Wonkette
- The Israeli army — like Perez Hilton’s dog and Obama before it — has started a YouTube channel. [Contentions]
- People magazine will bail out Levi and Bristol by paying $300,000 for pictures of Tripp, the Trig of the future. [The Scoop]
- Bloomberg and Co. will stop trying to do any favors for Caroline Kennedy because she cannot manage to do a simple thing like secure the Senate seat. [Ben Smith]
- Oh good: the military is continuing the important work they began with the movie Transformers by holing themselves up with Shia LaBeouf in the desert to help out with Transformers 2: Inexplicably Back to the Cover of Vanity Fair. [TPMMuckraker]
- MoveOn and Politico have entered into a thrilling no-stakes civil war, in which they are competing to decide who is the very saddest about Rick Warren. Spoiler alert: they both lose; it’s Christopher Hitchens. [AMERICAblog]
Wonder what Bristol and the high-school drop-out will do with the money? Pay for a wedding?
Let’s just raise the jolly roger and declare war on Politico — they’re continuing the Dubya legacy in that everything they do is incompetent partisan crap.
As a lifelong liberal and committed Obamatard, I think I speak for all of us when I say: f*ck MoveOn, and f*ck Politico
Min: I’ll be looking for the nuptials on CMT’s My Big Fat Redneck Wedding…
Lovely. More Trans-fucking-formers - now with even more army stuff. WTF is the army brass thinking? Is this part of some master plan to recruit more 12-year olds? What’s next - Jonas Brothers: Boot Camp ? Also, somebody needs to whack Michael Bay before he films again. Perhaps they can bury the body next to Ken’s Mojave misille silo home?
Min: Those oil-derrick-style chocolate fountains ain’t cheap, and neither is his’n'hers matching snowmobiles.
Well I for one am glad to see someone has finally given poor Hitchens something constructive to do with himself. His latest Slate column is great.
Cool, now they can post bail for Granny May-belle and she can rustle up some “favors” for the Palin NYE party!
Min: Dude, you do know what kind of RV $300K buys????
actor212: The happy couple will doubtless invest in something styling, like the tricked-out Winnebago Eddie Albert drove in Escape to Witch Mountain. The rest will be spent on hookers and blow, and that’s just Bristol’s portion of the money.
Aren’t there any other stupid half wit celebrity babies that People Magazine can throw $300K at?
You know they’re going to spend 90% of it on Grandma’s bail money, more OxyContin pills, Levi’s new snowmobile and Nana Palin’s 5th Shopping spree at Needless Markups and waste the rest.
I can’t wait for the “Trip’n Trig” reality show on Fox in 2025.
ManchuCandidate: That’s just slanderous; they will spend their money at the Wasilla Target that Sarah got kickbacks from.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Totally. I can see Levi down at the KOA office, trying to pick up the reservations chick:
“You gotta see the retractable deck! Suweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!”
People Magazine once again proves why this planet sucks and always will. The idea that that dimwitted, drug-addled bimbo, and her redneck fuckbuddy, and their mutant offspring Tripp “Linda” Spanglish Johnston or something, will start out with a 300k nest egg is just …
So that means Bristol got paid 2 years of the GILF’s salary for getting knocked up at least once. That’s the family values and GOP messaging I like.
I hope they get addicted to the $$$, spend it all in 6 months and want a hankering for more. This would lead to many great developments, including my dream of the tell-all book about GILF while they live in exile in the lower 48.
When Levi and Briss get around to making it legal, the little bastard can be ring bearer.
Min: Nothing is more stupid than a young girl planning her wedding, especially when she thinks money is “no object”.
I think Levi wanted to call the kid ‘Trapp.’
ManchuCandidate: People’s $300K is perfectly safe. Neither mattress-back nor her Romeo know how to endorse a check.
You know Granny Palin wants her cut. Her sense of entitlement is the size of Alaska and her maternal care is fucking golden. She’s not just giving it up for fucking nothing.
Bruno:
You don’t need to hope. What kind of real life skills does an 18 year old hockey player whose mom is a drug dealer or 17ish year old entitled princess gonna have?
I’m just going to stand back and watch the wreckage.
Let’s start a pool on any future sibling names. I’ll take Triffid, for five bucks.
Wee Mousie:
Fits the hockey motif. Bristol was called “Five Hole.”
Hitch wins all “who is the saddest” competitions hands (and pants) down.
ManchuCandidate: Really? I heard her nickname was “Two Man Advantage”…
OK, that was a cheap shot at a minor child. I apologize.
Bristol isn’t a minor anymore, take aim! I think her birthday was October 18th, and most of the stories about her giving birth refer to her as 18-years-old.
Min: Triffid is a bit exotic and lower forty-eighty. I’m putting my five down on Puck. But shit, that’s a real name in the rest of the world, so won’t do. Final answer: Zamboni.
undermedicated: I was trying to stay with the Tri theme (I considered Trifecta, but decided it was too obvious), but I have to admit, Zamboni Palin Johnston does have a certain ring to it.
Apparently what they were most excited about was that since he was born before January 1, they could take Trapp as a deduction on their 2008 tax returns
And the little tyke qualifies for the ‘08 Permanent Fund Dividend check- party on!
Remember back to the good old days when Republicans would have called her a “slut” and so much shame would have been heaped on the two of them and their families that they could never wash it off? Now, they give them all-expense-paid tours of the United States and a 300G photo contract. When Chinese historians write the history of this country, they can point to shit like this as the reason we’re gone.
Tripp is named for Tripp Wellde, the Volunteer Coordinator for the Presidential Inauguration. I just got my email from him requiring me to attend mandatory reeducation camp - I mean 2 hour training for inaugural volunteers. I will deny ever having been here on Wonkette-if you are asked, just say you don’t know me. Also.
They are so gonna make Transformers 2 a pilot for the GI Joe movie.
Gooooo Joe!
The Wolf: Oh hey, look! It’s Trig and he’s learned to type!
And he’s even more coherent than his mom!
No, the other mom.
So what, they couldn’t decise between Filippe and Tranny (after uncle Bob ’sally’ Palin)?
decide.
The Wolf: “cocksucking faggot” as opposed to, like, the other kind?
A People magazine executive denied media speculation Tuesday that Bristol Palin made at least $300,000 for giving the publication first shot at photos of her newborn son.
Further into the article: ”
“Would we pay for a picture of her and her kid? I don’t know. It’s something I would consider. It’s not something I would rule out of hand,” he said.
“Maybe if the father left her and went off with Angelina Jolie, but that might not happen,” he said.
http://www.adn.com/palin/story/638435.a