• May 26, 2012

Ha Ha, Best ‘Liberal’ Blog Somehow Between Wonkette And PUMA Site

by Jim Newell  11:00 pm January 5, 2009

So we checked out our “competitor,” the Confluence blog, and, as many of you have already discovered… it’s a PUMA site! They have a post called, “An Interview with Harriet Christian, NY Senate Seat Contender.” Oh man. Welcome to our radar, Confluence! [The Confluence]

{ 142 comments }

Mr Blifil January 5, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Real buncha genii over there:

helenk, on January 5th, 2009 at 7:18 pm Said:
help
I went to the bloggy thing and nominated The Confluence and riverdaughter. They say I have to nominate three and put in a url. What is a url and why do I need one?

Jesus fucking christ.

Keram2 January 5, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Fauxgressives? Seriously??

Fuck it. That’s the last straw. I’m voting republican and reading Little Green Footballs from now on. Bad puns are not acceptable.

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:07 pm

“Wonkette is beating the pantSUITS off us- “

tiny mexican January 5, 2009 at 11:07 pm

I just posted in this in that OTHER post but beloved baseball man Nate Silver is up against the Whitey Tape Gang in Best Political Coverage so make sure you show him some love.

http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-political-coverage/

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:09 pm

[re=209377]Keram2[/re]: I don’t even think ‘fauxgressives’ even qualifies as a pun. World’s shittiest portmanteau, perhaps?

cal January 5, 2009 at 11:12 pm

I just checked out Rumproast, and they definitely deserve some Wonkette love, if only for their hatred of Paultards. And it’s pretty funny, too (“Gnik Sadim” on their top ten is my favorite so far).

Also, their competitor Nice Deb must die. The end.

DoctorCulturae January 5, 2009 at 11:13 pm

“Fauxgressives?”… The only way to cleanse myself properly is to once again flush my head in the toilet. Please tell me they will go away when I return.

Bagglio Ordonez January 5, 2009 at 11:14 pm

Is confluence codespeak for menstruation?

KTHXBAI January 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

Just checked the results after voting and it looks like electoral map on Wednesday morning. And guess who’s Barry Hussein? Thatz right…your Wonkette.

P.S. New topic since Wonkette isn’t gay enough to bring this up yet…has anyone seen the new piece of ass getting sworn in tomorrow for IL-18? Oh the hatefuck would be epic.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2033/2490061305_d154c73050.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2351/2490879152_ece251f4a9.jpg?v=0

SayItWithWookies January 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm

Their nickname for Obama is “Pampers” (quotes required.) “I need a change” was the slogan in the satirical ad for him. It’s the land of failed memes over there.

sezme January 5, 2009 at 11:19 pm

Well – that took care of that. Wonkette is now the murderer carving backwards Bs on every confluential puma out there. (49% of the vote to %15 fer the also-rans aka lizard people).

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:20 pm

First question in the Harriet Christian interview:

“MB: What made you decide to vie for Senator Clinton’s seat? Was it 9/11?”

dennymcden January 5, 2009 at 11:21 pm

As a gay man w/ a fauxhawk, I take ‘Fauxgressives’ as a homophobic, anti-progressive slur. These women are practically Ann Coulter.

glamourdammerung January 5, 2009 at 11:23 pm

They seriously want Harriet Christian for a senator?

And they are not nominated for a humor blog?

bhosp January 5, 2009 at 11:23 pm

[re=209391]sezme[/re]: Why so serious?

Keram2 January 5, 2009 at 11:24 pm

riverdaughter aka RD: Some of you may know me by my DailyKos username, goldberry. I am a forty something resident of the deepest, darkest jungles of the central New Jersey suburbs…

Ohhhhhh. “RD” is a middleaged Daily Kos writer from Jersey. Everything makes sense now.

cal January 5, 2009 at 11:24 pm

[re=209385]Bagglio Ordonez[/re]: “Conflatulence” is the preferred term, I believe.

El Bombastico January 5, 2009 at 11:28 pm

At least the Confluence blog has the good sense to encourage its readers to vote with references to Rob Zombie’s “House of 1000 Corpses”. Wait… WTF?

Jim Newell January 5, 2009 at 11:31 pm

50.2%. You are all wonderful people, especially when given tasks.

NYNYNY January 5, 2009 at 11:32 pm

Ooh. That’s a mean-spirited bunch of ladies over there.

Jim Newell January 5, 2009 at 11:33 pm

[re=209383]cal[/re]: Yes, please, vote for Rumproast:

http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-small-blog/

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:34 pm

Colbert is totally bogarting the taint meme.

