Wonkette
Blago, he’s good today. He set up this press conference to announce his surprise Senate pick, and here he is, dressed to the nines, punctual, grinning, even rattling off a few well-turned sentences in Mexican. He knows he’s politically outmaneuvered Harry Reid, which is perhaps the easiest achievement known to man, but still: “Blagojevich’s news conference came less than an hour after U.S. Senate Democratic leadership issued a statement saying the Senate will not seat anyone the governor chooses to fill Illinois’ vacant Senate post.” O RLY, Democratic leadership? You’re going to REFUSE this nice, experienced, elderly black gentleman a legally valid seat in the Senate? Ha ha, no you won’t!
Obviously this hilarious standoff will end with Harry Reid castrating himself and letting Rod Blagojevich become the new Senate Majority Leader. UPDATE: Aha! Illinois Rep. Bobby Rush also spoke at the presser to offer his support of Burris, and he said THIS: “I would ask you not to hang or lynch the appointee as you try to castigate the appointor.” HA HA HA, yeah c’mon Harry Reid, stop lynching black people, it’s a dick move. This will be amazing.
How much fucking money did Blago get for this appointment. Inquiring minds want to know.
End with Harry Reid castrating himself? Surely he did that a long, long time ago. Perhaps you meant symbolic castration, which apparently never gets old for Harry.
…lets see how far they dangle Harry!
“Wonkette created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat.”
This is going to be good.
Am I the only who is coming around to a grudging admiration for Blago?
What did he say, what did he say? I couldn’t concentrate on anything but that David Crockett hat on his head.
Touche
He knows he has them by the short hairs, and knew it all along. That’s why he’s been in no rush to resign.
Oh, lordy — in this corner, from the bowels of the Chicago machine, it’s Godzilla the Hair Monster. And in the other corner, representing the Nevada Garden Party Alliance, Mrs. J. Alfred Prufrock.
jagorev: No, you’re not alone. Blago’s got his A-game on now, and it is…, um, maybe beautiful isn’t the best word for it, but it is certainly art.
Actually, that’s not what Reid et al said; they said that Senator Burris will not be allowed in the caucus, making him as powerful as the Sergent-at-Arms.
Actually, the SaA can arrest people, so Burris actually will have less power.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Chauncey Gardiner!
jagorev: Joey Ratz: It IS Illinois after all so we expect him to be crooked. And if he’s going to just ignore it and keep going you have to admire that kind of single-mindedness. It usually comes from a Repuglican but whatever.
T’aint a thing Harry can do.
Maybe he’ll remember how much of a “pussy” he looked when he let “Jew” (as in Joe) Lieberman off the hook.
Did I say “Jew?” Oh, sorry, I was listening to the republican CD distributed by my main man Chip and got carried away with “parody” that’s now completely acceptable.
Quick aside… that state senator in Casino who’s always getting comped by Robert DeNiro but then totally fucks him is Harry Reid. Just making sure we’re all on the same page here.
4tehlulz: Wouldn’t it be kind of beautiful if the fourth black Senator since Reconstruction, representing Illinois of all places, defected to the Republican caucus because of Harry Reid? I didn’t know Harry Reid had this much FAIL in him.
Let’s just stop having Illinois politicians after Obama. let’s move Illinois out to sea or something.
Aw, Blago’s li’l pixie face. It’s irresistable!!
Reefpilot: I hope the Nevada Senator in Godfather II who ends up killing a hooker is also based on Harry Reid.
Tar Baby jest sits der and duhnt say nuffing!
jagorev: It would; even better, Chip Saltsman has a theme song ready for him and everything.
Totally Off Topic and Reposted from the Magic Negro Thread -
OMFG, Chip’s ‘blog’ allows comments and even addresses this topic (”well DUH, if the LA Times said it first it must be OK to repeat”)!
These are moderated comments so you will need to be clever in getting stuff through, but time for a FAIL anyone?
http://www.chipsaltsman.com/index.cfm?Fuseaction=Blogs.View&Blog_id=cc9ca87e-21b2-4120-ba35-f4427f284f22&Label_id=&Year=&Month=
Blaggy got that audacity part down really good. I hope he got Burris to pay up front. This little contretemps is way better than all that “the economy is falling” stuff with details and stuff.
Carpet-bagger.
OK, back on topic, how much frickin’ coke does Blago do before press conferences?
And what the hell’s he doing speakin’ in Bulgarian?
Joey Ratz: It’s like a Jackson Pollack. All fucked up at first and then you realize that there’s a really insane beauty to it. Blago, I might just start a slow clap in your honor.
Actually, this article might make you rethink Sen. Reid:
http://www.slate.com/id/2111392/
I don’t think killing a hooker is altogether beyond him.
That Blago’s got a set of Truck Nutz the size of WALNUTS! cheeks.
Everytime Blago lies his hair drops farther down his face.
Pollock. Knew I should have checked that.
