This is what Chip Saltsman — the guy who successfully won the GOP nomination for Mike Huckabee — sent out as a “Christmas Gift” to fellow Republicans, so they’d choose him as the new head of their party. Please, let’s stop the “political correctness” and please, please, please let this guy be the new leader of the Republican Party. He is a fresh voice from the Old Skool of southern white racist cocksuckers, and the GOP needs him more than ever, now. [Fox News/Times of London]

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  1. Hey kids, song contest!

    Huck the Magic Christian, Lives in Arkansas
    Related on all sides to his kids and ma and pa
    And also to some cousins
    And some others you don’t know
    And he got his aides to write a song about a Great Negro!

    Next verse — worst than the first —

  2. -5 points cause I can’t understand a word he’s saying apart from the chorus. Otherwise, Chippy McSaltyballs for grand wizard or whatever all the way. USA! USA!

  3. It grows on you like Peter Paul and “Big Momma” Mary: one of my favorite Republican Negro Spiritual groups. Didn’t they support the war in Veet Nam?

    What are those republicans puffing on anyway? Joe Pie Weed?

  4. Wonketteers need to rally behind (ho!) Saul ANUZis of Michigan for RNC boss — when I look at his brilliant record in Michigan, I get all hot and bothered thinking about moving him up to the Big Show!

  5. Southern White Racist Cocksuckers. Give these idiot bigots all the airtime they want. And when the rational, civil majority of the GOP pushes these freaks off a cliff the Southern White Racist Cocksuckers can form their own party. The SWhiRCs. Or if that’s too hard to remember, then just the good ole’ KKK.

    That’s what this country needs right now. A political party that will only hold it’s rallies at night under the light of a burning cross.


  6. I’ve been away from you for a little while, Wonkette. After the election I let myself believe that this beautiful country had actually done the right thing. That this country did not have it’s head shoved so far up it’s own ass that it was going to enjoy four more years of erotoasphixiation. Maybe it’s nose and mouth had come out, and could breath again, and make a good decision. So, I felt a little better about things, and did not need to come to you so that I could post about how I can’t stand the bigot freaks who fill the dirty cracks and crevices of this beautiful country.

    But for some reason I decide tonight to give my old friend Wonkette a jingle to see how things are going. And you tell me that I’m the one with my head shoved up my own ass too deep to breath, because,” Hey Datsun510, these bigot freaks are alive and well, and everywhere. And the War On Peace is just getting started!”

    Thank you Wonkette. Happy Fucking New Year.

  7. Hey, Ken Blackwell is a candidate for RNC chair too? Man, what a fine, fine job he did in Ohio…

    Seriously, if these are the GOPs idea of quality leadership, the Dems’ biggest problem will be self-inflicted fuckups. Of course, they have a long and proud tradition of just that.

  8. oh, please librals. obama is a magically bi racial black man with a white guy’s intelligence and composure. stop fighting it. he’s not like those n-words you stay away from in your coloblind, everyone’s equal lives. and that’s why you voted for him (that and j.mccain sucked too hard)thanks for keeping seperate but equal and bow down to the white status quo (assimilation) alive.

  9. [re=205977]Datsun510[/re]: “the rational, civil majority of the GOP,” you say. I want some of what you’ve been smoking, it must be goddam powerful to have erased the last thirty years from your memory.

  10. [re=205981]Joey Ratz[/re]: And Blackwell (what, is Charles Dickens God? Blackwell, Falwell and Haggard make a good argument for nominative determinism) has defended Saltsman on this one, even though he’s running for the same position. Rubbing Saltsman into the wound, I guess…

  11. [re=205984]missjasmine[/re]: The “intelligence” and “composure” of the white guys at the top of the Republican tickets in 2000, 2004, and 2008 made me proud of my country for the first time in my adult life.

  12. I suggest that party members aggressively distribute this parody for free while walking through Harlem wearing a sandwich board reading, “I hate n*ggers.” Results will of course be You Tubed.

