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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Exciting New Obama Hires In The Fields Of Torture And Photography

  • No Clinton Staffer Left Behind: Obama has named Leon Panetta as the new director of the CIA. [The Caucus]
  • Yesterday Bush’s cat, India, died. It was savagely murdered by Warren Hastings. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Obama has hired Pete Souza as Official White House Photographer. “You Guys Can Tag Yourselves Later” will be Souza’s first collection of photos from the Obama White House. [Ben Smith]
  • China is blaming its half-Internet full of weird Chinese porn on Google. [HuffPost]
  • Today Obamas Malia and Sasha start their first day of Harvard Law. [Politico]


3:42 PM on Mon January 5 2009
By Juli Weiner
878 Views

  1. chowkster says at 3:49 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Oh those wacky Hindu nationalists…

  2. SayItWithWookies says at 3:52 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Sheeeit — that cat musta seen something.

  3. ManchuCandidate says at 3:58 pm, January 5th, 2009

    China’s not upset because of all that pr0n and freedom bullshit leaking thru. They’re upset because of all you guys (and lesbians) infected with yellow fever. Stop having hand parties with our women, you bastards!

  4. WadISay says at 4:00 pm, January 5th, 2009

    India is as close to “getting pussy” as most Republicans ever come.

  5. S.Luggo says at 4:03 pm, January 5th, 2009

    I blame India’s death on the Hammas operative Barney and a well-aimed bottle rocket. We shall take no prisoners.

  6. shanemacgowan says at 4:09 pm, January 5th, 2009

    The cat’s name became in issue in 2001 after Hindu nationalists said the original moniker was an insult — and urged followers to call their dogs ‘George Bush

    Who knew Barry was a closet Hindu nationalist. I thought he was a half-breed muslin.

  7. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:11 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Given China’s population and increasingly lopsided sexual imbalance, you would think they’d want to encourage their boys to masturbate in front of the computer.

  8. bitchincamaro says at 4:14 pm, January 5th, 2009

    How else will Hillary be able to sex up her secret agenda in the State Dept. without a helping hand from her own personal spook?

  9. magic titty says at 4:17 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Sure China. Google’s homepage is making your citizens seek out pornography. Yup.

  10. Joehoya says at 4:19 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Pete Souza was supposed to be our wedding photographer. Then 9/11 happened and his newspaper sent him off to Kazakhstan. The terrorists win again, damn them.

  11. ManchuCandidate Are table showers OK ?

  12. S.Luggo says at 4:33 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Joehoya: So no wedding, I guess.

  13. chascates says at 4:33 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Awesome: Anderson Cooper is bravely in Israel and starts his report with:
    “You see the explosions before you hear them.”
    “If we had a choice we’d be on the ground in Gaza, but the Israeli government won’t let reporters get any closer.”

    I’m guessing he’s already embedded himself in some Israeli? Unit, I mean.

  14. It’s almost like the speed of light is faster than the speed of sound! Thanks CNN!

  15. pedestrian rage says at 5:11 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Warren Hastings? piffle. That savage bastard Barney was clearly behind this. Someone should put him down before he kills again - seriously.

  16. Mr. Todd says at 5:22 pm, January 5th, 2009

    hmm, it smells like someone went all Vince Foster on that cat. we should look into this obsessively for years.

  17. finallyhappy says at 5:25 pm, January 5th, 2009

    chascates: There are photographers/ reporters in Gaza- or else how are photos coming from there? I think Anderson is just tryin to biggie up hisself.

  18. RobPetrified says at 5:39 pm, January 5th, 2009
  19. Neilist says at 6:51 pm, January 5th, 2009

    Today, we ALL are George Bush’s cat.

  20. “Obama has named Leon Panetta as the new director of the CIA.”
    As I have said, and as you “Demobratib Leadership Bounbil” bunts have ignore cefore, the New Math is: 44 = 42.
    La, la, la.

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