YAWN  5:44 pm December 30, 2008

Wonkette Nominated For Yet Another Award, Is Running Out Of Shelf Space

by Jim Newell

Over the years, your Wonkette has won most-to-all of the awards ever given to Internet websites, due to the diligence, care and insight its unbelievably talented editors put into every post, effortlessly. But we understand that Internet awards distributors must pretend that we have “competition,” and so we’ll play along and say that we’re “honored to be nominated” for “Best Liberal Blog” in the 2008 Weblog Awards. (Although, and for the last time, we. are. WARBLOGGERS.) More importantly, we’re happy for our numerous competitors — the junior blogs TPM, Crooks & Liars, Think Progress and others — for whom the word “ecstatic” would not adequately describe their emotions upon hearing of their placement in the same echelon as Wonkette. Every child deserves a treat on occasion, we suppose. Voting starts Jan. 5. [GODDAMMIT NEWELL YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GRACIOUS. WELL WE SHALL SEE HOW YOU ACT ONCE THIS DEPRESSION ENDS, IN 2028. -- Ed.] [2008 Weblog Awards]


Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


AWOcoholic December 30, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Finished jerking off?

shortsshortsshorts December 30, 2008 at 5:48 pm

Why don’t you just suck yourself and be done with it? I mean JEEBUS CRIST. The love you have for this.
I’m voting for ALEX JONES.

WagTehGod December 30, 2008 at 5:50 pm

I don’t see a category for Best EcoDriving Blog … what kind of awards racket is this?

Min December 30, 2008 at 5:51 pm

Well done, Wonkette. And I am unanimous in this!

sevenrepeat December 30, 2008 at 5:51 pm

I’d like to thank Jesus Christ, my family and the Academy……oh, and my lawyers.

mdotsota December 30, 2008 at 5:52 pm


hockeymom December 30, 2008 at 5:53 pm

How is Politico NOT nominated?

facehead December 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm

(to be sung to the tune of “Angel of Death” by Slayer)

Wonkette, the magic warblog

Lived by the snark.

Ken and Jim, Sara and Juli,

hope you never jump the shark.

(the song continues in Celtic, Ken bites head off bat, police typically run in at this point and stop everything)

Bruno December 30, 2008 at 5:56 pm

Are you serious? This is a liberal blog?

You guys are the best & deserve the nomination. Those other sites can suck it.

Happy to vote for you if mortals are allowed, but by the time Nov 5 rolls around I’ll have killed off too many braincells to remember

Kev-O-Tron December 30, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Hello? JANUARY 5th? Get off the pot Newell.

Now if they had an award for highest average blood alcohol content before noon…. We’d definitely have that shit on lock.

Jim Newell December 30, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=207107]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: THATS WHAT I SAID…

cal December 30, 2008 at 6:02 pm

The 2008 “We Blog” Awards?

Uh, okay, you blog, that’s nice, nerds.

crikey_booya December 30, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Please don’t embarrass yourself by talking about the Dali Lama during your acceptance speech!

chascates December 30, 2008 at 6:06 pm

You should be in more than one category (especially since they have about 87). Best Comedy, Best Culture, Best Political Coverage too! Cocksuckers. They’re in the tank for Politico & Andrew Sullivan.

sevenrepeat December 30, 2008 at 6:06 pm

Uh, I think my myspace page was overlooked for a nomination again!! Darn those racist weblog awarders!!

Bruno December 30, 2008 at 6:07 pm

What? Joe the Blog didn’t get ANY nomination? What kind of crooked socialist contest is this?

BTW, can someone explain the point of KOS to me sometime? I can’t figure out how to read/navigate that boring thing. And the best article they ever had, the one about Palin’s pseudo-pregnancy got removed from it.

HuskyMescan December 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm

I was a regular at C&L, but I was too snarky. Wonks fits me like a condom.

Kev-O-Tron December 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm

This is such a dog and pony show. Where to begin? No RonPaulForums? No Hillaryis44? countryaboveself.com? thankyougeorgewbush.com?

This is like a debutante ball for dope smoking hipsters who ride fixies.

SayItWithWookies December 30, 2008 at 6:09 pm

Does this mean you’re going to start building your mausoleum now, Jim?

El Bombastico December 30, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Is the logo for the Weblog awards a computer monitor sitting atop a giant turd? If so, Taylor Marsh will P’WN you guys.

Seriously, Taylor Marsh????

