WASHINGTON, DC, 04:30 PM, SUN JULY 5 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
NEVER FORGET

Bush Pardons Real-Estate Criminal Whose Dad Donated $28,500 To Republican Party

'I'm your savior. God never did anything for you - but I will.'Nothing says “Christmas” like pardoning a bunch of terrible criminals — it’s like the original, fun, pre-Jesus Christmas, which the Romans called Saturnalia, in honor of beleaguered General Motors’ “different kind of car company,” Saturn. Back then, the Midwinter Holiday included such goofs as “letting slaves get it on with your wives” and “fucking said slaves in their butts, before beheading them,” and also, “emperors giving presents (severed heads) to other slaves.” It was likely very awesome. Anyway, let’s meet George W. Bush Junior’s latest bunch of dope fiends made free by Imperial Decree.

In his last round, Bush pardoned some hillbilly who poisoned a bunch of Bald Eagles, because why not? It’s just the symbol of America, after all!

This time, Bush has pardoned 20 hardened criminals, including another wonderfully symbolic shout-out to American graft & corruption: Bush pardoned a real-estate criminal!

Isaac Robert Toussie pleaded guilty to charges in two separate cases. In one, he admitted in 2001 that he had made false statements to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, pleading guilty to a count of falsifying loan documents that illegally qualified about 100 home buyers for the HUD-backed mortgages.

He and his father, Robert Toussie, were also at the center of an investigation into whether Suffolk County drastically overpaid for a land purchase, sparking lawsuits and an overhaul of the county’s land acquisition program.

Ha, fuck you, America!

Robert Toussie donated $28,500 to the Republican National Committee this year, according to Federal Election Commission filings. The pardon shocked and outraged lawmakers and homeowners, some of whom who say they were victims of the Toussies.

The other pardons went to the usual bunch of dope gangsters.

Bush pardons man involved in Suffolk real estate scam [Newsday]


9:00 AM on Wed December 24 2008
By Ken Layne
4525 Views

  1. Today, we are all real estate criminals.

  2. Dear Bush, Please pardon Iraqi Shoe Thrower, he has brought us joy for the first time in 7 years and 11 months. Bless you.

  3. Doglessliberal says at 9:10 am, December 24th, 2008

    Sometimes I wonder if W is stunningly clueless and blind to the impact of his actions and statements and if he really does not get the way things are perceived (because he is a rich, white child of privilege who is simply incapable of walking in another’s shoes), or if he is just constantly saying “F YOU!” to everyone.

    But then I conclude he is sort of a hybrid: an evil moron.

  4. Darehead says at 9:11 am, December 24th, 2008

    Pardons for sale or rent,
    Butts to let, 50 cents…

  5. Delicious says at 9:14 am, December 24th, 2008

    If you can’t steal shit, and then get your dad to buy you a pardon, then why even have an America?!

    Jesus fuck!

  6. freakishlystrong says at 9:17 am, December 24th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Yeah, I do that too, is he really that obtuse? Or is he really that big of an asshole? I think he’s a genuine sociopath, and cannot for the life of me understand the Bush apologists, (one being sadly, my own sister), the wingers are a cult.

  7. Are you implying some connection between the money and the pardon? Because that’s just wrong. Never even considered the money.

  8. 4tehlulz says at 9:19 am, December 24th, 2008

    bu…bu…but CLINTON MARC RICH ERIC HOLDER BLARGH>>>>>>1010100110

  9. charlesdegoal says at 9:21 am, December 24th, 2008

    Weird list. None of my former dealers on it. I guess George never went to score on Rivington Street.

  10. When Socialist Barry gets in, is he going to pardon Sacco & Vanzetti?

    I think he should issue a blanket pardon to anyone ever mentioned in a Pete Seeger song.

  11. Darehead says at 9:27 am, December 24th, 2008

    Somebody’s gonna say it anyway, so: Free Leonard Peltier!

  12. Mild Midwesterner says at 9:29 am, December 24th, 2008

    The eagle poisoner wears a flag pin on his lapel, so there’s no reason to question his patriotism.

  13. ManchuCandidate says at 9:30 am, December 24th, 2008

    Darehead:
    Free Mumia?

  14. x111e7thst says at 9:31 am, December 24th, 2008

    I had forgotten about Wolfram and Hart.

  15. I Am Not Your Gary Busey says at 9:37 am, December 24th, 2008

    Uh… I’d double check my Saturnalia sources. I never trust scholars who don’t at least wear assless chaps in their homepage photos.

    http://www.milism.net/

    Mr Gannon, is that you?

