Wonkette
- With most ballot challenges finished, Al Franken leads by 48 votes over his opponent the dildo. [Star Tribune]
- Hillary Clinton will try to save the economy from her perch at the State Department. [NYT]
- Unlike other recessions in which few “real” people lose their jobs or “rich” industries go under, the current Deep Recession will find a way to destroy us all. [WP]
- SO COLD, more proof that the liberals lie with their global climate, er, “change.” [Weather.com]
- Presumptuous black fraud Barack Obama will be sworn in with Abraham Lincoln’s personal Bible, which is a Koran. [Politico]
Whether it be with 175 degree summers, a new Ice Age, or giant oceanic farts, our “Mother” Earth will find a way to destroy us all. Thanks a bunch, Earthie.
Senator, I served with Dildos: I know Dildos; Dildos are a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Dildo.
SO COLD, the Minnesota Recount was foiled again. By BLIZZARD People.
Welcome to the new State Department, where the door will be open to top Bill donor Chris Hohn, whose TCI hedge fund “has a reputation for aggressive shareholder activism. It has taken an active role in most situations to promote its own agenda under the guise of sound corporate governance and increase shareholder value.” Yeah, give her more power over the economy…
For those of you who have missed Norm Coleman’s press releases since the election, here, I have summarized them for you:
I.Am.The.Senator. We are confident. Confident, I say!!! Mr. Franken, have the common decency to spare the taxpayers of Minnesota further exposure to your cosmically doomed campaign. (Sounds of money being channeled to Coleman through wife.) This base comic is trying to steal the election. (Sounds of investigation of illegal contributions.) We are CONFIDENT!!! We are suing to stop this. We are suing to stop that. He’s trying to turn Minnesota into Florida–OK, sorry, we didn’t mean that. Grave irregularities. O.M.G. STOLEN ELECTION!!!
Seems Mista Newell was forced to wake up early today, kids. Should be an interesting day.
shanemcgowan: Coleman is too limp to be a dildo. But what matters is that he likes it in the manner of his fundie spiritual advisor, James Dobson, founder of Fuckus in the Femway.
Whatever. Al will win the erection.
“es…happy days! taxes will go up, jobs will be lost, the coal industry will collapse, the economy will move toward socialism…oh happy days!!!”
A comment from Politico. Really, I think Obama shouldn’t attempt to appease, nor reach out to, the wingnut fringe, facts just bounce off their tinfoil skulls.
Every time a Finanze turd gets laid off, an angel gets its wings.
So for some reason, I had a news station on and some moron is talking and at the end, they say he is from Politico. He was talking about what Princess Sarah has to do to stay viable for 2012(I think keep piper from getting knocked up or on drugs cause she is 8 or is that Willow?). I am so waiting for the fights among the veritable flood of GOP candidates.
The name of the senior senator from Minnesota looks like it should be pronounced “Norm Coleman,” but it should actually be pronounced “The Dildo.” Senator The Dildo’s office has issued a press release to this effect.
WadISay:
I detect increasing bitterness in Coleman’s ranting as he begins to realize that he might have to work for a living, spend some time with his kids (not on TV), give up his low cost swinging DC bachelor’s pad and settle for a sex life that includes his actual wife.
finallyhappy: I disagree. If Piper gets knocked up, then Sarah’s a shoo-in for the 2012 GOP nomination. But if Piper becomes a methhead before she’s thirteen, she loses the methhead vote. Even methheads understand the importance of enjoying meth responsibly.
If I’m Obama, not only do I get sworn in on a Koran, I have Bruce Villanch write my inaugural address. That way I piss off the libs, the conservative nutbags and comedy lovers. It’s all about being inclusive.
We’re not in a real recession until Peggy Noonan loses her job.
Never fear. Meth lab output will continue unabated. The standard design is tested in the cold of Alaskan churches using impoversed uneducated snow-necks. If it can be produced in those conditions, lower 48 production can be continued as planned.
Monsieur Grumpe: If/when the Election Board certifies Franken, they should also pre-emptorily divorce the Colemans, except that you may see Norm on late night TV selling Blo-n-Go products. Other than that, Norm will be “spending more time” with the cocktail waitresses in St. Paul.
WadISay: When politicians say they’re quitting to “spend more time with cocktail waitresses,” you know that’s just code for something else.
I can’t bring myself to follow the Politico link; if I wanted to read the views of neo-Confederates, I’d read the comedy stylings of George Allen.
Larry McAwful: Tail-waiting for cock tresses?
I keep trying to swear on the Lincoln bible but the Library of Congress won’t let me!
the nation is gripped in snow despair.
Politico has been secretly infiltrated by Onion operatives. This becomes apparent when one reads its increasingly shrill and nonsensical headlines. Or so I hear. Being unemployed and all, I still don’t have time to read that vomit pile clogging up the ‘tubes.
Can’t Barry afford a *new* Bible to swear on? Probably not.