Wonkette
A very brave man once stood up in a press conference and took off his shoes one at a time and threw them at the President of America, who nimbly ducked because he still has the reflexes of a regular cocaine user. This shoe-throwing fellow was promptly taken to an Iraqi jail, where he was probably beaten, and now he will be tried for, let’s see, “aggression against a foreign head of state” on the very last day of the year. Translation: Muntadar al-Zaidi will be locked in a coffin of live rats and shipped to Dick Cheney’s basement at the Naval Observatory, where the Vice President will spend his New Year’s Eve skinning and stuffing the hapless Iraqi, who will become the latest addition to his growing collection of large mammal specimens.
Muntadar al-Zaidi faces five to 15 years in prison for chucking a couple of shoes at George W. Bush. He will probably be tried on a lesser charge of “attempted aggression,” because, who knows, maybe the straight-up aggression charge only applies if the shoe-hurler doesn’t miss? Or if you’re throwing something more menacing than a shoe? The point is, Muntadar al-Zaidi owes George W. Bush a debt of gratitude for dodging a projectile so well, or else our brave journalist friend would probably already have been tortured to death by Blackwater goons.
Iraq shoe-thrower set for trial [BBC News]
How dare he throw shoes at the man who descended upon his nation like the plague, leaving a wake of death and destruction in his path. Doesn’t he know we burned his village to the ground in order to save it?
Shoes don’t kill people, feet do?
…
eh, it’s too early for witty comments.
If Dubya had a shred of compassion in him, he’d put a stop to this, but no, the idiot doesn’t even understand what the guy’s “beef” is with him.
If it was my boot, a miss would still be just as effective with the choking cloud of tough-actin’ Tinactin.
Is Muntadar al-Zaidi Arabic for Al Bundy?
“I once threw two shoes at the Great Satan for the Faithful!”
freakishlystrong:
Heh. Compassion? W? That’s like looking for intelligence.
Yet Scooter Libby remains free.
Serolf Divad:
Yes, and
How many shoes can a shoe hurler heave
Before in shoe-shooing we shall surely believe?
On the bright side, the maker of Muntadar al-Zaidi’s shoes just had to hire hundreds of people to help make more shoes. Seems the style al-Zaidi was wearing is now a really hot fashion item / political statement.
When shoes are criminalized, only criminals will not be callused.
I expect a fully rehabilitated shoe-chucker to inform us that he believes Dubya to be the most gentle, kindest, warmest human being that he has ever known at his show trial. That or he gets Room 101.
Throwing shoes is in contravention of internationally recognised convention. However, the shoes cannot be found or have been destroyed.
Therefore by applying Bushes approach for WMDs, we should brutalise the accused because the shoes are probably hidden in a baby milk factory or are in cleverly hidden deployment vehicles, ready for launch.
Can’t we just give the man that new puppy he has earned?
Has anyone proposed the idea that W might have picked up his shoe aversion skills from repeated episodes of dodging Laura’s footwear whenever she comes down off of her Xanax highs?
ManchuCandidate: The “Compassionate Conservative” is as much of steamin’ pile as the “Decider” making anything close to an intellegent decision..meh..and they’ll get away with ALL of it…I need a drink already.
Cape Clod: If I were married to “W” I’d not only be high on Xanax, I’d be BOOTing him. Out.sike101: His name will be in history books for generations. That should be good. A puppy would be nice too.
This is all the fault of Europe, specifically England.
Had to conquer the Middle East and teach them “soccer”, fat lot of good that did him.
If that man had spent his childhood on a sand lot or pick up football field, he’d have nailed that prick. I notice he wasn’t wearing tennis shoes either, oh no, our boy apparently has an orthopedic bent and as we all know, those pack some heft.
C’mon DAWG!!!! Your ten feet away from him, how could you miss….TWICE! You don’t throw like a girl, you throw like a Muslim girl! The average American girl would put your lights out at that range with an orthepedic shoe! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Let’s get somebody in there who can pitch!
