Wonkette
Mobland Chicago is all about crime, dancing on chairs while wearing fishnet/tuxedo combos, corruption, and gruesome paintings of terrible, naked politicians. This one bar, the world-famous Old Town Ale House, is also known for co-owner Bruce Elliot’s whimsical smutty paintings, such as recent sensation “Naked Sarah Palin.” Now he has painted a naked Rod Blagojevich, wearing (of course) an orange jumpsuit, but it’s around his ankles as he is being raped in prison. Somebody please go over there and snap a photo; meanwhile here is the delightful parachuting Blaggy painting by Lauri Apple. [Chicago Tribune]
ANAL VIRGINITY IS A PRETTY FUCKING IMPORTANT THING. YOU DON’T JUST GIVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT AWAY.
His name works perfectly into the chorus of that tune “Rock Me Amadeus”, so I’m just going to keep singing that all day.
“…Blagojevich Blagojevich, Bla-Go-Jevich…”
(you’re welcome)
This is why I’m glad my state doesn’t have nude beaches.
As a former State’s Attorney, Rod the Mod would be in permanent protective custody.
This will be a testament to the power of Wonkette. Because you know damn well that someone is on their way over there, in the middle of a nastyass storm that warrented the presence of Jim Cantore, to get this picture.
“Now he has painted a naked Rod Blagojevich, wearing (of course) an orange jumpsuit, but it’s around his ankles as he is being raped in prison”
BRB, I can’t stop repeating and guffawing, must get outside before am hauled away. And yes, someone please get a damn picture!
magic titty:
He was a Gov’ner
And he lived in the big city
It was Chicago, was Chicago
Where he did everything
He had debts, for he grafted
But all the candidates loved him
And each one shouted:
Come on and pick me Blagojevich
Remember, we’re still negotiating to get Blaggy to resign live on my show (8pm Weeknights CNN). We’re going to request that he remain clad for the duration, however.
The likelihood of the resignation itself isn’t looking that good right now.
Hugs n’ kisses.
shortsshortsshorts: To answer the question you asked me in a thread yesterday, which I just read, I got banned a while ago for being rude to other commenters (something that was definitely true), but when I got let back into the club the magic was gone. So now I mostly lurk, especially since I often find myself resisting the urge to do the shit that got me banned in the first place.
Anyways, politicians go to prisons that have chefs, golf courses, xboxes, and mail-order hookers, so this painting will never become a reality. This is sad for the world, but good for my digestion.
Nigerian Business Executive: see, I think Rod and Madoff should go to real prisons-especially Madoff. He ruined a lot more lives than a person who kills 1 person or sold some coke to someone else.
Nigerian Business Executive: Do not listen to these other cretins. Insult as necessary (within the realms of the terms of service posted on Joe the Forum).
finallyhappy: No arguments from me on that. My digestion is happy because I won’t ever have to actually see Blago nekkid. Guess I should have been clearer.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m so out of practice? How should I begin. Um … you’re … er … gay! Wait, I’m gay. That’s not an insult at all. That’s a compliment. Damn!
shortsshortsshorts: I would like to request that at a minimum, you capitalize the “C” in cretins when you refer to us.
Shorts: If there is any anal virginity in your town it had better come at a high price.
Campbell-on-CNN: Alas, I fear Blago is full of more bias and bull than even you can handle, such is the power of his hair.
I’m, no joke, 2 blocks from the Old Town Pub right now. I can smell the perversion of artistic license from here.
Bruce Elliot (his real name, sort of, if you don’t count all his other real names) has established himself as a true triple threat at the Ale House. How many people become artists after successful careers as a professional sports heckler (once picked up and warned by Wilt Chamberlain, he was so effective) and golf hustler? I’m sure Bruce painted the slammer scene from memory and needed no family members (you should pardon the expression). It’s good that the Trib wrote up his painting on the walls at the Ale House, because the customers were not likely to notice. The Ale House is open from about midday to 4 a.m., 5 a.m. on Saturday nights, and can vary from a friendly neighborhood tap to a full-blown Fellini movie starring some of Chicago’s better known literary lights. Bruce brings a Genet touch to the scene and is continuing the Ale House tradition of the owner’s husband being something of a Brechtian raconteur; I profiled his predecessor Art Klug in the Chicago Reader after he gave me the most disjointed interview in history, thinking it would be too confusing to use. They understand Wonkese at the Ale House, trust me.
lawrenceofthedesert: “They understand Wonkese at the Ale House, trust me.”