Kev-O-Tron December 30, 2008 at 6:10 pm

[re=207113]sevenrepeat[/re]: It was too sparkly.

chascates December 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm

And how many of those other blogs have been mentioned by CNN???

jagorev December 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm

I’d like to do this “weblog awards” site what we did to to that nice “Patriots and Traitors” site

bfstevie December 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Liberal blog? Like Bruno, I was totally unaware of this. I hope nobody rats me out to Bill Kristol and Campbell Brown. I miss giant Campbell Brown. Bill Kristol, not so much.

chascates December 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm

[re=207091]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Don’t the Lizard People have a blog?

shortsshortsshorts December 30, 2008 at 6:12 pm

[re=207114]Bruno[/re]: Daily Kos is unexplainable to the untrained eye. To the trained eye however it is simply unreadable.
Sorry Kos. You have gone far, far over the edge. You make Wonkette look like serious bizniss.

Keram2 December 30, 2008 at 6:14 pm

[re=207116]HuskyMescan[/re]: Crooks and Liars commenters don’t laugh. There’s no time for laughing when Bush hasn’t been impeached.

jagorev December 30, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Also, traitor Josh Fruhlinger of the Comics Curmudgeon has been nominated for “Best Humor Blog”. I fail to see what’s humorous about perverting good, clean, all-American cartoons with filthy comments about oral sex

El Bombastico December 30, 2008 at 6:16 pm

It will be stiff competition in the “Best Online Community” category between the Michael Jackson Fan Forum and SVUfans.net. What, no love for the denizens of midgetstumpporn.net??

Kev-O-Tron December 30, 2008 at 6:16 pm

[re=207126]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That sites a fucking train wreck. I don’t know why I even try to read it. I give it a cursory glance every day or so and it’s always mundane, a day late and dollar short and basically just dumb. The bloggers there take themselves WAY too seriously.

[re=207121]chascates[/re]: ah hem!

jagorev December 30, 2008 at 6:16 pm

[re=207102]hockeymom[/re]: Ben Smith’s amoral hackery on Politico is nominated for best political blog

shortsshortsshorts December 30, 2008 at 6:19 pm

[re=207129]El Bombastico[/re]:

Lionel Hutz Esq. December 30, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Clearly, we do not have enough commentators posting in all caps to be a political, let alone, liberal blog.

chascates December 30, 2008 at 6:21 pm

[re=207130]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: When I hit the submit button I knew I had done a bad. If not for Kev-O-Tron CNN might have been lost, if not for CNN the nomination might have been lost, etc.

shortsshortsshorts December 30, 2008 at 6:21 pm

[re=207130]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: It’s fucking hilarious. When the Kos gets a story (ohh I’d say 90% of the time), they hack it up to make it look bigger then when it had originally broke three years prior. They do the same thing as the Enquirer, but only after the story has died a fiery death and is rotting in Journalism-Hell.

shortsshortsshorts December 30, 2008 at 6:30 pm

One last thing:
There is some AWESOME DOOD totally attacking Wonkette.


bago December 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm

Ah, all that practice with my scrollwheel finger has finally paid off.

Kev-O-Tron December 30, 2008 at 6:33 pm

[re=207134]chascates[/re]: Yes, it’s clear that the success of this blog is largely due to me, a commenter who only showed up about six months ago and is rarely funny, mostly grammatically incorrect and always under the influence of something (if only from the night before.)

[re=207135]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Which makes it all the stranger that O’Reilly et al go on routine tirades against a blog that isn’t taken seriously by anyone with half a brain. HuffPo and Kos are really geared towards teenagers who are angry with their Republican parents and need some talking points to spew at the dinner table.

j6n December 30, 2008 at 6:38 pm

One word for why you were nominated at all -> Trucknutz.

V572625694 December 30, 2008 at 6:40 pm

[re=207129]El Bombastico[/re]: No shit! If this isn’t the “Best Online Community,” then there’s no such thing as an on-line community.

Which is pretty much the case: if you belong to some community, you don’t need to spend all your time writing brilliant, touching, poignant, hysterical comments on “the Wonkette,” as Howie Kurtz calls it/us/this.

sevenrepeat December 30, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=207120]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: someone’s got to give perez hilton a run for his money…or just get him to run period.

Scandalabra December 30, 2008 at 6:42 pm

I hope you guys don’t have to face Andrew Sullivan in the green room after your win. It could get catty.

hockeymom December 30, 2008 at 6:44 pm

[re=207131]jagorev[/re]: Best Political Blog in Bizarro-World, maybe.

chascates December 30, 2008 at 6:53 pm

I guess FiveThirtyEight is a shoo-in for the best political blog. Or as he might put it “92.7% sure to win.”

wheelie December 30, 2008 at 7:18 pm

I can’t believe there is no Best Root Vegetable Blog category, and they overlooked the Nasal Hair Blogging category too – I would have been in there with a chance but it’s all so mainstreamy these days.

I remember when blogging was all about tedious people typing worthless gibberish which nobody reads. Where did it all go wrong?

bonsai pajamas December 30, 2008 at 7:52 pm

Will there be leftovers from the awards banquet?

j6n December 30, 2008 at 7:56 pm

[re=207200]wheelie[/re]: Replaced with Twitter.

