• May 26, 2012

George Bush Sr. Will Make Jeb Be President, Soon

by Jim Newell  3:29 pm January 5, 2009

Here’s old “Poppy” Bush talking to the teevee about how he will order America to make his son Jeb be “elected” President, sooner or later, dead or alive. Obviously this will happen, because we forget everything terrible about this shady oil corporation of a family every eight years and just assume that one of them should run the country. And, well, if you look at the other clowns the GOP has in its stable, Jeb’s good enough, or at least predictable and has a modest record of competency. Sure. [YouTube]

{ 49 comments }

populucious January 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm

“A modest record of competency” is probably as fine an epitaph as any member of the Bush family will ever see.

Bruno January 5, 2009 at 3:33 pm

George Bush Sr, Haliburton, Rand Corp, Carlyle, Enron, Jeb, W, Area 51

oh my god, consipiracy overload

greatgooglymoogly January 5, 2009 at 3:33 pm

But, but … what about Sarah?!

articulate moran January 5, 2009 at 3:34 pm

So you’re saying I shouldn’t get rid of all my “Fuck Bush” t-shirts and buttons?

Serolf Divad January 5, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I assure you, my fellow Al Qaeda members, that our plans for the complete destruction and annihilation of the Whore of Babylon America have only hit a speed-bump with the election of Barack Obama. In another four years we will engineer the election of Jeb Bush and he will see through to completion the job his father and brother started.

Monsieur Grumpe January 5, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Come to think of it, the world isn’t totally fucked up… yet.

TGY January 5, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Speaking on behalf of the American people, I’d like to graciously decline this magnanimous offer. We’ve already been Bushed.

chascates January 5, 2009 at 3:39 pm

NYTimes: “Leon E. Panetta named director of CIA.”
If Bush II was just a redo of Reagan/Bush I now Obama will be a redo of Clinton (I). We need to think of outsourcing our government to China or India or someplace where the names are at least unfamiliar.

loganmo January 5, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Poppy is sloppy.

Servo January 5, 2009 at 3:44 pm

*Paging Katherine Harris…*

Monsieur Grumpe January 5, 2009 at 3:44 pm

Why doesn’t the Bush family get involved in something a little safer than politics? Say like nucular power plants, pharmaceuticals, skyscraper demolition, grizzly bear insemination or soccer hooliganism.

timeoutofmind January 5, 2009 at 3:45 pm

where’s Arthur Bremer ?

ExecutorElassus January 5, 2009 at 3:47 pm

If Jeb gets made the new Emperor of America, I’m filing for German citizenship (because they have sauerkraut juice, and lotsa beer, and are perverts). Please poppy! Make my dream of godless europhilia a reality!

norbizness January 5, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Cartoon GHW Bush: “Oh, if he thinks George Bush’ll stay out of the sewer, he doesn’t know George Bush.”

SayItWithWookies January 5, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Oh, thank goodness — I was worried we wouldn’t have another dysfunctional twit with an Oedipus complex, lack of self-examination, a determinedly nonrational approach to decision making and delusions of grandeur in the Oval Office. At least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Kev-O-Tron January 5, 2009 at 3:52 pm

[re=209048]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m reassured by this as well. This new guy seems too articulate, thoughtful and visionary. In other words he’s a little too “leaderish”. I like my Presidents to display a certain level of retardation during their stump speeches.

CreationSchwarzkopfPalin January 5, 2009 at 3:53 pm

What about Jeb’s so, George P (little brown one) Bush

FreshCliches January 5, 2009 at 3:55 pm

“I mean, right now is probably a bad time.”

Good call, Poppy. Now you just need to realize that, thanks to your other son, your family name has been rendered irrelevant, and the electorate would rather see a half-black, half-breed Muslin son of a Luo Tribesman who HAS YET TO PRODUCE HIS LONG FORM BIR- …..gah, I’m getting all verbose here.

In three words: DO. NOT. WANT.

chascates January 5, 2009 at 3:58 pm

[re=209055]CreationSchwarzkopfPalin[/re]: from http://www.texasmonthly.com/2008-02-01/feature11.php:
Well, if your name is Bush, it’s one thing, but if your name is George Bush, it’s a little harder.

Yeah, I hid behind the title of Ensign Bush for a while, but unfortunately they threw in my first name on the recall roster and that was it.

ManchuCandidate January 5, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Why doesn’t the whole fucking family just flee to Paraguay and leave the rest of us alone?

Servo January 5, 2009 at 4:02 pm

He feels obligated to turn our planet into a steaming ball of shit.

greatgooglymoogly January 5, 2009 at 4:04 pm

“See, Dumber got elected. Big mistake, big mistake. DUMB was supposed to go first, THEN Dumber, then … well, let’s face it, by then there wouldn’t be anyone left to oppose us anyway … heh.”

WadISay January 5, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Read my lips: No.New.Bushes.

freakishlystrong January 5, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Nahhh gonna dew it…

ManchuCandidate January 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=209068]WadISay[/re]:
Heh.

Josh Fruhlinger January 5, 2009 at 4:18 pm

I’m a little disturbed by the way he raises his clenched fist as he says “He’s my son.” “He’s my son, and I will BEAT the presidency into him!”