Kind of shameful that we have to rely on a courageous Iraqi journalist to do what the Supreme Court and Congress failed to do, which is to say, “Get outa here, ya big jerk!”
You could watch that video a thousand times and not get tired of it. Maliki, who knows which side his bread is buttered on, even tried to fend off the second Florsheim attack.
I hope they throw the book at him. Oh wait.
I can’t wait ’til they charge him with attempted murder. Those heels were made out of wood, man! It’s things like trumped up charges and trials for shoe throwers that make me so glad that we’re inexorably tied to Iraq for eternity.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I think it would have been in Dubya’s favor if he had just said, “Hey, it’s cool,” and dropped the charges on the guy. It would have demonstrated even more starkly the differences in outcomes of such an action in a Saddam and no-Saddam Iraq.
But, no. Even at the end Dubya piles on more douchebaggery onto the steaming pile which is his legacy. Good fuckin’ game.
dijetlo: We must set up funtioning baseball, basketball and american football teams in every country we invade. “Soccer” and Cricket must be banned and banned now.
Bruno: By country we invade, I of course mean country we ‘civilize’
Bruno: Dead right Bruno, we thought the Iraqis needed freedom, liberty, Democracy…turns out all they need is a relief pitcher who can bring a little heat. No wonder the British empire collapsed, with all that “scrumming” they indulge in (as any right thinking American knows, scrumming is just another word for teh buttsex).
So let’s prop 8 those limey bastards and get back to developing tight ends and wide receivers among our knew burden…I mean friends, the Iraqi people.
Look, we can’t really allow just anybody to throw shoes at heads of state or it’d never stop. We’d be up to our keesters in used Dockers or whatever. No, he should be sentenced to a fitting punishment, such as writing puff pieces on brainless starlets or something. He *is* a journalist, after all.
Well, I always say look on the bright side of life:
At least that journalist HAS a pair of relatively nice shoes to throw at Dubya (whom I will not insult for fear of being charged under Iraqi law against “insulting foreign leaders).
Where as we here in the USA, thanks to Dubya’s Greater Depression will soon be walking around barefoot and naked (except for the potato sack garments which we will comicly stich together with supermarket twist ties. I say the iraquis never had it so good !!
Actually, they beat the shit out of him while W was watching from the podium. Naturally, he did nada to stop the torture, because that’s how he roll. Then they burned him with ciggies and beat him naked with jumper cables, backstage. Fuck Iraqi puppets and Fuck W.
/Sorry, no snark on this one.
W should just be glad he didn’t invade Holland.
Had we all heeded the old saying, “A shoe in time saves nine.”
Okay, the shoe guy obviously needs a lawyer and a pair of slippers.
These don’t come cheap, so where do I donate?
At the trial, the defense should demand the actual shoes be presented in evidence, so their lethality (or lack thereof) can be shown.*
Unfortunately, the Secret Service has already destroyed them in “explosive testing”.
So… the defense moves for immediate dismissal?
___________________
* A critical factor, since as written the crime charged is an attempt to *kill*, not merely humiliate.
Looks like Dubya finally found Iraq’s WMD* — shoes.
* Weapons of Moslem Disparagement
Freakishlystrong: Yes, an actual leader might have shooed away (no pun intended) the representatives of the various security forces who had descended upon Mr. al-Zaidi before they could whisk him away to somewhere private for a good duffing up.
An actual leader might have put a kindly hand on his shoulder and admitted that, yes, he could certainly understand how someone just might be tad upset about having their country invaded under false pretences, at the cost of who knows how many tens of thousands of civilian casualties.
Instead, The Great Leader stands there smirking as if he’d just been mooned by a drunken frat boy, well pleased with the kind of rough ‘justice’ his assailant would be subject to, regardless of any official charges; and too ignorant to even realise the depth of the insult that assaulting someone with a shoe represents in Arabic culture.
The good news is, this imbecile will be gone in less than a month. We can only hope he doesn’t get frisky and decide on a great finale, like bombing Iran or something.
P.S: I wonder if anyone has set up a fighting fund for Muntadar al-Zaidi’s legal costs- I think I could find a few dinars…