Wonkette
We know precisely two things about Kathy Griffin, which makes us a Resident Expert on this lady around these parts: number one, she is a COMEDIENNE, and number two, she dated some portly rich guy. What does this have to do with her glorious New Year’s Eve show with Anderson Cooper? Nothing! Just, they cut to commercial break and Kathy’s mic was still on and she shouted a funny insult at some hapless cocksucker, literally.
“Jesus can suck it!”
I am not sure that she was in position to chastise someone else for their job, considering what a lame thing she was doing. Also, for males’ sake, cocksucker should not be an insult. It’s a noble job.
Think of the starbursts if Snowbilly said it.
Oddly enough she was yelling at Sam Champion.
Which is a worse thing to put in your mouth, Kathy, a foot or a dick?
I’m not sure she’s actually a comedienne. Doesn’t that require … y’know … humour or am I setting my expectations too high again?
Tangentially, Coop was once again wearing too much clothing.
depending on what time this happened, Kathy Griffin just saved 2008.
Cooper and Griffin is the best homo-themed New Year’s show out there.
That was actually the funniest thing I’ve ever heard Kathy Griffin say. But then again, it wasn’t up against some very stiff competition.
Penii?
Cape Clod: I think AC is very stiff.
Cape Clod: I think AC is quite stiff.
My Jonas Brother New Year purity was ransacked by that charlatan potty mouth.
Defamer’s going to be abuzz this afternoon!
Is this why CNN celebrated the new year five seconds after midnight?
Coop should have been personally offended.
It’s so heart-warming to see prostitutes are again inhabiting Times Sq. late at night.
She fellates hyenas with that mouth?
She did such a raunchy routine at a fundraiser here in Tucson a while back that was so raunchy and offensive that they couldn’t air in on her tv show… She poked fun at a kid in a wheelchair, and went off from there. ANd there is the questions she asked on hr red carpet gig on E.
She has no shame, and that is why I love her
I could see her tipping back an ashtray half full of beer and butts without blinking. I love her!
Would *I* do Woz? I’m gonna have to go lie down and ponder this for a while.
Fuck it, that was funny.
I liked her okay somewhere between the eighth and twenty-fourth plastic surgery. But, frankly, she’s delving into Michael Jackson territory now.
Between that and teh not funnee, why is she on the teevee?
Guppy06: CNN waited to officially project the occurrence of the new year, even though it was a sure thing.
DoctorCulturae: Yes, but they’re Disney prostitutes. You know — snug little bustiers, birds and ribbons, and they sing. I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem the same anymore, having to buy tickets offsite. It’s so hard knowing what rides you’ll want until you see the cars, if you get my drift. I should probably write to Disney and suggest they sell 20-second Virtual Reality Tours in the ticket line. They could upgrade all those timid tourist BJs right there, easy, and maybe be able to pay the kids more.
Anyone who stomps all over Anderson Cooper’s lines to yell a dick joke is alright with me. Full disclosure: I had dinner with KG and her hubby-at-the-time a few years ago. Lots of fun.
Oh come on, the real foot-in-mouth fear was that Kathy was going to “out” AC on the air in his own house. I’m disappointed she didn’t go Full Monty.
Eliot said his brother had “penis breath” on ET, the G-rated kids movie. Sometimes dicks in the mouth are forgiven and forgotten. Cocksuckers.
No, Kathy, you don’t come around knocking the dicks out of my mouth. And I commend you for that.
Nigerian Business Executive: Coop’s prolly wearing too much clothing so Kathy Griffin can’t get to his penis.
It was also funny that Kathy predicted some major making-out at 5-to-the-hour, but when the time came they kept the cameras conspicuously away from the beautiful couple, most likely because kissing a girl might make Coop throw up in his mouth a little.
Of course in this case it comes down to your definition of “girl”.
How would Kathy Griffin know what it’s like to have a dick in one’s mouth?
WagTehGod: She’d have to take her big foot out first.
On that note, I’ve been wondering, whatever happened to that guy who was going to be veep? You know, Joe — whatshisname, I know I’ll remember it soon…
Where were her Gays?
Darehead: Biden his time, Darehead, Biden his time….
He was taking notes through the Cheney captivity…
Darehead: You mean Joe…the Plumber?
I’ve seen him lately doing YouTubes related to the Digital Transition. In addition to being VP, he will be the Czar of Home Improvement.
When Anderson has dicks in his mouth, trust me— it is no job, it is strictly for pleasure. Though he is rather professional about it, workmanlike, some might say. In that he gets the “job” done. Every last drop. I LOVE YOU SILVER FOX!!!!!!!111
Mr. Todd:
I’m hoping it happened at 12:01. First million dollar FCC violation of the New Year.
Slapping the dicks out of people’s mouths is a union gig, usually. That’s probably a good what, $30 - $45 an hour to start? Jeez, sign me and my buddies up, we gotta pay rent!
That was the best “I don’t go to your job and…” joke I have ever heard.
Not_So_Much: It’s not teevee, it’s CNN.
She’s teh perfect beard for him….when’s the wedding? Charlie Christ can be best man.
Just so we are clear, I love Kathy Griffin.
El Bombastico: Agreed, can we improve upon her good humor? Kathy is a Wonkette graduate in cocksuckerology.
she really shouldn’t yell at larry craig like that, his mom might have been watching.
Anyone notice that Coop sounded exactly like Ernie from Sesame St?
Oh, honey…
Telegraphing some, And?
