Wonkette
As approximately 15 bajillion tipsters have excitedly emailed us, Sarah Palin’s daughter’s soon-to-be-baby-daddy’s mom has been arrested for something having to do with drugs. On the one hand, this is totally non-news, because trashy white ladies get arrested every day for — well, whatever Sherry Johnston was arrested for, nobody’s saying. Dealing pot? Cooking meth? Secretly growing a glorious garden of opium poppies in her back yard in scenic Wasilla, home to the world’s largest collection of dumpsters and gravel pits?
Troopers served the warrant at Johnston’s home at the “conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation,” said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.
Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance — generally manufacturing or delivering drugs — as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.
On the other hand, it is kind of amazing and spectacular that this woman could have been the Vice President’s daughter’s mother in law, assuming Bristol and Levi ever get married, which really, at this point why bother?
The most important question: Are any of these people really any worse than Roger Clinton, or Hillary’s terrible sleazy brothers? No. The only difference is that they are more fertile.
Levi Johnston’s mother hit with drug charges [Anchorage Daily News]
They should raffle off the opportunity to spend Christmas with that brood, to pay her bail. I’d bid on it.
Troopers in Alaska don’t care about weed, so I’m guessing a nosy neighbor found 100 sudafed boxes in the trash and called 911. She’s cooking speed. Mugshots will tell all.
i think i would have been more shocked if this hadn’t eventually come to light.
Haha, silly Wonkette. Poppies don’t grow in Alaska, since they just freeze solid in May. Also, it’s tough to break the permafrost. No, you’d need a greenhouse or something.
The Real America! I’m sure she is just selling meth because she has terminal lung cancer and wants to provide a good life for her kids when she’s gone.
i will put her mugshot at the top of my christmas tree
Myrrh, honey. Gold, frankincense and myrrh.
I guess she was just trying to make sure the kids at the baby shower REALLY enjoyed themselves…
Is there anything else these people won’t attempt to try in order to distract us from the fact that their babies don’t seem to get born the regular way?
This should put an end to the silly comparisons between Sarah Palin and Caroline Kennedy. No one in the Kennedy family would ever do drugs.
Do these same tipsters masturbate to TMZ?
If this is what passes as news in Merica I am going to ask them to turn off my wifii down here in the hobo jungle. I mean of course she sells meth, how do you think Sarah stays so fit and edgy?
I beleive its “Sarah Palin’s daughter’s soon-to-be-baby-daddy’s baby momma”
fuckin’ redneck
I am really wondering what Wonkette commenter Campbell-from-CNN would have to say about this, but I guess he or she must have been banned.
8pm CNN Weeknights — NEVER FORGET
is the second daughter knocked up yet? or maybe she’s trig’s mama? what a big bushel of whore apples, anyhow.
I’m still trying to get over the fact that Grandma is only 42.
Clearly, her drug-related activities are a campaign finance vehicle for the soon-to-be-announcing candidate, Tony Montoya.
…everyone is jumping to negative conclusions here, I’m sure its therapeutic meth.
Come here a minute: I say we form a group called Campbell Brown-shirts to deal with this travesty.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Wow…first funny Canmon comment ever…of course it still can be traced to a blind love for Cankles McPantsuit, but at least it’s funny.
Wasilla could be in Florida, except the beyond shitty weather…
Possibly when Sarah Palin was referring to “small-town values” she meant the cost of locally produced meth, rather than the expensive imported kind.
Vewol Mevemont: We can call them the Hotzies.
…at least we all now know why she named her son after jeans company. Quick, someone give Sarah Palin a drug test!!!
The commenters on that site are a sensitive lot.
“Let Sarah be Sarah!”
The tree does fall far from the apple.
Upon her arrest, troopers tuned up,
“Up against the wall, redneck mother….”
norbizness: Yes. Yes, we do.
Canmon (the Inadequate): No one in the Kennedy clan would be caught dead attempting to make their own. Every since Prohibition was repealed, they’ve had more than adequate funds to avail themselves of only the most primo shit.
I take it back. RFK Jr. is enough of a moral scold that he probably grows organic hemp and shit. ‘Course he has a reason for trying to relive 1968 every waking minute.
