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{ 67 comments }

AngryBlakGuy December 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

…don’t walk around Mark Penn with that stuff on, or your ass is grass!

JohnnyMeatworth December 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

I think I may buy some and mail it to Bush’s new digs in Dallas.

Capitol Hillbilly December 17, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Ha, take that, Red China, American ingenuity will conquer the world!

This, too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r-M9gipm9s

Serolf Divad December 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Great way to nail that fat chick at work you’ve been pining over.

facehead December 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

My faith in the free market is restored.

Serolf Divad December 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Er… “pining for” I think is the expression.

PoliticalGraffiti December 17, 2008 at 3:21 pm

oh perfect, now i dont have to actually has sex in the vat of grease fat from BK, i can just squirt a little on my partner and we’re practically there

EnBuenOra December 17, 2008 at 3:21 pm

And all this time I’ve just been carrying a freshly flame broiled ribeye in my pocket.

shortsshortsshorts December 17, 2008 at 3:22 pm

It’s lunchtime here in SF and the burger bail-out is looking more and more necessary.

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:22 pm

I suppose it’s better than McDonald’s scent – acne cream mixed with the tears of an exploited underpaid illegal workforce. I’m loving it.

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:24 pm

I think it’s a conflict of interest for Campbell Brown and this to be advertised on the same site, given Ms. Brown’s “No Bull” stance.

Jukesgrrl December 17, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=201200]Serolf Divad[/re]: Many who are pining at work are pining “over.” Their creepy little eyes are peering over the walls of the cubical every five minutes.

stopmebeforeitypeagain December 17, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Making book on how fast this turns into a Campbell Brown thread.

N8Ma December 17, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Actually I know several people for whom this would actually work…

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=201203]PoliticalGraffiti[/re]: Please, tell me more, and make a sizzling sound with your dirty dirty mouth.

Theodorick Of York December 17, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Flame is already a huge success.
Who wouldn’t like the scent of flame broiled meat?
The Onion Rings Douche…not so much.

WIDTAP December 17, 2008 at 3:28 pm

Sign of the new economy. Now you can smell like dead meat too.

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Thank you, Science, for making sure we can all smell like Axe Body Wash and tainted beef while we wait a little bit longer for that AIDS vaccine.

Cape Clod December 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm

If you wear Flame, make sure you take along some The Bacon Double Cheeseburger condoms.

Vanity Smurf December 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Hey, some people like to smell a man’s meat. I’m looking at you Charlie Crist.

Capitol Hillbilly December 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=201210]Dramatist[/re]: No, the smell of flame-broiled meat drives her wild. She just told me so.

N8Ma December 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Come to think of it, this would probably work on me, too. I love whoppers.

obfuscator December 17, 2008 at 3:32 pm

Why waste your money on that shit? We’ll all smell like flamebroiled losers in a year or so when BK Grilljockey is the best job left in our terrible economy.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 17, 2008 at 3:33 pm

In terms of scentological revolutions, this ranks right up there with Brut. And by rank, I mean really rank.

Crab1 December 17, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Ladies love to smell my meat.

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Unfortunately, 24 hours later it smells like the Burger King dumpster.

Supernatural_Delegate December 17, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Just what i need to get Campbell Brown to stare at me for 8 hours a day…
What’s that? Oh it’s working…

RobPetrified December 17, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I wonder if that “hint of flame-broiled meat” is the same scent they use in the BK restuarants?
The scent that suggests that the sandwiches may actually taste like…something, maybe even meat!
(they don’t)

Vanity Smurf December 17, 2008 at 3:37 pm

[re=201225]N8Ma[/re]: Size queen.

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:37 pm

“Fire Meets Desire” is a terrible label. Now I just think about couples making love in their beds and then the creepy giant-headed Burger King character sneaks in and sets fire to the comforter, laughing maniacally…

GIJoeIce December 17, 2008 at 3:42 pm

I’ve always wanted a woman who gets sexually aroused by the smell of grease. But Mark Penn kept stealing them all.

obfuscator December 17, 2008 at 3:43 pm

This stuff probably smells like the inside of the King’s headmask.

Dramatist December 17, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=201250]GIJoeIce[/re]: But where was he putting their bodies? WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH THEIR BODIES?!!!

johnbpt December 17, 2008 at 3:45 pm

If I weren’t already a vegetarian this would have sealed the deal.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 17, 2008 at 3:47 pm

“Where’s the Beef?”

obfuscator December 17, 2008 at 3:48 pm

This stuff should fly off the shelves, as all the women I know moisten instantly upon getting a whiff of a Burger King employee.

CuntryFirst December 17, 2008 at 3:48 pm

You do realize fat people will eat this, right?

nolo December 17, 2008 at 3:58 pm

If you haven’t gone to the website, don’t. I did, and I’ll never have sex again.