HuskyMescan January 5, 2009 at 11:35 pm

I guess it’s TruckNutz time at Conflatulence. Gear up biznitches.

ladymacbeth January 5, 2009 at 11:37 pm

[re=209388]SayItWithWookies[/re]: failed memes, zero humor.

it was like christmas dinner with old people who hate christmas.

bago January 5, 2009 at 11:38 pm

No results found for “lizard people”.

:(

ManchuCandidate January 5, 2009 at 11:38 pm

We won the war against the Paultards. We earned more McCain points than the McCainiacs. We beat Townhall at EcoChallenge. We outlazed Dipshit McGoo Thompsons’ supporters. We shit on the Thank You W site. I think we can whip old bitter ladies with delusions of grandeur.

BTW, who the fuck is Confluence?

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm

[re=209404]Jim Newell[/re]: The other 49.8% of us are still trying to conquer eco-driving.

FlipOffResearch January 5, 2009 at 11:39 pm

To anyone who’s had the misfortune of reading Garp (I read it but hated it) you will remember the feminist freak group called the Ellen Jamesian’s. Thats who the PUMAs remind me of.

Dreadful Gate January 5, 2009 at 11:40 pm

[re=209404]Jim Newell[/re]: Youowe me a benjamin, Newell.

Vipper of Vipp January 5, 2009 at 11:41 pm

“PUMA” and “pants off” are two concepts I would prefer keep some distance from eachother. Thanks.

p-Sludge January 5, 2009 at 11:42 pm

[re=209395]glamourdammerung[/re]: Exactly! C*nt-effluence should definitely be in the Humor category. And Win. Sorry Curmudgeon.

pattycake January 5, 2009 at 11:47 pm

[re=209413]FlipOffResearch[/re]: If only they would follow the EJians, and cut off their ISPs.

SeminoleInDior January 5, 2009 at 11:48 pm

Voted, but I still haz a big sad for the bitter aftertaste in my mouth after checking out “The Confluence”. Bitter so thick you can cut it with a knife. Bitter that’s so gnarly it curdles more than their thighs. Bitter so large it blocks out even MY ego. Why do they hate America?

davesnothere January 5, 2009 at 11:48 pm

[re=209393]obfuscator[/re]: What a non sequitur! I don’t know about you, but 9/11 had nothing at all with my vying for Hillary’s seat – or did it??

HuskyMescan January 5, 2009 at 11:49 pm

[re=209405]NYNYNY[/re]: the site was originally called an_army_of_stale_vaginas_fused_shut_over_40-50_inactive_and_bitter_years.com but the name was too long.

Neilist January 5, 2009 at 11:51 pm

I keep getting the concepts of “PUMA” and “Cougars” confused.

Then I went to Conflusant or whatever it is, and saw that “DeeandLou” Why Am I A Feminist photo.

:::Shudder:::

obfuscator January 5, 2009 at 11:51 pm

[re=209420]davesnothere[/re]: I constantly find myself conflicted over my desire to “pursue Hillary’s seat”. Hey now.

pattycake January 5, 2009 at 11:52 pm

Also, why is our Wonkette in the “Liberal” category exactly? I thought our Wonkette hated everybody equally.

lovekills January 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

In the radar ever 24 hours

HuskyMescan January 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm

[re=209408]HuskyMescan[/re]: On second thought, that place smells like catfood and rotten cabbage. fuck that.

ladymacbeth January 5, 2009 at 11:59 pm

this latest post? WTF?

is a spectacular scaled replica of the Grotto Our Our Lady of Lourdes, France. It was built in 1911.

this has something to do with lowell MA, jack kerouac and i think maybe possibly brazil. WTF?

on the plus side, the ladies are getting wonkette’d.

Chuck Fildren January 5, 2009 at 11:59 pm

[re=209427]pattycake[/re]: Well, I guess because there’s no WARBLOGGERS section. Shame.

How do PUMAs still exist?

I do have a request for my beloved wonkette for which I did my due diligence in defeating global warming forever using my internetz truck nutz and voted for and will continue to vote for everyday in the bloggy awardy thingy. Take a look at the Best New Blog Award. I looked at 3 of those blogs and one was a PUMA, another is a black republican, and the third was a Paultard. The PUMA was winning and the black republican was in second. Can the Wonkette please choose some one for us to vote for in that category. I don’t think wonkette can exist on an internetz where a PUMA wins any award, albeit a stupid bloggy thingy. Please defeat them.

somelegalbitch January 6, 2009 at 12:04 am

“I am not a feminist. For one thing, I’ve never really known exactly what the term means.” Their anti-feminism post just made me throw up a lot.

