• May 26, 2012

God Bless Us Wonkette Nuts, Everyone

by Ken Layne  3:05 pm December 24, 2008


Oh look, another video e-greeting thingy … but wait! This is a custom holiday greeting just for all you Truck Nutz-lovin’ Obamatards with the perfect Ecodriving scores! Thanks, Obama Girl! Merry Xmas to you, too. [Barely Political]

{ 75 comments }

Crow T. Robot December 24, 2008 at 3:10 pm

I’m just glad I live in a world where there is no unemployment for the pretty/big breasted.

God bless us, everyone.

shortsshortsshorts December 24, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Fix the country’s problems? What? That’s not why Obama was elected, thank you.

But HOLY SHIT SHE IS DEVOTING THIS TO WONKETTE THIS IS INSANE. Thank you, Obama Girl. WONKETTE ES WIN. WIN I TELL YOU.

I’m going to actually have sex with a woman now, just because of this news.

actor212 December 24, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Her tops get skimpier and skimkpier…when is she going to go completely fanboi and emulate the Hawaii photoshoot?

jagorev December 24, 2008 at 3:15 pm

A big-titted woman wished us all a merry Christmas? I can die happy now.

shanemcgowan December 24, 2008 at 3:16 pm

What happened to the green Mitch McConnell? Is he out stealing Christmas?

mdotsota December 24, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Since 2008 was the year of Truck Nutz, maybe she can make 2009 the year of Truck Titz(z?)

ManchuCandidate December 24, 2008 at 3:20 pm

If anyone wants to ge me a gift, I’d sure appreciate Obama Girl under my tree wearing stockings. Hint hint.

mdotsota December 24, 2008 at 3:21 pm

[re=205323]shanemcgowan[/re]: He eloped with giant Campbell Brown.

SayItWithWookies December 24, 2008 at 3:24 pm

That was actually sweet. What the hell’s going on here?

Panderfinder December 24, 2008 at 3:25 pm

how special. a holiday card just for wonketeers, in our own
special language. and delivered by a bimbo. was sarah palin
*too busy* to send us greetings?

CollegeStudent December 24, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=205317]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Based on this video, it is pretty clear that Obama Girl is the only avid Wonkette reader with a job.
I bet she has a shitty ecodriving score tho…

ManchuCandidate December 24, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=205327]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
It’s the holiday spirit, my anonymous friend. It caused the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes. That or the editors have been drinking eggnog without the egg (aka whiskey) all day.

MoonshineJoe December 24, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Awwww! Merry Christmas to political curmudgeons everywhere!

bitchincamaro December 24, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Nothing puts “Christ” back in Christmas like a pair of double D’s.

Monsieur Grumpe' December 24, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Joy!

dijetlo December 24, 2008 at 3:36 pm

Thank you eco-driving maniacs for showering this manna on the Wonket nation. They said you were deranged, they said your were unemployable, they said you were probably a threat to yourself and those around you but you can eco drive like mother fuckers and I am grateful for your savante like capacities.
Again, as I re-spool the video, thank you.

azw88 December 24, 2008 at 3:40 pm

wow, that totally validates all of my visits to Wonkette (and the occasional ecodrive) while I was ‘working’!!

azw88 December 24, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=205332]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yup. “Christ did you see the tits on that chick!”

V572625694 December 24, 2008 at 3:46 pm

This is so awesome. She hit all the Wonkette memes except, of course…wait for it…assfucking. You can’t have everything I guess.

SayItWithWookies December 24, 2008 at 3:47 pm

[re=205330]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well — I’ll give up my bitterness and sarcasm when Christmas pries it from my cold, dead hands. Or when these brownies kick in, whichever comes first.

Mr. Todd December 24, 2008 at 3:47 pm

omg, she’s talking to me!

bfstevie December 24, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Nobody has mentioned how good Campbell Brown is looking these days. That is Campbell Brown in the video, right? And what is Bill Kristol doing to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus?

Hedley Lamar December 24, 2008 at 3:49 pm

I’m deeply moved. Or rather, I just dribbled in my jeans a little. Merry whatever you
crazy bitch!

Neilist December 24, 2008 at 3:52 pm

[re=205325]ManchuCandidate[/re]: If you’re going to wish, wish BIG!

E.g., ObamaGirl, Jessica Cutler, and Our Own Beloved Ana Marie Cox in a BIG XMAS LESBO THREEWAY!

Now, THAT’S Christmas.

V572625694 December 24, 2008 at 3:55 pm

Sorry to crush your dreams, [re=205340]Mr. Todd[/re], but she’s talking to me.

Rush December 24, 2008 at 3:57 pm

I never knew Sarah Smith had such straight teeth. Blessings to all fellow Socialists.

timeless December 24, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=205317]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Amen, brother.

ella December 24, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Now the girls and I feel even more inadequate.

