Wonkette
DICK CHENEY HAS NO IDEA WHY EVERYONE HATES HIS GUTS: Q: “How do you explain your low approval rating?” A: “I don’t have any idea. I don’t follow the polls.” [Casper Star Tribune/Think Progress]
DON'T LET THE DOOR ETC.
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I used to say, “If he only had a heart.”
Its more accurate to say “If he only had a brain and a heart, then again he’s a repub.”
He’s a hybrid scarecrow/tinman demon
Q. How do you explain your conviction on all counts at the War Crimes Trials?
A. I have no idea. I don’t follow the law.
Dear Dick:
Satan called. Your reservation in hell is confirmed. Kthxbai.
I haz delusionalz?
What a lovely man. I hope he finds a nice hobby after he retires like clearing land mines with a walking stick.
Q: How do you explain the gazillion dollars in war profits in your various bank accounts?
A: I have no idea. I’m just wiping my butt with Franklin note.
The subscribers to the Casper Star-Tribune sound alot like Wonkette posters:
BornInTheUSA wrote on Dec 29, 2008 7:32 AM:
” The five time draft dodger cheney and his traitorous drunken deserter of a boss, georgie bush, should have the opportunity to defend their actions where it counts, the World Court, charged with war crimes, crimes against humanity and crimes against nature.”
Oh, Dick! You irrepressible scamp! I will miss your wacky antics when you are gone.
His poll numbers with those who worship Lucifer are quite high, actually.
…will someone please throw a shoe at this S.O.B. for god sakes!?!?!?!
“I don’t follow the polls, but I’ve shot a poll taker or two.”
Damn, what color is the sky in your world you creepy, vile piece of human filth?
Anyone named Richard that still calls himself Dick is at the very least self-aware…..
I’ve tasted his guts…. I found them bitter.
Q: You say that wireless wiretaping and torture have kept us safe. India, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia — among others — do the same things, but they haven’t been kept safe. What’s the difference?
A: Those other countries haven’t also invaded a Middle Eastern nation for no reason and made occupying American troops a far more desirable target than civilians in America.
Q: So you can attract more flies with — um — up-armored Humvees than you can with — wait –
A: Flies are both fun and delicious.
What an incorrigible little so and so he is!!
Oh, VP Cheney, you are positively the living end.
Best. Liar. Ever.
Quick, everyone turn their microwaves on full when his motorcade passes by.
Maybe we can get his ticker to fibrillate!
Secretly knows he will be stoned by a mob the second he sets foot into the street without a platoon of Secret Service agents in what respect, Charlie?
DangerousLiberal: A: “If the Executive Branch does it, it is not illegal”
Can someone knock up a quick “Thank you DICK Cheney” website, similar to Thank you George W. website? Well, the only difference is you should delete or edit comments from anyone who takes it seriously. And you can sell all the names you collect from the sincere to beastiality websites mailing lists
http://www.thankyoupresidentgeorgewbush.com/id11.html
It’s a shame none of these media pigs has the guts to ask him a real question, like how does a greedy, mean-spirited, me first and fuck everybody else piece of shit like you manage to get out of bed every day? Is it the weekly baths in the blood of 20 virgins? The blowjobs from Larry Craig? Watching DVD’s of your lesbo daughter getting drilled by Jenna Haze with a strapon? Or all of the above?
AxmxZ: Do you figure Dick’s SS contingent is stronger than Sarah Palin’s daughter’s possible husband’s drug dealing mother?
Bruno: I think more fitting would be giving their names, via anonymous concerned-citizen tip, of course, to Homeland Security as known plotters against the US Gov’t. Hellllloooo, Gitmo.
Sometimes you must turn a blind eye to the opinion of others. Especially if the reason the eye’s blind is that someone poked it out with a sharp stick. It’s all fun and games and empire building and torture until someone loses an eye. Whatevs.
Do vice-presidents get Secret Service protection for life like the president?
Please say no.
