GOP IN THE NEWS  9:29 am December 29, 2008

Nobody Wants To See Gay Larry Craig’s Gay Airport Bathroom Now

by Ken Layne

Larry Craig is a terrible closeted homosexual and right-wing Idaho “Super Tuber” who was also a loathsome crooked senator who would basically do whatever the land rapists asked, as long as he could keep up the bathroom ass-fucking/sucking. He was America’s Greatest Hero and the symbol of the Republican Party. But now nobody wants to see the tawdry public toilet at the Minneapolis airport where he was last caught plying his particular rough trade.

The men’s room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport where Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested in a sex sting is losing it appeal as a tourist stop, an official said.

The good news, if you are the kind of liberal prude who hates to find an old closeted-gay Republican senator sucking off a cop in a public restroom at the airport, is that the notoriety of this once-beloved GOP “cruisy toilet” has actually killed the cruisy-toilet vibe that made this out-of-the-way men’s room such a haven for closeted-gay Republican politicians “making a connection” in Minneapolis.

Larry Craig is still married, to some woman! Now that he’s back from his swinging life in Washington, where he’s been fucking and sucking for three decades, will he even live in the same house as his alleged wife?

Sen. Craig restroom tanking as tourist destination [AP-Yahoo]

 
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{ 105 comments }

maf54 December 29, 2008 at 9:36 am

Larry can come stay with me any time!

Delicious December 29, 2008 at 9:38 am

I thought they had razed the entire airport so America would not have to be reminded of this national tragedy.

Oh well. Cruisy Cruisy

maf54 December 29, 2008 at 9:38 am

[re=206043]maf54[/re]: *cum

ManchuCandidate December 29, 2008 at 9:38 am

The folks i feel sorry for are those at the Concessions selling “Cream Filled” foot long hot dogs and Super Tubers who will lose their jobs.

Note to Minn/St Paul. If that’s one of your major tourist attractions you have then you might need some work to do. How about a tour of collapsing bridges?

bc December 29, 2008 at 9:40 am

Is there anybody in the gop that isn’t in the closet or a pedophile?

AngryBlakGuy December 29, 2008 at 9:41 am

…he could always get a mobile home! And by “mobile home” I mean “Porta-Potty”!

Doglessliberal December 29, 2008 at 9:43 am

[re=206048]bc[/re]: I think George Bush is just an alcoholic with delusions of grandeur. And Dick Chene…well, I don’t really want to speculate on what turns him on.

Warren Terror December 29, 2008 at 9:45 am

How can they tell it’s losing its appeal? Is attendance up at the other tourist attraction in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area?

AngryBlakGuy December 29, 2008 at 9:45 am

[re=206048]bc[/re]: …of course there are, but the ones that are left are into female strap-on fetishes! Which “technically” doesn’t make you “gay”.

AngryBlakGuy December 29, 2008 at 9:48 am

[re=206053]Doglessliberal[/re]: …I think what turns Dick Cheney on falls under the fetish sub category of “Bestiality Scat Snuff films”. Its actually a very popular genre for the evil undead!

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 9:49 am

[re=206048]bc[/re]: No

Mild Midwesterner December 29, 2008 at 9:53 am

I think we should get off Craig (pun so very intended). After all, he’s pretty much the only Republican cruising for consenting adults.

RogueDC December 29, 2008 at 9:53 am

[re=206055]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That’s what they all say, it’s “technically” heterosexual. So is getting it from a she-male with a real penis, at least that’s what Tucker Carlson’s been saying for years.

shanemcgowan December 29, 2008 at 9:53 am

Maybe Al Franken can earmark a couple hundred dollars for one of those signs that mark the location of important historical events.

rmontcal December 29, 2008 at 9:54 am

“plying”? Is that a toilet paper pun?

Monsieur Grumpe December 29, 2008 at 9:56 am

The Minnesota tourist industry can’t afford to loose any of our winter time “attractions”. The LC Memorial Stall was perfect due to its location and the fact that you didn’t need to worry about your camera freezing. We’ll need something to replace this monument to GOP hypocrisy. What’s Vitter up to these days?

Larry McAwful December 29, 2008 at 10:05 am

[re=206043]maf54[/re]: Thanks!

vespula maculata December 29, 2008 at 10:06 am

I was on my way to a Rapid City funeral in October when we changed planes in Minneapolis, so there wasn’t time and mood to visit it, but I would have loved to. Wide Stance, you’re the gift that keeps on giving. Keep fighting those slanderous accusations, babe; you’re our comic savior in the new depression.