Look, her son was Mb>THIS CLOSE to having a sweet gig hanging out in the Naval Observatory. He was going to help get his whole family cushy government jobs. But when is mother-in-law tanked the election by opening her mouth, the family was left to find new ways to raise money, and folks in Wasilla need their drugs. Market economy folks, you sell what the people are buying.. Capitalism WORKS!!
This is just an off the wall theory, not based on anything like facts or stuff, but could this be the State Troopers’ (department of, also) revenge for Officer Wooten?
StephanieInCA: Stephanie, I am with you. It would be the most drugs I would have access to since my senior year in high school. Sarah was right, there is a lot to learn from the regular folk in Wasilla.
We shouldn’t jump to conclusions about Bristol’s mother-out-law. Maybe the meth is medicinal.
does this make sherry a DDMILILF?
Was this also on Grandparents.com? They break all the great Wasilla meth lab/teenage pregnancy stories and interviews now. It’s just nice to know that however low an opinion you have of the Palin clan, Wasilla, and the shotgun wedding, someone will always pop up to tell you “Not low enough, get it lower. ‘Meth lab granny’ lower.”
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Mom’s drugs would explain how Levi would be able to stand having Johnny-Mac cop a feel on the tarmac and handle sitting through all of mom-in-law-to-be’s speeches without puking his guts out or slitting his wrists.
Mom must make some really quality shit there, Levi! How about showin’ some love to the lower 48 and hooking us up with free samples???
re=202988]hockeymom[/re]: Did you see the picture of proud mom in the ADN? No way she’s using meth. On the other hand, if she’s 42, I’m Joe Biden. On the other hand, this is Wasilla…. Even an Anchorageite could see that coming.
Come here a minute: They say viral marketing doesn’t work….
Shit! Does anyone know of another meth hookup in Wasilla? TRIG CALL ME ASAP!!!!!1!
Baconcat: That is an understatement. I spent a summer in Alaska in the 80s and people were doing all sorts of crazy shit without getting arrested. BTW, I drove through Wasilla a couple of times and it was a tiny shithole with nothing going on. Now it is a bigger shithole filled with box stores and little else. It a shame, because the area around it is beautiful.
You realize this is only going to make the bitters like Palin even more.
I would urge the Wasilla prosecuter to give her a walk if she will testify that she was doing this as under contract from Levi’s future mother-in-law, who is paying off her clothing bill.
If meth Granny Sherry can make bail, she can still be in the front row at the wedding of her fuckin’ redneck high school dropout teenaged son to that goofy chick he knocked up because Granny Sarah wouldn’t tell her about birth control. So the wedding photo will also include baby Tree. A heart-warming Christmas story about forgivness, family love and values.
Great comment from and ADN news site:
What do you have at a Wasilla town meeting? Answer-almost a full set of teeth.
It’s news because her son impregnated the dotavpilf.
Yep, Sarah’s the “real deal” and just like Middle America…
TGY: Oh, you mean Wonkette made a joke? Hmmm, interesting….
Ya f*ck with me I’ll kick ass.
I’m sure she’s just a big fan of “Weeds” on Showtime…only with meth.
totally unrelated, but needs to be shared.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1h5UBeQcgjs
How long before we start hearing the ‘Every family has it’s own problems’ apologists again? I bet we’ll hear that again when Track comes back for Iraq and starts shooting people from a tower in Anchorage.
Has this been optioned for a TV show yet? Is Rahm talking to Ari about it? How about Miley Cyrus as Bristol and Dakota Fanning as Willow(or is that Piper-the young Abigial Breslin would have been perfect as the younger one)?
I smell a gubernatorial pardon.
Well this sheds some light on the church fire.
Bitch got snitched on by someone. Stupid cunt… couldn’t hide the shit from the cops. Shoulda’ve been more careful.
choinski: Actually, I believe Emily Post recommends “Baby-daddy Momma”
dano:
Wasn’t that called Breaking Bad?
Like George Tenet I blame the Hebrews…..Levi sounds mighty Jew-like to my evangelical ears!
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Thank you.
Man, and I thought I had embarrassing relatives from the frozen north. My North Western Pennsylvania hillbilly relations seem almost respectable compared to these snow billies.
ManchuCandidate: dano:
Wasn’t that called Breaking Bad?
