- Rick Warren will exorcise the all gay out of Barry using the same Bible that Lincoln used at his Invocation. [The Caucus]
- Barack Obama has shipped Rahm Emanuel to Africa, where he will be able to avoid Blaggy. [HuffPost]
- Here is famed music critic Howard Wolfson’s list of all the music he listened to while stress-eating and furiously masturbating in 2008. Howard Wolfson is so emo. [Ben Smith]
- The Pope has said some terrible things about the homosexuals, whom he thinks are totally gay. [Political Machine]
- Sarah Palin says that the most important thing she learned from the campaign was that things go badly when she is not in charge. [Top of the Ticket]
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS
December 23, 2008
Rick Warren Is Your New Lincoln
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{ 39 comments }
Rahm looks like a creepy elf in that HuffPost pic.
The Pope is the world’s greatest authority on Gay Matters. He employs more gays than anyone outside of Disney, which is being “boy”-cotted by the Warrens.
How many employees would the Catholic church have without the gayz? May god bless you all.
Given an unusual love for hot red Prada shoes, I’m lookin at you popey.
“Rick Warren Is Your New Lincoln”
Ah, so he is gay!
Pope still doesn’t get it: your minions aren’t fucking choirboys because they’re gay. They’re fucking them because they’re sexually repressed.
can someone tell the nazi-sympathizing, stupid dress-wearing, ugly-ridiculous-hat-wearing, protector and enabler of child rapists to SHUT THE FUCK UP??????????? he wears red prada shoes for fuck’s sake! why do people listen to this fucktard anyway??? he makes fucking sarah palin sound intelligent!!!
me no likey teh pope!
I look forward to Richard Cohen’s next column about the Pope’s statements.
I think the awesomest thing about the Pope is that he’s so relevant.
That Political Machine article was pretty great, starting with the title “Pope, in Fetching Dress and Shawl Ensemble, Denounces Homosexuality.”
[re=204756]4tehlulz[/re]: While waiting, here’s this. “Fight the Real Enemy!”
Cue to 3rd minute:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttgFCDUUt_0
AOL commentor Tom sets us all us all “straight”:
While I’m not in agreement with the pope regarding homosexuality, your description of him as the “gayest-looking man on the planet” is uncalled for. The garments worn by the pope, the Swiss Guard and members of many other organizations are traditional rather than contemporary, like Scottish kilts, for example. It’s easy enough to ridicule what you don’t understand. As for “being kissed by a dude”, that person is kissing the Pope’s ring, which is a sign of respect not so much for the human being who is the pope, but for the office that he holds. Besides that, it’s a fact known by most educated people that in many cultures it’s quite normal for straight men to kiss as a sign of mutual respect or affection, but has nothing to do with sex or sexuality.
So all you homo-Wonketteers, get over it. It’s traditional, like bull-fighting. Or ass-fucking.
[re=204762]V572625694[/re]: Or Jew-burning, another great Catholic tradition.
Sorry about the italics.
Swiss Guards : Vatican :: Village People : New York
This will be the first time an incoming president has used Lincoln’s Bible, which is part of the collection at the Library of Congress.
Oh look — another president with an unused Bible. Actually, I’m okay with that.
“The Pope himself described behaviour beyond traditional heterosexual relations as ‘a destruction of God’s work’.”
I guess felching 12-year old boys in the rectory is OK, Mr. Pope?
So what does a priest, cardinal, pope know about traditional heterosexual relations? A dude in a dress who worships a naked little man on a cross, drinking his blood and eating his body. Yeah, that’s normal.
Rick Warren will exorcise the all gay out of Barry using the same Bible that Lincoln used at his Invocation.
He’s going to kill teh ghey by using a gay man’s Bible?
How? Overpopulation of teh gay?
[re=204751]Bruno[/re]: I’m looking forward to The Pontiff Wears Prada, starring Joe Pesci as His Holiness Joey Ratz and John Goodman as Saddleback Warren.
[re=204762]V572625694[/re]: It’s not really the ermine cape or the red Prada shoes or the gold brocade dress that’s so gay — that’s really just tranny, and there’s a difference. The real gay part is the two wetsuits and the dildo.
[re=204777]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Don’t for get his ride.
http://www.foxnews.com/photoessay/photoessay_3774_images/0416081400_M_041608_pope26.jpg
Where does the Pope stand in the new shirtless cold war? His manhood is on the line.
[re=204781]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
Manly Popes drive these…
http://soupytrumpet.com/uploads/2008/04/churchtankgi.jpg
[re=204781]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I bet he’s blasting “I’m a Barbie Girl” out of the sound system.
Lookie, this was linked from the LA Times article on Palin.
America’s favorite conservative transsexual thinks Palin is just peachy. The starbursts are practically flowing out of Ann’s Adam’s apple.
The gist of the article is basically “Oooo, Sara’s sooo much cuter than any Democratic female politicians!” So maybe Ann’s a lesbian and not a tranny…
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=29995
You don’t even think of most Democratic woman as women: Rosa Delauro, Nita Lowey, Patty Murray, Janet Napolitano — and the list goes on. Oh, sure, there are the odd female Democrat sex kittens — your Janet Renos, your Donna Shalalas — but they’re the exception to the rule.
After Palin gave her barnburner of a speech at the Republican National Convention, a friend of mine in a liberal industry told me his friends were aggressively confronting him demanding to know if Palin was raised by a secret cult of Christians that taught children nothing but Creationism and public speaking.
Oh, how I wish he had said “yes.” Imagine the aneurisms! I think what liberals were trying to say was: Gosh, she’s an exceptionally attractive mother of five!
Then, when the McCain crew did roll [Palin] out, they revealed their suicide wish by starting with Charles Gibson and Katie Couric.
Really, how awful to toss Sarah like Daniel into that den of teddy bears — who savaged the fuck out of her, btw.
[re=204781]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Oh, Dubya needs one of those — but where’s the target that dumps him in the water if you hit it?
[re=204762]V572625694[/re]: Well “Tom” that may be true, but said ring in question is a cock ring.
[re=204786]President Beeblebrox[/re]: “a friend of mine in a liberal industry…” What’s a liberal industry?
Barack Obama may kiss my little white ass — the goddamned traitor.
[re=204800]Makeithurt[/re]: Hopey’s not a traitor. He just thinks he’s the preznit of the whole United States; like every motherfucker from teh gays to the fundies to the rednecks. Yeesh. Anywho, he’s all Kum-Ba-Ya and shit and thinks he can get people to be civil and reach common ground on shit. That’s his style.
[re=204762]V572625694[/re]: I am so over the Catholic Church- and just think- the sex scandal was here in the US- imagine what is still going on in all those countries where the Catholic Church is still revered.
The Catholic Church makes a big deal about how there shouldn’t be any gay priests. But then, there shouldn’t be any straight priests, either. I mean, for the past 900 years, priests aren’t supposed to have sex with anybody for any reason.
I might take them more seriously if they would say, “We should have no gay priests. No straight priests, either. Or pedophiles. All sexual urges, no matter how perverse or mainstream they may be, are not to be tolerated. Masturbating priests will have a hand cut off, and another hand in the event of a second offense. This is the will of the Lord. Thanks be to God.”
[re=204798]V572625694[/re]: Environmentally conscious gay porn?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI
That is all.
[re=204798]V572625694[/re]: What’s a liberal industry?
You know, Hollywood? Jews? He’s in the pictures.
I gotta agree. The Swiss Guard is gayer than a rainbow of Skittles.
I agree with Governor Palin: She should be 100% in charge of everything the Republicans do. That will guarantee the proper amount of comedic incompetence necessary to keep all of Wonkette’s editors employed throughout the coming Greater Depression.
The man wears $600 Prada loafers — in red! — and he’s calling THEM gay? Ri-i-i-ght.
“MOSSLETOFF”
Fuck. Yeah.
From the story in the LA Times:
In a new interview in Human Events, Palin was asked the most important lesson she learned this fall:
“As a chief executive of a state, I am not used to that. I am used to proving my abilities by calling the shots. Then I know the buck stops with me. I made the decisions, and I’m responsible. When others are making decisions for me, as they were in the campaign, and I am the one to live with the fallout from the decisions that were made on my behalf, that is something I am not very comfortable with.”
She’s still got it.
Eh, the Pope is *so* XIX-th century.
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