ha ha dubya is 'hung'

Portraits of George and Laura Bush Unveiled

It's teevee's Cindy Williams!We were going to do some kind of comedy thing, regarding this dumb story about the National Portrait Gallery unveiling the paintings of George and Laura Bush, but why bother when the, uh, the CBS Evening News is already on the job:

A Public Hanging (Of Sorts) For The Bush Family
You’ve seen him assaulted with a shoe, but care to see President Bush “hung?”

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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119 comments

  1. Hooray For Anything

    You know you’re being held in low esteem whenever the major news organizations are making jokes about you being hanged.

  2. Deepthroat

    A wealthy Texas garbage-man’s foundation came up with $40,000 for a sunlit scene of the First Lady reclined on her right elbow with a book propped on her lap.

    you’re right Ken; there really is nothing more to say about this.

  3. actor212

    Every other President wore at least a tie! What a DOOSH!

    I’m guessing he feels people will stick his portrait in the basement for state dinners anyway.

  4. Neilist

    Painting the First Lady after the mortician had finished was a nice touch.

    But who is the chimp on the sofa?

  5. Campell-on-CNN

    Painting looks like the cover of one of those chaste-romance-novels-for-women-of-a-certain-age. In other words. Ugh.

  6. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Somebody needs to Blingee the hell out of Dubya’s portrait. He looks like the retarded half-brother of nekkid Burger King.

  7. FreshCliches

    That’s great, but what’s with the jpg of Betty Crocker?

    When his time has come, I hope Preznit Unicorn breaks free from the inherent limitations of oil on canvas.

    Like, if he took the portrait of W off the wall, laid it on the floor, and took a dump on it. It’d be performance art and a metaphor.

  8. Rev. Juan MessyCan

    EWWW! I don’t ever want to see any reference to Bush hung again – the more I try not to picture it the more disturbing the images get. (Starting with the mega-crotch of Mission Accomplished fame.)

    Not enough bleach in the world to remove the taint from my brain (though perhaps 2 blunts might let me forget it for 4 hours).

    I want Bush beheaded, please.

  9. magic titty

    GWB has his best “Hey there, lil fella…ever seen a grown man naked?” pose going on in his.
    I like it.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    I feel sorry for the poor bastard who has to clean the shoe prints off that portrait every evening.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    The first family wasn’t (quite) all jokes. As Mr. Bush reflected on being custodian of the presidency these last eight years, Knoller reports, tears welled in his eyes.

    Wow — until I read that sentence, I didn’t think I had anything in common with Dubya.

  12. Hamster

    $160,000 for that Bush painting and $40,000 for that one that is supposedly Laura? I’m clearly not charging enough for my paintings. Some artist made $40K for about 20 hours worth of work. This is truly the last personal kick in the nuts from these dinguses.

  13. Guppy06

    Grammar Nazi would rather see George Bush hanged rather than hung (preferably “Texas style”), but wouldn’t mind seeing him burnt instead.

  14. jagorev

    What the hell is that shirt he’s wearing? Two breast-pockets and flaps? I’ve never seen that outside of ’70s cop TV shows.

    I’m sorry, but that shirt is an offense to men of decency and good-will everywhere. I throw a (figurative) shoe at that shirt.

  15. I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    Those tits are… hypnotic. …I am under Laura’s spell. …Must invade Upper Baluchistan to prove my worth.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    [re=203503]Campell-on-CNN[/re]: The symbolism of the roses in the background whose stems don’t…quite…reach the water is a little too sad.

  17. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Gah! There’s a picture of a non-Campbell Brown newswoman on that page! I’ve been unfaithful!

  18. Perrys Mollycoddler

    It’s “hanged” not “hung”…is Katie Couric really on the news?! God she sucks at life.

  19. Gleep!

    [re=203503]Campell-on-CNN[/re]: Cambell! you’re back! can you please explain WHAT, THE, FUCK anderson was doing calling us the Angry Left? It made me so made I had to go and read all 30 odd pages of camments on Glenn Greenwald’s post about the Rick Warren kerfloufle- now I’m really angry-

    btw is Laura supposed to be wearing a see through blouse?