Ha! I forgot about that show.
randomsausage: A. we never make the drugs ourselves B. We use orthodontia and periodontics- none of that missing teeth crap for us.
finallyhappy: I need some Hebrew small-talk. Going to a Hanukkah party tomorrow. All I know is the Adam Sandler song (I’m bringing Gin-and-tonica..hahaha) and the fact you lot killed baby jesus. I’m figuring that’s not going to get me very far.
All I can say is: “Bitch better have my money!”
let’s not forget her prior charges for child abuse. lovely family.
dano: Assuming the wedding goes through. The noose on Levi slowly tightens …
randomsausage: You know the kid was named for the jeans and not for the Jews. It beats being called “seven for all mankind” but real Americans don’t were those jeans.
Come here a minute: Not banned, just busy. This place is a bigger time sink than a staff meeting.
Hugs n’ kisses.
This kind of story gives substance abuse a bad name.
dano: Goobernatorial?
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a dude named Todd
With his wife Sarah Palin, had no clue but a nice bod
And then one day they were shootin’ at some food
And up from the left came a crusty old dude
McCain that is…Ensure drinker…Depends filler
Well the first thing you know, Sarah’s runnin’ for V.P.
McCain’s wife said, “You two don’t look so good to me!”
She said “Nieman Marcus is the place you gotta be”
Spent two hundred grand on clothes, but they’re fuckin’ hillbillies.
Snowbillies that is…next to Russia…no magazines
It’s finally time to say “Goodbye” to Sarah and her kin
Joe The Plumber fixed the outhouse, thank you for depositin’
You’re all invited back sometime to grand old Wasilly
To snort some meth and shoot some moose and be a hillbilly
Snowbilly that is…It’s cold!
Leave your shoes on
Come on back now, doggone it! *wink*
randomsausage: Talk about the millions you lost with Madoff - say “what a goniff putz”. Then talk about why circumcision is wrong and how a Jewish girl caused us to have George Bush as the prez for 8 years.
finallyhappy: Cheers. I can now look forward to spinning the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock
And where is Bristol’s baby, anyhow? Wasn’t she due, like, at the beginning of December? And wasn’t that the reason that Trig could not have possibly been her child–because she would have been pregnant with anther child when he was born?
hockeymom: Could be worse, she could be grandma to be at 32!
As a former Anchorageite, I can say with authority that Wasilla is hick even by hick standards. I bet you could find 36 year old grandmothers if you tried.
Campbell-on-CNN: Ha ha! Tony, I thought that might be you. I hereby amend my comment: we won’t be Campbell Brown-shirts, but Tony’s brown pants!
I am so totally getting into the Christmas spirit! Thank you Alaskan narcs!
bago: Seriously- There are plenty of families where grandma is 30 something- pregnant 14 and 16 year olds become a family tradition
from Mudflats:
If anyone is still bothering to watch reality TV, or soap operas, I really don’t know why. Quit wasting your precious time, and tune in to real life in Alaska. It’s far more dramatic and compelling, and you’ll get a lot more bang for your entertainment buck.
No word on the drug)s) in question. Pot? Meth? I’m thinking the latter, but who knows. I really thought alcohol was the drug of choice up there, but …
randomsausage: That Hamas ceasefire thing is giving my such shpilkes in my tsouris! Happy Channukah (pronounce it “HAH-Nook-Kah), and then ask where they will be putting the menorah.
As a goy (non-Jew and feel free to mention that as often as possible. It shows that you care.) this usually gets me by all but the most orthodox settings.
And Palin was almost a hare’s breath from the Presidency!
http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2008/11/wonkette_trig_p.html
I found Trig’s fansite which also doubles as ihatewonkette.com!! Only I can’t do a hyperlink for some reason!
lol McCain campaign vetting process lol
The boys of the Wasilla PD choir
Were singing “Bristol Bay”
And the bells were ringing out
On Christmas Day
God I wish I had time to write an entire Fairytale of Wasilla…
Holiday street-banners in Wassila, AK: “Merry Methmas to all, and to all a good pipe!” and “Happy Crystal - Meth is over here, if you want it.”
actor212: Also, don’t mention the war.
Oh, I do so love small town values. Neighbors helping each other out. A dope dealer who knows you by your first name.
Gotta be meth manufacturing- unless the law still (falsely) classifies weed as a narcotic.