2druk2phluq December 29, 2008 at 10:09 am

[re=206056]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Don’t forget the man sized safe. Now it makes sense. I wonder if Craig has been in there…

Bruno December 29, 2008 at 10:17 am

I always wondered who bought the condoms in airport bathrooms, especially when large variety multi-packs of are available in the airport pharmacy. Now, we have our answer.

AliBabaInBA December 29, 2008 at 10:18 am

After viewing those mug shots for the nth time, I can now state, with near certainty, that Larry’s wearing black leather chaps … no bottom, of course.

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 10:19 am

[re=206061]shanemcgowan[/re]: Where does that election stand? That and Bristol’s baby are all I am waiting for this year.

freerangemink December 29, 2008 at 10:27 am

[re=206054]Warren Terror[/re]: I guess SOMEONE hasn’t ridden the Paul Bunyan Log Chute (flume) at Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America. Only one death and that was ten years ago!

Servo December 29, 2008 at 10:28 am

Larry Craig: “My Mama told me they was ma Magic Tappin’ shoes. She sed they’d take me anywhere.”

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 29, 2008 at 10:29 am

It’s understandable. Catching The Gay from someone is traumatic enough without it being Larry Craig’s Gay.

bitchincamaro December 29, 2008 at 10:29 am

“I think we’ll all be glad when there’s no special interest in that restroom.”

That’s right. Keep the lobbyists out, too.

Riotting December 29, 2008 at 10:41 am

I still stop by there if i have a chance. I usually get a lay over there when I’m going between Spokane, WA and Washington, DC

Bruno December 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

We need an update from Larry Craig’s office explaining what he’s doing to “Get the Gay Out”. I’m sure there are facinating seminars and preachers involved.

Did he ever issue a public apology with wife in tow, akin to Spitzer and Little Britian?

Monsieur Grumpe December 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

Warning! Not for people who are squeamish about potato abuse.
http://foodgoat.blogspot.com/2007/08/idaho-udaho-actually-its-senator.html

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 10:49 am

[re=206088]Riotting[/re]: Spokane- I remember when the big news was the Imax theater and then PF Changs. Have the libraries gotten decent hours yet? I did like the big old hotel downtown-and the motels turned into offices

Darehead December 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

Well, if they want it to be a tourist attraction, why doesn’t anybody say which concourse, which gate etc.? I asked before and no one knew. Of course I didn’t ask anyone with a penis. Not that I have one, or you need one, right, just to have your picture taken on the outside to say you were there, like Statue of Liberty, Golden Gate etc.?

Does anyone know where it is?

WadISay December 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

Interest in visiting this shrine has fallen off since the Republican convention left town.

Miller December 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

The hits to the economy just keep on coming. Norm Coleman better suck off a goat at a marina pretty fast or Minnesota’s tourism industry is going to collapse.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Mr Blifil December 29, 2008 at 11:02 am

Losing it’s appeal as a tourist stop? Hard to compete with the Elk Fucking Stations posted all around the city.

Doglessliberal December 29, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=206095]Darehead[/re]: well, this might narrow it a bit (and nice use of “withered” there, AP)

“Though tourist interest has withered, the surge of publicity from Craig’s arrest helped end the type of activity in the restroom that had prompted lewd-conduct complaints, he said.

Plans to modify the restroom to prevent occupants from passing signals were scrapped because complaints dropped.

‘It is the busiest restroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International,’ Hogan told The Spokesman-Review. ‘It’s right in the middle of our main thoroughfare.’”

WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot December 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

Hey well at least he’s wearing his fucking flag pin, you guys… That means he CARES about our COUNTRY… (and maybe also annonymous glory hole sex in an airport restroom).

WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot December 29, 2008 at 11:14 am

UGG. *anonymous

cal December 29, 2008 at 11:16 am

That cop was cute. Who can blame Larry?

Bruno December 29, 2008 at 11:16 am

Buttsecks or not, you can tell he’s a real american by his lapel pin.

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

[re=206104]WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot[/re]: And I think Americans pay more for it

nmmagayar December 29, 2008 at 11:30 am

[re=206107]cal[/re]: I’m right there with you. But I already have a cop fetish

Min December 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

What it needs is scary rides. You know how the kids love scary rides.

shanemcgowan December 29, 2008 at 11:39 am

[re=206077]finallyhappy[/re]: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/12/29/deadline_friday/?refid=0
No word on Bristol’s baby.