Advocatus_Diaboli December 17, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Nice to see (hear) the d-bag Isaac Hayes got some work.

Dr. Spaceman December 17, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Warning: Product may attract horseflies, coyotes and bears. Discontinue use if traveling to remote regions of New Guinea, Fiji or Sumatra. Burger King and its parent corporation, Burger King Holdings Corporation, disclaim all liability for victims of cannibalism in survival situations.

WIDTAP December 17, 2008 at 4:09 pm

So if I wear this while my wife dresses up in an Arby’s employee outfit is there some sort of super sexual gratification, or does that only come if there is a clown in a yellow outfit in the room watching us do it?

Borat December 17, 2008 at 4:18 pm

So if Burger King goes under for this stupidity, please don’t tell me we have to bail them out, millions of jobs rely on the Kang, it will lead us into the next great depression, yawn, etc.

Monsieur Grumpe December 17, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Also doubles as a vegan repellant.

Borat December 17, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=201309]Borat[/re]: I can’t even figure out which is more marketing gone stupid. This or SUVs.

I know maybe we should have W. study the data for a couple months

StephanieInCA December 17, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Mmmm. Meaty.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us December 17, 2008 at 4:31 pm

You can use it to hunt for the rare K-Lo. Much like deer hunters use female deer pee to attract the bucks.

Larry McAwful December 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Wear that stuff and you’ll get a lot of pussy. Specifically you’ll get tabbies, calicos, Persians, Siamese, Manx, tortoise shells…

TGY December 17, 2008 at 4:35 pm

Many men make hamburgers with their armpits, after all.

greensprout December 17, 2008 at 4:36 pm

[re=201281]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Ain’t he already in the big Burger King in the sky?

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 17, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=201280]nolo[/re]: OH. MY. GOD. The barely draped King is possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in weeks.

Warren Terror December 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm

So, you spray it on your Whopper, right?

Guppy06 December 17, 2008 at 4:39 pm

How about a Sonic’s scent that smells of jailbait on wheels? I’d buy that.

The Chick-Fil-A scent would probably smell like Utah.

Anyway, how about bringing back the cheap-o video game dealy where you get to stalk people in a freakish Mardi Gras mask?

Borat December 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm

What is a Ricky’s retailers, where I can pick up the limited edition? Oh forget it, I don’t want to ever know

actor212 December 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

Flame…because when I go out on a date, I want my woman to be thinking about short-order chefs and acne.

gjdodger December 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

I’m marketing a new Campbell Brown spray. “Bias meets De Bull.” I gotta do something, after I got beat to the punch on Hope on a Rope.

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm

[re=201348]Guppy06[/re]: I rather imagine the Chick-Fil-A scent smells like dirty wet socks left in a pile to moulder for about a month. In other words, like Waco.

nolo December 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm

[re=201345]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Yeh, I told you not to go there . . .

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm

[re=201397]nolo[/re]: I admit, I was lulled into complacency, caught off guard by the roaring fire, the strawberry, the flickering candles. And then, that horrible horrible thing appeared.

aleks December 17, 2008 at 7:02 pm

[re=201367]gjdodger[/re]: I don’t think the Secret Service will be amused by that phrase.

aleks December 17, 2008 at 7:12 pm

I like to think my meat already smells sexier than the King’s.

bitchincamaro December 17, 2008 at 7:24 pm

Meh. I’d rather wear that than P-Diddy’s “I Am King”. What next, “He Has Risen” by Tupac?

S.Luggo December 17, 2008 at 8:48 pm

[re=201222]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Win.
[re=201193]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: Besides Barney and his bitch, Kay Bailey Hutchison and all the Mekscan trash pickers and teenage zombies for 50 miles will salivate over your presidential gift, also.

S.Luggo December 17, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Q: Will the maker of TruckNutz follow Burger King’s lead? Just tossing this idea out there for some serious discussion.

fupduk December 17, 2008 at 9:41 pm

If they’d had this stuff when I was a kid maybe the dog would have played with me

schvitzatura December 17, 2008 at 11:22 pm

Eau de Food Service Workin’ Roomie, circa 1993…I’ll pass…

Captain Swing December 18, 2008 at 6:48 am

[re=201280]nolo[/re]: I know, I know, you warned me not to go there, but I have this awful habit of ignoring good advice.

So, Lily of the Dumpster will attract women like flies, or just flies, or werewolves perhaps, or… I don’t care to imagine the kind of female who might actually be aroused by this er… tasteful frangrance, but I strongly doubt I’d survive the encounter.

We Wonketteers are a tolerant and broad minded bunch, but this is seriously warped.

hemlockecho December 18, 2008 at 10:11 am

I’m holding out for a perfume with the scent of pan-seared tofu.

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