Al Franken Winning (For Now!) In MN

  lizard people

This recount has been going on since before numbers were invented.Your faithful Star-Tribune has a little ticker dealy on their front page and look, Al Franken is ahead by nearly 250 votes! The Coleman v. Franken recount has been going on since when, the Carter administration or so? Are both of these people even still alive, or have they been replaced yet by Adam Sandler and a Flowbee? [Star-Tribune]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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66 comments

  1. shortsshortsshorts

    I hate to say this again, but Trig can be blamed for this, somehow.

    Also, there is a banner-ad under the post telling me I went to High School in Pleasanton, CA. Pleasanton sucks, other then the fact that they have a B.A.R.T. stop. So there’s that.

  2. AngryBlakGuy

    …hahaha, you can no longer make fun of us Floridian for not knowing how to count! Thanks a lot Minnesota!

  3. TGY

    [re=203125]bago[/re]: This is one of those ‘pillage-before-burning’ things, yes? I always mess those up.

  4. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=203137]jodyleek[/re]: For some reason the Great Godzilla/Mothrah fight is looming over your comment.

  5. jagorev

    [re=203134]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Note how in Minnesota, votes are actually being counted. So, they’re still way ahead of Florida.

  6. freakishlystrong

    [re=203134]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Angry, as a fellow Floridian, they CAN make fun of us for our
    plural-ity…

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Antonin Scalia will see that this nonsense is stopped — as soon as he comes up with the proper everlasting core principle to justify it.

  8. WIDTAP

    [re=203129]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Come now. We all know that is the Dublin BART stop, and the Pleasantonites just borrow it.

  9. Serolf Divad

    What few realize is that under that polyurethane “skin” they’re wearing, the judges conducting the recount are actually Lizard People!!!

  10. Darehead

    Being low on Ambien, I’m trying to put myself to sleep by listening to the live coverage. Not working. Too interesting. They sound so professional and earnest, and yet there are the smirks and snickers too. And Franken won the ballot that had Jesus and God all over it!

  11. bfstevie

    This is an outrage! Nobody has mentioned Campbell Brown or Bill Kristol. BTW, they would make a cute couple.

  12. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    It would be going faster if everyone’s frozen fingers weren’t snapping off doing the recount.

  13. lolababy

    Go watch the feed. RIGHT NOW. RUN.

    Because for some reason, right now, the feed is just playing some guy explaining the humor behind the pictures of freaked out kids on Santa’s lap. What?

  14. Darehead

    [re=203147]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Commentators on the live stream said that in the case of the Senate, if the Senators dispute the validity of a vote, then they themselves can reject the “winner” and the thing goes to a re-vote.

  15. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=203149]Serolf Divad[/re]:
    That would explain the giant heat lamp over them.

    [re=203134]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    Hey, counting is hard when you’re wearing mittens. What excuse does Florida have other than the extra fingers and toes they have from inbreeding.

  16. Iggy Plop

    Hey! There’s a recount widget that you can put on the blog to keep up to the minute with the recount. Wonkette! DO NOT do this!! After the yucks from the Lizard People died down, it became abundantly clear that this idiotic vote-by-vote recount was going to bore us to tears before the inevitable lawyer fight extended the pointless conclusion for even more stultifyingly dull weeks of interminable boredom. Bored, bored, do not want to hear anymore. Yawn. It’s snowing out. Scotch. Naptime.

  17. Scarab

    You know this is kinda like a Chiefs – Bengals game.
    We hate both teams but we’re watching is because it’s the only game on.

  18. robanybody

    I wonder if he’ll make dick jokes from the Senate floor, as in “Screw you all, I’m a duly frickin elected Senator now, and I’ll make dick jokes when and where I please, so what did dead Dick Nixon say to Dick Cheney? You’re more of a dick than I ever was, that’s what he said. Now what was that about an auto bailout?”

  19. Scarab

    If Franken wins imagine the pressure on the other GOP senators.
    If just one more of them gets caught fellating a stranger then the Dems get their 60 seats.

  20. actor212

    Only in an SNL skit would the comedian *lose* to the corrupt politician with the banging hot beard wife.

  21. The Unfairman

    Iggy –

    What’s “idiotic” about a systematically, legally defined hand recount of every vote cast? Pretty simple, less than 1% difference in votes = hand recount. Every. Ballot. At least no one is suing to stop the recount.

    Everyone:

    Coleman is Flowbee. Check the ‘do.

