Wonkette
The very terrifying Lynn Sweet reports: “WASHINGTON—I’ve learned that Gov. Blagojevich is poised to name former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris to replace President elect Barack Obama in the Senate on Tuesday afternoon… Blagojevich called a press conference for 2 p.m. Chicago time at the Thompson State of Illinois Center.” Well this is sure to go over smoothly. Anyway, ha: “Senate Leader Harry Reid (D-Nv.) had said he would ask the Senate not to seat any Blagojevich appointee, in order to make sure the seat is free of taint.” [Chicago Sun-Times]
I always found the part where Blagojevich puts on that giant ring and shoves his whole hand up Burris’s ass really…uncomfortable.
Taint-free seats?!
“…..in order to make sure the seat is free of taint.”
Harry Reid has a sense of humor? who knew?
Blagojevich Consulting Team: When letting the boss have any sense of reality just won’t do.
Unlickable, this taint is.
Rahm hasn’t had Blago whacked yet, WTF? He’s definitely losing his edge.
Whoa! Harry Reid said that? Oh that’s right - he only rolls over for Republicans.
I am with Harry Ried on this one.
I usually stand at my desk, so that my office chair is also free of taint.
Will the new junior Senator for Illinois also have to stand?
Anonymous Office Zombie: hey, he is in Africa- probably arranging the deal with someone there- maybe Mugabe.
why would you say yes to this appointment? What does Blago have on this guy to make him agree?
I don’t think that Reid can refuse to seat him. Sure, as majority leader of the Senate, Reid could instruct the Sgt. at Arms to physically refuse him access to the Senate floor. But then all Blago’s boy would have to do is file a case with the US Supreme Court, which would rule on it in about 26 minutes, and he would be seated. But THEN, Reid could lead an effort to expel Blago’sBoy from the Senate, which may or may not succeed.
That aside, why would anyone want to take a Senate appointment under these circumstances?
Anonymous Office Zombie: Barry politely asked him not to. That’s all.
Lynn Sweet can be credited for this particular taint line.
Wait….
Harry Reid and testicles don’t usually occur. What the hell is going on? BLAGO YOU ARE MAKING YOUR OWN PARTY ACCOUNTABLE CUT OUT NOW.
YOU BOYS LIKE MECKSEEEKO?
As long as he’s wearing pants, I don’t see what his taint has to do with it.
I once made a pretty good living selling my tainted seats to old perverts on eBay, until eBay banned the sale of tainted goods.
…oh, another “Magical Negro” I see!!!
Now,now, t’aint nice to make jokes like that.
…I hope Jesse Jackson Jr. kept his receipt, cuz I have feeling someone is gonna want a refund!
finallyhappy:
And probably stocking up on poison tipped darts, collecting specimens of rare, horrible diseases, and enlisting the services of a couple witch doctors, etc. I guess Rahm’s not pussing out so much as he’s building his arsenal for ‘09.
Free taint sure beats pay-per-taint.
AnnieGetYourFun:
You should advertise on Wonkette. I hear they’re very reasonable and the typical Wonkette blogger is probably the audience you should be targeting.
AngryBlakGuy: ’sup Chip?
AnnieGetYourFun: There’s always the Japanese vending machine trade.
Hmm, Blago now finds a need to hire an expensive lawyer to defend himself. Then he sends another expensive lawyer to the senate. How hard is it to figure out the profit opportunities in that & who brokered the deal on an untapped phone?
Just to be clear, Illinois’s taint isn’t found in a patch of O’Hare, but it’s a spot at the Midway.
LittlePig: Annie’s tainted goods are probably too old for the….check that; Annie’s too old for the Japanese.
I think his cousin Plaxico would have been a better shot, er, … pick.
“Senate Leader Harry Reid (D-Nv.) had said he would ask the Senate not to seat any Blagojevich appointee, in order to make sure the seat is free of taint.”
I’d think a page with a squeegee could deal with that sort of problem, but maybe they have new rules in place since that unfortunate event last Cocktober.
4tehlulz: …the cost of a gay hooker!
As a Howard Univ. grad, General Burris knows the most tainted seats in Washington DC are at the counter Ben’s Chili Bowl on “pants optional” days. Ask Lynn Sweet.
