gop in the news

Nobody Wants To See Gay Larry Craig’s Gay Airport Bathroom Now

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Larry Craig is a terrible closeted homosexual and right-wing Idaho “Super Tuber” who was also a loathsome crooked senator who would basically do whatever the land rapists asked, as long as he could keep up the bathroom ass-fucking/sucking. He was America’s Greatest Hero and the symbol of the Republican Party. But now nobody wants to see the tawdry public toilet at the Minneapolis airport where he was last caught plying his particular rough trade.

The men’s room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport where Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested in a sex sting is losing it appeal as a tourist stop, an official said.

The good news, if you are the kind of liberal prude who hates to find an old closeted-gay Republican senator sucking off a cop in a public restroom at the airport, is that the notoriety of this once-beloved GOP “cruisy toilet” has actually killed the cruisy-toilet vibe that made this out-of-the-way men’s room such a haven for closeted-gay Republican politicians “making a connection” in Minneapolis.

Larry Craig is still married, to some woman! Now that he’s back from his swinging life in Washington, where he’s been fucking and sucking for three decades, will he even live in the same house as his alleged wife?

Sen. Craig restroom tanking as tourist destination [AP-Yahoo]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • maf54

    Larry can come stay with me any time!

  • Delicious

    I thought they had razed the entire airport so America would not have to be reminded of this national tragedy.

    Oh well. Cruisy Cruisy

  • maf54

    [re=206043]maf54[/re]: *cum

  • ManchuCandidate

    The folks i feel sorry for are those at the Concessions selling “Cream Filled” foot long hot dogs and Super Tubers who will lose their jobs.

    Note to Minn/St Paul. If that’s one of your major tourist attractions you have then you might need some work to do. How about a tour of collapsing bridges?

  • bc

    Is there anybody in the gop that isn’t in the closet or a pedophile?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …he could always get a mobile home! And by “mobile home” I mean “Porta-Potty”!

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=206048]bc[/re]: I think George Bush is just an alcoholic with delusions of grandeur. And Dick Chene…well, I don’t really want to speculate on what turns him on.

  • Warren Terror

    How can they tell it’s losing its appeal? Is attendance up at the other tourist attraction in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=206048]bc[/re]: …of course there are, but the ones that are left are into female strap-on fetishes! Which “technically” doesn’t make you “gay”.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=206053]Doglessliberal[/re]: …I think what turns Dick Cheney on falls under the fetish sub category of “Bestiality Scat Snuff films”. Its actually a very popular genre for the evil undead!

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206048]bc[/re]: No

  • Mild Midwesterner

    I think we should get off Craig (pun so very intended). After all, he’s pretty much the only Republican cruising for consenting adults.

  • RogueDC

    [re=206055]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That’s what they all say, it’s “technically” heterosexual. So is getting it from a she-male with a real penis, at least that’s what Tucker Carlson’s been saying for years.

  • shanemcgowan

    Maybe Al Franken can earmark a couple hundred dollars for one of those signs that mark the location of important historical events.

  • rmontcal

    “plying”? Is that a toilet paper pun?

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The Minnesota tourist industry can’t afford to loose any of our winter time “attractions”. The LC Memorial Stall was perfect due to its location and the fact that you didn’t need to worry about your camera freezing. We’ll need something to replace this monument to GOP hypocrisy. What’s Vitter up to these days?

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=206043]maf54[/re]: Thanks!

  • vespula maculata

    I was on my way to a Rapid City funeral in October when we changed planes in Minneapolis, so there wasn’t time and mood to visit it, but I would have loved to. Wide Stance, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. Keep fighting those slanderous accusations, babe; you’re our comic savior in the new depression.

  • 2druk2phluq

    [re=206056]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Don’t forget the man sized safe. Now it makes sense. I wonder if Craig has been in there…

  • Bruno

    I always wondered who bought the condoms in airport bathrooms, especially when large variety multi-packs of are available in the airport pharmacy. Now, we have our answer.

  • AliBabaInBA

    After viewing those mug shots for the nth time, I can now state, with near certainty, that Larry’s wearing black leather chaps … no bottom, of course.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206061]shanemcgowan[/re]: Where does that election stand? That and Bristol’s baby are all I am waiting for this year.

  • freerangemink

    [re=206054]Warren Terror[/re]: I guess SOMEONE hasn’t ridden the Paul Bunyan Log Chute (flume) at Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America. Only one death and that was ten years ago!

  • Servo

    Larry Craig: “My Mama told me they was ma Magic Tappin’ shoes. She sed they’d take me anywhere.”

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    It’s understandable. Catching The Gay from someone is traumatic enough without it being Larry Craig’s Gay.

