Wonkette
Of course, PROBE avoidance was the only way for Chairman COX to escape Madoff’s TAINT. GET IT????? Thank you loquaciousmusic for the screenshot! [AP]
FUNNY PICTURES
But the Bushies have repeatedly probed us like the monsters from outer-space they are.
You are welcome for the screenshot. Thank YOU for the Campbell.
The SEC should hire my old Boy Scouts pack leader.
Cox then offered a sincere apology before resigning in disgrace. Oh, wait — this is the Bush administration. He blamed his staff and promised to conduct an ineffectual review.
No mention of all the riches, foundations and charities looking to get a crack at hoofing Madoff in the Trucknutz?
His fingers look like they’ve recently been sniffed.
No, don’t quite gettit. Handy man COX escaped TAINT and the other guy PROBE-ably MADOFF?. But TAINT necessarily so. I think the story needs more ANALysis.
And then he MADOFF with everyone’s money!
GET IT???????????
He should just put on some latex gloves and go like THISSSSSS!
Darehead: Damn you and your fancy fast internet connection.
I can’t believe you kiss Newell with that foul mouth, Sara. Layne though…yeah.
BarthexDeRosa: It was almost a simultaneous snarkasm.
And why should the SEC have probed Maddoff. Just because his business model made no sense, his perfect record of profit returns made even less sense, all his trades were shrouded in secrecy and done through third channels so they weren’t tabulated in NYSE records, and executives from the company were tipping the SEC off to the fraud for years? Puhleeease. Give them something to go on, first before you start casting stones.
Today we are all failed anal probes.
Didn’t you guys read the 2002 budget for the SEC? There was a footnote:
SEC Chief Chris Cox was too busy keeping his head in his own ass to mess with Madoff.
After all, he was only repeatedly warned for YEARS that Madoff was running a fraud.
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
Shhhhh… it’s supposed to be a secret. Neither Jim nor Ken know that Sarah’s two-timing them.
Serolf Divad: We’ll soon see a memo from several years back titled “Madoff determined to strike inside securities market.”
Buttsecks jokes next to mega-Campbell seem a tad out of place. It feels like watching porn with my Mom. Errr… I mean…
No, no, too sexy. I can’t handle all this dirty talk at work.
Sara K. Smith:
Of course, PROBE avoidance was the only way for Chairman COX to escape Madoff’s TAINT. GET IT?????
One of us! One of us! One of us!
Kev-O-Tron: Cox looks like he’s ready to probe BROWN. Must be in place.
Cox is the Downtown Michael Brown of the money markets! Maybe a closer examination of his professional résumé will reveal multiple stints at a Dairy Queen and a long stretch during the 80s where he was a self-employed driftwood artist.
Serolf Divad:
Yes, the SEC could’ve used some real intelligence.
Maybe something like “
bin LadenMadoff determined tostrikerip offinUnited States”?SayItWithWookies: sorry dude, I must have a series of slow tubes.
Even the slightest whiff of taint on Cox could have catastrophic consequences.
Each day, the huge pic of Campbell Brown pans down to show an almost indiscernibly increasing amount of torso. In two weeks, we’ll finally have her with no pants on.
I can’t wait to spend this evening watching FOX News to find out how, even though there is no proof what-so-ever, that this is Obama’s fault.
Advocatus_Diaboli: It’s being clogged up with Campbell Brown ads — they’re ubiquitous. Sorta like warnings of an impending Ponzi scheme collapse.
Shhhhh
Oh crap. Um, let it be known heretoforthwith that I have no evidence that Sara kisses Newell or Layne, I was just, um, giving voice to my own masturbation fantasies. Yeah, that’s it.
loquaciousmusic: You shouldn’t have. No, I mean you really shouldn’t have.
Scarab: Cub Scouts travel in packs. Boy Scouts travel in troops. This is all made clear in The Complete Field Guide to North American Boys, available at your nearest church rectory or NAMBLA office. Pick yours up today!
Proctogist, heal thyself.
…a Republican that DOESN’T want to probe another man? I think today’s forecast in Hell is windy with a high chance of snow!
Apparently, Madoff didn’t look middle-eastern enough to probe.
He needs more practice:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1263/1449618390_7fcf580cdb.jpg
Mustang: Think of it as the first present in your imaginary stocking that you’re getting for Christmas because there’s no money to buy presents and all the toys have lead in them and Santa really doesn’t exist and ALSO THERE IS NO GOD.
But at least we have our government! And unicorns!
But if he missed a credit card payment…
WWCS - What Would Campbell Say?
Larry McAwful: Cub Scouts travel in packs. Boy Scouts travel in troops. This is all made clear in The Complete Field Guide to North American Boys, available at your nearest church rectory or NAMBLA office. Pick yours up today
Next you’ll be telling me that there’s really no merit badge for ‘Find the candy in my swimsuit’
i swear this campbell pic is getting bigger.
I hear Madoff’s got an 8 inch taint.
Servo: WIN.
Please snark enough for both of us today. I am in a snark desert right now.
Servo: Bite your tongue! Madoff isn’t that bad of a guy!
Cox is lying bastard; one of his investigators has been probing Madoff’s daughter for years.
Why would he deny such excellent undercover work?
“Madoff Taint Smothers Cox”
“Cox to Probe Madoff Taint”
HuskyMescan:
“It’s insane, this guy’s taint!”
Brown Christmas Probe:
http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/4b2/330138067_143557.gif
Rather than make another joke about buttholes and taint. Here’s an off topic and funny read:
Awwww! Wal-Mart bakery caters to baby Hitler.
Clancy_Pants: that’s awesome, but I can’t rate it! its four stars!!!
Scarab: Oh, there is. But if your scoutmaster is like mine was, he’ll tell you to sew it in a special place and not tell anyone that you have it.
I got the canoeing merit badge, too.
Clancy_Pants: 3 Whore diamonds for you!
4tehlulz: for reals….who could have predickted?
obfuscator: You don’t say?
http://obscurestore.typepad.com/obscure_store_and_reading/2008/12/man-smacks-wife-after-she-asks-to-smell-his-penis-.html
I’m startin’ a Fonzi scheme. I just need a $200 deposit for the obligatory leather jacket.
Can you really trust a guy who looks just like Chris Cooper (of Syriana fame)?
I watch the first 10 seconds and read some “positive” comments on it, now please kill me.
Serolf Divad: Indeed. Let he who is without sin cast the first shoe.
Also, I think *someone* needs a break from Wonkette commenters. SKS, if you’ll tape a big pic of Campbell Brown over the comment section, or hey, better yet have your IT guy link in a CB pic there, you’ll get the relief you need. Temporarily, of course.
Someone’s going to have a lot of free time on their holiday party calendar.
Darehead: ‘Twat? I cun’t hear you.
HuskyMescan: Hence, the reason they treat their employees as concentration camp workers. Then gas them when they get ready to retire.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: Oh, and then collects the “Dead Peasant” money.
Ha ha ha. WALNUTS was RIGHT about Cox.
Remind me again why we don’t have a “Caption This” tag.
Servo: In the standard Fonzi scheme, you trick a suburban Milwaukee family into letting you live in the attic above their garage.
Another popular Fonzi scheme involves an elaborate con in which you “fix” “broken” jukeboxes by striking them with your elbow or kicking them.
Also, you apparently date random high school cheerleaders even though you appear to be in your mid-to-late 30’s.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: Ain’t that the truth. My mom used to work at Wal-Mart. It’s shithole, but God Bless America ($5.97 + tax)!
Cox Boys Fingered in Weak Taint Probe, Madoff Gets Money Shot? Sounds like more trouble on the set of “Swollen Assets.”