  13. [re=205985]qaf[/re]: I’m rational, and liberal. And I believe that the GOP is full of soulless bastards. But there was a time, once upon a time, when liberal and conservative people could stand in a room together and have rational, civil discourse. They hated one another just as much as we do now, but they were actually willing to speak politely to each other. Mind you, this was a long time ago, before Ronald Reagan et al decided to piss on the civil discourse and cash in on the hate.

    I believe the phrase “pro-abortion” killed political discussion. Millions of bleeding heart liberals and soulless GOP bastards are still capable thinking and communicating rationally. They elected Barack Obama.

    Whether the civil members of the GOP constitute a minority or a majority will be known in due time.

  14. [re=205980]Datsun510[/re]: Hey Happy Happy to you too.

    A suggestion?

    When you said “and could breath again”

    I’m thinking you meant “breathe” again.

    Some people get that confused and I wanted to point that out.

    No need to thank me! :)

  15. [re=205991]Datsun510[/re]: Sorry. Couldn’t read
    your reply. It was hidden by your thing.

    I never really liked Puff the Magic Dragon.

    I was a big fan of If I had a Hammer though.

  16. [re=205992]sanantonerose[/re]: I know! Let all future elections be decided via talent contest. I’d never get to be president, but right wingers would disappear from public life forever.

  17. What a racist, Rush-limpballs brain-washed fucknut would say: “B.b..but its not racist if you listen to it closely . It’s a parody! Oh please! Rush’s production manager is black. You see, you libs always playing the race card.”

    Republicans, if they’re not fucking children, then they’re burning crosses.

  18. The CD has 41 tracks. FOURTY-0NE! With such potential hits as: “I Can Talk Like a Coal Miner’s Daughter,” “Love Client #9” and “Down on the Farm with Al Gore.”

    Oh dear. I have to clean the starbursts off my sofa.

  19. [re=205994]gurukalehuru[/re]: “Let all future elections be decided via talent contest” Oops! The Huckabeast can actually play and sing. And the Palinator can win the swimsuit thing, though 9/11iani takes the tranny version. Fred Thompson can act.

    Howza bout we just let people vote instead?

  20. [re=205994]gurukalehuru[/re]: Mad Magazine already did that. They had Nixon doing the crying parts in Il Paggliace (sp?). Anyhow, I think Saltyballz has “cemented” his chances for being GOP chairman, in that he’s encased them in cement and dropped them in the Arkansas River, next to that motel where they took down the US flag and raised the Stars ‘n’ Bars when Hopey was elected.

  21. Usually, when an incumbent political party cops the mother of all hidings in a general election, its officials will at least pretend that the Party has actually heard the message they have been sent by the People (“YOU GUYS SUCK!”) and will endeavour to modify their policies and presentation accordingly.

    This audio pustule from Chip the Moronic Douchebag would indicate that my first paragraph does not apply to GOP.

  22. From the NYT:
    There are two black candidates for the post, J. Kenneth Blackwell, a former Ohio secretary of state, and Michael Steele, a former lieutenant governor of Maryland. On Saturday, Mr. Blackwell dismissed the fuss as “hypersensitivity.”

    He also cited Uncle Tom’s Cabin as his favorite inspirational book.

  23. Fuck, I can do better song parodies than that.

    The Repukes can hire me (I’m an equal opportunity slanderer) but I want to be paid in real money (Euros) and not what Republicant operatives are normally paid in which are coupons for free Kiddie Diamond Whores or fatal airplane crashes.

  24. [re=206005]Pop Socket[/re]: Mr. Blackwell does a really good job with his best and worst dressed list too. I salute Chip for doing this. I think he is a shining example of the best in the GOP- and I say we support him for the post by sending cards, letters, emails, phone calls, bouquets to the RNC on his behalf. If I get a little free time, I will hop on over to the RNC headquarters and march around with a sign supporting Chip(ok, I won’t but pretend I will).

  25. …I don’t understand why everyone is getting their testicles in a knot?! Its just white guy, speaking like a stereotypical black guy, while challenging the “Blackness” of the first African-American President?! These RACIST SHIT CRUMBS have the nerve to call this satire? Next thing you know they’ll break out the white hoods and burning crosses and call that satire. Nah, that’s probably a little to subtle!