  • bitchincamaro

    “I think we’ll all be glad when there’s no special interest in that restroom.”

    That’s right. Keep the lobbyists out, too.

  • Riotting

    I still stop by there if i have a chance. I usually get a lay over there when I’m going between Spokane, WA and Washington, DC

  • Bruno

    We need an update from Larry Craig’s office explaining what he’s doing to “Get the Gay Out”. I’m sure there are facinating seminars and preachers involved.

    Did he ever issue a public apology with wife in tow, akin to Spitzer and Little Britian?

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Warning! Not for people who are squeamish about potato abuse.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206088]Riotting[/re]: Spokane- I remember when the big news was the Imax theater and then PF Changs. Have the libraries gotten decent hours yet? I did like the big old hotel downtown-and the motels turned into offices

  • Darehead

    Well, if they want it to be a tourist attraction, why doesn’t anybody say which concourse, which gate etc.? I asked before and no one knew. Of course I didn’t ask anyone with a penis. Not that I have one, or you need one, right, just to have your picture taken on the outside to say you were there, like Statue of Liberty, Golden Gate etc.?

    Does anyone know where it is?

  • WadISay

    Interest in visiting this shrine has fallen off since the Republican convention left town.

  • Miller

    The hits to the economy just keep on coming. Norm Coleman better suck off a goat at a marina pretty fast or Minnesota’s tourism industry is going to collapse.

  • Mr Blifil

    Losing it’s appeal as a tourist stop? Hard to compete with the Elk Fucking Stations posted all around the city.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=206095]Darehead[/re]: well, this might narrow it a bit (and nice use of “withered” there, AP)

    “Though tourist interest has withered, the surge of publicity from Craig’s arrest helped end the type of activity in the restroom that had prompted lewd-conduct complaints, he said.

    Plans to modify the restroom to prevent occupants from passing signals were scrapped because complaints dropped.

    ‘It is the busiest restroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International,’ Hogan told The Spokesman-Review. ‘It’s right in the middle of our main thoroughfare.'”

  • WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot

    Hey well at least he’s wearing his fucking flag pin, you guys… That means he CARES about our COUNTRY… (and maybe also annonymous glory hole sex in an airport restroom).

  • WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot

    UGG. *anonymous

  • cal

    That cop was cute. Who can blame Larry?

  • Bruno

    Buttsecks or not, you can tell he’s a real american by his lapel pin.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206104]WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot[/re]: And I think Americans pay more for it

  • nmmagayar

    [re=206107]cal[/re]: I’m right there with you. But I already have a cop fetish

  • Min

    What it needs is scary rides. You know how the kids love scary rides.

  • shanemcgowan

    No word on Bristol’s baby.

  • Servo

    Bumper Boats…Ty-D-Bowl style.

  • V572625694

    [re=206083]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I thought I was coming down w/teh Gay one time, but listened to four Celine Dion CDs in a row and got right over it.

  • WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot

    [re=206111]finallyhappy[/re]: Wait – we pay more for the flag pin, or pay more for Larry Craig to have buttsex… Or both?

  • V572625694

    Just went and looked at that Super Tuber recipe: a baked potato reamed out so you can put a hot dog inside it, then microwaved for four minutes. My God, who would eat such a thing?

    Why do states with the most beautiful scenery and smallest populations to mess it up (e.g. Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Alaska) have such terrible people living there?

  • Darehead

    [re=206103]Doglessliberal[/re]: Tanks. I thought when it happened though, one of the things that really looked suspicious was that he had gone to a restroom really far away from his gate. Hmmm. MSP is so dang big, still can’t picture it.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206125]WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot[/re]: I think Americans pay more for the buttsex. I’ve seen flag pins for $.50.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=206126]V572625694[/re]: You forgot Canada.

  • actor212

    So you’re saying, give it another six months and I can set up shop again in stall #3?

  • WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot

    [re=206131]finallyhappy[/re]: Dude- I can get you American flag pins for like 15 cents each… oh right, but their made in China. JACKPOT!

  • FreshCliches

    This is easy. Book David Phillips for the Grand Reopening (there’s a pun there somewhere) of the “I da ho? No, U!” Memorial Stall. Bring in Ed Asner and Mary Tyler Moore to re-create the “You got spunk…I HATE spunk!” (it works on so many levels!) scene from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

    Twenty years from now, “C-SPAN Land” and the MSP airport can jointly commission a statue of Senator Craig.

    Problem solved.