MarSF January 5, 2009 at 4:24 pm

I am not going to let this old fart bag and his hideous spawn destroy my Barry High!!!!!

I will not play this clip.

V572625694 January 5, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=209085]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: Only Poppy Bush (and his sons) could make the idea of being ambitious for and proud of your children seem disgusting instead of normal.

S.Luggo January 5, 2009 at 4:46 pm

During his Arch-Governorship, Jeb declined to disavow the Theory of Intelligent Design, a bold stand given strong evidence to the contrary in his background.

Not_So_Much January 5, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Hey, Serfs! If the friggin’ Carlyle Group says that Jebby will be the next president, then Jebby will be the next president!

Get over it and stop this silly babbling about “honest elections” and that “democracy” horseshit…

TeddyS January 5, 2009 at 5:09 pm

And after Jeb, there will be young Neil, as soon as he finishes looting whatever he’s involved in at the moment. If Sarah says it’s OK, you betcha. A Palin Bush ticket!

Uncle Al January 5, 2009 at 5:10 pm

I liked when Poppy said he wants Jebbie to be “President, or Senator–whatever!”

Seemed kind of random. But then nobody ever accused any of the Bushes of being very sharp.

user-of-owls January 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=209057]FreshCliches[/re]: Our nation would be much better served if the family itself, and not just the name, was rendered. At least glue is useful and relatively harmless.

Fivetree January 5, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Is there no end to this man’s diabolical mission to bring ruination upon the United States? First there was his own term in which he fought a war for oil while the economy tanked. Then there was the foisting of his idiot son upon, first the people of Texas, and then the country as a whole. Now he wants Chubby Jebby to finish the job.

And then there are the other spawn of Barbara’s burning bush.

It’s time that Congress revisited the proscription in the Constitution against Acts of Attainder and waived it in regards to this nefarious clan.

Jollity January 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Perhaps a bush of the botanical variety.

Jukesgrrl January 5, 2009 at 5:41 pm

And after Jeb, would he favor Jenna or Barbara? May I suggest they run as a team, addressing the problem of the Bush family’s limited attention span for work.

Special Agent Jack Mehoff January 5, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Ha ha ha , he said you must discount what he says, which is pretty easy really. We’ve been doing that since that time he said “no new taxes”. Also he nearly said what a douche-tard his son W. is, which is pretty badass.

Hooray For Anything January 5, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Here’s something people can debate in ethics/philosophy type classes– if you could go back in time and assasinate Prescott Bush and thus save America from the Bush years (both past and future), would that be moral?

chascates January 5, 2009 at 7:42 pm

[re=209229]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Yes.

smellyal8r January 5, 2009 at 7:51 pm

[re=209055]CreationSchwarzkopfPalin[/re]: Yes! Hottest of all Bush offspring (even those drunken twins). George P! Word is he wants to run for Mayor of Dallas, then Gov of TX and finally, yep, you guessed it. The only problem is he has a real education. That might be a limiting factor.

Lazy Media January 5, 2009 at 8:23 pm

[re=209033]chascates[/re]: Oh noes! Not the Clintons! Didn’t our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity end 8 years ago?

rocktonsammy January 5, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Apparently Jeb doesn’t know he is the real black sheep.

Fivetree January 5, 2009 at 9:20 pm

[re=209229]Hooray For Anything[/re]: If you could go back in time and surgically remove Barbara’s Bush’s uterus would you do it? How far back would you have to go? How old is W?

S.Luggo January 5, 2009 at 9:44 pm

[re=209112]Not_So_Much[/re]: Yip-yippee.
The Carlye Group owns Dunkin Donuts and plans to extend its market reach onto each corner of America by selling individual hobo apples under the Mary Worth(tm) brand.
The Carlye Group also holds mortgage-backed securities, and as Mitch McConnell is my North Star, won’t be asking for none of that 700 billion the Bush administration is laddling out.
And the free market grand?

S.Luggo January 5, 2009 at 9:50 pm

[re=209259]rocktonsammy[/re]: More accurate. Progenitor of half-breed mexkin sheep. “The dark ones”, noticed Poppy.

mothermaven January 5, 2009 at 10:22 pm

The world could do without another of George Herbert’s homunculuses — I am talking to you Jeb and Neil.

Pop Socket January 5, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Never heard Poppy endorse Dubya that vigorously. Tells you something.

robanybody January 6, 2009 at 11:54 am

Never forget that it was Jeb, not George W, who signed on with the nefarious “Project for a New American Century,” which got us into Iraq, etc. Somehow the media tends to overlook that, despite his name being right there on the group’s original proclamation that said, in effect, if we don’t like em we should kill em.

But he has the feel of that pleasant chubby guy who speaks for Exxon in the commercials, which is probably how he’ll manage to get the office and finish us off in whatever ways W was too inept to manage.

sezme January 6, 2009 at 2:15 pm

This is just tragic. Old GHWB looks around the family table and sees which of them have been president, and which have not yet served, and he just cold thinks ‘why not him?’ ‘why not her?’ Truly America is the land of opportunity, for the Bush family.

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