HuskyMescan December 30, 2008 at 7:57 pm

[re=207140]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hahaha, that was easy getting him to show his true colors. he sure does like the cocksucking, too. And he’s been hanging around that post for days now.

AngryBlakGuy December 30, 2008 at 8:19 pm

…I think I speak for all the other commentors, that are on “Final Warning” for blogging at work when I say “Your Welcome!!!”

Colander December 30, 2008 at 8:38 pm

I’ve never heard of about 95% of those blogs.

loquaciousmusic December 30, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Fuck you all. I’ve just nominated “Hillary Clinton Supporters for John McCain,” which will now win first place in EVERY category.

Now I’m going to return to posting on SVUfans.net. You’re all a bunch of bozos.

WIDTAP December 30, 2008 at 9:09 pm

I say Jim, Kev and Sarah owe it all to Kev-O-Tron. His timely and insightful comment “MAD, MAD, MAD” put you all on the map. Face it. Prior to that point this site was never able to overcome the Anna Marie Cox buttsecks plateau.

TGY December 30, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Wait, Wonkette is a blog? I’ve obviously taken the wrong tube in teh Intarwebs.

S.Luggo December 30, 2008 at 10:06 pm

The category of “Small Rodent-Eating, Infectious Pet Reptile Blog” seems empty. Wonkette would be a shoe-in to be a champ there. Unless, unless, of course, Wonkette were put head-to-head with the autobiographical musings of Michelle Malkin.
I trust that I’ve not overstepped myself.

S.Luggo December 30, 2008 at 10:19 pm

[re=207102]hockeymom[/re]: Politico is now in the “Hello, Kitty” category. With content, fair is fair.

snideinplainsight December 30, 2008 at 10:29 pm

See, the deal is, we’re all Wonketeers. That’s been plain since day 1. We admit it freely. No one questions it. Either you are one of us or you aren’t.

What are they over at Politico? Politicoids? Politoheads? The Polity? Please –

Also, I blame furries.

snideinplainsight December 30, 2008 at 10:33 pm

Andrew Sullivan? Sullivanians? Sullivanners? Sulv-its? Don’t make me laugh-

S.Luggo December 30, 2008 at 10:38 pm

[re=207152]j6n[/re]: Form defines substance.
— Dick Cheney

J December 31, 2008 at 3:28 am

Awww, Wonkette nominated for an award and Ana Marie Cox unemployed and panhandling for money. The irony.

Bruno December 31, 2008 at 6:30 am

[re=207223]HuskyMescan[/re]: The Wolf did show an unhealthy obsession with that thread. I had long forgotten about that and just filed it in the just another ‘GOP child molester’ category.

Bruno December 31, 2008 at 6:38 am

[re=207126]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: RE KOS. What’s up with this “Open Thread for Night Owls, Early Birds & Expats” idea?

At times when there aren’t frequent updates here, I wish we had some additional stimulus, but somehow we make do. What would you even begin to type in an open thread?

Oh, and now they have lame awards like “MOST VALUABLE POLICY GROUP: The Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy”.

Yawn – Jim – Thanks for the video Top 10 we wouldn’t be here if you gave out “MOST VALUABLE GRASSROOTS INITIATIVE” awards

actor212 December 31, 2008 at 8:52 am

I humbly admit that my blog, Simply Left Behind, has also been nominated for a Weblog Award: Best Up And Coming Blog (Authority between 51 and 100).

actor212 December 31, 2008 at 8:54 am

[re=207109]cal[/re]: That’s “Web Log” Award…you know, as in nine inches of hard, round, thick, juicy…blogging.

Five, if you’re Caucasian.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 31, 2008 at 9:27 am

Wait. 95 gazillionty posts, and not one mention of the real reason why Wonkette got nominated in the first place: Best Blog That Mentions Buttsecks With Alarming Frequency? SHOCKED I am!

Doglessliberal December 31, 2008 at 9:29 am

It should have been nominated for best blog, period, and certainly best political blog.

Larry McAwful December 31, 2008 at 9:34 am

Is our rival wonkett.com nominated for anything? Or is that crazy liberal “hate” site undeserving? You know—the other site where Kev-O-Tron posts, I believe.

Monsieur Grumpe December 31, 2008 at 9:45 am

WARBLOGGER action figures coming soon to store near you!!!

See! Moderately overweight WARBLOGGERS wrestle with Laptops with such feverish intensity as to keep you riveted for minutes on end!

Coming Soon in 2012!



WIDTAP December 31, 2008 at 11:08 am

[re=207400]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: WABLOGGERS! THE MOVIE!

Staring Shia LaBeauf.

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