  20. facehead

    Bush gets honored with a portrait at the National Portrait Gallery instead of being tried at the Hague for war crimes? Kev-O-Tron is gonna be pissed …

  21. WadISay

    The Laura artist forgot to include a couple of the new chins she’s been growing, and he kept most of the Joker lipstick on her, you know, lips.

  22. actor212

    Bush looks like he’s taking English lessons.

    “Doooooooooooo yewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wannnnnnnnnnnnnt friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies with thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

  23. facehead

    [re=203534]mhale0[/re]: That COMPLETELY creeped me out. You pull that shit again and I’ll send MAD-Kev-MAD-O-MAD-DOG-Tron over to your house to bust yer lip.

  24. Vanity Smurf

    [re=203535]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Nice catch. Smart painter. At first I was like, what a shitty portrait, and then I realized Pickles must have requested that it be done in the manner of the Mary Cassatt picture of a mother and two daughters that is part of the White House collection and usually hangs upstairs in the hall. Poor, poor, Pickles and her SMU Impressionism 101 memories of life before she married that turd. The pictures will live in storage forever, just like all the Nazi propaganda portraiture from the 30s; something to be reproduced in black and white in a footnote just to show they existed.

  25. Vanity Smurf

    [re=203555]Hamster[/re]: That depends. Are you related to a big donor? No dole unless you’ve got proper crony credentials.

  26. Gleep!

    wow- proofreading not my friend today- that would be “made me so mad” and 30 odd pages of comments”
    apologies to any editor types out there

  27. p-Sludge

    Screw portraits. The real question is: what will it be like to sit down at Disney World and see the Obama-robot addressing the masses.

    Youtube current show:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moytOpK0Wkk

    Obama to come:
    http://www.lifthill.com/news/barack-obama-to-enter-disneys-hall-of-presidents/

    “The animatronic likenesses of Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush were each voiced by their real-life counterparts and Disney hopes to continue the trend with President-elect Obama. The revamped show in the magic Kingdom is expected to be complete by the Fourth of July 2009.”

  28. Hooray For Anything

    [re=203566]anabellum[/re]: Yet the portrait doesn’t quite capture that dead-in-the-eyes look that she has from all the painkillers and anti-depressants she gobbles down daily

  29. mrpuma2u

    Where is Triumph the insult comic when you need him?? “Hey Laura, that’s a really great painting, FOR ME TO POOP ON!”

  30. Neon Trotsky

    [re=203531]I Am Not Your Gary Busey[/re]: The article says her portrait was done by “Aleksander Titovets” whose last name I choose to translate from Russian as “Man of the Titties”…

  31. SayItWithWookies

    [re=203528]jagorev[/re]: It’s from K-Mart’s Mark Trail collection. Adapted for the office, of course. I also like how the arms and hands are photorealistic, yet the head is flat and cartoonish.

    [re=203565]Vanity Smurf[/re]: I see the affect she must’ve been going for (something like this) but the painter way overdid the pink and orange tones, which look natural in the Cassatt.

  32. Bruno

    Oh this is so obvious, Bush just likes saying he is hung because everyone knows it’s really shriveled up. Hence, Iraq needed to be invaded

  33. Advocatus_Diaboli

    It looks as if w is wearing a buttoned down shirt that has two pockets, each with a flap on top?!?

    WTF

    Jesus Christ, 1973 called and it wants its wardrobe back.

  34. Hooray For Anything

    [re=203574]p-Sludge[/re]: I hope Disney let’s W. be W. and feature the animatronic W. speaking non-sensical gibberish. And will he be reading My Pet Goat in the display?

  35. Maus

    [re=203500]actor212[/re]: He gives fratboys their bad name and will not only take that legacy to the grave, but be *proud* of it at the same time.

  36. SnarkNotFark

    [re=203618]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Plus, the pleats at the cuffs on the sleeves are completely uncalled for.

  37. okthen

    The Laura portrait looks nothing like her. The real Laura has smaller eyes, lower forehead, more of a double chin; generally a rounder face and thicker body. This painting looks like a Thomas Kinkaid job.
    I’d like to see how Lucian Freud would handle these portraits (no nudity though).

  38. Custer'

    ‘Hung’ is used correctly since it’s placement on a wall, or from a rope, is not the point here. It refers to his manhood. Jees

  39. SayItWithWookies

    [re=203503]Campell-on-CNN[/re]: Alright — consider yourself outted. The real Campbell can at least spell her own name.