Chuckie Jesus:
Yeah, I actually spent three years on the “slapping dicks out of people’s mouths job bank” from ‘98 to ‘01. Spent most of the time playing checkers with a midget transvestite named Earl. It was a paycheck, though.
hahahahahahahaha, oh kathy…you tell it like it is
Unfortunately the mic was cut before we all got to hear Anderson Cooper asking Kathy what, exactly, is this “cock” thing of which she speaks.
“Knock the dicks out of your mouth” is the new black.
I tuned in about midnight EST and heard it live and laughed out loud…the only time I’ve ever done that watching one of these “ball drop” shows. It was funny how Andy Cooper kept saying “hush” and “careful” every time she’d holler off their platform, “oh, yeah, well you suck too” then finally (with about 20 mins left) really got into co-hosting with her. Usually, I wonder why he’s so sad all the time. Last night, it seemed like he was actually having a good time. Don’t worry fellow ‘mos, he had on a mens XS Abercrombie shirt under all that North Face wear.
Also, I thought her penis comment was directed at Ryan Secrest.
The show was kind of a trainwreck, but also kind of fun since everything’s usually so predictable. I think Erica Hill got the worst of it, catty comments from Griffin, and guys crowding around her out on the street. One even did the tongue between his fingers thing right beside her face. Then there was weird David Spade and weird Coolio in Las Vegas, and the reporter on Bourbon Street who had to get up on a balcony because of the drunken “belligerence” down on the street. The only enjoying himself was the guy in Key West where everything seemed quite lovey. I don’t think those reporters will ever want to do that again… one sure thing, Don Lemon got laid either by Griffin or Cooper or one of the southern gals up from North Caroline for a New York New Year’s Eve.
icedog: Yeah, I don’t know who at CNN came up with the idea of using her. It’s either someone subversive enough to say “she’ll draw a younger crowd” knowing full well she’s half crazy or, more likely, just randomly picked her to be “funny”. She did give Erica Hill hell, though. I wouldn’t want to do “man on the street” stuff for any of the drinking holidays in New Orleans.
great leaping christ. That’s funny. I’m losing my shit in the middle of a coffee shop after watching that.
So Wozniak couldn’t really get any from, um, Kathy Griffin? With that money, he should at least be getting the ‘let’s just be friends’ line from Brazilian supermodels.
smellyal8r:
Every day is a drinking holiday in NO…..That reporter was strictly amateur hour..
Hilarious. Also. The joke is a quote from Bob and David’s Mr Show from some years back.
smellyal8r: Star Jones wasn’t available.
I have not heard AC giggle like a 14 year old girl before.
I think KG cracked the closet door, for him, a little last evening. AC likes the DC too?
(You’d think his mommy was famous or something)
Great. So now Larry Craig is a professional D-List CommediENNE heckler now.
icedog: That was probably due more to the BAMA fans down there for the Sugar Bowl than the New Year’s revelers. I should know– I’m a BAMA card carrier.
ROLL TIDE!
Amusing. Griffin, like Sarah Silverman, so long as ticket sales keep up, ignores that non-PC is now the new PC, particularly among the Reagan Republican trailer meth parkers and the frat boys who inhabit the Bush Administration. You go, girl. You are about as innovative as a boil on the backside of a cheap prostitute.
Oh, there goes Coop, a “Honey” sneaked out. God, I love him.
I always liked her, particularly in her early stand-up years. She’s not the funniest, but her bluntness is enough to keep my attention. However, I can’t seem to get enough of the Progressive Insurance girl. There’s just something about her.
Servo: Re: the Progressive Insurance Girl: You too, huh?
Beliefmask: You should get some kind of tea cozy or Wonkette cardboard coffee sleeve for that intrepid research/feat of memory.
Kathy is a desperate, plagiarizing, fag hag whore. Now that’s bringing the funny.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: Feast your eyes, boyz…
http://www.austin360.com/tv/content/tv/stories/2008/10/stephanie-courtney-2.html
Mr Blifil: Point?
Mr Blifil:
**sigh** “I just [incurred] 15 percent or more on my car insurance by switching to [Progressive].”
Beliefmask: They didn’t come up with it either. It’s an ancient, standard-issue anti-heckler line, probably first stolen by Milton Berle.
El Bombastico:Yeah it was funny! Wherever it came from it’s a great line. I think it came from Kathy Griffin this time. Carlin is gone. I’m glad someone really funny is still standing up!
Not to take one’s inventory, but is there anyone on the planet more insufferable than this phony? She is (a) not funny and (b) will do or say anything that gets her 3 seconds of media attention. She has more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers, has to date a billionaire gargoyle and deny boinking him, and makes offensive comments so as to be seen as “outrageous” when they are in fact a substitute for actual wit or comedy. Look at her in the photo with fatso. What I see is some kind of mutant androgynous Palm Beach wannabe with a foul mouth who is trying to pretend she’s an entertainer or a celebrity. Spare us, will you? You’re not on any list in the alphabet. Get lost.
Not_So_Much: Well, she is friends with Joan Rivers…
She’s a faux-outrageous hack, shuffling through index cards full of unfunny comments. Sam Kinison would’ve eaten her for breakfast.
For whatever else people say and think about Kathy Griffin, she has a great body and great hair–even if it’s probably a wig! So at least she’s attractive in some way!
I don’t think Anderson is even trying to pretend any more. Kathy Griffin is the biggest fag hag this side of Margaret Cho, and he was like her twin sister there.