  • assistant/atlas

    The only bad thing about the election is that it will leave David Vitter as the only (known) member of the GOP Public Sexytime Caucus. Sigh.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206142]assistant/atlas[/re]: He doesn’t count – it was with women- not even underage- and he paid for it- just helping the economy. Is his big mouth wife still standin’ by him?

  • actor212

    [re=206144]finallyhappy[/re]: Like a bass on the wall, Finally.

  • V572625694

    [re=206132]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thought Canadians were okay, for the most part: world-wide peacekeepers, national health insurance, Neil Young, the early Lorne Michaels, Mordecai Richler, Leonard Cohen. This tip the balance against Celine Dion.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=206116]Min[/re]: Clearly, this isn’t an attraction for the kids anyway. What they need is some wax-museum quality life size dummies of Craig and the cop in flagrante delicto even though the act never actually took place (as far as I know). Cordon the stall off with a red velvet stanchion and otherwise leave the place a functioning restroom.

    Get Mme. Tussaud on the job and save this Minnesota tourist attraction!

  • FreshCliches

    It looks like Peter Yarrow has finally chimed in on this.

    That’s all well and good, but I ask:

    Where the fuck was Paul Stookey when every lame wedding singer in the 70s butchered his song?

    Screw it. I’m going to pop in A Mighty Wind.

  • Tomthebunny

    [re=206088]Riotting[/re]: Gotta watch your sentence structure and word use there- there’s a huge difference between “lay over there” and “layover there.” Or was that intentional?

  • Servo

    Because their ancestors got kicked to the curb on the Oregon Trail.

  • WadISay

    [re=206148]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: This is all about marketing. This pissoir should be marketed as a Republican shrine, where you either (a) touch the door and are cured of heterosexuality, or (b) hang by your knees Blarney Stone style and kiss the bottom of the stall divider, to make you prodigously mendacious.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=206148]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: No need to go that far. Just add sound.

  • FreshCliches

    [re=206151]FreshCliches[/re]: Where ARE you? What the fuck is wrong with you?

    Carry on, everyone.

  • FreshCliches

    Meanwhile, I propose a solution:

    Book David Phillips to make an appearance at the Grand Reopening (there’s a pun in there somewhere) of the Stall Of Fame; while we’re at it, book Ed Asner and Mary Tyler Moore, and they can reenact the “You got spunk…I HATE spunk!” (it works on so many levels!) scene from her eponymous show.

    Problem solved.

  • DeLand DeLakes

    Puh-lease. Everyone knows the new (summertime) cruising ground is the banks of the Mississippi, underneath the Franklin Avenue bridge. That’s where we had our vigil for Larry Craig during the RNC last September. (If you’ve never read the transcripts of the Super Tuber’s interrogation by that cop, do; you will asphyxiate laughing.)

  • Riotting

    [re=206093]finallyhappy[/re]: Although the PF Changs and IMax are still hopping, they aren’t the news. There is no news. As for libraries, I use Gonzaga’s, and it has decent hours. I enjoy it, but not as much as DC

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Larry fell in his unending effort to bring back Crystal Pepsi.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Craig, who said he was considering another appeal…
    Ah, stupid persistence — the gift that keeps on giving.

  • The Church of Realism

    [re=206081]freerangemink[/re]: Paul Bunyon Log Chute? I tell ya, this gay stuff writes itself, seriously…Log Chute, hahaha. Gay Loggers for Larry Craig.

  • sadderbutnowiser

    [re=206063]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: What is with “loosing” for losing these days? Damn — first it’s reigning cats, dogs and missiles and now we’re worried about loosing things. Christ, has all this attention paid to Bible Spice led to a horrible disease?

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206178]sadderbutnowiser[/re]: I’m thinking buttsecks does make a certain place looser.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=206174]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I love that part–way to keep this story in the news, Larry!

  • Kev-O-Tron

    God – It’s like the freaking series of tubes took the day off. No new blog posts ANYWHERES?!?!

  • tonehedge

    In the photo above, I see he’s wearing a fuckin flag pin.
    How patriotic.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: It’s my birthday, so everyone has the day off. At least everyone who has the SayItWithWookies desk calendar.

  • HuskyMescan

    Everything would have been fine if the Airport maintenance crew didn’t spackle up the gloryholes on the stalls.

  • HuskyMescan

    [re=206182]tonehedge[/re]: His prince albert has a flag on it to. It’s more the for the pleasure though.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206183]SayItWithWookies[/re]: AnnieGetYourFun tells me you live in Richmond. I’m flying into Richmond on January 16 to hang with some friends before cruising up to DC. Wanna grab a beer?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @Kev-O-Tron: The blog fad has run its course. No more blogs in 2009. Come join me in the future of interactive internet entertainment: Second Life!