Servo December 29, 2008 at 11:48 am

[re=206116]Min[/re]:
Bumper Boats…Ty-D-Bowl style.

V572625694 December 29, 2008 at 11:49 am

[re=206083]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I thought I was coming down w/teh Gay one time, but listened to four Celine Dion CDs in a row and got right over it.

WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot December 29, 2008 at 11:50 am

[re=206111]finallyhappy[/re]: Wait – we pay more for the flag pin, or pay more for Larry Craig to have buttsex… Or both?

V572625694 December 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

Just went and looked at that Super Tuber recipe: a baked potato reamed out so you can put a hot dog inside it, then microwaved for four minutes. My God, who would eat such a thing?

Why do states with the most beautiful scenery and smallest populations to mess it up (e.g. Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Alaska) have such terrible people living there?

Darehead December 29, 2008 at 11:59 am

[re=206103]Doglessliberal[/re]: Tanks. I thought when it happened though, one of the things that really looked suspicious was that he had gone to a restroom really far away from his gate. Hmmm. MSP is so dang big, still can’t picture it.

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 12:01 pm

[re=206125]WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot[/re]: I think Americans pay more for the buttsex. I’ve seen flag pins for $.50.

AnnieGetYourFun December 29, 2008 at 12:01 pm

[re=206126]V572625694[/re]: You forgot Canada.

actor212 December 29, 2008 at 12:05 pm

So you’re saying, give it another six months and I can set up shop again in stall #3?

WalnutsIsMyCo-Pilot December 29, 2008 at 12:11 pm

[re=206131]finallyhappy[/re]: Dude- I can get you American flag pins for like 15 cents each… oh right, but their made in China. JACKPOT!

FreshCliches December 29, 2008 at 12:15 pm

This is easy. Book David Phillips for the Grand Reopening (there’s a pun there somewhere) of the “I da ho? No, U!” Memorial Stall. Bring in Ed Asner and Mary Tyler Moore to re-create the “You got spunk…I HATE spunk!” (it works on so many levels!) scene from the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Twenty years from now, “C-SPAN Land” and the MSP airport can jointly commission a statue of Senator Craig.

Problem solved.

assistant/atlas December 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

The only bad thing about the election is that it will leave David Vitter as the only (known) member of the GOP Public Sexytime Caucus. Sigh.

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 12:24 pm

[re=206142]assistant/atlas[/re]: He doesn’t count – it was with women- not even underage- and he paid for it- just helping the economy. Is his big mouth wife still standin’ by him?

actor212 December 29, 2008 at 12:30 pm

[re=206144]finallyhappy[/re]: Like a bass on the wall, Finally.

V572625694 December 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=206132]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thought Canadians were okay, for the most part: world-wide peacekeepers, national health insurance, Neil Young, the early Lorne Michaels, Mordecai Richler, Leonard Cohen. This tip the balance against Celine Dion.

Lascauxcaveman December 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=206116]Min[/re]: Clearly, this isn’t an attraction for the kids anyway. What they need is some wax-museum quality life size dummies of Craig and the cop in flagrante delicto even though the act never actually took place (as far as I know). Cordon the stall off with a red velvet stanchion and otherwise leave the place a functioning restroom.

Get Mme. Tussaud on the job and save this Minnesota tourist attraction!

FreshCliches December 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm

It looks like Peter Yarrow has finally chimed in on this.

That’s all well and good, but I ask:

Where the fuck was Paul Stookey when every lame wedding singer in the 70s butchered his song?

Screw it. I’m going to pop in A Mighty Wind.

Tomthebunny December 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm

[re=206088]Riotting[/re]: Gotta watch your sentence structure and word use there- there’s a huge difference between “lay over there” and “layover there.” Or was that intentional?

Servo December 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

[re=206126]V572625694[/re]:
Because their ancestors got kicked to the curb on the Oregon Trail.

WadISay December 29, 2008 at 12:53 pm

[re=206148]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: This is all about marketing. This pissoir should be marketed as a Republican shrine, where you either (a) touch the door and are cured of heterosexuality, or (b) hang by your knees Blarney Stone style and kiss the bottom of the stall divider, to make you prodigously mendacious.

S.Luggo December 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=206148]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: No need to go that far. Just add sound.