SeminoleInDior January 6, 2009 at 12:09 am

The more I think about it, the more upset I get. “Fauxgressive”?! Um, excuse me, but these are the same people that still get moist when someone mentions HRC. The same woman that wears freaking PANTSUITS everyday. That’s not very Progressive. As a fashion-forward woman, and avid (closet) reformer, I take issue with this. If they can out “Progressive” me, I will buy each one of those PERSONS a pair of Birkenstocks (or Clark’s nursing shoes).

GDTRFB January 6, 2009 at 12:21 am

[re=209388]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This alone tells me that all these Confluence-tards (straining here, guilty) are bored idiotic housewives…oh NOOOO, I just said something sexist! On that note, I hear PUMAs like doggy-style.

Rumproast January 6, 2009 at 12:22 am

Thanks for the plug, Jim. Rumproast is competing with a PUMA-endorsed wingnut blog and a Christian family blog that looks like it’s made out of gingerbread and calico dresses.

And whatever you do, though, don’t welcome pumapac.org to your radar. And, whatever you do, don’t search for comments by jenniforhillary. Really. Honestly. Don’t. If you ever want to come up for air again…

jenniforhillary 12.30.08 at 4:42 pm

Scared about the fact that ignorance may be the new IN thing, that the longer people are quiet about what just happened the harder it will be to expose it, that BO is not just a democratically controlled overthrow of America, but rather a republican AND democrat controlled overthrow of America, that I will fade into nothingness because fighting becomes too hard, that BO will be president, that Hillary will NEVER come back to the light, that PUMA will go away (I dreamed about this last night), that I will not have enough money to take care of my animals….

Also, FOR THE FUCKING RECORD–AL FRANKEN is A BIGGER PIG than BLAHBLAH please pumas read the NEWS….NO PUMA can suport Al Franken…he basically called Hillary a histerical cunt and her supporters the same for 1 year on AIR AMERICA….AL FRANKEN should have his pencil penis removed sans pain medicine and left to bleed to death (does that say enough)….

grendel January 6, 2009 at 12:23 am

[re=209435]SeminoleInDior[/re]: Now see… Bitter is infectious just like happiness… keep snarking, it’s the only know cure for the bitterz…

Special Agent Jack Mehoff January 6, 2009 at 12:23 am

We must also resolve to vote ever 24 hours, lest we be down voted.

mothermaven January 6, 2009 at 12:27 am

Do we want to vote for the Black Republican for best new blog or should we pick a dark horse to come from behind?

Ayreon January 6, 2009 at 12:31 am

Besides voting for Wonkette go to every category listed in this post:

http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/captain-spaulding-says-vote/

And vote for their closest competitors (or the current leader if their choice isn’t leading)

DangerousLiberal January 6, 2009 at 12:34 am

[re=209427]pattycake[/re]: Really. Wonkette, a librul blog? With all their support for Cariboo Barbie and Sen Craig and Mark Foley? Meh.

HedCase January 6, 2009 at 12:35 am

so they hate us because we’re united, better organized + more committed? sounds like the Election all over again

mothermaven January 6, 2009 at 12:36 am

I am sorry I had to vote for sassybitchsociety for best new blog.

scaredofthehoya January 6, 2009 at 12:37 am

“I’m a well-paid, suburbanite, college educated, working in a very creative field and I can shoot latte like the best of them. Plus, my boobs don’t sag so I will fit right in with all of the other Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models with PhDs in Architecture that Obama has in his plus column.”

Poor PUMAs … Can I haz my boobies back?

Tra January 6, 2009 at 12:39 am

[re=209404]Jim Newell[/re]: You should really harness us for some kind of pyramid scheme.

ivenson January 6, 2009 at 12:51 am

[re=209444]HedCase[/re]: Don’t forget funny.

EXPERIENCED, STRONG WOMEN AND THE MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM!!!! PUMAS, BUBBAS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE!!!1!!!

JimNewell January 6, 2009 at 12:52 am

[re=209447]Tra[/re]: Yes. Everyone and your friends send money to me and I will invest that in like a new teevee for myself.

nrelement January 6, 2009 at 12:58 am

This is great! I’ve been waiting for months for some blog to expose The Confluence. But don’t pay too much attention to them because that’s what they want. That’s why this contest is so important to them.

Yes, they are serious about Harriett Christian as Senator. They are lunatics.

mdotsota January 6, 2009 at 12:59 am

Quick, someone find out what a confluence is and blingee the shit out of it.

myheadsexploding January 6, 2009 at 1:00 am

i’m a Fauxgressive i’m a Fauxgressive! it sounds so pretty, and french-like. i voted for nate silver too, cuz that’s how i roll.