Chutzpah: (1) unmitigated effrontery or impudence; gall; (2) audacity; nerve. Synonym: Rod Blagojevich (D-IL).
Bravo, bravo.
jagorev: From the start I’ve kind of watched the whole Blago thing with a slight grin, a shrug, an “Oh, that’s Illinois”, and a craving for deep dish pizza.
jagorev: You are not alone. Just in time for the holiday season, a nice, warm, hairy serving of chutzpah! In his own way, Blagojevich is like that miraculous Hanukkah lamp that never ran out of oil — he’s the holiday gift that keeps on giving. FREE BLAGO!
Aww, I was so sure he’d appoint the president of the Hair Club For Men.
Crazybroad: Oy vey — you beat me to the chutzpah thing.
Crazybroad: The Audacity of Chutzpa..wokka…
Nice, nice move by Blago. The ball’s in your court, Reid-o. Stand on principle (stop laughing, everyone) or cave on this as you do on everything else.
shortsshortsshorts: I thought the ancient saying was: “Everytime Blago lies a magic negro dies.”
If Eliot Spitzer had anywhere near Blago’s balls, he’d be Vice President by now.
SayItWithWookies: He grows old, he grows old
He’s confronted by Rughead, and he folds
jagorev:
Blago is a fantistic real-life troll whose balls must look like brass TRUK NUTZ. It takes fucking talent to be such a massive, unapologetic douche bag.
… Did he go to Georgetown or something?
Jagorev:
If Spitzer had Blago’s balls…
1) He would have paid off the prosecution… with hookers.
2) Ashley Dupre would have been burst apart like a bratwurst in a microwave.
3) Bernie Madoff would be incoming Sec’y of the Treasury
4) Willam H. Macy would be able to look forward to an Oscar winning turn as “Spitzer”
As soon as I saw Blago’s first post-Fitzgerald press conference, he reminded me of someone and it’s been bugging me that I can’t think of who. Then I see this wonderful performance today and it finally hit me: Ronald Reagan. Anyone else see it? The voice, the way he moves his head, even his face a bit. If he had an upsweep in his hairline, it’d be perfect.
Fuck Burris for even participating in this charade.
Of course, why spend months fundraising for Blago if you don’t expect a little payoff.
Violenza: I feel like mussing his hair and giving him a dog bisquit.
Maus: Blago has yet to realize that US Senators don’t have commutation powers.
Roland Burris is an archetypal old school South side ward committeeman who is taking a step down in power and prestige in the old Ninth Ward by accepting the Senate seat.
also - Ronald II and Ronalda? Ronald, you’re too dumb to be a senator. next…!
@jagorev: absolutely not. this guy is a special breed of crazy, it’s hard not to be impressed.
Jon Scott, FOX News, on the Blago appointment and Burris:
“How will he avoid the smell of the taint.”
Why does Roland Burris sound like he OD’d on vicodin 20 min ago? This man is going to have a stroke any second…maybe once that occurs in the next week Jackson Jr. will get he senate seat he paid hella money for? Or maybe free vicodin for everyone? Both?
Balls would have been appointing himself to the senate.
Blago has access to better Chicago laywers as the Gov.
And cash.
Roland Burris is not black. I don’t care if he looks like that.
Blue_in_VA: I first thought Blago was just a coke fiend. While this still may be true, I read somewhere that Blago was a boxer growing up (no, I don’t have the patience to find a source).
It seems like when he goes into press conferences (at least the two I’ve seen) he bounces around like a boxer. I just don’t know which boxer he best represents, but it sure ain’t Mohammed Ali.
For the sake of everyone, I sincerely hope Ill Sec. of State Jesse White refuses to certify this and any other appointments made by Governor Batshit Crazy.
What video wizardry is this? Jethro Bodine, business-attired and in his right mind, introducing Deacon Frye as the next Senator from Illinois?
Man I am so confused. I thought Barack was supposed to assuage white guilt.
“U.S. Senate Democratic leadership”
And ain’t that a contradiction in terms?
It’s like a duel of wits between unarmed opponents.
rocktonsammy: Agree! - if ‘Perfect Hair Forever’ Blago really *did* have swingin’ TRUKNUTZ he woulda claimed that Senate seat on Nov 5, like I would’ve if I were an unpopular sitting Governor with a get-outta-jail-card like this one. As for gramps Burris - well, nice black men seldom get to be nice OLD black men by bein’ this stooooopid…. talk about grabbing that career-ending poisoned chalice with both hands! If he were still razor-sharp & twice as cold, he’d infiltrate Blago’s team while droppin’ a dime to Rahm ‘The Enforcer’ Emanuel, in exchange for a taint-free Senate seat or at least a nice comfy Under-Sec gig that he won’t have to defend in 2 years.
And if Burris is somehow seated, if anyone knows how to lose a Senate race in Illinois with a (D) next to their name, it’s probably him. The man hasn’t won anything of any importance in the past eighteen years.