  16. Darehead says at 9:39 am, December 24th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: Him too! I waited for someone else to say it. You did. Free Leonard Peltier and Mumia Abu-Jamal! And free da weed-ies too.

  17. actor212 says at 9:43 am, December 24th, 2008

    I swear, Martin Luther started the Reformation over shit like this.

  18. shanemcgowan says at 9:43 am, December 24th, 2008

    Where’s Larry Craig’s pardon?

  19. PsycGirl says at 9:49 am, December 24th, 2008

    “He and his father, Robert Toussie, were also at the center of an investigation into whether Suffolk County drastically overpaid for a land purchase, sparking lawsuits and an overhaul of the county’s land acquisition program.”
    I swear when I first read that, I saw “spanking lawsuits”. Must be all that Butts going around.

  20. MarieDeGournay says at 9:50 am, December 24th, 2008

    Mithras the Sun Lord shall burn the darkness of this adminstration away.

  21. shanemcgowan says at 9:50 am, December 24th, 2008

    While he’s at it, he should pardon Ed “NJWeedman” Forchion. NJWeedman is a true visionary. njweedman.com

  22. finallyhappy says at 9:53 am, December 24th, 2008

    x111e7thst: An Angel fan? here? Any FireFly fans? Any original Trekkers?

  23. shanemcgowan says at 9:53 am, December 24th, 2008

    that’s http://njweedman.com/ My typing skills are deteriorating.

  24. $28,500?! That’s bargain basement pardoning. The Clintons at least held out for $107,000 to $200,000 per pardon (see Edgar & Vonna Jo Gregory and Almon Glenn Braswell & Carlos Vignali).

  25. SwanSwanH says at 9:59 am, December 24th, 2008

    No, not him! Give us Barabbas!

  26. snideinplainsight says at 10:00 am, December 24th, 2008

    The real blessing here is that Bush cannot pardon people who haven’t been charged yet (or, if he tried, which he might, someone should just tell him “it doesn’t work that way”). Some part of me wonders if federal prosecutors might have done the math on this already and are holding back cases until a new administration -

  27. finallyhappy: Not a Trekker, and never seen much of Angel, but LOVE FireFly and Buffy (Buffy the most… sorry :P)

  28. heroinmule says at 10:03 am, December 24th, 2008

    Wow, the RNC has become a real cheap date. Clinton won’t even talk to you for less than $50K.

  29. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 10:07 am, December 24th, 2008

    snideinplainsight: Yes he can. Ford pardoned Nixon even though he hadn’t been charged. Carter gave blanket pardons to Vietnam draft dodgers whether they had been charged or not.

  30. Mr Blifil says at 10:07 am, December 24th, 2008

    Something tells me we won’t be hearing much about Denise Rich at the Eric Holder confirmation hearings…

  31. Bruno: Pardon me, boy;
    I’m just the cat who chucked his new shoes!

  32. Serolf Divad says at 10:09 am, December 24th, 2008

    J.:

    Yeah, but $28,500 was more than McCain raised during the entire presidential campaign season. You’ve got to adjust your metric to take into account how unloved the GOP is right now.

  33. Bush should pardon OJ Simpson, so he will have somebody to golf with.

  34. Mr Blifil says at 10:11 am, December 24th, 2008

    I Am Not Your Gary Busey: That’s the only kind of “scholar” Wonkette can possibly use. Feature, not a bug.

  35. Oh man, this kind of action on behalf of people with that kind of architecture. We are finally living a real-life version of Robocop.

  36. finallyhappy says at 10:13 am, December 24th, 2008

    Riotting: Me, too. I loved Buffy- saw every episode- not so much Angel. I only found Firefly this year but now own the series and Serenity. I am perhaps not the oldest fan- or maybe I am.

  37. BitterDwarf says at 10:17 am, December 24th, 2008

    finallyhappy: Huge fan of all things Whedon… not so much on the Star-Trek. I got all excited when I saw the Wolfram & Hart picture, though. Dr. Horrible DVD in the mail, and whatnot. Uh …buttsex.

  38. snideinplainsight says at 10:17 am, December 24th, 2008

    Canmon (the Inadequate): Yeah but Bush or one of his cronies would have to be knowledgeable about history, or say Wikipedia, to actually figure that out.

  39. Doglessliberal says at 10:20 am, December 24th, 2008

    2goats: Of course! Clearly no connection to the money. Just out of the goodness of W’s heart did he decide this poor, wrongly-accused man should have the burden lifted from his shoulders.