  26. See if there’s one thing Republicans and conservatives “get” it’s satire and parody. For instance: “How many Niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: None, when their hands have been hog tied behind their back as they dangle at the end of a noose!”

    Think of it as black humor.

  27. [re=206009]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …the listed job requirements for GOP satirist are as follows:

    -Must be American(TRANSLATION: White)
    -Must be fluent in Red Neck
    -Must refer to anyone who isn’t white as a “Negro”
    -Must have a pick-up truck with Yosemite Sam mud flaps and giant Confederate Flag mounted in flat bed

    I’m not so sure if you fit any of that criteria!

  28. [re=206016]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    I’m semi fluent in Red Neck and the only time I’d carry a Confederate Flag is to rip it up and use it as toilet paper.

  29. [re=205977]Datsun510[/re]: Pushes the freaks off a cliff? Before or after they get their Medals of Freedom? You keep your eye on the “rational” conservatives, I’ll be keeping my eye on the child molesters and double-layer neoprene wetsuit (+dildo) suicidal sex maniacs. We’ll check back in 4 years to see which of us had more fun.

  30. [re=205993]Gary__Cooper[/re]:
    If I had a Palin
    I’d outlaw abortion.
    I’d outlaw teh gayz, all over this la-a-nd.

    I’d outlaw the Muslims,
    I’d outlaw the a-the-ists.

    I’d outlaw evolution, and rational thought,
    A-a-a-ll over this la-a-nd.

  31. [re=206019]Mr Blifil[/re]: While politics can be very entertaining, it is not supposed to be entertainment. And it will always be necessary to distinguish people who are stupid enough to be convinced to vote against their own best interests from the manipulatives pukes they elect.

  32. can conservatives be funny? ever? leaving aside the offensiveness is there any point in this video where libs and cons can hug and point and laugh because, hey, funny!

  33. with shame i will admit to knowing that this “milestone” in american humor actually comes from the rush limbaugh show and that stupid ass megaphone voice is meant to be al sharpton..,heyit was a loong ride!
    and @ mr todd clearly not, I heard this when it first played during the election, my first reaction was not that limbaugh had tapped an un-mined source of laughs.
    I like the GOP strategy of recycling election tactics that worked so well for them in the last cycle. Keep it up!

  34. Salty’s response, from Wik:

    “Liberal Democrats and their allies in the media didn’t utter a word about David Ehrenstein’s irresponsible column in the Los Angeles Times last March. But now, of course, they’re shocked and appalled by its parody on the Rush Limbaugh Show.”

    NOBODY said a word when the LA Times wrote about something that could be later used into a vaudeville-esque parody song caricaturing a black male voice generalizing about a race never showing up on time! Nobody said a word when the museum’s medieval weapons display was made, I guess I can rip flesh off Chip’s face with a mace then.

  35. How many songs must Chip Saltsman make before he’s the new King of Pop?
    And how many whites must sneer at blacks before civil rights at last stop?
    How many insults is it gonna take before there’s an all-white-guy GOP?
    The answer, my friends, is on EIB.
    The answer is on EIB.

  36. [re=206074]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: Well, I guess Salty’s got a point, whatever it was that Ehernstein said. Because, as we all know, two wrongs do make right.

    In this case, the second wrong makes the Right.

  37. I’m a southerner, born and bred, and I can promise you that no one in my acquaintance (or my family), racists though they may be, would be so crass as to actually put their feelings to music, and crappy music, at that. God Almighty, that was simply appalling.

  38. [re=206092]MarieDeGournay[/re]: “May Salty own a hotel with 1,000 rooms, and be found dead in every one.”

    Say, I like this scenario. I’ll ask my physicist buddies if there isn’t some way this can happen for realz…

  39. I don’t like the video much–especially the bobblehead–but the audio is clever and funny. The whole idea of Al Sharpton being pissed off at being put out of business by a Obaman, a black guy without ghetto mannerisms or angry black guy attitude, has the ring of truth.

    One could also add a coda including some remarks from Jesse “I’d like to cut his balls out” Jackson, who humorlessly made the same point in real life.

    If you are too ideologically imprisoned to see, or rather, hear, the humor in this parody, it is high time you lightened up. (I mean this figuratively.)

