Wonkette
Narcissistic personality disorder victim and actual clown Rod Blagojevich is about to speak out to the media for the first time, except for the few occasions when he’s told the media to get off his lawn. What will he say? Has he in fact TALKED to Rahm Emanuel, therefore making Emanuel (”The Democrats”) a crook? Eh. We are watching CNN and they have a live stream here for the -4 of you with jobs.
2:57 — There are a few minutes left, so whatcha gonna do? Known chef Ken Layne has a culinary suggestion: “you know what is awesome? triskets with cheddar cheese all cooked up like the dickens.” MMHMM.
2:58 — CNN gal says that he plans to speak for 60-90 seconds. BEST LIVEBLOG EVER.
2:59 — She also says that there are about 100 “sweaty reporters” in the press conference room. This is common.
3:00 — Oh god now Rick Sanchez is taking over, from Mexico, talking about some dead white girl in Florida. “The other big story is Governor Blagojevich,” he adds.
3:01 — Some guy is giving the thumbs up to the CNN camera. Rick Sanchez wants to know what that means.
3:01 — Blago’s press secretary says there will be no questions. She looks like a real piece of work, Jesus. And young! She could very well be Dana Perino’s 24-year-old sister. She is counting down from 10. She finishes counting down from 10 and nothing happens. She is useless.
3:02 — They keep showing this footage of Blago jogging in the snow, he looks hilarious. Must find the YouTube of this, after the rapid fire press conference.
3:04 — HAHAHAHA, they are showing “highlights” from Rick Sanchez’s Twitter on the crawl. They are all misspelled and one was demanding that he expose the war crimes of Dick Cheney! Oh Jesus you all NEED TO GO TO HIS TWITTER AND WRITE FUNNY SHIT, GO.
3:05 — “bagelsscareme” is the latest Twitter commenter.
3:06 — AHHH IT’S BLAGO.
3:07 — He speaks IMMEDIATELY after coming out.
3:07 — “I will fight I will fight I will fight.” He says three times, then puts his head down as though he might cry. Oh my god he is INSANE.
3:08 — He’s not quitting because of “30-second sound bites.” Stares at podium again. He’s going to go on a shooting spree!
3:09 — He quotes Rudyard Kipling, a racist. “Take on the white man’s burden,” he says. Not really.
3:10 — He is “dying” to get his story out and he is “lonely.” He will kidnap everyone in the room.
3:10 — His ally, “the truth,” will save him in the end. He is nuts. He is really nuts. And amazing. And sounds like a fairy.
3:11 — Ha ha, first thing Rick Sanchez says afterwards, “The Kipling poem he was quoting was ‘If.’” Thanks Rick. Are you all saying hilarious things on his Twitter???
3:12 — This Twitter update thing has been appearing on the crawl constantly: “naturalkinks: RICK!!! I got word today that I have tickets to the inauguration next month!!! Congratulate me!”
3:18 — Here’s a funny video of Blago jogging, with a sweaty newspaper reporter trying to keep up.
And that ends our liveblog.
I got my fried hobo sandwich and a glass of spoiled milk–let’s do this.
Needs more hummos recipes.
“I am not a crook!”
no no no- creme cheese with grape jelly on triscuits!
So its over then?
Blago killed that girl in Florida? This dude is prolific.
Is that a dark blue stripe on his jacket? Or is he getting a reach-around?
I think you mean “Triscuits”…right?
I can’t wait for sixty seconds of vague denials, I just can’t wait any longer. Would it help if I combed my hair in an appalling manner, better to empathize with the biggest crook since that other one, and the five ones existing concurrently?
Is he naked? He’s not naked, is he? I’m a busy person here, I don’t want to waste my time.
Waaa! the link to livestream doesn’t work!!! Me wanna see a clown!!!
The anticipation is constipating.
Dang, Ken, that sounds taste-tee! Imma make some to go with my lunchtime Caesar salad and Blaggy denials.
broken stream link above, it’s actually here: http://www.cnn.com/video/flashLive/live.html?stream=stream1
I love the general sense of frenzy around this particular liveblogged event. Blago’s only talking for 90 seconds! You’re on, dude from the Tribune, for exactly 45 seconds! Rick Sanchez is speculating as fast as he possibly can!
Blaggo killed Caylee?
That sounds about right.
remember that mark foley b-roll they played eternally, with him in the purple tie? i hope it;s like that, but, you know, not quite so gay.
Fight, Blaggy! Fight! Fight!
He’s dying to show us how innocent he is.
Just not today.
He’s quoting Kipling?
WTF?
Someone ask him about his hair!
And the dead white girl!
Do it!!!1! It iz important!!
Once you quote Rudyard Kipling you know you’re guilty.
The mother#%@** is lonely.
Sad.
Quote more poetry, buddy.
when will he drop the f bomb?
Mr Frost, if the Governor does it it is not a crime.
OMG I thought he was going to go full Kipling on everyone’s ass. But he forgot how it ends. (”You’ll be a man, my son, blah blah blah.”
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT FIGHT\!@!!!!@!!~!!!!!!one!!
It’s a good thing my children are assumed innocent until proven guilty, cause otherwise they’d have gone up the river a long time ago.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays?
And Kipling quotes?
Wallace says this “takes the cake”.
I have to agree, Chris.
These 2 attorneys look like mob guys.