Sprechen Sie Ass-Fucking?
I’m not sure about what artwork they display, but you can go to the Fifty/50 on Divison street and order the The Dirty Governor” martini. It’s made from “Effen” vodka, olive juice and pimientos. But no olives — they were stolen.
Campbell-on-CNN: We miss you Campblell. We miss your 60 ft tall image hovering over us, making us feel guilty for all the smutty comments we post here. You tried to make us better people and we never appreciated it.
Guppy06: The Ale House exists on a different metaphysical level than the carnal. I once described it in print as a singles bar for people who don’t really want to get lucky. To put it another way: if you go to the end of the world, you can see the Ale House from there. And I stand corrected — ambitious new owner Toby has expanded the Ale House hours, with bartender Howie running the 8 a.m. breakfast club. That means you could go to whatever replaced Jeff’s Laugh-In at 4 a.m., have food breakfast and come right back at 8 for Ale House breakfast. Gee, no more parties on Mike Tuohy’s roof (of course, she’s dead and might not be as much fun). Good thing I stopped going 17 years ago, or I might be like Mike. As for anal sex, I believe the Constitution deems us free to pursue life, liberty and happiness; if elected, I will appoint many Clinton cronies and go to Hawaii for Christmas, because who wouldn’t if they could?
Guppy06:
Ist das nicht Frau Blingen Noonan? Ja, das ist Frau Blingen Noonan!
Ist sie nicht ein Lizard Volken? Ja, sie ist ein Lizard Volken!
O du schone
O du schone
O du schone
FREI TRUCK NUTZ!!!!
(yes, I need to get out more)
Your wish. My command. (Semi-NSFW)
http://www.wbbm780.com/Old-Town-Ale-House-s-New-Blago-Painting-PHOTO/3527276
The Old Town Ale House is the bar you talk about if you lived in chicago in the 70s and 80s but dont anymore. If you went there in the 80s and you still live here you probably live in rogers park or lincoln square by now. And if you’ve since come here youve never heard of any of these places.
At least I’ve got something to be grateful for- he’s not being sodomized by Some Puertoricanguy or a “scary” (to Whitey) Mandingo. I dreaded the stereotype that, alas, I expected. (Who *doesn’t* get addickted to stereotypes?)
Any ideas who the other orange clad gentlemen could be? I love that the only man not smiling is the guard with his (short-armed) hand close to his crotch. He seems to be thinking “Oooh, who can I switch shifts with? That almost flat butt is perfect for my 4-incher…”
dannygutters: Generalities are always tricky, but there’s truth to what you say. Few at the Ale House lived in Old Town even 30 years ago, since the rich took over the neighborhood by the early ’70’s. I left Chicago in 2000, though I had left the bars in ‘91, and North Avenue’s bar scene surely had changed a bit by then, notably with the closing of O’Rourke’s. That makes Bruce’s shenanigans all the more delightfully retro, since they would have fit right into the 1975 Ale House — especially his subject matter and complete lack of artistic credentials or education.
chascates: sk1win: This interview with Blagojevich is over the top!
http://punkeconomics.blogspot.com/2008/12/rod-just-wont-leave-me-again.html
actor212: Haha, “The Cavity Search”.
The look on his face is priceless.
Is . . . everyone down with prison rape?
I know that people like to laugh at what they are uncomfortable with, but I never hear anyone objecting to this stuff. Even though people like Blago don’t end up in the dangerous prisons but the nice people that deal the drugs that you buy sometimes do.