusername

    why the hell does wapo have something called kidnews, in which they give us detailed information about the lives of unsuspecting little children? well they do lean a little to the right so i guess pedophiles do make up a significant portion of their subscription base, i suppose in a way they should be applauded for giving their readers what they want.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=209539]WIDTAP[/re]: We had a manager who said that- really- but then I work for the gubermint

  • Bruno

    [re=209530]ManchuCandidate[/re]: yeah, sure he’s Austrian. You might as well say he from Oopha-Loompa land. If he’s not Australian, where did he get that funny non-natural born accent, the Ivy League?

  • Bruno

    [re=209714]finallyhappy[/re]: I am very pleased to see the guberment has not banned wonkette on its internets. Do they have good porn too?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Ha! That just shows what you know, Sarah. I surf for my porn using a touchpad. Which is kind of unsanitary, now that I think about it.

  • mylesfromnowhere

    [re=209990]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: using my touchpad…that’s what I call it too, wehn i’m not just twittering it.