Wonkette
Ha ha, Mitt Romney made a funny! The Wall Street Journal asked him about his New Year’s resolutions, and he said he had decided to “stop wearing a suit and tie to bed.” Silly Mitt, everyone knows his head falls off if you remove the tie. [WSJ]
BAD HABITS
Wake me up when he pledges to stop wearing the secret Mormon underwear to bed.
Next time I tie a dog to the roof of my car, remember to put a plug up his butt.
…I figured his resolution would have been to stop sleeping with little boys, like every other republican?! Then again resolution are made to be broken, aren’t they!
By the end of 2009, we will all be resolving the same thing because we will all be homeless.
I guess magical underwear by itself is too promiscuous for the Mittens. (I’ll bet at least one of his “wives” makes him wear a straight-jacket)
Those Frenchmen, always so fashion-conscious.
They asked Wolfgang Puck and Justin Tuck. Someone’s missing here.
Thankfully his resolution isn’t ceasing the always-popular, always-awkward “Who let the dogs out” slang while taking a photo with a bunch of your new homeys. That shit is as priceless as those MasterCard commercials that make me feel like I can’t afford anything since I can’t because… oh fuck, tangent. “Who let the tangent out? Who who who who?”
AngryBlakGuy: No no no, Mormons don’t like teh Gayz. At least not officially, and that’s why they pumped umpty-zillion $ into California to pass Prop 8.
Unofficially, well…there’re are a lot of Mormons in Idaho. Larry Craig’s from Idaho. You do the math.
A better resolution would be to stop shamelessly pandering to whoever he happens to be talking to.
I knew a Mormon who never got out of contact with his magic underwear, which he called his “garment.” Even when he took a bath. He would scrub with one hand while holding his underwear in the other. I am not making this up.
That’s not true about his head falling off. His foreskin does pop up though.
Oh, come on, if he wasn’t shameless pandering to the sane folk, he wouldn’t be slightly acceptable for not being completely bugfuck insane candidate. It’s his money, also.
Best photo of Mitt evah! The latex gloves and the fudge sign make it work on so many levels.
Aurelio: Were you in the actual bath? Was this in Idaho?
Ha, what a coincidence, Count Dracula also sleeps in his clothes. Come to think of it, Count Dracula also has the same slicked-back hairstyle…
My first reflection, upon reading the WSJ article, is that I had no idea so many of our nation’s best and brightest are absolute tools.
That’s right, Mittens. You have to get out of the suit and tie and the underwear, too, for your campaign video if you seriously want to compete with Nailin’ Palin.
I bet his resemblance to a Ken doll extends to the smooth molded plastic where the genitalia should be.
my resolution is to start sleeping in my suit. It is the only clothing left that I’m not wearing and its going to be damn cold on teh bus bench tonight.
Resolutions
1. Rush Limbaugh: gain more weight, farting and find another Oxy dealer.
2. George Bush: English as a second language.
3. Dick Cheney: more human flesh; amnesty.
4. John Edwards: less fidelity.
5. Rick Warren: anal rape.
6. Mitch McConnell: fewer negroes.
7. Joe Lieberperson: stop the pretense at being at being a Democrat; bomb more Palestinian wogs.
8. Larry Craig: slippers; pay toilets.
9: John McCain: Wha?
10. Blago: Immunity.
Suit to bed?
I don’t know what part of Michigan this fella is from, but a hockey mask and rainboots work around here.
When Mittens said “suit”, he really meant his magical underwear made from the flayed skins of black children.
Is he also taking off his Gott Mitt Uns belt buckle?
Aurelio: Well how did you meet Donny Osmond?
Mitt also resolved to destroy the rest of the auto industry. His dad killed American motors, (remember the Pacer and the Gremlin?)
Hey, I got laid in a Gremlin. Well, because of a Gremlin. It broke down, we started walking home, and we never made it past the old cottonwood tree. I love that guy.