I gotta admit, Blago has balls. Although the Kipling quote was odd; kind of like having Tony Soprano quote Robert Frost.
Healthcare is on his mind. But that hospital is going to have to pay through the nose for it. ‘Cause it’s golden.
chascates: they are.
Wait the Blogovoyeur killed that little girl in Florida? Did he show up on a surveillance vid in that Aruba casino, too? Damn! Where’s Campbell Brown not that Greta Van Susteren has abandoned us?
Oh. Right. SHE abandoned us, too. I have SUCH separation issues right now.
will Campbell come back if we promise to be nice?
Wallace thinks Blago is vile.
He’s making THAT perfectly clear.
He is “dying” to get his story out and he is “lonely.”
This is clearly a coded message to his Aryan Brotherhood friends inside Joliet to make room for him in the shower when he comes.
Today we are all Rod Blagojevich. ‘Cause he’s our governor and he’s lonely. LET HIM BREATH!!
Blago must’ve been channeling Jim Jones - direct quote:
“I got my claws, I got cutlasses, I got guns. I got dynamite. I’ve got a hell of a lot to fight. I’ll fight. I’ll fight, Ahhhhhh, Ahhhhhh, I will fight. I will fight, I will fight, I will fight.”
Him: “Do you like Kipling?”
Her: “I never kippled, you naughty boy.”
Someone should throw a bunch of fake bills on the podium and watch these two kill each other for them.
sure, he’s saying all this, but what he’s thinking is “fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.” nonstop.
chascates: sk1win: This interview with Blagojevich is over the top!
http://punkeconomics.blogspot.com/2008/12/rod-just-wont-leave-me-again.html
But what did Blago’s toupee have to say at the press conference?
The public demands answers!
Oh, don’t bring up Harry Truman! Bush is using him.
Anyone expect a Bud Dyer?
All I see is not-black Tracy Morgan really yelling and getting into it. I think I need a “trisket”. Is that like a cross between a brisket and a trinket?
And now they go back to their ’social club.’
http://www.devilducky.com/media/41218/
Hey, a press conference is a fucking valuable thing. Well, I guess some are less valuable than others.
oh…he’s on regular cable?
i thought it was pay-per-view.
With his Elvis fetish, why isn’t Rod doing jujitsu (or Croat-jitsu, for that matter) instead of jogging? Ah, maybe his memory needed the jogging…
ph7: I’m glad he didn’t pull that stunt — I’m not able to watch it live.
You go, Blago. Fight The Power. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMO7vo8E0IE
orestek: At least he makes the trains run on time. Palin/Blaggy 2012.
You know what though? Those pita chips called Nancy’s or something from Costco. Oh my lorud. Those are the best ever ever ever. With cheese or plain or anything. Don’t eat too many, or you will bloat up like a dead cow.
And still there is no Blaggy Blingee.
Mustang: “Stacy’s”?
SayItWithWookies:
Don’t skip this gem from the Sun-Times gossip column:
Sneed hears Gov. Blagojevich displayed bizarre/unusual behavior during his arrest by the feds last week.
• • To wit: The governor, a relentless runner, reportedly surprised feds when, upon entering his home, he began jogging in place — and then lying down in the fetal position. He reportedly repeated the frenetic exercise several times.
• • The upshot: The feds reportedly let him have at it and then said, “Let’s go.”
http://www.suntimes.com/news/sneed/1337760,CST-NWS-SNEED18good.article
http://www.suntimes.com/news/sneed/1337760,CST-NWS-SNEED18good.article
obfuscator: Oh yeah! Those are the chips I’M talkin’ about!
oh, I am so glad that I was working at gainful employment while this was on, and missed
the “live feed” of his lunacy.
he is right about one thing: no, r-blob, you are not being hounded out of
office b/c of 15-second sound bites. you are being hounded out of office because
of YEARS OF INVESTIGATIONS THAT HAVE SHOWN WHAT A VILE CROOK YOU ARE.
here’s what I want to know: how did this guy get elected governor, and more than once?
did the morons who kept voting for george pataki in NY migrate to IL for these elections?
Blago is a douchnozzle, and a douchewibbler, and any other douche- word Sarah Silverman can think of.
Why can’t that douchemuzzle just go away and stop embarrassing himself, his state and his party?
For some reason, it actually feels kind of nice, for a change, to be able to admit that a Democrat, for a change, is the one guilty of being a douchefonziebear. Let’s all (verbally) tear this douchecracker to bits, and Republicans can feel free to pile on the bandwagon. Seriously, Blago is a douche.
Poor Mark Felt is already yesterday’s news.
chascates: Incorrect, the trains do not run on time, though It’s only partially Rod’s fault. But at least seniors get to ride for free.
BTW, I was outside of the “Blue Room” when the Governor came in, he did not look like a happy man, I’ve seen him a number of times, and I can’t think of a single time when he looked that pissed.
Wow. Blago has totally convinced me he is innocent of the charges. How could the hours of damning audiotape have made me think any thing else?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Take on the white man’s burden,
Send forth the best ye breed.
HedonismBot: mmmmm…douchecracker
Can someone explain to me why this guy almost always wears Black Turtlenecks?
I really get the impression he is some grade schooler who thinks he can keep stalling until the school bell rings
Hmmmph! I still say its his hair thats pulling the strings.
hey, where’s part II of this liveblog?
“He’s good!” is totally code for “Kill him!”