Wonkette
Approximately 1400 million years ago in the Paleozoic era, when Hillary Clinton was running for President instead of Secretary of State, she was asked repeatedly if the Clinton Foundation would release its donor list. She always said, “Well, you’ll have to talk to my husband about that,” which was liberal doublespeak for “Fuck no.” Now after repeated threats from the Chicago mobster Barack Obama, the Foundation has released its donor list, which is over TWO THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED PAGES LONG. (Maybe that is why the Web page takes so frigging long to load?) Let’s see how many foreign governments were extorted by Bill Clinton to buy him blow jobs on Ron Burkle’s jet!
Holy zowie wow!
Saudi Arabia … the Cheneyite breakaway republic of Blackwater … also the notorious rogue nations of Norway, Italy, and Jamaica … plus the Dutch national lottery. This explains why Bill Clinton is always talking, in Dutch, about how a lottery “isn’t really gambling.”
Let’s see, who else. The sinister Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, that horny Canadian who impregnated Liz Hurley, plus Brunei, Kuwait, Qatar, and Oman.
Conspicuously absent from the donor list is the manufacturer of Truck Nutz — a travesty that will not soon be forgotten by the American people.
Anyhow, when Laura Bush runs for President in a few years and her husband has to reveal the list of donors to his Presidential “Library,” the list will be exactly the same because everybody is corrupt, ha ha.
Contributor Information [William J. Clinton Foundation]
Saudis, Blackwater Among Clinton Foundation Donors [AP]
Bush’s “Library” is spelled “Liberry”, thank you very much. And both R’s are backwards.
I’m sure Truck Nutz is there. I think you have to look under “Nutz, Truck”.
UNITAID: United Nigerian Insurgent Terrorist Anarchist Independent Demon-army.
And WTF is up with charities giving money to other charities? I mean, does it make any sense for me to start a charitable foundation and then give all the proceeds (minus my huge CEO salary and a few minimum-wage mailroom employees) to other charities doing the same damn thi — oh. Nevermind.
Hillzilla is obv a low-hanging whore apple, while Laura Bush is up at the top of the tree, where it is frigid.
Is there a listing for “White Ladies”?
Mark Penn is Microtrends - maybe he could use some UNITAID!
UNIT AID = V1agra
…CORRECTION: The”Paleozoic Period” is from 54o-250 million years ago! You are referring to the “Mesoproterozoic Period” which spanned from 1600-1000 million years ago.
I’m not too concerned with insanely rich people giving money to other insanely rich people, but I am pleased to note the absence of Campbell Brown.
I would not be surprised to see 11 of the 19 hijackers on this donation list.
SayItWithWookies: Charities giving to charities is analogous to the ‘funds of hedge funds’ industry. You pay someone to pick your hedge funds for you thereby paying at 2 fees, and maybe more if someone recommends you to the fund of hedge fund recommender.
That’s the kind of creativity that drives our glorious financial services industry.
In either case, you get fat bloated organizations (and CEOs) with multiple helicopters and limos at their disposal.
No Lizard People?
UNITAINT donated some scratch and sniff stickers!
So Mitch McConnell didn’t give them bailout monies?
“Stephen L. Bling”?? Cool.
…wow, he even received a few hundred bucks from the Hob-Goblin!
I think the money Truck Nutz paid Bill as their chief engineer and owner of the worlds only working model was listed on his tax returns as wages. So no worries, Dollar Bill hasn’t forgotten his peeps.
As proof I would point to the pair air fuck one is currently sporting, the the only jumbo jet sized truck nuts in existence.
How much money did The Human Fund contribute?
The Hunter Foundation? Is that the account name for the Bosnian snipers he hired to off the HillBot?
The ringtone on Bill Clinton’s cell is “Ayrab Money.”
I keep getting emails from the Dutch National Lottery. It appears I’ve won. I guess Billz did too?
Who is this Children’s Investment Fund Foundation in the 7-whore diamond circle, and how come those children are so rich?
Jet Nutz! The new Clintonion industry….
Obviously, Clinton got a large contribution from ASSAID.
The Children’s Investment Fund is a gigantic hedge fund in London of disgustingly massive wealth, no lie. That donation was like you flinging a quarter at a Mexican street urchin in Cancun. By children thet probably are referring to wealthy heirs to various corrupt corporate empires and royal thrones.
CEO of Texas Instruments? This is a conspiracy that goes as far as our childrens’ pre-calculus classrooms! Time to boycott calculators, and all math.
Sara, as an east-coast liberal and possible secular humanist, surely you are aware that the Paleozoic era was only 543 to 248 million years ago.
OzoneTom: You might fool some people with your pretty talk about your “Paleozoic Era,” with your 543 million years talk, but some of us know all the fossils they’ve “recovered” from that period were actually made by the same guy who did the moon walk and the props for “The Goonies.” Also, they found a tyrannosaur with a gold tooth. So how do you explain THAT, science guy?
New York nut-job Tom Golisano gave as much as…Saudi Arabia?!