    OK, I’ve got my asbestos suit on. Go ahead.

  40. [re=206016]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You forgot the rifle in the back window. A another (critical!) requirement is not having a decent sense of humor. They think “irony” is something you do to clothes.

  41. [re=206138]Aurelio[/re]:

    Aurelio. Aurelio. Do you honestly think Rush and that clan actually were just trying to make modest commentary on Sharpton? Do you really believe they have an intelligent understanding of that L.A. Times article? Do you think they care about any of the matter’s they satirizing? That’s probably the offensive part.

  42. Holy shit, I am at this moment listening to Peter Yarrow, who wrote Puff The Magic Dragon, on Thom Hartmann’s show, discuss this “satire” with consummate civility and humanity. It’s a beautiful thing though I wish he would just say “those fucking retards suck” and be done with it.

  43. [re=206163]FreshCliches[/re]: Man the part where he sings “there is love” gives me honest to god goosewillies! Thanks for sharing that–it washed off the nausea I was feeling behind the magic negro thing!

  44. [re=206170]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Exactly; let’s be honest here, the liberal outrage on this would be less if it didn’t come from someone named “Chip.” Ugh, that’s not even his birth name either he just goes by it. Somebody cut this guy’s feet off please.

  45. [re=206138]Aurelio[/re]: I tend to agree with you that – on its face, the video seems “New Yorker Cover”ish. Where the racist assses went over the line is with some white dood speaking in “ebonics” and using codewords he might as well have been in Blackface. And you know that a white man coon-ing it up in Blackface is ONLY not racists insomuch as its being used by people with the proper appreciation of the Struggle, as [re=206152]american mutt[/re] so eloquently commented.

    In 2006, blogger and “some kind of paid, so-called racial expert” Gary Dauphin explains it brilliantly in his post” Should I use BlackFace on my Blog?.”

  46. But these tactics worked so well in the last election for the GOP. Why change a winning game plan kids? I’m going to go watch some Palin Klan Rallies from the olden days after whetting my palate with this beautiful musical composition. God Bless ‘Merica.

  47. Anyone notice how effectively the media has been instructed to play down this story? Try finding it on the front pages anywhere now. The RNC media machine has obviously been working overtime.

    What killed me was Chippy’s defense that basically amounted to: “Well, it was on Rush’s show, so it must be ok.”

  48. With Bible Spice whipping the Real Americans into a frenzy in 2012, and the racist RNC playing this new Republican anthem and flying the Confederate flag, they will give Obama the Magic Negro another term as president. See, these racist scumbags are proud of who they are and will only shout louder.

  49. [re=206199]problemwithcaring[/re]: If this song parody appeared on SNL, featuring Kenan Thompson as Al Sharpton, everyone would be laughing their asses off.

    Ezra Pound and his pals had lousy politics, but I still like his poetry.

  50. Is it perverse that I’m actually happy RNC is putting songs like this out? I mean, could they be paddling towaards the abyss of historical irrelevance any faster?

  51. [re=206243]AxmxZ[/re]: They’ll only become irrelevant if some other party comes along to draw some of them away. There’s too many bitters out there who will never, ever vote Democrat.

  52. That was bad? I half expected they’d call him macaca or something truly offensive. Barack the magic macaca is very catchy, and would score high points for alliteration, at least, but alliteration is SO elitist, and I guess they decided not to, as not to alienate their base.

    Because… this was a carefully crafted and beautifully executed bit of satire and not the steaming-shit train wreck it appears to be. Damn, that’s good satire!!

    [re=206074]Palin-Plumber2012[/re]: Someone needs to tell salty that nobody reads the LA Times–too much alliteration…

  53. [re=206344]Tomthebunny[/re]: I’m talking about the intentional fallacy. But you probably don’t know what that is. Let your fingers do the walking.

  54. Aurelio, this isn’t some intellectual exercise in literary criticism. In this particular instance, the SOURCE of the material is incredibly relevant. Do you really not see the relevant difference in SNL performing this song and good ‘ole Chip sending it out to his fellow Republicans?