Happy everything, one and all!

TeddyS December 24, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Merries rite back atcha, Barely Political and Obama girl.

Servo December 24, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=205338]V572625694[/re]:
Perhaps there’s a Director’s Cut.

Mahousu December 24, 2008 at 4:16 pm

When foreigners ask me what sort of cultural legacy America is providing the world, I say, “Hey, just look at our breasts!”

Then, while they’re doing that, I swipe their wallets and run.

Keram2 December 24, 2008 at 4:19 pm

[re=205320]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Oh come on Shorts, I always had suspicions that you were actually a busty media whore for Obama. Don’t hide your true identity.

Bruno December 24, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I’m so impressed Obama Girl walks among us. Who do you think she is and what does she post?

Not_So_Much December 24, 2008 at 4:32 pm

What a dilemma! I was pretty much hating her vacuous stupidity, in spite of her fake, pendulous breasts.

But a Kwanzaa shout-out to Wonkette? AND trucknutz?! Well, I guess I’ll have to cut her some slack and settle for just admiring her hooters…

HedonismBot December 24, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=205354]Mahousu[/re]: WIN!

facehead December 24, 2008 at 5:03 pm

[re=205357]Bruno[/re]: ONLY OBAMA GIRL WOULD ASK SUCH A BIG-BREASTED QUESTION!!! HA!!!

Thus, it is either you, or Ken Layne, my money’s on Ken.

V572625694 December 24, 2008 at 5:07 pm

[re=205359]HedonismBot[/re]: [re=205354]Mahousu[/re]: Ed Sanders said it best in the immortal Fugs tune “Boobs Alot”:

Do you like boobs a lot?
(Yes, I like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Really like boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Down in the locker room,
Just three boys,
Beatin’ down the locker room
With all that noise,

Singin’ do you like boobs a lot?
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

Do you wear your jock a lot?
(Yes, I wear my jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(Got to wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

Well, down on the football,
Football field,
You never can tell
What a heel can wield,

So you gotta wear your jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot.
(You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

If I had a flag-a-long,
(If I had a flag-a-long.)
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If I had a long flag-a-long,
If you like boobs a lot, tag along

Bee beep, bop, de boob a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)

They’re big and round,
They’re all around.
They’re big and round,
They’re all around.

chascates December 24, 2008 at 5:19 pm

I’m hoping she’s the Ghost of Big Breasts to Come!

AgentSparks December 24, 2008 at 5:30 pm

I[re=205324]mdotsota[/re]:
I almost choked on my bottle, er, glass of Totts when I saw “Truck Titz”. Feliz Navidad!

sevenrepeat December 24, 2008 at 5:35 pm

She has warmed the very cockles of my heart.

bago December 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm

My trucknutz, which previously weighed down my eco-mobile are elevated and light and happy and gay now. Also.

BruceLee5000 December 24, 2008 at 5:53 pm

This isn’t the original “I’ve Got a Crush on Obama,” Obama Girl, is it? She looks way different.

wickedlittledoll December 24, 2008 at 6:25 pm

Obama’s too busy turning America into a hippie commune to pay attention to big-breasted chicks who love him:
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2008/12/yes-we-cannabis_24.html

Atheist Nun December 24, 2008 at 6:30 pm

Huzzah! Wonkette Wins Everything! Today, we are all full of win. And Truck Nutz.

WadISay December 24, 2008 at 6:35 pm

If she had delivered this from the kneehole under the desk, it would have been maximally cool. As is, 7 diamonds. Merry Christmas and, as was said of Ashley DuPree, Ho, Ho, Ho.

Scandalabra December 24, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Sway your hands in unison brothers and sisters…

“We are the world…

We are the Trucknutz…”

2druk2phluq December 24, 2008 at 7:13 pm

She aroused the humorous retort right out of me. Uhhh, boobies?

Jukesgrrl December 24, 2008 at 7:46 pm

The meatball has been knocked off Hussein Letterman’s tree and the radiant Darlene Love has begged her Baby to Please Come Home for Christmas, so I guess it’s time for me to hang up my half-breed muslin stocking and declare war on said holiday in the bosom of my family of record (I have a birth certificate that joins me to them, which is more than we can say about SOME people). I’m off to don my velvet track suit, pop a raccoon on my head, and join a party or indictment, whichever seems most festive.

Fellow Wonketeers and Dear Editors, I wish you all the best on whichever holiday you choose as your own. And, people, don’t forget to divert some of your relatives’ top-shelf booze for that special blowout we’ll be celebrating in January. It will beat the hell out of any HanukkahKwanzaaSolsticeChristmasNewYear we hobos could come up with in 2008. Cheers to everyone!