    Wait…what? Second Life peaked in 2006? Well, fuck. Now what am I supposed to do? Go outside ? The police keep demanding I put on pants when I do that, dammit!

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206183]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Happy Birthday, by the way. don’t drink toomush.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206188]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Yes, I hear Michelle Malkin is back to ranting on corners in busy shopping districts now that this whole blogging thing jumped the shark. And please don’t put pants on – they’re overrated.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=206189]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Thanks — and I haven’t drunk too much yet, though not for lack of trying. And getting together for a beer would be cool. You has my facebook?

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’ll ask Andrea to fix us up. You’re funny – I look forward to meeting you. Annie, Iwillsavethispatient and I rendezvoused for the election night and it was drunken mayhem. I think the highlight was getting verbally destroyed by my very, very angry (now ex) girlfriend in front of total strangers. It was awesome.

  • facehead

    Well, I guess Disneyland will have to go back to being the Disneyland of gayness.

  • Merry Christen

    [re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I know, what the FUCK? Where’s all the NEWS and JUICY TIDBITS?
    What the hell else am I supposed to while sitting in my office? Work? Yeah, right, as if… so I’m Googling Bristle Palin’s “baby” and trying to buy drugs via text message… BOOOOORRINGGGGG

  • facehead

    [re=206193]Kev-O-Tron[/re], [re=206191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Has Wonkette already replaced Airport Bathrooms?

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I come here to shirk work; with our eds asleep, what to do?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I’m trying to remember how I got through the work day before the internet. Masturbation in my cubicle, maybe?

  • chascates

    [re=206195]Merry Christen[/re]: Did Bristol ever drop that kid? Or is she trying to hold onto till 2012 to help Mom out?

  • finallyhappy

    [re=206207]chascates[/re]: NO- we discussed this earlier today- Gosh, keep up folks! NO baby yet. I do have the email address of a reporter at the Wasilla paper who wrote about Levi’s mom- so I am
    thinking of writing to him and asking if he has seen Bristol carrying an internal watermelon or not.

  • FreshCliches

    [re=206193]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: YouTube was made for moments like that. Any chance it was recorded?

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    The Mall of America is where straight people go to suck the product dong. And by product dong I mean anodized, polished vanadium steel socket wrenches.

  • donner_froh

    [re=206055]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: of course there are, but the ones that are left are into female strap-on fetishes! Which “technically” doesn’t make you “gay”.

    Well, surely THAT doesn’t make you gay. Not that I ever tried it or anything…

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    Jesus Harold Christ III esq.! If we could only figure a way to harness the comedy energy generated by the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, I bet we could turn a mill wheel or power the wheels of a(n) horseless cart.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206238]FreshCliches[/re]: Only in my mind… Yeah, she was really great about arguing in private. Private places like grocery stores, bars, restaurants, city streets…. What a keeper.

  • wickedlittledoll

    What kind of example are we setting for our impressionable youth?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=206263]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: You know what they say about the crazy ones — it’s all fun, games and wild sex until somebody’s bunny gets boiled.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=206319]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m being a little unfair. She is a nice person and there’s no hard feelings. I was shit.faced. and probably deserving of a little scorn (albeit poorly timed).

    Regarding the crazy ones: I went on a date once and the next day I was inundated with text messages about how she was terminally ill but I shouldn’t tell anyone because she wanted to die in peace. Jebus. My fucking life is so great.

  • getoffmylawn

    The Minnesota state lottery has a concession stand just to the left (or maybe it’s just to the right) of the place – which last time I looked, had a statue of Snoopy pointing right to its entrance. Anyway, buy a lottery ticket and visit the stall, get lucky in multiple places? When done, it’s a short walk to the food court where you could get a foot long and drink a milk shake.

  • populucious

    Well there go the Travel Industry’s plan to bail itself out with package tours of our nation’s most sordid bathroom stalls.

  • Kotter

    I went to Minneapolis International about a year before anything involving Sen. Craig transpired, and may have actually used his bathroom stall. *shiver*

  • tocute2btrue

    Queers are the by product of Liberals having Sex.

  • CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    [re=206088]Riotting[/re]: by “get a lay over there” do you mean “get a layover there” or “get a lay… over there– as in Craig’s Stall”?

  • DangerousLiberal

    Update: I was there last week. The handicapped stall was barricaded and wrapped in what looked like Police Tape. I told my wife I’d give her five bucks to ask a TSA screener where the shrine is. She asked a Northwest flight attendant instead, who, in true NWA style, looked appalled that we’d asked her to think. Then, a TSA person walked right up to us and pointed it out. Who says that the private sector services us (heh heh) better than public employees? Rock on, TSA.