Pallin’ around with drug dealers? You Betcha!
qwerty42: As much as I want it to be meth, that woman is clearly a hippie. Therefore, it must either be the pot or the magic mushrooms or the acid. I would bet negative five dollars on it.
First of all, Bristol’s tatas should now each have their own zip code. Just sayin. And if Palin was tweaking the whole freaking time, that would explain a lot of things.
assistant/atlas: It’s oxycontin. What a downer.
Mahousu: Here’s the article.
Mahousu: You must admit though:
Hillbilly Heroin is a proper fit…
Zaz Hollander, “Johnston’s arrest was oxycontin-related“, Anchorage Daily News, December 19th, 2008
Those Troopers’ bosses are soooo about to get fired…
Mustang: Love this comment at the site (who keeps spreading the rumor that we are liberals!):
Liberals the usial two faced hypotcrits and outright fruads they should all get a swift kick where it hurts
Since this was an ongoing investigation, I still say the meth lab in the Wasilla Bible Church was the cause of the fire. How else could a fire in that dump be worth in the millions unless it is the street value of some drugz? And what better accelerant is there than a drug fire and some meth-ed out freaks not knowing what to do next
Dear Sarah Palin,
Happy Holidays!!
Please don’t think that I have acceded to the War on Christmas.
No way.
I would love to wish you a “Merry Christmas!,” but I know that First Dude Todd is like one-1024th Inuit, so I felt TOLERANT enough to make sure that his people are included in my holiday greeting. Somehow, “Merry Christmas and Happy Walrus Tusk Day” sounds a little unwieldy, dontcha think??
You betcha!
I am so happy to hear about your daughter’s soon-to-be little bundle of joy (bastard).
You’ll have to forgive me; I can’t remember your daughter’s name (the pregnant one).
I know it’s a British place name.
Ramsey?
No.
Shrewsbury?
No, that’s your middle name, isn’t it?
Stratford-upon-Avon?
No, that’s much too literate for Wasilla.
Willie-in-the-Bum?
Oh wait, that’s not a place name… Isn’t that the nickname of your profligate third cousin who lives in (does) the Castro?
BRISTOL!
Anyway…
Bristol’s baby’s daddy’s momma’s (BBDM) got some issues, dontcha think?
You betcha!
As Cousin Willie-in-the-Bum might say:
“Merry ChrithMETH!!”
(Not to get too far off topic from Happy Walrus Tusk Day, but this meth stuff might explain the fire at the church – Just a chemical thought)
So…
Please don’t let BBDM’s six (6) felony drug charges bring down your Christmas or Tusk Day or whateverthehell it is you people celebrate in Alaska.
I figure that as long as you, as governor, arrange a photo-op and put the newborn bastard in a manger with some turkey beheadings in the background, EVERYTHING will be just fine.
Dontcha think?
You betcha!
Sincerely yours,
DinDC (Another Profligate Homosexual)
Hey hey, it looks like its not Meth but oxycontin. This is yet some other republican drug I’ve never heard of, or taken. Any idea what it does? I guess if Rush and all these snowbilly’s like it, its not my kind of high:
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/254/story/58245.html
But hey, let’s attack organically grown pot & shrooms because if God invented it, it must be bad. If a chemist invented it, it must be good
Well I guess Levi wasn’t lying when he said he was a redneck. Meth dealing mom definately qualifies. Do you think the wingnut/bitters will finally admit that it’s a good thing that these snowbillies didn’t end up anywhere near the WH? Of course not because at least they aren’t negroes with funny names. Better the white trash cracker cabal that is the Palins, then the chocolate caramel goodness of the Obamas. This is the true tragedy of racism and why racial transendence is necessary people.
Oxy or meth. It remains six (SIX!!) felony counts.
Mustang: Wow, those people sure have some anger issues. I am not sure if it is an inferiority complex or just the usual repressed homosexuality.
Dindc: You’re forgettin’ some of my favourite ones in jolly ol’ england:
Shepard’s Bush, Gallion’s Reach and the ever popular Cockfosters
Bruno: Do any of these towns have a Gropecunt Lane?
dano: Man, this is the family that will NOT go away. Srsly, your 15 minutes are up.
Bruno: “Cockfosters!!”
Well, at least we now have a name for the new bundle of joy (bastard).
trophy(forparticipation)wife: WIN!