  22. lolababy

    [re=203177]Scarab[/re]: Even more true when you take into account the rationalizing required for watching a game with teams you don’t care about, in that you try to figure out mathematically which team you should be rooting for based on how those wins or losses will ultimately help your team, or fuck up another team in your division or conference.

    But then you realize it’s one fucking senate seat, and you aren’t going to the playoffs, anyway.

  23. FreshCliches

    [re=203160]Serolf Divad[/re]: That, and I’m DYING to see a bitter Coleman family, gathered around the podium in a Santorum-style meltdown.

  24. Neilist

    [re=203142]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s “Mothra,” Shorts. And I have two framed Toho movie posters (Mothra and Destroy All Monsters) to provide it.

    Speaking of crappy films: The Day The Earth Stood Still re-make sucks harder than the massive black hole at the center of our galaxy.

    (And no, that was not a Condi Rice reference. I said “massive black hole,” not “massive black ‘ho.”)

  25. sexytime

    Suck it Norm. Now you can finally fulfill your destiny and start a deodorant brand named after you.

    Honey, is that the new Flame from BK?

    No, it’s my Norm Coleman.

  26. TeddyS

    By the weekend, Minnesota is expecting a high temp of zero degrees and a low of around minus sixteen. It’s too damned cold to count ballots. Let Nate take care of it.

  27. facehead

    [re=203167]lolababy[/re], [re=203160]Serolf Divad[/re]:

    FUCK IT! WE’LL COUNT THE VOTES LIVE!! WE’LL COUNT EM LIVE GOD DAMMIT!!

  28. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=203233]WadISay[/re]:
    I took the “outlook brightens for GOP” to mean that a busload of new pages had arrived at the capital.

  29. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=203216]FreshCliches[/re]:
    Yes! After being subjected to election commercials every half hour from Norm’s little brat telling us what great father he is, that would be sweet.

  30. Come here a minute

    “Opposed same sign.” WTF? Is that some kind of Minnesota nice thing so they don’t have to say “nay”???

    I think there are cookies on the table. Mmmmmmmmmmmm…cookies.

  31. sarcasticusername

    i think this recount kerfuffle website is my new favorite internet plaything. the only reasonable conclusion to be drawn from all this: Norm Coleman is an IDIOT!

  32. sarcasticusername

    oh and why don’t these silly people know how to vote? how hard can it be to fill in a bubble; did these people not partake in the great academic tradition of american public education, that is the #2 pencil bubble filling exam?

  33. facehead

    The live feed is pretty good. At one point they started to refer to the people representing Franken as “Team Lizard” (fur realz).

  34. hockeymom

    Flowbee?
    Get with it…Al’s running against the Blow and Go….a device actually INVENTED by Laurie Coleman.

  35. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=203284]facehead[/re]: If I had known that writing some stupid name onto a ballot would have become an incredible MEME, I probably would have been a bit more creative in the voting booth.

  36. mookworthjwilson

    [re=203285]hockeymom[/re]: i think they know that…that’s why they replaced franken with sandler and the blow and go with teh flowbee…it’s a common theme kinda thing…

  37. actor212

    [re=203143]norbizness[/re]: With any luck, they’ll catch Steve Guttenberg squatting under the podium, too.

  38. Thegreatbacon

    Only in Minnesota would it because so outrageously dull and scandal-free (the recount, not Norm Coleman).

  39. Gleep!

    Can someone get some more pictures of Mrs Coleman? I’ve got some conservative milf fantasies to work out but am too lazy to look for em myself

  40. facehead

    [re=203287]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: If Woody would have gone straight to the police, none of this would ever have happened.

    Yes, I am talking about my anthropomorphized erection.

  41. Bruno

    That Lizard People ballot was just the first indication that every quarter of MN is getting infected by the cold-blooded lizard people genes. And so far, they seem to be making more rational decisions than real people in MN. Let us express our thanks to the lizard gods!

  42. Bearbloke

    [re=203191]Scarab[/re]: Then #60 is as good as done… the whole world knows how popular anonymous cock-sucking is among self-hating Repugnican “faggots” (their preferred term, when referring to themselves or others).

  43. Bearbloke

    [re=203274]Come here a minute[/re]: Cookies and coffee and maybe some hotdish for lunch, because everyone in Minnesota is a Lutheran, including the Jews.

  44. franken_sux_ass

    Al Franken is a loser moron. He has yet to bring one intelligent issue to the table. He is trying to steal this election, and i wish he would just die and go to hell already.

Comments are closed.