S.Luggo January 6, 2009 at 1:01 am

A confluence is, for example, a combination of two or more streams into a river. In the case of Confluence, the name is a metaphor for two or more streams of discourse coming together to form a larger idea, an intellectual synthesis. Corn-holing your favorite pet or doobie-sharing does not count.

nrelement January 6, 2009 at 1:03 am

This is what they do. Push polls.

DisenfranchisedVoter, on January 6th, 2009 at 12:14 am Said:

Wonkette is way in the lead. Send the link to your family even if they don’t care about politics and tell them to vote for the Confluence. Wonkette will be difficult to beat but we have to try:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-liberal-blog/

I am guessing that The Confluence has a dedicated cadre of about a few thousand. But when it comes to push polling, they are as good as the Freepers.

NoWireHangers January 6, 2009 at 1:14 am

[re=209438]Rumproast[/re]: Rumproast, I love you! You might hate Pumas more than Newell hates Paultards, and that’s sayin’ somthing. I loved your Puma coverage during the election. With Wonkette and Rumproast against the Pumas they’ll drop faster Hillz under sniper fire.

mdotsota January 6, 2009 at 1:15 am

[re=209411]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Powerful list of accomplishments. Which begs the question, what can’t Wonkette commenters do? Besides stop drinking in the afternoon, I mean?

jagorev January 6, 2009 at 1:21 am

Hey, fellow Wonk-bots, don’t forget to share the love for Fruhlinger’s Comics Curmudgeon, because Josh writes the only funny part of Wonkette (kidding! don’t ban me!):

http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-humor-blog/

shortsshortsshorts January 6, 2009 at 1:30 am

Shit peep. I do not have the etter between k and m anymore on the keyboard, so it is not possibe to describe what I have just read on that PUMA site thing, but Jeebus Christ if there is a gawd he shoud destroy that institution from the breasts down.

S.Luggo January 6, 2009 at 1:32 am

[re=209438]Rumproast[/re]: “jenniforhillary 12.30.08 at 4:42 pm
Scared about the fact that ignorance may be the new IN thing.”
Check that out with Wire-Jaw Coulter first. Likely he has the exclusive patent.

spontaneousabortion January 6, 2009 at 1:42 am

[re=209455]mdotsota[/re]: Well my city is located at a confluence, but magical unicorns, Obama supporters, good coffee, and feminists exist here. So hell if I know which confluence they’re talking about.

Keram2 January 6, 2009 at 1:44 am

Be careful, Wonkette. If I recall correctly, the Paultards would go inflate their scores at meaningless polls for meaningless prizes. Granted, we’re doing it for laughs and they were doing it for The ReLOVEution or some shit, but if I see a Big $ale on Truck Nutz blimp soon, I’m burning down the internet.

davesnothere January 6, 2009 at 1:56 am

[re=209393]obfuscator[/re]: Ah Hillary, I must have your seat! Your cankles and the memory of 9/11 inflame me. Hey now.

S.Luggo January 6, 2009 at 2:03 am

Read through http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/
Did I miss something, or do they actually want to eat their young? Not that there is anything wrong with that. Just asking.

Anonymous Office Zombie January 6, 2009 at 2:29 am

[re=209427]pattycake[/re]:
That’s what I said. I guess Liberal now means anyone with a sense of humor who has come to the stunning conclusion that political types are full of bullshit.

DoktorZoom January 6, 2009 at 2:49 am

The Confluence is a liberal blog? In what respect, Charlie?

Also, I am amused as anything to see that several of the folks there are referring to Wonkette as “she” and “her blog.” Even though that would have been accurate three years ago, it still puts me in mind of people who say they like that Pink Floyd fella.

johnd. January 6, 2009 at 2:55 am

come on my friend, rumproast needs some love and votes to defeat the PUMATARDS!!

donner_froh January 6, 2009 at 2:58 am

Is that thing even a blog?

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 6, 2009 at 3:07 am

Dear angienc2:

Fauxgressives? Really? I’ll have you know, Mamn, that I was making bad puns about Republicans picking up black cops in bathrooms while you were still an intern blowing Presidents.

Good day, Mamn.

I said good day!

J January 6, 2009 at 3:22 am

Norm Coleman demands a recount!!!!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 6, 2009 at 3:36 am

[re=209413]FlipOffResearch[/re]: At least the Ellen Jamesians (and by the way, I liked the novel) had the good sense to cut their tongues out.

[re=209427]pattycake[/re]: Agreed, I think we should be in both the best libtard and the best Republican (Fetish/Pedophile/Buttsex subcategory)votes. Let’s see how well LGF or RedState does then.

