Now that dying Ted Kennedy has forced his shy niece Caroline to become a Senator for the sake of the family name, the entire global media plans to exploit her (and maybe she will even cry!) These reporters in upstate New York, who probably all smell and have back hair, must learn how to talk to the shy lady, though. The shy lady will not respond if they whine/shout at her, “YOU’RE NOT TAKING ANY QUESTIONS? CAROLINE? QUESTIONS? CAROLINE? QUESTIONS? EXPERIENCE?” [YouTube]
WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE HANDLERS
December 18, 2008
{ 32 comments }
She is the Democratic Sarah Palin.
Maybe I’m missing something, but does this woman have any experience in politics? ANY? She is just some rich political debutante who has spent her life coddled by Kennedy money and luxury. Jimminy Jesus in a Porn Film!
Jim, do not make fun of others for having smelly back hair without first turning your judgment unto thyself.
“Where are you headed next?”
“The car.”
“…”
(Caroline exits.)
“Do you care to follow-up that c*nty comment with a rude hand gesture? Perhaps you want to make fun of my back hair? Geez, what a meanie.” (cries for America.)
and scene.
Reporter: Ms. Kennedy, are you afraid of the curse of Irish orthidonture?
Kennedy: Nyungnyungnyung.
Eh, probably just some Newman School student trying to be the next Larry King
You people just don’t know. Really. You’re all clueless and mean. Maybe if I tell you one little fact about C.K. that you’ve probably never heard you’ll shut up about her: Caroline Kennedy once slept on a 100 mattresses that had been piled up on top of a pea. And you know what? She woke up with a sore back.
Yeah. That’s right. I’ll bet you all are feeling like a bunch of real assholes about now!
So just shut up and let the lady be princess of New York as it was meant to be.
[re=202231]Monkey[/re]: She got Obama elected President of New York!
She’s not the first debutante debuting at number one with a bullet in the U.S. Senate. FSMer (that’s what they call Democrats in Minnesota) Al Franken is looking good to win a U.S. Senate seat in his first election ever.
[re=202229]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Andrew Sullivan will soon be questioning the maternity of her children.
[re=202244]Serolf Divad[/re]: The sore back had more to do with Patrick Kennedy being up there with her. But it was okay, he was on Ambien at the time.
[re=202250]Come here a minute[/re]: Caroline Kennedy also decided to run for Senate after looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggonit, people like me.”
Jeeze, did anyone see the way the press was pushing Madoff all over the street this morning. If the press kills anyone, I hope it’s him.
A small peek into my hell.
I don’t care what ya’ll say. Let’s get a nice society lady up in there. Who needs another pushy hack Senator from New York? Chuckles Schumer got that one covered. Was serious overkill with Hillz in there.
She couldn’t do interviews after a rigorous interview with Patterson. Needed to get straight into the shower.
It’s probably the first time she’s been Upstate (aka: north of Westchester) in her life.
[re=202290]villageatrois[/re]: Well, he kept staring at her with crossed eyes. I would be uncomfortable, too.
Yeah, she’s clueless. But is she any more clueless than, say, Richard Shelby or Jim Bunning.
Most of the Senate is a genetic backwater, so what’s the harm?
Would she have to be the senator of them too?
[re=202229]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I take it you haven’t read Ms. Kennedy’s excellent books on constitutional law and the bill of rights?
…
Didn’t think so.
[re=202231]Monkey[/re]: You’re missing something Monkey. A lot of something.
Personally, I admire the lady. I too am eagerly awaiting the day my unborn children grow up, go off to college and then come back and tell me what my life’s works should be. I am crossing my fingers for sexual reassignment doctor.
[re=202350]Delicious[/re]: I don’t like her, but I like her more than SnowBilly. I think we need a better name for her, but I’m too drunk on mulled wine right now. Suggestions?
[re=202379]Borat[/re]: Princess Insipid?
[re=202376]myra[/re]: Uh-oh, somebody’s in humorless mode. Wrong website; try HuffPo.
[re=202293]ella[/re]: if you live in the city westchester is considered upstate.
And she’s got to project that voice. Come on, CK! You would think she’s never had to yell for anything her life.
Experiences? Look fucker, she’s got or can easily acquire $70million experiences.
jesus christ, this isn’t algebra.
[re=202231]Monkey[/re]: You make “coddled” sound like a bad thing…
[re=202293]ella[/re]: Oh, nonsense. I’m sure she and mom took the limo to Saratoga Springs all the time for spa treatments. C’mon.
That distinctive horseyface gentriness has got to be good for some political whore-diamonds…if we can’t have Empire, might as well give it back to England…or Spain – they had some distinctive gene-pool malificients….
[re=202229]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
She is smarter than Sarah Palin. Kennedy is an attorney, writer, editor and serves on the boards of numerous non-profit organizations. She has written two Law Books In Our Defense: The Bill of Rights In Action and The Right to Privacy. So I am pretty sure she understands the constitution as being grammatically eloquent. Look at some of the Jack Ass’s that are and were Senators…Vetter, Craig, Santorum, Delay, Macaca Allen, Stevens. I think she can handle the Senate seat.
Oh, what the hell. How bad could she screw up?
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