Wonkette
Now here’s a wacky thing! The Transition team issued a release today announcing a bunch of new mid-level White House staffers (Deputy assistant director of truck nutz, etc.), and there’s a strange inconsistency with the style of the staffer bios. Each is referred to by his or her first and last names upon first mention and then last name only for every additional mention. Yet for some reason, the new deputy legal counsel, Cassandra Butts, is referred to as “Cassandra” in the additional mentions. Sexism much? “Butts” is a perfectly good Christian name! We like Butts. Buttsy! Ah ha ha, we used to have a dandy of a time back in the day, we did alright, with good ol’ Butts. So why does the Obama transition team censor her last name? Did they find some arcane, incredibly childish problem with “Butts” that bloggers would use for cheap laffs? Did they not realize that censoring “Butts” would, in fact, call more attention to their comical paranoia? There is no need to cover-up Butts. [The Page]
I think the cover up might be about butt’s ex.
Um…rimshot?
Don’t ask about her brother Seymour.
And congratulations! That’s the one millionth truck nutz reference on this site! Time to bury it at sea!
In deference to the Rick Warren followers they wish to court, the Obama transition team did not want to see too familiar with Butts.
I hear that Cassandra kicks ass.
Or something like that.
I’ll butt ya she’s never heard those jokes.
And I hope ya gave all yer newspaper delivery boys or girls a nice tip before they suspended their deliveries.
I want Washington Post writer Dan Balz to interview Butts. In fact, it would be awesome if he had a column dedicated to Butts. It could be called “Balz on Butts.”
The Deputy Legal Counsel’s office is full of hot air anyway.
We need to bring Butts out in the sunlight, and give Butts our full respect and attention. There’s no telling what could come out of Butts if we don’t treat our favorite Butts properly.
Lascauxcaveman: She’s em-bare-ass-ing. Jim said so. Above.
Serolf Divad: WIN. Speaking of Rim shots!
Serolf Divad: Or if Balz got into a scuffle with her, the headline could read ‘Balz Smacks Butts’.
well, here she is Cassandra Q. Butts, which I am too dumb to think of a joke about right now.
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/hearingfromyoubios
So her name is Cassandra? I don’t get it.
She’s going to get dragged before Congress a bunch in the next four years — the Republican propensity for probing Butts is well-known.
“Obama fingers Butts for Whitehouse leak. More probing to come.”
Obama should harken back to the immortal words of Pee Wee Herman — “All my friends have big buts.”
Doglessliberal:
I think she out to be like Prince or Madonna and just use a single name.
Before I decide which is the funniest name, I need to know what that ‘Q’ middle name stands for. Ideas? (Quoran maybe?)
Cassandra, being who she is, predicted these comments and takes umbrage.
You’ll be hearing from her attorney, Anthony Ray Mixalot, Esq.
Bruno: Queef
Wonkerinos: We better start being nice and friendly. Or we gonna be da enema of da Butts.
Then you look at her résumé and see eminent qualifications and experience. How are we going to deal with an administration that offers competence and accomplishment instead of dumb nicknames for Petroleum Club cronies in over their heads?
“Cassandra Q. Butts is an advisor to the Obama campaign on domestic policy and has been a long-time friend of and advisor to Senator Obama since they were classmates at Harvard Law School. She is the Senior Vice President for Domestic Policy at the Center for American Progress.* Prior to joining CAP, she was a senior advisor to Rep. Richard A. Gephardt (D-MO) and served as the policy director on his 2004 presidential campaign, which included formulating a universal health care plan. In her seven years of work for Rep. Gephardt during his tenure as the House Democratic Leader, Butts was a principal advisor on matters involving the judiciary, financial services, and information technology. She provided counsel and strategic advice to the Democratic Leader on a range of issues including the 1998 presidential impeachment and legislation related to the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, including drafting the groundbreaking September 11th Victim Compensation Fund of 2001. Butts most recently served as a senior advisor to Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) in 2004-2005. Previously, Butts was an Assistant Counsel for the NAACP Legal Defense & Educational Fund, where she worked on civil rights policy and litigated voting rights and school desegregation cases. She also served as Legislative Counsel to Sen. Harris L. Wofford (D-PA). Butts also served as an international election observer to the Zimbabwe parliamentary elections in 2000. She is a graduate of Harvard Law School and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.”
norbizness: yeah, now is the time to move forward to “TruckButz”
V572625694: They woulda been a nice presidential team. Gofart Butts. Butts Gofart? Still possible.