  40. finallyhappy: Well, I’m only 18, so I’m actually one of the younger Buffy ones (got into it while it was leaving popularity).
    As for Firefly, i know the series better than I do the movie, because I saw the movie then bought the series and got into it. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Serenity since so I don’t remember it well and don’t know the complete back story. Have you heard about Joss Whedon’s new thing, “Dollhouse”? Features Eliza Dushku (Faith in Buffy) and is futuristic and stuff. I’m hoping we get atleast TWO seasons before this one gets the axe. I’m pumped, so I check out http://www.dollverse.com/ every now and again.. Usually times like this when Wonkette is being slow :P

  41. BitterDwarf: I would not have noticed the Angel reference had someone not pointed it out. But now i get it and am laughing… hard… seriously.

  42. PerhapsSo says at 10:30 am, December 24th, 2008

    The attorneys at Wolfram & Hart are all working for DOJ now, no?

  43. finallyhappy says at 10:39 am, December 24th, 2008

    BitterDwarf: yeah, I’d - what do you younguns say- hit that(Nathan)!

  44. BitterDwarf says at 10:39 am, December 24th, 2008

    PerhapsSo: Yeah, they all passed the “god, guns and teh gayz” question and DOJ scooped them right up…

  45. finallyhappy says at 10:42 am, December 24th, 2008

    Riotting: Yes, I have - I think Whedon is great and I hope the show will stay around for a while- but network TV being what it is…..

  46. Oh course Bush had to pardon this guy, I mean he only admitted to committing all the crimes he was charged with, pleaded guilty to everything he was charged with, and received the proper sentence for all the crimes he confessed and plead guilty to. Clearly a travesty of justice that needed to be overturned. Maybe Leonard Peltier’s family needs to make some donations to the RNC.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  47. V572625694 says at 10:51 am, December 24th, 2008

    snideinplainsight: Canmon (the Inadequate): Bush the First pardoned Casper Wineberger and his tribe for Iran/Contra in advance of their being charged with anything. Also.

  48. Mr Blifil says at 10:55 am, December 24th, 2008

    V572625694: I think Weinberger et al. received their pardons on the eve of their trial commencing. So clearly the charges had been leveled.

  49. suchsweetthunder says at 11:27 am, December 24th, 2008

    Dearest Wonkette:

    Be it against all stalwartness in my constitution to risk assailing Providence on this eve of deliverance, but compelled I find myself to ponder: “Why in the hell is Wonkette the only ‘news source’(no offense intended) that’s picked up this story. I mean, Seriously? Seriously?”

    Thoust fellow readers, I beg thee blessed seasonal indiscretions and that thou never shall acquire teh Herp in the dawning virginal anum.

    Yours truly in solidarity,

    Such Sweet Thunder

  50. PerhapsSo says at 11:41 am, December 24th, 2008

    BitterDwarf: I was thinking more about torture, actually.

  51. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 1:00 pm, December 24th, 2008

    freakishlystrong: I read an interesting article when he was first elected that said that, linguistically speaking, he speaks like a sociopath (all his gaffes occur when he’s talking about peaceful things; when speaking aggressively he suddenly can do so blunder-free).

    As far as this story goes…meh, I can’t say I’m surprised by any outgoing president ever abusing the pardons to help people who’ve fucked over the poor. Wake me if he pardons that kid from Utah who fucked up the land auction.

  52. Joey Ratz says at 1:17 pm, December 24th, 2008

    Wolfram and Hart? Wasn’t one of them mauled by a white tiger?

  53. p-Sludge says at 5:32 pm, December 24th, 2008

    finallyhappy: I started smelling something foul in Buffy Season 6 and had to stop. Luckly Angel started getting really good about then.

  54. what an asshole!

  55. wickedlittledoll says at 6:31 pm, December 24th, 2008

    Name me one thing Bush has not completely f-ed up.
    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

  56. Bruno: Dubya the Indian-giver. There was old Toussie-Woussie all happy and everything and then WHAM-O! He is un-pardoned. This mind-fuck is another example of Bush administration torture policy. It is a crime against subhumanity, in the form of crooked real estate developers.

    I bet they did this at Gitmo too: “We’re gonna let you out today. You’re free to go. Pack your Koran and stuff. Aren’tcha happy?….. No, wait! Oops, we changed our minds. Get back in your dog kennel!”

  57. Come here a minute says at 10:39 pm, December 24th, 2008

    I call no take-backs!!

  58. That’s 28,000 rupees of pure patriotism there.

  59. cakeordeath says at 1:07 am, December 28th, 2008

    Oh, Ken, masterful use of alt-text and shame on me for knowing exactly which episode it’s from.

Leave a Reply