  40. SayItWithWookies

    [re=203683]S.Luggo[/re]: Probably woulda had more impact if I had spelled “outed” correctly though. And noticed the misspelling of Campbell sooner.

  41. SayItWithWookies

    [re=203683]S.Luggo[/re]: Aargh. Not paying attention to what you’re responding to. Going to run off for a while before I make more of a hash of my comments.

  42. murality

    Hey, I’m wearing a button down shirt with two button down breast pockets right now, so leave off, eh?

  43. S.Luggo

    [re=203704]murality[/re]: Point taken.
    A flap pocket on your shirt is essential to avoid jabbing yourself in the eye with the glass stem of your crack pipe should you go head-over-heels on your mountain bike at someplace like, to pick at random, you know, like, Camp David for example, also.

  44. OzoneTom

    The gestalt of Laura’s portrait reminds me of Cher’s late mother’s in that really excellent “Emma” adaptation “Clueless” by Amy Heckerling.

  45. S.Luggo

    [re=203759]gliberal[/re]: With a engraved sconce of the police report.

    But putting that in the print would be mean. Teenage accident. Plus she’ll never reach her husband’s body count in Iraq no matter how wildly she drives. Hope.

  46. RobPetrified

    [re=203505]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:
    He is.
    And Lauras breasts haven’t looked that perky since she blew that football hero under the high school bleachers.

  47. S.Luggo

    [re=203778]lumpenprole[/re]: Plus the background screaming of Abu Ghraib prisoners adds a certain piquant insouciance to Cheney’s video.

  48. BerkeleyFarm

    Laura should take a hint from the painter and pick a new shade of lipstick. The super-dark stuff I see in all the recent pix makes her look like the Joker (Cesar Romero vintage).

  49. Dindc

    This is not an original… I saw this painting for sale at the San Jose Flea Market back in 1983. Intrigued by its grotesqueness, I inquired about its provenance, only to be informed by the vendor (hawker) that said “painting” had been acquired at a garage sale in nearby Cupertino.

    I regret not inquiring further.

  50. Vartan84

    I like Laura’s, it is graceful or some junk..
    I hate W’s. Eww what a disgrace to add to the presidential portrait gallery. It looks like they painted the inside of a doctor’s waiting room (FILING CABINET AS A BACKGROUND?! That must be a presidential first! Maybe to show where the real good intelligence was hidden all along?), added a nice flowering plant for color, and then cut out Bush’s face from a magazine and pasted it on the painted body. Seriously, it is like the worst painting (of a President, this year) ever.

  51. A Geek Tragedy

    [re=203544]Perrys Mollycoddler[/re]: “Meat is hung; men are hanged” “Yes. We will hang him. Then he will be hung”: Terry Pratchett , one or other of those books of his, from memory

  52. DoctorCulturae

    Some enterprising chap or chapstress should take the painting and reproduce it so it adheres to the bottom of a toilet bowl. After repeated “usage” and flushings the picture should waste away, biodegradably of course. Perhaps with the line printed below: Thanks for the memories, thinking of you.

  53. nominally deciduous

    [re=203771]RobPetrified[/re]: I was hoping that I wasn’t the only one who looked on the First Lady with lust in my heart (where is Jimmy Carter these days anyway?).

  54. sanantonerose

    [re=203533]S.Luggo[/re]: I was gonna offer up trompe l’oeil.

    And Laura’s eyes are simply not slitty enough.

  55. Scaggsvillain

    Laura is fer sher no Campbell Brown, but she is, without a doubt the hottest 1st Lady in the past 100 years. At least. Who’s hotter? Tell me. Only one that comes close, IMO, is Jackie-O and she falls significantly short.

  56. Cord

    [re=203976]Scaggsvillain[/re]: Hot while they were first lady or hot in the past? Hillary had some hotness in the past: http://blogs.salon.com/0002007/images/hillaryrodhamat19.jpg , but then she became a working hippie and she left it all behind. I agree Jackie-O falls short (she just had money and money but style & a hairdresser). Helen Taft was a hottie too. I’m just jokin though. The Office of the First Lady is effin disgraceful and unhot.

Comments are closed.