I just want to punch his punk ass in the eye!
shanemcgowan: Huh, interesting. See, that actually sounds nothing at all like a Wonkette poster. So now I’m trying to figure out if you are being sarcastic.
I’m a Wyoming boy, born and raised, and still live in the weird little state. Cheney still is tremendously popular here, much to Wyoming’s discredit. I realize I am out of touch with my state, but it makes me feel better to realize Wyoming is out of touch with the rest of the country.
After office, I wish he would move somewhere no one likes him, like San Francisco, or France, or Fallujah.
@nutcracker, I think his lesbo daughter is the driller and not the drillee, just a point of contention.
Worst. President. Ever.
this from the same guy who actually shot someone in the face.
I’m not saying anything bad about Dick until he is officially out of office. He can see more than Santa.
hockeymom: I don’t actually know any devil worshippers but I bet they hate Cheney too. I mean the translation for Satan(in Hebrew) is the Accuser- so I think he would have something with which to accuse Cheney
At this point, I say screw the ministrations of the court and sic the Furies on him. I want him driven mad by the constant whisperings of her own crimes until he takes his own life.
Q: What role did your office play in the Park Service’s decision to keep the east entrance of Yellowstone National Park open in winter?
A: Is that still a park?
You know, I don’t have any idea why everyone hates my guts either.
Dear Mr. Vice President:
The reasons we have for disliking you will not necessarily be illuminated in the polls. The pools reflect the number of people who hate you. The actual reason can be discerned by mingling with actual human beings who reside in your country. Not that I blame you for avoiding that.
In defense of Cheney, in the part of Wyoming he is from, decapitating an innocent child so you can suck their still beating heart out their neck is not shunned.
Personally, my favorite part of the interview was Cheney’s opening statement:
Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
And I was ’round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around St. Petersberg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general’s rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
What’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
Of course, that was followed by Cheney yelling at the reporters for five minutes “What’s my name, bitch!”
Each of us has, or is a bit of an asshole.
Dick Cheney makes me suspect I am living in someone’s badly written comic book. For one thing, no one that evil should truly look THAT evil.
He’s so vile, I just shiver, wordless.
What the fuck else is he going to say? “Golly, maybe it’s because I’m a revenge fantasizing psycopath responsible for the deaths of thousands?”
There’s really only one thing that Cheney is good at or knows how to do. Kill the clock. Pretending he didn’t hear the question, or that the question has no merit, is all part of his grand act, which is to leave office without ever having copped to anything actionable. Mission Accomplished.
Bruno: Thanks for posting that link.
We should ALL post a line or two about how much we appreciate G. Walker Bush and his puppetmaster fucking up the world.
Post early and post often, Wonketeers!!
http://www.thankyoupresidentgeorgewbush.com/id11.html
You have no idea? OK, let me give you a hint. You are the anti-christ. You are excrement. You are the human holocaust. Now do you have an idea? Let me know!!
Cheney has guts?!?
He’s on my wish list as “Person I most wish would suffer ruptured testicles.” That would give him some perspective on his affection for torture. It’s all great fun until it happens to you.
RobPetrified: You might have missed it, but they implemented a ‘review’ policy on the ThankU W website. So, you can’t sneak much obvious through - the less obvious like Linda Sucksalot might make it through.
Everybody hates you because you’re a Dick. Clear?
MarieDeGournay: Yes, a haunting for the rest of his short life by the Eumenides is an excellent idea. Classic, one could say.
In the new apocalyptic 2.0 ver. AmericaHoboJungle 2009, we will not hate Dick Cheney’s guts. They will be the ultimate delicacy, served with a nice Chianti.
Dick was really into Bush. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t see clearly.
Dick’s dick has a dick, and his dick’s dick is bigger than your dick: http://www.poormojo.org/pmjadaily/archives/017136.php.
MarieDeGournay: Are furries particularly vicious? They seem so cuddly. Creepy, but cuddly.
Bruno: His favorite thing about his SS squad is the cool rank titles and the lightning-bolt/runic SS flashes on the collars of the black uniforms. Also, the torture.