BigDupa: Or Kwame Kilpatrick.
and Reid capitulates in 3, 2, 1…
populucious: Blagojevich has now produced a fitting end to Douchember.
pepe: Blago’s boy
Who you calling
boy?
Here’s the funny part: it’s quite possible Blago didn’t anything illegal. D’ya think every senate appointment isn’t evaluated in terms of what the prospective appointee can do for the appointer? Rod’s only crime: he cared too much.
Anonymous Office Zombie: If we’re lucky, he’ll bring back a few of the Lord’s Resistance Army boys and set them loose on the infernal Serb. One of their fortes is cutting off lips.
Oh, and Rahm needs to swing by Peru on his way back and pay a visit to those stampy shamans. Good juju there.
Anita Cocktail: T’aint what you do, it’s the way that you do it!
Harry Reid doesn’t want taint? Sounds to me like he’s just jealous cuz he has no ballz.
Incattatus had that kind of change?
Roland fucking Burris??? That Blago sure is tricksey. Roland Burris???? Ugh. No. Yuck.
“There are few surviving sources on Caligula’s reign, and although he is described as a noble and moderate ruler during the first two years of his rule, after this the sources focus upon his cruelty, extravagance, and sexual perversity, presenting him as an insane tyrant.”
Oh well, thank you Wikipedia.
MathewBrooks: Really. I bet when Harry Reid orders a Whopper Double Cheese they give him something else just because they can.
I am suspicious of a guy named Roland who named his children Roland and Rolanda. And who also has a grandson named Roland.
The receipt for Obama’s seat has been made public, signed by Attorney General Burris. The price? Thirty pieces of silver, of course.
The bad news is that Jesse Jackson Jr. also has a receipt for the exact same amount…
A seat with no taint? So Reid will only allow robots and cartoon characters in the Senate now? When did he begin this fabulous new policy?
Our Associate Editor is going to liveblog the presser, right? Because some of us don’t have speakers in our work computers, and this is going to be fucking golden.
Damn, I only clicked because I was sure there’d be pictures from the porn “Caligula.”
I went to see that in a movie theatre in NY on 8th Street, the year it came out, with a girl I was dating in college. 300 people assembled in the dark to watch hardcore porn. The discomfort was palpable. That kind of thing doesn’t happen so much anymore…
CorkPopper: Yes, Please. I haz no teevee and this is going to be golden!
Yes! Please liveblog! The flaming pile of golden shit that is Blago deserves only the best in news coverage.
CNN Live! online is going to carry it. They showed the warm-up comic already at the podium.
V572625694: You’re spot on. Life is the real bitch here. And, Bitch set him up.
I hate to break it to you, Harry, but that seat will be closely associated with taint no matter who sits there.
Mr Blifil: 300 people watching hardcore porn was a frat party at NYU when I went there.
this press conference is so funny
Feliz Navidad, baby! If Blago DIDN’T appoint a senator he could be in big trouble.
And if Burris doesn’t get his senate seat then all of Congress is racist, so there.
CorkPopper: How do you feel about George Foreman and his entire family of Georges?
Lt. Gov. of Illinois now speaking. But not nearly as interesting as Blago & Circus.
Lt. Gov says Blago not just tained but has
A proud moment for *everyone* .
UNCLEAN HANDS! Whew!, this is so much more interesting than that mess in Gaza.
Jukesgrrl: I just think of Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.
Actually, Burris is regarded as a responsible person. He served 12 years as Illinois Comptroller and 4 as Attorney General with no scandals. As principal in a legal/lobbying firm, he should have the contacts to get some suitable scrap for Blags the Impaler.
Blago is my most favorite person in the world. Nothing bothers this man. The most intense media and political pressure in the known universe and still his hair is in place and he’s doing his job and acting like nothing out of the ordinary has happened the past month or so. I love him. Long may this circus continue. And fuck Harry Reid. Nice that he grows some balls for use against his own party after letting republicans and the world of finance walk all over him. I’d pay big money for a Blago v. Reid last-man-standing fight to the finish.
FINISH HIM BLAGO
CorkPopper: All his other relatives are called “Burris”.
Ya and if any of you can tell me who Caligula was I will give you 30 real U.S. dollars, or a pound of Ron Paul Gold. This is why the Meme is so fucking hilarious.
The end. TIME FOR BED.
TroutSavant: Sorry Trout, I can’t read too good.