  55. This little ditty
    is sung to that old

    “Chip the LowLife JewBoy”

    isn’t it ???

    you know, the theme song of
    Mike Savage and Sid Rosenberg
    and all those other “chosen”
    cocksuckers whose ethnicity
    is never to be slurred though
    they are free to do so to
    others ?

  56. [re=206235]Aurelio[/re]: I call bullshit man–if this had appeared on SNL the show woulda been shut down baby!!! Don’t mean to be a wet blanket (and who came up with that phrase, why would a blanket be wet anyway, shit that’s gross) but listen this is offensive no matter which way you look at it, okay? Is it the most important issue in the world, of course not, but it does provide an insight into the shithole that marks the deep recesses of the repub mind and it’s a reminder of why we are were in the the shit we are in today, so there.

  57. Ultimately, what difference does it make what the reaction would have been if SNL had written and performed the song? It didn’t. Rather, some white guys, already viewed by many as racists, came up with the song and performed it. And then a guy who is trying to become the head of a party with some serious race-PR issues packaged the song and sent it as a “gift” to members of that party.

    Dick In a Box was a hilarious song when written and performed by SNL comedians on a comedy show. But if Bill Clinton wrote the song and sent a tape of him performing it to Sara Palin as a Christmas gift–or even just the Democratic party–some people might interpret the song a little differently and find it offensive.

    It boggles my mind how some Republicans can claim actual ignorance as to why this whole situation is offensive.

    (to the melody of Barack the Magic Negro or Puff the Magic Dragon)

    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty,
    Little Dicky Cheney loved that rascal Bush,
    And brought him water boards, illegal wire taps and other fancy stuff. oh

    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty
    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty

    Together they would travel on a Presidential yacht filled with felons, child molesters, liars and corrupt political appointees.
    Dickie kept a lookout while Dubya huffed and puffed and failed his own country,
    Hastert, Delay, Foley, Craig, Vitter, Gonzalez, Libby, Stevens, Brownie, Rummy the list’s too long to explain,
    Somali pirate ships should all lower their flags to honor the Republican ship of shame. oh!

    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty
    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty

    A legacy lives forever but not so for the two faced, lying and corrupt
    West wings and campaign finance rings make way for boy toys behind bars.
    One grey night it happened, Barack came knocking on the White House door
    And Bush that cagey conman, ceased his feckless roar.

    His head was bent in sorrow, the neocons cried in pain,
    Dickie could no longer play along the Camp David lane.
    Outside the oval office, Dubya could not be brave,
    So Bush that feckless conman sadly slipped into his Crawford cave. oh!

    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty
    Bush, the feckless conman brought to you by the GOP
    Frolicked with the hypocrites of the grand old party of dishonesty

  59. WTF–I pull myself out of a Bells’ Palsy (btw–whoever Bell was, fuck him–this sucks) semi-comotose state where I have been all but hypnotized by the first season Carnivale DVDs that one of the kids sent me for Xmas, to drag my deformed body to the computer and catch up on the news (that is, read wonkette) and now the video is banned due to use something or the other?

    I sure as hell hope 2009 is better. But for Hopey’s victory, 2008 sucks.

  60. Ugh, I’m watching this on CNN right now and Anderson Cooper is laying out the story with the patented “some” people say the song is racist” and then after laying the story out says “you decide.” Way to take a stand, there AC.

    But then the best part is that CNN found Clarence Thomas’ best black friend to play pundit who’s saying that the whole thing isn’t racist at all and that Republicans should be outraged by the flack thrown their way and accused the Democratic party as the more racist party. The only decent thing about the whole bit, other than all the booze it’s forcing me to drink, is watching the look on one of the other pundit’s face when she just gives up as she realizes that the dude is insane.

  61. J. Kenneth Blackwell gets the epic finger for co-signing on the “hilarity” of this “parody.” We just found the perfect opponent to face off against Alan Keyes in a caged Deathmatch for the title of Mayor of TomTown (winner squares off against Clarence Thomas in the Remus Rumble).

  62. [re=206450]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Yeah, “Some People” and “They” got cited a lot today on CNN. You have to wonder what today’s squeamish-ass “journalists” would have done with Watergate (“It is being said by some that the burglarization of DNC headquarters was maybe possibly a questionable activity.”)