DoctorCulturae December 24, 2008 at 8:17 pm

Obama Girl has touched me. Of course in my imagination only, but adequately I might add.

Cape Clod December 24, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Wow, now that’s what I call sending little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

Suck on that, Rich Lowry.

azw88 December 24, 2008 at 8:19 pm

I am sure all Wonketeers sat up a little straighter in their chairs and said, “is she pointing those hooters at me?”

assistant/atlas December 24, 2008 at 8:34 pm

[re=205357]Bruno[/re]: That is so sweet that you think she’s literate.

JK, Obama Girl! I totally heart you with you my pants.

Merry Whiskey to all and to all a Good Scotch.

WIDTAP December 24, 2008 at 8:38 pm

So Huntington forgot to send us a card this year?

zhubajie December 24, 2008 at 9:08 pm

Too bad she has the pink thing on! Although most Wonktards are probably best looking in full burka!

AngryBlakGuy December 24, 2008 at 9:13 pm

…normally I would post some perverted/degenerate comment, but she actually has me speechless! Now excuse me while I search for the lotion and tissue.

loquaciousmusic December 24, 2008 at 9:22 pm

I am SO TURNED ON. Those reindeer had better watch out tonight.

KevoTron December 24, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Alright… Fess up! Which one of you assholes is actually the tits? My guess is one of our less than funnee commenters is tits…. Whoizit?

Mr Blifil December 24, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Great, now can you record her telling Mrs. Blifil that Mr. Blifil is out there tagging anything with a pulse? I think coming from Obama Girl it might soften the blow a tad…

WIDTAP December 24, 2008 at 10:58 pm

[re=205400]KevoTron[/re]: Ok – you caught me on “less than funny”. It’s a fair cop.

mattbolt December 24, 2008 at 11:33 pm

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. I’ve honestly got fuckin’ nothing. This is the best Christmas ever. Better than the Grinch having a change of heart, better than Rudolph guiding that sleigh with his shining birth defect, better than when Snoopy saved Christmas, better than when the Muppets and Sesame Street guys got together at that cottage, better than, uh… whatever that original Christmas miracle was about, something about Jews? FUCK IT LET’S GRAB THE EGG NOG AND RUM

Captain Swing December 25, 2008 at 12:03 am

Yes, Obama Girl can fly the Captain’s Starship any time…

Merry Christmas and a Happy (and snarking) New Year to all my fellow Wonketteers!

Chief Grinning Eagle December 25, 2008 at 12:17 am

I think I needed that. The crack metaphor must refer to hippy crack I hope – you know – laughing gas! I can’t come here without laughing my ass off. We love it when beautiful intelligent women praise us.

WonkaBee December 25, 2008 at 12:43 am

yeah, first thought… does this say “arrived?” or “departed?”

2nd thought … she needs a better crack dealer.

mattbolt December 25, 2008 at 1:34 am

It really doesn’t matter what I get for christmas, the fact that a flash-in-the-pan internet celebrity recorded a video that referenced memes that are popular on a blog I read is the greatest present I could ever hope for.

Which is… poignant.

HuskyMescan December 25, 2008 at 1:42 am

Baby Jesus, why is it that I could eat Obama girl’s “processed corn” just because her breasteses are big?

jodyleek December 25, 2008 at 1:46 am

[re=205344]Neilist[/re]: And the obvious title of your fantasy threeway? Ho’, ho’, ho’.

Jim Newell December 25, 2008 at 1:54 am

Oh… oh well this just makes me very happy.

Bruno December 25, 2008 at 4:49 am

If Obama Girl supported Walnuts instead, what do you think is the probability she would be asked to go on the campaign tour a la SnowBilly or Joe da Plumber?

I’m guessing she would be showered in gifts that far exceed the $180k Snowbilly got away with. Oh, and Walnuts would have won due to the starbursts (and her ability to construct a coherent argument which still includes use of TruckNuts).

Bruno December 25, 2008 at 4:59 am

[re=205390]assistant/atlas[/re]: Literate? I think she went to Yale. Then again Bush went to Yale. OK, she went to the good Yale.

Bruno December 25, 2008 at 5:39 am

Anyone interested in making a gay version of the greeting and sending it back to Barely Political?

TGY December 25, 2008 at 7:41 am

Moving.

what tha? December 25, 2008 at 9:43 pm

I hope Santa brought Obama Lady a nice new bra to boost the obvious, mammary-looking cleavage into a better look.

Boondock Saint December 26, 2008 at 1:41 am

wow. Look at those fun bags!

CivicHoliday December 26, 2008 at 1:19 pm

a true xmas miracle

Kev-O-Tron December 26, 2008 at 5:09 pm

I’m a day or two late on this but I just want to say this one thing:

TITTIES!!!

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