[re=209450]JimNewell[/re]: Can you send me a pie chart showing great returns over the next ten years? If so, I’m in.

[re=209457]S.Luggo[/re]: How dare you discount doobie sharing. You must be a Fauxgressive!

[re=209463]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Given that PUMA’s main supporters are FOX News hosts, I’m pretty sure that they are outside the realm of God.

[re=209468]Keram2[/re]: You didn’t watch the Tournament of Roses Parade, did you? What do you think Ken Layne does with all his free time in his silo out in the Mojave?

Quietly January 6, 2009 at 3:38 am

[re=209474]DoktorZoom[/re]:”Oh by the way, which one’s Pink?”

Also some breaking news: Our Wonkette has over 50% of all votes now.

bob the hog January 6, 2009 at 5:31 am

[re=209477]donner_froh[/re]: Yes, it is a blog.
Mr. Aylward should not be ridiculed for categorizing it as a blog. As for the ‘best liberal’ part, he was asked about it:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/site-news/2008-weblog-awards-finalists/index.php#comment-17801
and then he shut down commenting:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/site-news/2008-weblog-awards-finalists/index.php#comment-17937
and also pointed out that categorizin’ ain’t easy:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/docs/weblog-award-faq.php#comment-17845

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 6, 2009 at 5:49 am

Jeez, Wonkette’s stomping so badly, I considered making a pity vote for Glenn Greenwald instead.

bago January 6, 2009 at 5:50 am

[re=209463]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You have a christmas keyboard! No L!

Serolf Divad January 6, 2009 at 5:55 am

They are claiming the Harriet Christian interview as “satire.” Which is a peculiar claim. Usually, if someone’s like: “ha, ha, noob, I was totally joking” when you go back and re-read you’re like “Oh, man, I’m such a dick.” But I’m just not seeing the satirical intent… unless by “our post was satirical” what they mean is “it was written while choking on bitter, angry PUMA tears of rage.”

Bathroom Goblin January 6, 2009 at 6:01 am

They dont wanna discuss my theories about 9/11 or my intriguing ideas about autism and vaccines.
Fauxgressives indeed.

bob the hog January 6, 2009 at 6:05 am

It’s a satire wrapped in a parody inside a pinata.

windupbird January 6, 2009 at 6:57 am

I’m not just going to vote for any blog. A vote is a fukking valuable thing. I’m not just going to give it away for nothing. If Jim can make Plouffe STOP SENDING ME EMAILS SOLICITING MORE MUNNIES, then I will vote for wonkette. ok I’ll vote anyway, but I want “Obama for America” to stop asking me for $25.

Colander January 6, 2009 at 7:33 am

Do you feel like we’re tipping the scales on these ballots? And should I feel bad about this?

4tehlulz January 6, 2009 at 7:34 am

I look forward to their moving on to other issues, like the evils of court-ordered desegregation of schools.

cal January 6, 2009 at 7:42 am

[re=209458]nrelement[/re]: A few thousand?? Really?

Right now they have 600 votes. With everyone double-voting, that’s a pretty small pity party.

East of Sweden January 6, 2009 at 7:44 am

“Wonkette supporters must be like tireless little ‘bots, casting their votes while most of the rest of the nation sleeps.” (The Confluence)

And some bots, like me, are really living in a different time zone. Greetings from the future (GMT+2).

cal January 6, 2009 at 7:55 am

[re=209494]Serolf Divad[/re]: The problem with PUMAs is their satire and their reality are indistinguishable.

For instance, their mascot is a scary clown. Funny?

masterofzen January 6, 2009 at 7:56 am

[re=209388]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, man, you said it regarding failed memes. My favorite is “Blagobamagate,” i.e. the scandal in which Barack Obama fiendishly colluded with Rod Blagojevich by, uh, hmm. I don’t know. Being called “that motherfucker”?

Really, the PUMAs should have been on Wonkette’s radar the whole time. This has definitely been a significant radar failure. I have never seen a group that has been more consistently wrong about everything. Seriously, Bill Kristol looks like Nostradamus next to these people. Check out the Best Blog Post Ever (and quick — I’m still afraid they’re going to pull this down one of these days):

http://blog.pumapac.org/2008/06/05/action-alert-landslide-50-state-loss/

glamourdammerung January 6, 2009 at 7:57 am

From their insane ramblings on the front page:

“I’ll tell you what we’re not. We are not the kind of people who are concerned with whether our vaginas are as fresh and sweet as a Massengill douche.”

What.
The.
Fuck.

Larry McAwful January 6, 2009 at 8:00 am

Most of those blogs rank pretty high on the Obscurometer, but they left off DailyKos, which seems weird. They also left off HillaryIs44, the absence of which is the only reason I’m not crying “Conspiracy!”