FreshCliches December 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=206151]FreshCliches[/re]: Where ARE you? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Carry on, everyone.

FreshCliches December 29, 2008 at 1:02 pm

Meanwhile, I propose a solution:

Book David Phillips to make an appearance at the Grand Reopening (there’s a pun in there somewhere) of the Stall Of Fame; while we’re at it, book Ed Asner and Mary Tyler Moore, and they can reenact the “You got spunk…I HATE spunk!” (it works on so many levels!) scene from her eponymous show.

Problem solved.

DeLand DeLakes December 29, 2008 at 1:18 pm

Puh-lease. Everyone knows the new (summertime) cruising ground is the banks of the Mississippi, underneath the Franklin Avenue bridge. That’s where we had our vigil for Larry Craig during the RNC last September. (If you’ve never read the transcripts of the Super Tuber’s interrogation by that cop, do; you will asphyxiate laughing.)

Riotting December 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm

[re=206093]finallyhappy[/re]: Although the PF Changs and IMax are still hopping, they aren’t the news. There is no news. As for libraries, I use Gonzaga’s, and it has decent hours. I enjoy it, but not as much as DC

shortsshortsshorts December 29, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Larry fell in his unending effort to bring back Crystal Pepsi.

SayItWithWookies December 29, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Craig, who said he was considering another appeal…
Ah, stupid persistence — the gift that keeps on giving.

The Church of Realism December 29, 2008 at 2:00 pm

[re=206081]freerangemink[/re]: Paul Bunyon Log Chute? I tell ya, this gay stuff writes itself, seriously…Log Chute, hahaha. Gay Loggers for Larry Craig.

sadderbutnowiser December 29, 2008 at 2:06 pm

[re=206063]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: What is with “loosing” for losing these days? Damn — first it’s reigning cats, dogs and missiles and now we’re worried about loosing things. Christ, has all this attention paid to Bible Spice led to a horrible disease?

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 2:09 pm

[re=206178]sadderbutnowiser[/re]: I’m thinking buttsecks does make a certain place looser.

Doglessliberal December 29, 2008 at 2:10 pm

[re=206174]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I love that part–way to keep this story in the news, Larry!

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 2:10 pm

God – It’s like the freaking series of tubes took the day off. No new blog posts ANYWHERES?!?!

tonehedge December 29, 2008 at 2:11 pm

In the photo above, I see he’s wearing a fuckin flag pin.
How patriotic.

SayItWithWookies December 29, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: It’s my birthday, so everyone has the day off. At least everyone who has the SayItWithWookies desk calendar.

HuskyMescan December 29, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Everything would have been fine if the Airport maintenance crew didn’t spackle up the gloryholes on the stalls.

HuskyMescan December 29, 2008 at 2:22 pm

[re=206182]tonehedge[/re]: His prince albert has a flag on it to. It’s more the for the pleasure though.

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=206183]SayItWithWookies[/re]: AnnieGetYourFun tells me you live in Richmond. I’m flying into Richmond on January 16 to hang with some friends before cruising up to DC. Wanna grab a beer?

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 29, 2008 at 2:25 pm

@Kev-O-Tron: The blog fad has run its course. No more blogs in 2009. Come join me in the future of interactive internet entertainment: Second Life!

Wait…what? Second Life peaked in 2006? Well, fuck. Now what am I supposed to do? Go outside ? The police keep demanding I put on pants when I do that, dammit!

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 2:25 pm

[re=206183]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Happy Birthday, by the way. don’t drink toomush.

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 2:28 pm

[re=206188]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Yes, I hear Michelle Malkin is back to ranting on corners in busy shopping districts now that this whole blogging thing jumped the shark. And please don’t put pants on – they’re overrated.

SayItWithWookies December 29, 2008 at 2:29 pm

[re=206189]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: Thanks — and I haven’t drunk too much yet, though not for lack of trying. And getting together for a beer would be cool. You has my facebook?

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=206191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’ll ask Andrea to fix us up. You’re funny – I look forward to meeting you. Annie, Iwillsavethispatient and I rendezvoused for the election night and it was drunken mayhem. I think the highlight was getting verbally destroyed by my very, very angry (now ex) girlfriend in front of total strangers. It was awesome.

facehead December 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Well, I guess Disneyland will have to go back to being the Disneyland of gayness.

