Wonkette
- On Christmas, four DC cops were videotaped stealing from Toys for Tots. Dick Cheney will subpoena this video and masturbate to it until Valentine’s Day. [DC Examiner]
- Former Post executive editor Len Downie writes smutty fan-fiction about Ben Bradlee, our nation’s first lady. [Washingtonian]
- The Washington Post and the Baltimore Sun will now share stories, but only those about “certain Maryland news” (traffic on the Beltways?) and sports. [Fishbowl DC]
- Barry’s face will now grace Metro farecards, just like an actual fascist dictatorship. [WTOP]
- The cause of Bethesda’s terrible Biblical flood is still a mystery, but a sublime mystery. [Washington Post]
If you gaze long into an Obama, the Obama will gaze back into you.
How about a jolly “Barack, The Magic Negro” CD instead?
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/12/candidate_for_rnc_chair_sends.php
From Downie’s book: “Then she turned toward him, reached back and unhooked her bra, freeing her breasts. Mark stood there awkwardly, staring at this effortlessly sexy woman.”
Awkward? Oh yeah. Effortless? Not hardly.
So, who are the cops gonna sell the toys to? Do-gooders who want to donate them to Toys for Tots?
villageatrois: Good idea. And then they can steal them again and sell them again. That’s the kind of out-of-the-donation-box thinking we need if we’re going to get out of this economic mess.
Communist dictators don’t kill people, people kill people. Let’s outlaw people
Mr Bush’s likeness graces the last of the paper transfers, if there is a god.
I got a new Obama button- it is a photo from election night and says “America’s First Family”. I am going to wear it to the White House and see if they will let me show Dumya.
Bethesda was punished for its wickedness, duh.
We’re moving to Maryland in a week and a half. It’s so heartening to know that there will be sub-par local reporting and biblical floods. Yippee! Perhaps the plague of locusts will wait to descend until after we arrive.
Also, driving across the country with two cats = hell.
Okay, Barry’s face on the metro card is nice, but how about a fare reduction instead? That would stimulate the economy.
(Seriously, all of this federal govt. stimulus is going to be pretty much negated by the idiotic fiscal conservatism being proposed by Paterson and Schwarzenegger right now)
Cicada: There was a smaller flood in College Park today- we will save the locusts until you are here and moved in.
jagorev: I would assume that doing a “collectible” fare card would give them at least some extra revenue from folks getting them online that are not going to use them. I actually think the idea is clever.
Cicada: “Also, driving across the country with two cats = hell.”
I got four. So I win. Or lose depending on your point of view.
Maybe a compromise. Barry’s head and the panda’s body, or the Panda head on Barry’s body, whichever.
Thank god they are getting rid of the picture of the stupid pandas. I HATE THE PANDAS!
All they do is eat, shit, sleep, and be fuzzy. I can do that too! But I’m not chinese… thats racist
Heil, Barry, Tsar of All the Pandas!
Seriously, what the next administration needs is a Panda Czar to go along with the Car Czar and the Coolness Czar and the Hobobeans Czar.
Dear Juli,
Even though this is Wonkette and we expect a certain level of raciness and ribaldry, please do not use the words “Dick Cheney” and “masturbate” in the same sentence. It is simply too much; next time these topics come up, please separate them with a comma or semicolon or some other grammatical thingmabob.
Thank you.
Stealing toys and a video for dicky to yank his chain to. Here’s some real stealing from the state of Mississippi. three judges,one senator and attorneys revealed fraud of 276 million. Now that’s a lot of redneck stroking at http://www.mftms13.wordpress.com Man are these folks pissed this got out.
Cicada: I have two cranky, spoiled lilac-point Siamese, a breed known for neither civility to strangers or quiet introspection. They never quit talking as long as they are awake. Stress doesn’t help. Driving them from Austin to SF in a Ryder truck required a month in therapy to recover (me, not them).
The return trip was much easier - a dose-and-three quarters of some powerful kitty Xanax down their ungrateful gullets, washed down with a syringeful of Night Train.
Not a peep between San Mateo and Abilene. Heheungh.
“WaPo Teams Up With BaltSun”
Next, they will share a scroll with FoxNews. <> <> <>
S.Luggo: “Dog walks man” “Condi: Laura Portrait Innovative” “Obama Rama: Oahu Dem Blackout”
“The four District of Columbia police officers reportedly caught on tape stealing from Toys for Tots ‘tarnished’ the department’s image, a police official said.”
Boo. They were engaged in Bush free-market economics. It isn’t wrong unless you are caught.