I voted for my Wonkette. Yours, too.

glamourdammerung January 6, 2009 at 8:01 am

[re=209494]Serolf Divad[/re]: It is even more funny when you read the comments about everyone agreeing with what Harriet Christian “said” during the piece. Now the blog owner wishes to go on about people being stupid enough to believe Harriet Christian is the type of attention whore that would go still be going on for anyone bored enough to listen, while failing to mention that includes a majority of their audience.

Cape Clod January 6, 2009 at 8:03 am

[re=209502]cal[/re]: There has only been about 50 of them, ever. The media has made them out to be some sort of political behemoth. The problem with them is that they beieve their own press.

[re=209404]Jim Newell[/re]: We’re just sheep, Jim. We don’t need praise.

freakishlystrong January 6, 2009 at 8:24 am

[re=209507]glamourdammerung[/re]: ICK..don’t want to know or think about their Vajayjai…

Will slavishly vote for my Wonkette daily…

Bruno January 6, 2009 at 8:29 am

[re=209395]glamourdammerung[/re]: I had been under the impression that Confluence was like Jon Swift, just for conservatives, I mean liberals, I think. Therefore one is in the wrong category…

Bruno January 6, 2009 at 8:39 am

[re=209435]SeminoleInDior[/re]: I had interpreted Fauxgressive as Fake Aggressive. I though we were Passive Aggressives and there is nothing fake about that?

Scaggsvillain January 6, 2009 at 8:43 am

I don’t spend much time here, but writers and commenters alike are wickedly witty, that much I know.

But as a pure liberal blog, defined obviously as a blog that is liberal, I can begin to see the tag of Fauxgressive as having a ring of thruthyness to it.

The art of snark trumps all in the Wonkette World.

And that’s cool…

norbizness January 6, 2009 at 8:47 am

Damn, I wanna party with them! In a related note, I was just sucker-tackled by Troy Polamalu, who was wearing full pads, and I hit my head on the concrete really hard.

Rumproast January 6, 2009 at 8:49 am

To steal a term from The Poor Man Institute, PUMAs are satire’s assassins:

purplefinn, on January 6th, 2009 at 8:25 am Said:

“Your tits will sag, your scrotums will lose their perky tautness and young, stupid adolescent males will make fun of you, unless, of course, the PUMAs make them insignificant. Someday, you may thank us.”

So well said, RD

Bruno January 6, 2009 at 9:02 am

[re=209438]Rumproast[/re]: I’m glad I’ve heard about your brave battle against the PUMAs, you got my support Rumproast. Just make sure you take holy water with you to your battle

Canuckledragger January 6, 2009 at 9:05 am

[re=209429]HuskyMescan[/re]: “On second thought, that place smells like catfood and rotten cabbage. fuck that.”

[re=209507]glamourdammerung[/re]: “I’ll tell you what we’re not. We are not the kind of people who are concerned with whether our vaginas are as fresh and sweet as a Massengill douche.”

These two posts, though apparently unrelated, represent a confluence. And pretty much sum up The Confluence. RiverDaughter never got over getting booted off Kos, and now the smell of bitterness, catfood, cabbage and Cheetos is so bad it threatens to melt the polar ice cap.

The Webbie coulda gone to Confluence, but now it’s gonna go to some inadequate snark site.

Time for another drive-by poll-dump from Laura Ingalls Wildest, illustrating how it’s IMPOSSIBLE for Wonkette to prevail….

Madeline January 6, 2009 at 9:09 am

I just delivered this day my daily vote, and “The Confluence” has 666 votes. Coincidence? I think not!

Larry McAwful January 6, 2009 at 9:14 am

[re=209511]Cape Clod[/re]: They need to think of us as a behemoth because in the media’s minds they need to view both sides as equal, lest they appear unfairly biased. Remember how they used to report Poland as being equally strong militarily to Nazi Germany. Same principle.

I think we ought to give ‘em what they want. Liberals need to start amassing guns and assault people now and again. Then we’ll seem tougher than we are, and perhaps the conservatives will cower at the very mention of liberals, and they’ll stop making shit up about how we control the media and the banks and the Masonic overlords.

NotAnEvilLobbyist January 6, 2009 at 9:15 am

[re=209506]masterofzen[/re]: From that thread you linked, gotta love what the admin says, “Do not be bullied, not even into engaging the argument on its merits — that’s a sneaky troll trick, don’t fall for it.”

Yes, we all know trolls love to argue about things on merits! Trolls are such purveyors of truth, master debaters and hounds for injustice caused by faulty logic. Gotta love PUMAs.