  63. [re=205995]HuskyMescan[/re]: “Republicans, if they’re not fucking children, then they’re burning crosses.”

    Whoa–With lines that good, I think Hallmark is calling your name for their new line of topical cards. You’re a wordsmith, Husky–a poet.

  64. [re=206364]Budini[/re]: Aurelio, this isn’t some intellectual exercise in literary criticism. Actually, that’s exactly what it is–except for the “intellectual” part. You’re right about that. There is nothing intellectual, intelligent or even funny, about the knee-jerk, mechanical outrage in most of the posts in this thread.

  65. The same wingers who circulated those silly lies about Obama being everything from a communist to the anti-Christ seem to have muttered a collective “fuck it,” and are now sending out blatantly racist jokes through the webtubes. Since it was all about race in the first place, I guess it’s better they’re being honest, though I thought it was kind of sweet that they were originally embarrassed to announce to the world they’d never vote for a half-breed N.

    I hope, hope, hope, the Rs keep this up right to the 2010 off-year elections. Then, after they lose more seats, they’ll go bat-shit crazy enough to think that they can compensate by finding some African-Americans to run on the Rs ticket in 2012. Since that particular talent pool is pretty shallow in their party, they’ll be forced to turn to douches like Blackwell or OK’s own J. C. Watt. For that matter, Alan Keyes better not put his dance-card away too fast.

    And it’s about time. After all, when LBJ signed the civil rights legislation of the mid-1960s, he knew the party was kissing the Solid South good bye. All the Democrats knew it. And so did the Republicans, hence the Southern Strategy. Maybe the karmic debt owed by the god-gays-and guns party has at last come due.

    I just hope that, for once, the Democrat’s don’t screw it up.

  66. Aurelio[re=206455]Aurelio[/re]: I’m still trying to figure out what you find funny about this song.

    Is it because I am African-American that I just don’t get it?

    The LA Times article that is ostensibly the inspiration for this song was not written in satirical tone. Rather, it attempts, unsuccessfully in my opinion, to present the tiresome argument that most of Obama’s white support is actually a manifestation of “white guilt”. Moreover, the argument says that Obama is a safe way to assuage this “white guilt because he is a “clean,” “articulate,” “safe” or “magic negro” as opposed to an angry, lazy, shiftless, dirty, sex crazed, N—.

    This song, on the other hand, makes no attempt at analysis. Like typical Republican stategery, the point is to get the talking points out and have fun with them. Like another poster pointed out above, they thought it was a safe tactics because, after all, the LA Times author is African-American.

    And I disagree with the poster who referred to two wrongs not making a right. That doesn’t apply here because the LA Times piece, wrong headed as it may be, isn’t presented as satire and doesn’t poke fun at the postulated conflict between the “magic negro” and the “authentic black person”.

    It is difficult to think of an analogy to illustrate my point that casts “Caucasians” in a negative light. This is because there are a very few examples of whites being accused innate evil, just for being born. Whites may be accused of racism, intolerance and insensitivity but there aren’t any common slurs against whites that I can think of that cast them as subhuman.

    I’ll give it a try. Let’s say your daughter is brutally gang raped and beaten by Blackwater forces while on tour in Iraq. The news reports include some quotes about women in the military and groups that oppose women in the military for a variety of reasons. One of these groups has strong ties to Republican leadership in the state where you live. A few weeks later, a RNC Chairman hopeful puts out a “lighthearted Christmas CD” full of “satirical” songs, one of which is titled “Gang Rapin’ Girl GI’s” set to the tune “Happy Days are Here Again.” A female singer playing the role of a member of the group that opposes women in the military sings the song’s lyrics that include a tongue in cheek condemnation of rapists but that also mentions that “girls” put themselves in the position of being gang raped by mercenaries when the join the military.

    Is this song funny? Is it satire?

    Just wondering….

  67. Why hasn’t anyone written a song about Abe the Magic Whitey? Oh, I see, he was a white Republican emancipator assassinated by a racist so it wouldn’t be as pathetically cute.

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