Merry Christen December 29, 2008 at 2:37 pm

[re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I know, what the FUCK? Where’s all the NEWS and JUICY TIDBITS?
What the hell else am I supposed to while sitting in my office? Work? Yeah, right, as if… so I’m Googling Bristle Palin’s “baby” and trying to buy drugs via text message… BOOOOORRINGGGGG

facehead December 29, 2008 at 2:41 pm

[re=206193]Kev-O-Tron[/re], [re=206191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Has Wonkette already replaced Airport Bathrooms?

bitchincamaro December 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm

[re=206181]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: I come here to shirk work; with our eds asleep, what to do?

Naked Bunny with a Whip December 29, 2008 at 2:55 pm

I’m trying to remember how I got through the work day before the internet. Masturbation in my cubicle, maybe?

chascates December 29, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=206195]Merry Christen[/re]: Did Bristol ever drop that kid? Or is she trying to hold onto till 2012 to help Mom out?

finallyhappy December 29, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=206207]chascates[/re]: NO- we discussed this earlier today- Gosh, keep up folks! NO baby yet. I do have the email address of a reporter at the Wasilla paper who wrote about Levi’s mom- so I am
thinking of writing to him and asking if he has seen Bristol carrying an internal watermelon or not.

FreshCliches December 29, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=206193]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: YouTube was made for moments like that. Any chance it was recorded?

Aquannissiwamissoo December 29, 2008 at 3:43 pm

The Mall of America is where straight people go to suck the product dong. And by product dong I mean anodized, polished vanadium steel socket wrenches.

donner_froh December 29, 2008 at 3:53 pm

[re=206055]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: of course there are, but the ones that are left are into female strap-on fetishes! Which “technically” doesn’t make you “gay”.

Well, surely THAT doesn’t make you gay. Not that I ever tried it or anything…

ServiceJervixJuice December 29, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Jesus Harold Christ III esq.! If we could only figure a way to harness the comedy energy generated by the Idaho Bathroom Goblin, I bet we could turn a mill wheel or power the wheels of a(n) horseless cart.

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm

[re=206238]FreshCliches[/re]: Only in my mind… Yeah, she was really great about arguing in private. Private places like grocery stores, bars, restaurants, city streets…. What a keeper.

wickedlittledoll December 29, 2008 at 4:36 pm

What kind of example are we setting for our impressionable youth?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/12/teens-who-take-virginity-pledge-just-as.html

SayItWithWookies December 29, 2008 at 4:47 pm

[re=206263]Kev-O-Tron[/re]: You know what they say about the crazy ones — it’s all fun, games and wild sex until somebody’s bunny gets boiled.

Kev-O-Tron December 29, 2008 at 5:03 pm

[re=206319]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m being a little unfair. She is a nice person and there’s no hard feelings. I was shit.faced. and probably deserving of a little scorn (albeit poorly timed).

Regarding the crazy ones: I went on a date once and the next day I was inundated with text messages about how she was terminally ill but I shouldn’t tell anyone because she wanted to die in peace. Jebus. My fucking life is so great.

getoffmylawn December 29, 2008 at 6:34 pm

The Minnesota state lottery has a concession stand just to the left (or maybe it’s just to the right) of the place – which last time I looked, had a statue of Snoopy pointing right to its entrance. Anyway, buy a lottery ticket and visit the stall, get lucky in multiple places? When done, it’s a short walk to the food court where you could get a foot long and drink a milk shake.

populucious December 29, 2008 at 7:49 pm

Well there go the Travel Industry’s plan to bail itself out with package tours of our nation’s most sordid bathroom stalls.

Kotter December 30, 2008 at 11:35 pm

I went to Minneapolis International about a year before anything involving Sen. Craig transpired, and may have actually used his bathroom stall. *shiver*

tocute2btrue January 1, 2009 at 8:36 pm

Queers are the by product of Liberals having Sex.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us January 1, 2009 at 9:56 pm

[re=206088]Riotting[/re]: by “get a lay over there” do you mean “get a layover there” or “get a lay… over there– as in Craig’s Stall”?

DangerousLiberal January 8, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Update: I was there last week. The handicapped stall was barricaded and wrapped in what looked like Police Tape. I told my wife I’d give her five bucks to ask a TSA screener where the shrine is. She asked a Northwest flight attendant instead, who, in true NWA style, looked appalled that we’d asked her to think. Then, a TSA person walked right up to us and pointed it out. Who says that the private sector services us (heh heh) better than public employees? Rock on, TSA.

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