WadISay January 6, 2009 at 9:31 am

[re=209528]Larry McAwful[/re]: Wait. Which are we? Poland or Nazi Germany? Can I be Stalin?

SkimLatteModerate January 6, 2009 at 9:32 am

Wonkette/Rumproast ’09!

For all your Paultard and PUMA bashing needs!

The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 9:35 am

from the latest post in the “PUMAsphere” [shudder]

Oh, and BTW, Wonkette readers, someday, if you’re lucky, you will live long enough to be old. Your tits will sag, your scrotums will lose their perky tautness and young, stupid adolescent males will make fun of you, unless, of course, the PUMAs make them insignificant. Someday, you may thank us.

now they’re just baiting us and our perky taut titty balls…

loquaciousmusic January 6, 2009 at 9:44 am

I have nothing to add to this thread, except that I have nothing to add.

Carry on.

Bitches.

The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 9:48 am

where do all these archetypes of wonkette readers come from. one commenter calls us frat boys, riverdaughter chides are taut scrotums, and someone else calls us ineffective bots. they’re just all over the place

for chissakes, confluence, get on message and pound one home, right between wonkette’s soon-to-be-sagging titties.

Origami January 6, 2009 at 10:02 am

I’m still confused as to who taught these Renaissance Faire-rejects how to use the internet. I tried to read the “About” page but was blinded by all of the pasty whiteness.

I have no doubt in my mind that these are the same women who post about “herbal abortions” and mask their crystal deodorant stank with a mixture of musk and patchouli. Just thinking about them makes my ovaries cry out of embarrassment.

actor212 January 6, 2009 at 10:07 am

Not to drum my own toot…or toot my own drum, or horn my own dog, but my blog, Simply Left Behind, up for “Best Up And Coming Blog.

May the innuendo commence.

daisy chain January 6, 2009 at 10:09 am

Every time I vote for Wonkette my tits get perkier. Reading the Confluence, however, was like attaching twenty five pound weights to my nipples. Sickly pleasurable, but ultimately bad for my sex life.

TGY January 6, 2009 at 10:12 am

The Intarwebs is not a popularity contest. Well…

The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 10:19 am

i made a blingee of the “riverdaughter” Create cool Profile Comments

Thanks for deleting my totally benign comment on your stupid blog!

The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 10:22 am
The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 10:42 am

Pat Johnson warns confluence readers not to bother reading wonkette

Don’t bother going over there. It is not worth the effort. I was so bummed out reading that stuff last night that it just brought me down once again. Hard to believe that people can express themselves in such a despicable way and then be rewarded for it.

You need a shower to wash off the vileness that passes for free speech after viewing the sludge coming off that site.

vileness, sludge, despicable?

is Bill O Riley, known homosexual, also a Confluence commenter?

agitpropster January 6, 2009 at 10:48 am

Sheeeeiiiittt! I went over there to try an’ make nice but for the life of me I just can’t figure out a.) what the fuck the axe is that they have to grind against Wonkette and b.) are they like, Hopey-haters ’cause The Distinguished Senator From New York got her ass handed to her by Teh Muslin Juggernaut?

FAUXGRESSIVES?” WTF? Is it just me or do I get a distinct whiff of very nasty “yeah, they are Liberals – but they are men.”

You know, the Susan Brownmiller School Of Gender Relations.

pfft..nah January 6, 2009 at 10:48 am

“I’ll tell you what we’re not. We are not the kind of people who are concerned with whether our vaginas are as fresh and sweet as a Massengill douche.”
Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘bitter old c*nts.’

CorkPopper January 6, 2009 at 10:52 am

[re=209546]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Hey, with a combined 4.5 years of pregnancy and nursing behind them, my tits are plenty saggy. PUMAs still suck. They need to blame their retardation on another body part.

loquaciousmusic January 6, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=209630]The Neoskeptic[/re]: The comments just keep getting better!

As for the awards. Who the heck cares really? Have we EVER done anything because we need anyone’s approval? We know who we are and the quality of what RD & Co. offer. Let the little cheaters have their nasty, immature way. As Heidi said, it’s just another illegitimate con they can claim.

I, too, would never join a club that would have me as a member. Especially if that club was filled with pasty white women who wear pantsuits.

The Neoskeptic January 6, 2009 at 10:55 am

[re=209648]CorkPopper[/re]: you mean to tell me that all wonkette readers aren’t drunk frat boys, and an actual adult woman with 5 children and a functioning frontal cortex *also comments here?

don’t tell confluence or they might come and find you and send you to one of their reeducation camps or something.

