What In The Hell?Noted stage demon “Michael Israel” just sent us an email announcing his performance of some atrocity at the Veterans’ Inaugural Ball! “Michael will help mark the historic event by performing his 6 foot by 4 foot portrait of the newly elected President Live in Concert in 7 minutes,” according to the bizarre spam we somehow received and tried to read, despite the fact that it’s written in Goblinese. Also, the tag line of this person doing this occult ritual is as follows: michael israel – putting the “art” in “america.” Please, Leon Panetta, put a stop to this witchcraft. [Michael Israel]

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  1. Performing at this event will be “Kankouran West African dance company, recording artist sensation Don Juan & Trey-Song (and) World famous artist Michael Israel”

    Had McCain won, he would have gotten Daddy Yankee, Ted Nugent and those guys Tom Schotz threw out of Boston.

  2. [re=209076]SayItWithWookies[/re]: heh, I remember that commercial (yes, I’m old). Could it also have the slogan: Give a Hoot, don’t ruin our economy, plunge us into an unjustified war, and put all your drinking buddies in positions of power!

  3. Dude’s got an awesomely ugly, confused, incomprehensible Web site, replete with little spinny-GIFs I haven’t seen since Compuserve was still in business.

  4. Palin would have insisted that Jindal do an exorcism at their inauguration so this is totally justified. Modern art should be outrageous, shocking and instantly forgettable.

  5. From the blurb:

    “Notes The Veterans Presidential Inaugural Ball will feature live entertainment by the Kankouran West African dance company, recording artist sensation Don Juan & Trey-Song. World famous artist Michael Israel performs his high energy Art in Concert creating 6 ft portraits “live on stage” in minutes with paint and paintbrushes flying. These history-making masterpieces will include: The Stature of Liberty, American eagle, A disabled veteran with Ms. Virginia and Ms Montana, Secretary of State Hilliary Rodham-Clinton, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, Secretary of Veterans Affairs General Eric Shinseki, Vice President Elect Joe Biden and the Final drawing of President Elect Barack Obama.”

    1. – Nice to see that Lady Liberty got to her position in life because of merit and not the fact she’s a stone cold bitch.

    B. – It’s not art unless the American Eagle is outfitted with a tear rolling down its cheek.

    III. – I say we bid on the Shinseki portrait and send it to Rumsfeld in thanks for what he’s done.

    And the final drawing of Obama? Does Mr. Israel know something we don’t?

  6. Was Mikal Gaza unavailable to do his “live on stage” art that consists of burning effigies of the eagle, clinton, gates, obama, etc?

  7. Since Hillary is also going to be at the balls, don’t you mean “another witch….”

    Thank you! Tip your waitresses, try the veal!

  8. I’m heading to DC in eleven days. Anybody got a good peyote hook up? Nothing like some good strong hallucinogens when you’re in a crowd of 4 million people, surrounded by Secret Service and watching some abysmal performance art. That’s what I always said.

  9. Michael Israel is a cunt. I saw the same “press release” Ken refers to, and what’s most amusing is that it cites as the source of that fucktabulous slogan “Putting the Art in America”.

    The first Israel related blog post on is at , and it’s is reasonably funny. To put it lightly, they are not fans.

  10. I just cruised his site. Shit, I’m from Seattle and I know shitty art when I see it. I also know shitty music when I hear it (all the time) and I can honestly say this man needs to be stuck in barrel with a gallon of acrylic paint and Casio keyboard and rolled over the Niagara in the name of “art.” Either that or he can just fuck off back to Vegas where he belongs. Who the hell would pay $500 to witness some “artist” (ahem) getting all naked and painted. Wanna see that? Come to Seattle this Friday. I’ll give you a private show for $50 and you’ll probably get laid.

  11. unbelievably stupid…makes me glad i don’t live in the US…

    oh! that’s right, i do live in the US…at least in the sense that several thousand head of cattle can be herded into a pen meant for several hundred and then fed on a diet of horrible drugs before having a pneumatically driven bolt shot into the frontal lobe…

  12. [re=209218]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Usually when I pay someone who is almost naked and who rolls around in paint it is by tucking a couple of bills in her G-string.

  13. Crappy art put to music. Someone has finally out crapped Thomas Kincade. Didn’t think there were enough culture challenged morons in America to support TWO untalented wannabees. I know where those stimulus checks went…

  14. [re=209676]Bruno[/re]: So, Johnston is the new Johnson. On behalf of muslins, morans, and Trucknutz goblins teh world over, I think I can say you’ve made an excellent choice.

    Wonder who among us will finally cut the secret publishing deal, compile the Wonkette Dictionary and rake in the mega-bucks. And will we resent her/him/it for it?

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