FreshCliches: When did her lawyer lose his Knighthood, or is he embarassed to use it in the Americas?
V572625694: Which goes to show that Obama’s got more smarts in his Butts than Dubya’s got in his whole administration.
V572625694: plus, she is gorgeous
So what do you make of the Ms. in all references to Ms. McCormick Lelyveld? No one else deserves as Mr. or Ms. They also all have single last names. Coincidence? I think not.
Doglessliberal: Like our Hopey himself.
SayItWithWookies: If she’s ever caught up in a White House cover up and indicted by the Feds, we can only hope for the NY Post headline “Fitzy Fingers Butts”.
Imagine being the person who went through 300,000 resumes to choose the best Butts.
SayItWithWookies: Well to be fair, we never got to see Bush’s butts. His minions all had their heads so far inside them, the view was obscured.
V572625694: The HOTT Administration
A true Team of Rivals would feature Santorum and Butts.
I’m reminded of the way that my local newscaster announced the resignation of President Ford’s Secretary of Agriculture: “Earl’s gone, no ifs, ands, or Butz.”
Cassandra — one of the Butts sisters. Bertha was one of the other sisters — troglodytes.
Little-known story:
Former All-Pro Washington Redskin great, Dave Butz, is not enshrined in the NFL Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, because of institutionalized Butz/Butts discrimination.
The 1980s Defensive End said that the NFL Commissioner had offered a place for him, but only if he agreed to be referred to simply as Mr Dave.
Crow T. Robot: the comments should have been closed off after that one! well played sir.
Well, at least they won’t be receiving quite so many prank calls from Bart Simpson down at Moe’s. I think he’ll be otherwise occupied.
Eh-lots of free time there Newell, huh?
Ooh, do you think she goes by “Sandy”?
Oh, and the new head of the Presidential Council on Fitness is Maurice Cheeks.
V572625694: So Butts served Dick for seven years?
Crow T. Robot: More like rimjob, amirite?
Doglessliberal:
Yes and her favorite cocktail is a Sex on the Beach.
Penetrating, Jim.
JohnnyMeatworth:
I am surprised the Ford-150 crowd has not invented this yet.
At some future date TRUCK BUTTZ morans will break ranks with their TRUCK NUTZ bretheren, and both tribes will duke it out via cartoons of Calvin pissing on each others totems of stupidity. Huzzah!
I LIKE CASSANDRA BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE
Deepthroat: Sorry to hear about your recent health problem.
The name problem she has is with “Cassandra”. Not a good choice for someone who has made her career in being an “advisor”.
Is this another crack … in the glass ceiling?
Sorry. That’s all I got.
It’s threads like this that make me proud to be an American.
villageatrois: She’s done pretty well, considering that no one’s listened to her.
No Sir-Mix-A-Lot tie in? WTF?
For you kids out there: “I like big butts and I cannot lie….” Geez, this lame shit just writes itself (although other fun puns are very fun, also).
I don’t think they want to remind voters that Obama’s a smoker. That is all.
oh, if only she’d married the co-founder of partygaming.com, Anurag Dikshit, then should would be Cassandra Dikshit-Butts.
If she steps out in two weeks at night, does that mean that Butts gets mooned?
Heh. Her name has “ASS” in it.
4tehlulz: DangerousLiberal: You guys had to go there.
TJBeck: FTW!
shanemcgowan: No loose shoes, either.
I’d hit that.
I swear there is, or was, a manager of the local water department of that same last name, and his front one is, Harry. And a long time agho there was this family with the unfortunate last name “Dick.” That’s a last name. The wife should’ve never married the guy, her given name being Anita and all …
I assure you that under the new administration, no one will be making fun of your name, Mr. Glasscock.
I knew this dude once, “Vagina McFarley” … what a crazy last name.
Reminds of the story of the Louisiana State professor who attempted to order a New England Patriots jersey with one of her former student’s names on it. The NFL site rejected the order. The man’s name? Gay.
& more recent vintage, the aborted Gay-Love front-court in Memphis. Traded Kevin Love to Minnesota, so Rudy Gay walks alone.
HEADS UP BUTTS
I’m sure Barry stands fully behind Butts.
Kiss and rub butts.
Bowdoin: I used to work with a guy named Richard Weed. He insisted on being called Dick. Go figure.
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Yep, when a mid-level White House staffer walks in with a little bitty waist and a round thing in your face . . . well, ya get sprung!! Ya wanna blow your top because they say that she never stops. The transition team tries to warn me but that Cassie grrrrl makes me so horny . . .
Anonymous3: LOL!