Airborne Toxic Event January 6, 2009 at 10:56 am

Is that Obama in minstrel garb? Please Wonkette, terminate with extreme prejudice.

Reefpilot January 6, 2009 at 10:59 am

Oh man, this site sounds like the gift that keeps on giving all year-round.

CorkPopper January 6, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=209657]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Only 3 children (the rest of the time I had a baby on the boobies, not in the body). And I avoid sites like Confluence and HillaryIs44 because it makes me embarassed for my uterus.

Cain January 6, 2009 at 11:16 am

Oh my, now Lambert’s mad at you. Prepare to be boldly shrilled!

Roll Fish January 6, 2009 at 11:18 am

I don’t really understand the Confluence’s post about how everbody in the world is a secret Republican that hates black people.

“If you didn’t agree that Ronald Reagan was a beacon of Liberalism you were a republican who just hated black people.

If you wanted mandated health care to help usher in Universal Health Care, you were a republican who just hated black people.

If you pointed out sexism, you were just a republican who hated black people.

If you disagreed with domestic spying, and supported a candidate who actually disagreed with it, you were just a republican who hated black people.

If you were aghast at the media bias, you were just a republican who hated black people.

If you despise election fraud, you were just a republican who hated black people.

Now, it turns out, if you disagree with or question Obama on Rick Warren, the bailout, Proposition 8, Caroline Kennedy, Eric Holder, Robert Gates, or the measly representation of women in his cabinet, and you supported and voted for Obama, you too are just a republican who hates black people.”

I…I thought black-hating republicans loved election fraud?

Gerhalt11 January 6, 2009 at 11:23 am

I don’t trust a website that bleeds gibberish for five days and doesn’t die.

Snarky Scientist January 6, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=209569]Origami[/re]: For the record, the herbal abortions work great if you know what you’re doing. But yeah, the crystal deodorant is worthless.

Anyhoo, why are these PUMAs trying so hard to be Republicans? They are full of unsubstantiated slurs and bad ideas. When called on said slurs or bad ideas, they try to claim it was brilliant satire. Straight out of the Repub playbook. You watch, next they’ll be fucking small boys.

Paco January 6, 2009 at 11:44 am

It makes too much sense that the Confluence people are into clowns and Natalie Merchant.

ignoramoose January 6, 2009 at 11:56 am

They haven’t added Wonkette to their blogroll yet. :( :( That, along with their declaration of war against our Wonkette, and I’m getting the feeling that they don’t appreciate truck nutz, Blingees, and dick jokes. Maybe if we had a Blingee contest for the Obama in Pampers picture….maybe then they’d love us!

**Oh, dudes, never mind! Fuck them! From Alice Rodham PUMA:

“Only problem is so many minds in the faugressivesphere have been zombified by the hopium. ”

Fuck that, Confludick! Don’t be talking shit on my opiu–ah, my hopium! If it’s good enough for Chuck Bass, it’s good enough for me.

Trace January 6, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Hey, I was sent here from that super neato Confluence blog and I have to say, y’all a bunch of gosh darn meanies.

Ok, not really. But I wish I WERE well established at that site. I’d love to get it on with some PUMAS. I’ve got a pretty hardcore tard fetish.

american mutt January 6, 2009 at 12:35 pm

it’s an insult that confluence is doing better than crooks & liars though. insult.

american mutt January 6, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=209546]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Perky taut titty balls. Sounds like a new song.

aflurry January 6, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=209507]glamourdammerung[/re]: “Some of us don’t even HAVE vaginas.”

ZOMG!… the are sewing shut their vaginas! That some REAL Ellen Jamesian shit, yo….

aflurry January 6, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Madam, the day I look down and see a perky taut scrotum will be the day I rush to the doctor for a shot of penicillin.

Maus January 6, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Maybe one day we’ll be wrinkled old crones, but we still won’t be racist subliterate wrinkled old crones fist-pumping for fascists.

Joey Ratz January 6, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Haha! Just voted for Wonkette, Rumproast and Josh. I’m such a ‘bot.

BTW, Wonkette is at 54% now. Suck on that, Confluencers!

lambert January 6, 2009 at 6:08 pm

Yeah, Cain’s burbling definitely set me straight. How could I have missed teh funny:

C*nt-effluence should definitely be in the Humor category.

Not that I hold any particular brief for the Confluence; in fact, I’m moderated there. Which doesn’t make p-Sludge, or other posters on this thread, any less of an assh*ole than Obama’s drunker groper and chief speechwriter, Jon Favreau.

Maus January 6, 2009 at 8:03 pm

“Obama’s drunker groper”

CARDBOARD ALMOST-RAPE

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: